EDIT: TW TARANTULA STORY LINE MENTIONNED BRIEFLY//JASON'S DEATH 

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/

https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/

Dick's room was the safe zone. He knew most of the things that were in there aside from the few photos of people he didn't know. That was easily fixed by putting the picture frames facedown so their unknown eyes couldn't stare at him. There was one thing he couldn't easily fix and that was the journal hiding in the bedside cabinet. After his fight with Bruce, the temptation to look inside the book was impossible to keep at bay. It contained an answer as to why Bruce was like this, what happened to him in the future, and why his dad wasn't his dad anymore. When he stormed into his room and slammed the door shut, he went straight to the drawer and snatched up the journal. He sat himself down on the bed and opened it up on the first page. It was quite thick so he wasn't too surprised when it began when he was eighteen. He sped read through the first few pages until something caught his eye. "When I was retired, well mutually fired, from Robin." He was fired? That must be why he was Nightwing now. Maybe that's why Bruce didn't like him as much because he'd fired him. He read on. He'd been replaced with Jason but no less than a year later Jason had died. Well, that couldn't be true, Jason was downstairs. He'd found him when he was in the alley. Then again, Dick had been in his early twenties just a few nights ago. Weirder things had happened. He read the next few pages. The entries seemed far and few between, only really documenting when something big happened. Tim came into the picture. His initial reaction to the new kid was that he was smart. Almost dangerously. He seemed worried for him too, saying Bruce might not be the same man he knew anymore so Tim had to be careful. "This business is addicting and to see such a smart kid dawn the mask, I don't know what to think. I'll just have to be there for him." Then he read more. He broke up with Barbara - well she broke up with him. The reason wasn't put down. That couldn't be about his Barbara, maybe a different one. He didn't think of her like that. Although he had no idea who this other Barbara was, he guessed it was someone who meant a lot to him judging by the pages and pages he spent writing about how distraught he was. Then another lady enters the picture. Tarantula.

There was a knock on the door which prevented him from reading much further. He put the book down and opened the door, finding Bruce standing awkwardly in the hallway. His expression soured at the sight of the man. "What do you want?" he asked harshly. 

"I need to talk with you," Bruce answered. He looked guilty. You could see it in his eyes. The boy, considering he ran up here with nothing to do but read a book, let him inside and closed the door behind him. He leaned on it for a moment as Bruce sat down. He'd sat near the journal and was now inspecting it. His face went pale upon reading the first sentence. "This is your journal," he stated rather breathlessly. Dick raised an eyebrow at him and nodded. Why was he so affected by what was on the page? 

"Yeah, I was reading it. I only just got past the part with Tim in it." The older let out a tiny sigh as though he was relieved he hadn't gotten further. "Why? What happens?"

"I don't think you should know. That's not what I came here to talk about anyway," he replied. 

"Well, it's what I want to talk about. You weren't there for me last night, the least you can do is tell me what happens to me. Or happened. I'm still getting used to this being a biological nine-year-old and not a time traveller," Dick stated. The billionaire waited, thinking it over, then picked up the book to gesture he was going to tell him. He went over to his mentor and scrambled up onto the bed. He got comfortable before staring up at Bruce for answers. 

"Tarantula is not a very nice lady. She did- she did a terrible thing to you," the older began. His eyes were already glossing over with unshed tears. "And if I could've spared you of that somehow or some way, I would've. I know I've not been a good dad to you since you've been back and if I'm honest I wasn't the best dad when you got older but I need you to know that I never stopped loving you. I wish I had been there for you. I wish I had been open for you to tell me the moment it happened."

"What was the terrible thing?" Dick asked innocently. That didn't help. He was so young. Perfectly unaware of what Bruce was talking about. Bruce had to go about it carefully. He tried to think of a way that would help him speak about something so adult. Finally, he came across a memory. 

"Do you remember that woman who was coming home from a nightclub? She had long brown hair and a sparkly dress," he began. 

"Yeah I said that I really liked it," Dick responded. He had a slight smirk remembering the nice conversation he'd had with her. Then that smile faded. He remembered the case. His eyes widened in realization. "That happened to me?" he asked softly. Bruce's eyes fell to the covers in defeat. He hated that he wasn't there for him. He hated that it took so long for him to speak about it. Did he come across like he wouldn't understand? He tried to be open about everything but he supposed walls had been built up. Dick reached up to his face and wiped away the tears resting on his cheeks. "Don't cry B. I bet you did what you could."

"No man wants to hear their son was treated like that, even more so a man who fights people who do that on a daily basis."

"I'm your son?" the child whispered. 

"Of course. Last night I didn't come to you because I was trying to get you back to normal and I was so exhausted afterwards that I didn't want to risk being ratty with you. That doesn't mean I don't love you all the same. I'm just so used to you already knowing I love you that I didn't think." The acrobat remained quiet for a moment and took the journal from his hands. He ran his small hand over the warped pages that seemed so old yet so new to him. Tear stained some of the pages, he could see their faint outline. He then glanced back up at his guardian. 

"I was sad Bruce. I haven't even gotten to the end of this yet and I know I was. You assumed I knew but I don't think I did," he stated. He flipped through the journals and read over the pages. Damian was in the picture. Bruce was supposed to be dead. He guessed he was the same type of death that Jason was. He saw that he had to be Batman and that he was basically a dad to Damian. He talked about missing all his friends as they'd grown apart over the years. He said he was tired. Dick sighed and closed the book. "If I go back to normal, you have to promise me you'll be my dad and not a hands-off foster parent. I clearly have the weight of the world on my shoulders and you've got your head in the sand about it."

"I promise I will be as long as you'll have me as your dad."

"You'll always be my dad B, even when you don't act like it."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You lost him hm?" 

"Sir I didn't know what the gun would do! You wouldn't tell me! If I had known, I wouldn't have been shocked-"

"Tt-tt I didn't ask you that, did I? I asked if you lost him."

"He's probably with Batman. Please don't do this I have a wife and kids!"

"And I'm missing a bird. Shame how things play out isn't it?" 

There was a loud scream as he tightened his grip on the trigger of the gun.

"So he's with an old friend. Such a shame. Still, that only makes the winnings that much sweeter."