Thanks Calla-Lilly for keeping up with this book since the very beginning :*

OKKKK guys my computer has been broken for a really long time now and two days ago it just straight up would not turn on so I discovered my battery had been dead inside the laptop but I have it back and I have a new charger (Which was also broken xD)

Wow don't ever trust me with your electronics because most likely just me touching will end in complete chaos.

Thank you for waiting patiently :*

Quickly, I threw another punch at Tilly. She dodged it in a swift movement.

"Much better today," She said with a smile. I forced one out to match hers. It's been two days and I haven't even spoken to Ryder. He won't even come near me. 

And whenever we're in the same room, or area, it's so awkward! We do everything in our power to not look at each other. In fact we barely acknowledge each. But you can tell it's all forced. Em and the Twins always send me and him weird looks but we act like we don't even know what they're talking about.

Of course a huge part of me wants to forget this ever happened so I can climb into his arms and stay there forever. Fighting with him felt like fighting with a part of myself to be honest. My wolf doesn't really say much about it. In fact she says close to nothing. We really only speak to each other when we need to. I can feel her sadness at the fact we all got into an arguement about our past lovers or whatever we want to call them.

I just wish that he would open up to me the way I'm slowly learning to open up to him. Whenever I even think of him with that "Rose", I start to feel sick. I'm sure that's how he feels when Mitch and I are around eachother, but he has to understand that that will never happen and never will. I barely knew Mitch! At least it felt like it. I remember it all but it . . . it's not right. 

"Uh, hello? Earth to Zara Caine?" Tilly cleared her throat. I snapped my head towards her in confusion, before I sighed. Caine. My real last name. Harper must have been my "mothers" name. Suddenly my thoughts drifted to my biological mother, Caroline. Was she a good person? Did I look like her? Would everything be different if she were here with me? 

"Ahem," She cleared her throat, smacking my shoulder. 

"Sorry," I mumbled. 

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, getting back into her stance. I copied her, continuing on with our training session.

"Everything," I admitted. She aimed for a jab at my side, but I ducked.

"How so?" She asked, bringing her hands back. I shrugged, trying to hit her, but she moved. 

"Is this about Alpha Ryder?" She asked, before kicking underneath me. At his name, I froze, and had no time to jump, so of course I landed on my butt. My back collided with the ground, but it didn't hurt as much as my first time training. I stayed laying down, looking up.

"How'd you know?" I mumbled. She put her hands on her before squatting down next to my side. 

"Everyone knows," She said with a slight chuckle. I frowned. Great. I needed everyone to know me and Ryder were in a fight. 

"That obvious?" 

"Duh. Everyone can tell when mates are fighting because usually all mates want are to be with each other. But honestly I find it pretty funny that you two are fighting. Seems to me like you both are going through a whole lot of trouble to avoid each other," She said as if having a memory. I groaned, sitting up and getting to my feet.

"So, what happened?" She asked, standing up and readying her arms. 

"I wish I knew," I snorted, and landed a punch.

-

When training ended, I decided to shower and go for a walk. I needed to clear my head. Or at least try. After I put on some sweats and a v-neck with converse, I made my way down the stairs. Before leaving, I grabbed an apple to satisfy my small snackish hunger.

"Zara, where are you going?" 

I turned around to see Em with the twins on her shoulders. I smiled.

"Just for a walk." 

"Can we come?" The twins suddenly asked, giving me horrid puppy dog eyes. Emily turned to the two with her hand on her hips.

"Can you two bone heads tell she wants to be alone?" She growled. I gulped nervously, feeling quite awkward.

"Awe, don't be like that," Theo said with a frown. Speaking of twins and boys, where was Em's mate? Were they ok? All this mate talk and thinking of mates had my head spinning. I wanted to be alone with me and my thoughts.

Without another word, I simply turned and walked out the door. The cold air hit me hard, making me breathe in a sight of relief. 

I walked down from the porch steps and began my trek into the forest.

It was about 7, with the sun starting to set. It felt nice, to be by myself. I put my hands in my pockets, enjoying the air around me. I listened to every little sound with my profound senses. Birds chirped an eerie low song, their voices echoing around the mysterious forest. Squirrels played around, chasing each other and hopping from branch to branch. I could almost hear the breath of each creature as I walked around. Leaves crunched beneath my feet as I meandered around the woods aimlessly without a care in the world.

 I sat down against a tree trunk, wrapping my arms around my legs, pulling them into my chest. 

And then I did something.

I closed my eyes, and dreamed.

It was beautiful, and I wish it had been real life. 

I was in the forest, surrounded by friends and family. Emily sat with her mate at a picnic table, smiling and holding hands. Their eyes twinkled and gleamed when they stared at eachother. Not far from them, Leo and Theo were playing catch with a baseball, "accidentally" throwing it at others. Ryder and I were sitting on a picnic blanket in the forest,  laying down and watching the stars. Then I suddenly got up, and went to embrace my father in a hug, followed by my mother, Caroline, and her sister, the one who raised me. 

We were all smiling. But my real mother's smile was the one that held the most beauty. So vibrant, happy and hopeful. Her blonde hair  was loose at her arms and my father's hands were wrapped around her waist. I looked back, seeing Ryder stare at me with a smile plastered on his face. 

