Tom: *walks in* sorry I wasn't in the last chapter...... *Finally sees the title* Hell fucking *bleep* *beep* *boop* *bleeeeeeeeeeeep!!*

Me: um

Apple: *pees a bit in fear*

Draco: *spits out his drink* WHAT!?

Severus: No absolutely not

Lily: no

James and Harry: no *gives each other a high five*

Luna: who requested this?

Ron: I forgot

Pansy: *crosses her arms* serves the mudblood right.

Tom: WHAT DI PD YOU JUST CALL MY GIRLFRIEND!?

Me and everyone else: girlfriend?

Tom: ......

Hermione: I don't ship it

Ron: same

Fred: ship

George: it

Blaise: I agree with Fred and George.

Me: .......

Sirius: nope

Remus: I rather ship Author X Severus.

Severus and me: WHAT!?

Lucius: *walks in* what did I miss?

Tom: *looks at Lucius* you!!!

Tom and Lucius: *starts fighting in the other room.*