«Love insists the loved loves back.»

As soon as he walked down the stairs, Yoongi dialed his friend's phone number. He pushed the front door of the building open with his shoulder and pulled his collar up a little higher when he realized that it had started to rain in the meantime. He squinted his eyes together and fell into a light jog to escape the rain. Normally he would take shelter at the bus stop he was just passing by. But he only wanted to get away. And preferably as far away and as fast as possible. He would not bear to look Y/N in the eyes now, when he knew what he had just done.

He didn't understand anything anymore. Weren't soulmates supposed to make you stop questioning your feelings and be one hundred percent sure that you were with the right person? Then why had he felt something during the kiss with Liv that he had never felt with Y/N?

"Hello?" the voice came out of the speaker of his phone and Yoongi flinched as he was yanked out of his thoughts.

"Hoseok," he greeted the younger one and raised his hand apologetically when he was almost hit by a car because he had run across the street without looking to escape the rain. "Are you at home or at the dance studio?"

"Nice of you to assume that I only rotate between two places," Hoseok replied with a scoff.

"So where are you?"

Hoseok sighed. "At home." The corner of Yoongi's mouth twitched slightly upwards. "Why?"

"Is Jungkook home?"

Hoseok was quiet for a moment and Yoongi wondered if the younger one had to look first before he could answer his question. "No, he isn't. Why?"

"Then I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Wha–" Hoseok wanted to ask but Yoongi had already ended the call and put his phone in his pocket. He hoped Hoseok could help him to finally find some answers to his endless questions.

A few minutes later, Yoongi stood dripping wet in the bathroom of the shared apartment and thankfully accepted the towel that Hoseok held out to him. He ruffled his hair with it, even though his clothes still stuck to him.

"I'll get you some sweatpants and a dry shirt," Hoseok said and disappeared into his room.

"Do you have any wet ones as well?" Yoongi shouted after him and he heard Hoseok laugh softly. A little later, the two of them were sitting on Hoseok's bed.

"Why are you here, Yoongi? It's not like you to just show up like that," Hoseok wondered.

Yoongi had his eyes on the gray sweatpants while he wrestled his hands for an answer. He had to tell someone, all the doubts were eating him up. He sighed, briefly closed his eyes and gathered his courage. "It's because of Y/N."

"Your Y/N?"

Yoongi opened his eyes again to look at Hoseok in disbelief. "No, the other one."

Hoseok quickly waved his hands in front of his upper body in defense. "Sorry, sorry. What about her?"

"I don't know, something feels weird," Yoongi chewed on his lower lip as he searched for the right words to best explain it to Hoseok.

"Weird? In what way?" Hoseok sat up straight and frowned.

"Do you think that there could happen a mistake in the process of finding soulmates?"

Hoseok opened his eyes wide in shock. "What the... Yoongi, what happened between you two?"

"Nothing, that's the point." Yoongi heard for himself how frustrated he sounded.

"Nothing? As in...?"

"We haven't slept together, if that's what you want to know. She wanted to slow things down a bit, and I respect that. After all, we have what feels like an eternity ahead of us."

"Why does that sound more like torture than the most beautiful thing that can happen to you?"

"Because I feel nothing, Hoseok. I feel nothing at all." Hoseok looked at his best friend patiently, who was obviously struggling for words. "When she kisses me, looks at me, touches me... I just want her to stop."

"Ouch." Hoseok looked at him in pain, then he frowned. "I never thought I'd hear you rejecting a girl."

"Ha ha," Yoongi said ironically. "I don't know why I feel that way either. Is there something wrong with me? Am I broken, maybe?"

Hoseok shook his head. "No, you're not. I just think you need to get a good night's sleep. Knowing you, you've been brooding about it for the last few days and hardly slept."

Yoongi looked at his hands in shame and kept silent. Hoseok knew that this wasn't the whole story.

"What else is it?" he asked.

Yoongi avoided his gaze but Hoseok repeated his question, this time a bit more demanding. "What did you do, Yoongi?"

Yoongi hesitated but he knew Hoseok wouldn't let up. Also, he knew that if he wanted to get help from him, he had to tell him the truth. As dirty as it made him feel to say it. "You know Liv, right?"

"Y/N's friend, right?" Then a moment of silence later: "Yoongi, what the hell did you do?"

"We kissed."

