It was next to silence in the room and Bruce was exhausted from that day's events yet he couldn't sleep a wink. His eyes were fixed on the little boy clinging to his side in his sleep, small snores escaping his lips and his breath hitching at some points only to even out. He was tiny, Bruce mused. He'd always been small even when he grew up. He was 5ft 10 and there was no doubt that if Tim didn't drink coffee like water he'd be the shortest of his boys. Damian obviously had some growing to do but he was sure he would reach at least 6ft. It was almost funny that his youngest could outgrow his eldest. He remembered when Dick first became self-conscious about his height. It had come after a day at school during a PE session where they were lined up by height. He was the smallest of the group with the second smallest being a good few inches taller than him. He stuck out like a sore thumb and with his already different background, the other boys latched onto it. He'd come home that day quieter than usual and he overheard him asking Alfred what made people grow.

"Grow?" Alfred repeated.

"Yes grow. Like grow tall," the younger clarified with some sense of urgency. He needed to know right then and there. 

"Well, eating your five a day and all your vegetables will make you grow."

"No, it won't because that's what I'm doing!" He was fretful now. "I need to get taller."

"Master Dick, you're only ten. You will grow in time."

That panic in Dick didn't fade for weeks and yet he didn't do much to ease his worries. Alfred did. All he did was say it didn't matter but Alfred said it would be okay. Those were the words the boy needed to hear. A dismissal only made him write Bruce off as the person not to go to with issues but constant reassurance had been the thing to make him feel confident enough to joke about his short stature. It should've been Bruce. Yes, Bruce was there for his son but he wasn't there enough and he didn't say the right things. He could've tried to do more, to say the right thing, to work through their issues. He could've done more and that's what truly stung. There was nothing stopping him from doing more and yet he didn't. He pushed Dick away then pulled him back then pushed him away. All of it must've been so confusing. Even in his twenties, Dick had to be confused about how close they were. He had to be bracing himself for the next thing. Bruce's eyes flickered to the dresser where they found the journal. No. He'd betrayed the acrobat's trust before and he wouldn't do it again. The journal wasn't meant for his eyes. He didn't have the right. "I've made so many mistakes," Bruce muttered to the quiet room. His voice was a low rumble as to not wake Dick. He needed the sleep. "I don't want to keep making them and yet I fall into old habits. I'm protective until I'm not and that's not fair on you. I do the same with the others. I'm a bad dad." He let out a sigh. He was going to change. You need to want to change in order to do so and he wanted to. There would be a new man by the time Dick went back to normal. A new man for all his kids. He couldn't go back in time and change everything for all of them but he would make up for it. 

There was a whimper that brought him out of his monologue promising change. He came back to the room and refocused his gaze to find Dick's face pinched with fright. His hands gripped onto Bruce's shirt and flinched under some imaginary force. He buried his face into the older's side as tears leaked from his tightly closed eyes. Bruce put his hand on the younger's back and rubbed circles on his back. "It's alright Dickie. I'm here," he assured him. His voice was soft as he tried to bring the younger out of the nightmare. There was a louder whimper and he kicked his leg out. 

"Who?" Dick whispered in a trembling voice. The panic behind it suggested the word was being screamed in his mind yet could only come out with half the ferocity. Bruce sat up and put his hands on the boy's arms, squeezing them not painfully hard but enough to break through the veil of sleep. "No, no."

"It's Bruce. I'm here now. I promise." He rubbed the younger's arms as he repeated the phrase. His mind trailed to all the times he'd done this before but also reminded him of all the times he hadn't. All those days he'd been out on patrol, those days he'd decided Dick would just sort himself out and when he decided he was too old for it. Who's too old for comfort? Why did he suck at this so much? He could disable a bomb but give him a child and he was stumped. He just repeated what he was doing and waited for it to work. It usually did. He avoided the half-hearted punches thrown in the air as his son fought against something he couldn't see. He always hated that. He couldn't be there to punch whoever was hurting him. It wasn't like when they went out as Batman and Robin. If someone laid their finger on his boy then they'd pay but in the dream world that wasn't possible. "Sorry."

"Sorry?" he repeated with furrowed eyebrows. "Dick? Are you awake?"

"Okay?" Nope still not awake and very much still upset so he continued to tell him the same mantra. "Slade!" Oh no. 

"There's no more Slade Dickie. We got you back, didn't we? A little worse for wear but we got you back." Tears spilt down Dick's face whilst he did everything he could to wiggle and punch and kick. They were frantic movements, yes, but there was hardly any power behind them. His body was much too tired for that. "C'mon chum, wake up." There was a shrill shriek that broke his heart before Dick seemed to break free of the dream and take a deep desperate breath. His eyes flickered around the room in panic as he tried to remind himself this was reality and not the dream. He gulped and the eyes that were previously full of recognition were now glazed over. "Chum?" Bruce called. "Are you alright?" His eyes squeezed closed for a moment then he looked over to his mentor. "Are you with me?"

"Just about," he said slowly. He blinked a few times, taking deep breaths and eventually managed to centre himself again although he was looking significantly paler. "Am I okay?"

"Yes, you're here-"

"No. Am I okay?"

"I'm not following," Bruce told him. 

"Your version of me," the boy clarified. "I keep having his nightmares and they're horrible B! They're not my memories and I know they're not made up, I just know it!"

