Pedestrians and buildings blinked on by as Harley pushed the car to 85 miles an hour. There was no point in driving without speeding.

Usually, she'd be zipping in between cars, nearly hitting them, grazing some. Double points! However, tonight the streets were empty, which would make scoring new presents even harder.

After five minutes of running red lights (talent!), Harley spotted a potential pair a block ahead. She slowed for a better look, and decided against picking them up: it was a young couple, hand-in-hand. The girl nuzzled the boy's shoulder while the boy smiled.

Absotoot-alootely adorable. She missed Puddin' so much, she ached. But he'd be back. He always came back, and when he did, she intended to have a scrumptious gift waiting, something more spectacular than clowns.

Harley continued zooming about town, the blinking stars overhead prompting her to hum "Jingle Bells" all over again.

Though the streets were dark, a flash of black drew her notice. She'd know that whooshing thing anywhere, except...no Batty clouds lit up the velvet sky. Then it was two capes, bobbing alongside one another.

The cloaked figures dashed into an electronics store, emerging minutes later, their backpacks bulging more than before.

"Curiouser and curiouser," she said in her best English accent.

In a quick jerk, she jack-knifed the car onto the sidewalk, effectively cutting off the path for the lank youths. They halted, ready to bolt until she hung out the window, exclaiming,

"It's been a night of imitations, but I wanna hang with ya anyway. We cool?"

The two exchanged glances, trying and failing to understand their sudden change in fortunes. Finally, they nodded, with the fatter one gesturing for her to follow. Harley was already out of the car and ready to rock. It'd been awhile since she'd indulged in chaos for chaos sake. She usually had an end goal, even if it was just to please her Puddin. Lately, she'd taken to doing things for herself, and it felt damn good.

"Ya kids are pickin' out your own presents, eh? That's smart. Way easier than buyin' for someone else," she said, prancing behind them into a jewelry store.

They seemed to be able to waltz in and out of wherever they pleased without triggering an alarm. One of them flashed a small device at the security panel, and they were in.

First thing she noted was a display of gold chain necklaces, but she squashed the thought. Mr. J had enough of those.

Bent on their klepto-destructo fest, the fake Batmans (aka FATMANS!) busted open the register, broke signs, and raked various baubles into their backpacks.

As she watched, Harley liked them more and more.

A shiny red ring winked at her, and she smashed the glass counter to grab it.

"Get yourself a present," she murmured, trying the ring on and finding it fit perfectly.

The two Fatmen would make perfect presents for Mr. J., but they didn't have to know that.

~*~