Everything was perfect.

And then I woke up.

It was pitch black all around me. How long had I fallen asleep. It wasn't until then that I realized I was bobbing up and down, with arms behind the crook of my knee and one on my back. I realized that when the sparks raced down my cheek at impact, that I was being carried by Ryder. I pretended to sleep, too anxious to say anything.

He obviously found me asleep  in the woods. But now what was to come? Would he act like none of this happened? As much as I wanted to move on from this, I knew I couldn't simply walk away from it. And I think he knows too.

"I know you're awake angel," he murmured, sending a tremor down my spine. I peeked open one eye to look up at him. His eyes didn't meet mine as he walked forward with ease. His jaw seemed lock and with my new night like vision, I could see his eyes were hard.

I sighed, resting my eyes.

"What were you doing out here?" He muttered.

"I went for a walk and just sat down . ." I replied.

"Are you okay?" He replied, his voice seeming much more gentle. I gave a small smile.

"I'm ok." I replied. 

"Rose was the girl that I believed fate designed to be my mate," He started. I looked up at him. Should I stop him? I stayed silent, waiting to hear the story that I've been wanting to hear for a long time. 

"She was a damaged girl, came with a rough life. When we were 15, my pack found her passed out, naked and bloody, on our territory that bridges with Moonlight pack." He paused, as if remembering. My heart clenched. 

"She woke up and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is my name. She was undoubtedly beautiful. So obviously, teenager me took this as a sign. I trained her, and learned more about her. She never said much about herself but was always curiuos about me." 

He paused again, and for a second I wandered if that was all he was going to say. I couldn't help but compare myself to Ryder. That was exactly how I was feeling. She wouldn't open up as much as he did, and now I feel like Ryder won't open up to me as much. Perhaps she was the reason why he was so closed off? And I thought I was the one that had trust issues. Ryder just had different ways of coping and showing it. 

"We got older and she let me mark her and . . .well . . on the night of when we said we'd complete the mating process-" my blood began to boil with red. Him, with her? Before I could say anything, he continud.

"I came into my room and she was gone. I thought maybe she went for a run, but after a bit she didn't return, so I figured, maybe she was kidnapped . . . you know, like you were. So like anyone would, I sent out a search party, but when I found her, I wished I hadn't."

Again, he paused. 

"She was just . .  she just sat there. And her eyes, gleaming with humor. She was smiling, that sugar sweet smile, and I no longer found it to be the one I loved. She just . . . sat there," His voice cracked. My mate, for the first time, seemed broken. And in this, I felt my heart break further. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to hug him and never let go.

"She was with this man, and he was holding her hands lovingly. She had the audacity to look at me the way she did. The Rose I knew was gone. And I . . " He paused, his voice cracking. He squeezed his eyes shut before stopping in his tracks. Suddenly, I jerked when something hot and cold dripped onto my forhead. Shocked, I looked up to see a streak down his face. Suddenly I jumped out of his arms and turned to stare at him. His eyes were lost, and glossy. I felt myself wanting to cry at this beautiful creature crying.

When someone so strong begins to break apart, you can't help but feel you want to break apart as well. My eyes, glossing over at this new state of his, searched his face. I reached my hands up and rested my palms on his cheeks, swiping away his hot tears with my thumb.

"I did something Zara, and I can't undo it." 

And he squeezed his eyes and a hot tear fell from his damp lashes. 

"I hurt her. I was so angry."

"Ryder, what are you saying?" I asked slowly, as if he were a child.

"I killed her. I killed Rose."

And then he broke.

-

My heart race picked up and I felt myself stumble backwards. 

But it was strange.

I didn't feel antsy because he killed her. I was antsy because of his reaction. He thought he was a monster. And by finding me - his actual mate - I could tell he wanted to do things right. I finally understood all the over protection I recieved from him. He was afraid I would be the one to hurt him, and in doing so, he'd hurt me. He'd been carrying this grief and heavy burden for I don't know how long. 

She didn't just break his heart. She stole it, and never gave it back. Yet slowly, piece by piece, it's been forming, building, and trying to form itself again. And then it was set. I was going to be the one to mold his heart. I was going to let myself free, and allow myself to have him. He deserves all of me. The real me. Though I don't understand what Rose did exactly, she must have betrayed him. 

Seeing him like this makes me feel . . . I can't even describe it. I just know, I never want to see this again.

"Ryder," I mumble, but one of his hands is squeezing his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Hey, look at me." I whisper, and at once he lifts his head and stares at me with his red puffy eyes.

"I will never do that to you. Your past does not define who you are," I coo gently, rubbing his cheek.

"But-"

"No," I whisper, pressing a finger against his lips. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath.

"Ryder I'm . ." I start off slowly and his gaze snaps open to me.

"Ryder I'm falling in love with you. Each and every day. I don't care about my family blood line, or your ex girlfriends, or anything. I want you and only you and I will never betray you, and . . . and" I ran out of things to say before I stay quiet.

"And I'm falling in love with you," I say with a helpless and dry laugh as I looked up at him, waiting for him to speak.

Cliff hanger suck my butt

Lol

Whoops

Ok.

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