"He's..." Bruce trailed off. Was he okay? He never asked these days. He'd hear about the traumatic things through the grapevine and maybe he'd pay a visit but there would never be any questioning. They pretended it didn't happen because that's what they did. Pretend the bad things didn't happen until they couldn't pretend any longer. He assumed that Dick had a stable enough network of friends to admit to if he wasn't feeling okay but over the years the ties had become complicated. He'd made mistakes, his friends made mistakes, everyone was to blame for something that further severed ties. Yet there was always some reconnection. He was friends with exes after all. Through those troublesome times, who was there to ask if he was okay? It wasn't Bruce. Not the friends that he was having troubles with. Not his brothers. Not his sisters. Not other heroes. Just himself and he was always so good at lying to himself. "You don't know?" Dick whispered.

"You got older and I stopped asking. It's only now that I thought about it," he admitted. 

"What's there to look forward to if I go back to normal?"

"What do you mean?" 

"You care about me now right? As a little kid?" Bruce nodded unsurely. "But when I grow up, you stopped and I go through those bad things so what's there to look forward to if I skip back to my twenties?" 

"I'll change and I'll make sure I show you the same care." Dick hummed unconvinced before laying back down only this time he was lying much father from his father figure. That was weird. He always cuddled up when he had the choice and surely he should do it now that he didn't have his stuffed elephant. "Dick, you know I love you right? Even as you got older, I still love you."

"Sure B."

"No, you need to know that I love you very much."

"How am I supposed to know that when I don't know when I'm older!"

Dick sat up and kicked off the covers in something that resembled a tantrum but Bruce knew better than to label it that. The younger was confused and annoyed and upset. There were so many emotions running through his mind and add that on top of the trauma he'd just sustained and on top of just appearing nearly twenty years in the future. There was so much going on that he had a right to just let it out in what he could. If it came out as kicking off the covers and not going back to sleep then that's how it came out. Bruce was in his forties and he could get like that in moments. He lashed out when there was so much running through his head that he didn't know which feelings were which. Dick was so young now. He needed a moment. "It's not fair!" Dick shouted. 

"What's not fair?"

"It's not fair that he just had to deal with everything! I have parts of his memories and it's not fair! It's not, it's not, it's not." 

"Take a deep breath," Bruce instructed. The younger shot him a death stare. "I'm not telling you to calm down but I need you to take a deep breath so we can address this properly. You've just been through a traumatic experience on top of a traumatic experience and you're exhausted. Putting more stress on yourself will make things worse." Though the acrobat seemed angry at the older, perhaps rightfully so, he did as he was told and took a deep breath. It hitched and became shaky so he did it again and again until it was even. He felt Bruce's hand on his back to help him through and he blamed the lack of energy for him not moving away rather than his need for comfort right now. He didn't want Bruce to be comforting him when he still wasn't sure how he felt about this version of his mentor. "I have his nightmares."

"Oh, Dickie."

"He's been through so much and I'm sure he's made mistakes but why is he so alone?"

"He's not alone perse. He just thinks he is. You've been through a lot chum." There was some silence as Dick thought that concept over. It was a lot to take in. He supposed that there wasn't much he could do about everything that happened. It had already gone on so how was he supposed to change anything? His older self would be the same way he was when he was changed into him. "You have to promise me something B."

"What is it?"

"When I go back to normal, ask if I'm okay and give me a hug even if I say I am. I think he needs it."

"I promise." That seemed to ease the boy but not very much. He still seemed upset but Bruce couldn't work out what it was that caused it. Was he still mad about how unfair everything seemed? He supposed that was valid. Was he upset from the nightmare? Also valid considering he said he was having his older self's nightmare. Okay Bruce, how do you comfort a child when you have no idea what's running through their mind? Distraction came to mind. It was a short term solution sure but maybe it would help him get some rest. He certainly needed it. It would do for now until he could find something else. "Do...do you have his dreams? The nice ones?" A small smile crossed the younger lips as he nodded. 

"I've had a few. Not a lot but they're nice. It's usually a group day out somewhere with people I'm not entirely sure I know and some I know for certain. Do you know a blonde girl only a little taller than Tim and a girl with a black bob about the same size? They're family I know it. Oh and a guy in a yellow suit? Signal I think."

"The blonde is Steph. Cass is the bob. Duke is Signal," Bruce explained. He nodded slowly and repeated the names in his head. They seemed to check out. "They would be happy to hear you think of them as family."

"Why? I don't know why they feel like family, they just do."

"It shows it's somewhat innate. That you really care for them. You're always good at that. You know what they call us now? The Batfamily. I swear everyone just puts Bat in front of anything when it comes to us and I blame you for it." The boy giggled at the comment. He was the one to point at things in the Batcave and put Bat in front of them. Even going so far as to call a regular pencil a Batpencil after scribbling his mentor's logo on it. When it was suggested that he do the same thing with his hero name he said it would be stupid. "I have a lot to thank you for."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You looked after Damian for a year. You made hard decisions when I wasn't there. You've done a lot for this family. To think it was only you, me and Alfred."

"Now you have half a circus," Dick joked. He chuckled at the smaller. He supposed they rather were like a circus. Everyone had their special tricks and put on a show. They knew it was dangerous doing their jobs and they travelled to far off places. It was all a found family that was just as close as a biological one though theirs was a little more dramatic in places. People didn't get on but no family liked everyone connected to them. If they did, it was probably a cult or a very small family. "I wish the older me recognised that."

"He will do. I'll make sure of it."

"Thanks. I think I wanna try to sleep now."

"Sounds like a plan. I can read to you again if you like?" The younger nodded and resumed his reading position pressed against the billionaire's side. "And Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to be a better dad. I promise."

"Okay B."