"What?!" Hoseok exclaimed and jumped up from the bed. He stared at Yoongi, hoping that his best friend was just pulling some stupid prank. But he could tell from Yoongi's reaction that he was serious. Speechless, he stood there and could do nothing but stare at him and wait for explanations.

"I, I don't know how this happened, Hoseok. One moment we were arguing and the next moment I suddenly had her in my arms and our lips..."

"Okay, okay, I don't want to hear it!" Hoseok put his flat hands to his ears and wished he could forget what he had just heard. That he was mad at Yoongi would be a massive understatement.

"Hoseok, please listen to me," Yoongi begged and Hoseok lowered his arms again. He had never seen Yoongi so upset. "That kiss... that's exactly what I should feel with Y/N. I've never been on the same wavelength with anyone like that. And every time we see each other, I feel the need to go to her and be close to her."

"Yoongi, please shut up," Hoseok interrupted him. "Your soulmate is Y/N. Not Liv. If you don't believe me, take a look in the mirror and the name on your skin. But what you, or rather both of you, have done is irresponsible. Shit, what about Jungkook?"

"Please don't tell him about this. This must stay between us."

"You're telling me this now?" Hoseok shook his head in shock. "You have to tell him, Yoongi. Anything else would be unfair to him. And Y/N too."

"I can't tell her," Yoongi objected and looked at him for the first time. Hoseok's breath faltered for a moment when he saw Yoongi's eyes glistening. "What if she doesn't forgive me? I can't lose her, she's my soulmate."

Hoseok took a deep breath. As angry as he was at Yoongi, accusations were not what his best friend needed right now. So he swallowed his anger and sat back on the bed next to Yoongi. He wrapped his arm around Yoongi's shoulders and patted his upper arm to cheer him up. "It's your own decision whether you tell her. I can't take that from you. But you should really think about what you want. Otherwise you'll end up hurting not only her, but everyone else around you, and especially yourself."

Yoongi leaned forward and supported his head in his hands. "I know," he murmured and his voice came out muffled between his fingers. "This is all so confusing."

"Tell me about it," sighed Hoseok. "At first I envied you when you told us you had a soulmate. You only ever hear about that in movies and books and I never thought that one of my best friends would get one." Hoseok paused for a moment and sighed, "But now I feel like it's just causing problems."

Yoongi gave a short, ironic laugh and let his shoulders drop a little more. "I just wish someone could tell me why I feel like this."

"What if you talk to Liv again? Maybe she felt the same way?"

"Hm," he said and let the idea run through his head. But why should you feel the same? Did you also have a soulmate and had the same problems as he had with Y/N? Was it possible that someone had several soulmates? "Do you think the library has books on this subject? I haven't found anything on the Internet about this."

Hoseok unknowingly shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but it's worth a try. Anything is better than sitting here like a pile of misery."

Yoongi gave the younger one a short, cold look from the side. "Thanks, Hoseok. You were always the best at cheering me up." His voice dripped with irony.

Hoseok dismissed his compliment with a smile and a wave of his hand. "You're welcome," he laughed and patted Yoongi on the shoulder again before he stood up. "I have to go to the dance studio, the choreography isn't finished yet." He took a look at Yoongi, who seemed to be lost in thought again. "Do you need anything else from me?"

Yoongi shook his head and stood up too. "I'll bring your clothes back next time we meet."

"Yo, don't sweat it. And if you need anything else, call me."

"Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I appreciate it. I couldn't have talked to Taehyung or Jimin about this. So... thank you," he said, saying goodbye so quickly that Hoseok didn't even get a chance to say another word.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Wet and miserable you stepped into your apartment. You didn't know that they had forecast rain for today. That's why the rain had surprised you. On the other hand, it suited your mood. You felt wrung out by the emotional turmoil and took off your jacket with no energy left.

"Hey," a voice came from your side and you looked up after you put your shoes away. Your roommate Jang-mi stood next to you and looked at you with an insecure look. "Jungkook is here."

Judging by her voice, it apparently didn't mean anything good. Yoongi's words came back to your memory and you felt your heart sink. "How long has he been here?" You felt sick at the thought of what you had done with Yoongi while Jungkook sat in your room, waiting for you, and perhaps wondering if you were just playing with him.

Jang-mi gave you a sad smile. "About half an hour. I said he could wait in your room."

"Thank you, Jang-mi," you said sincerely and were on your way to your room but she stopped you by your arm. Surprised, you looked at her.

"Why did he ask for Liv? And not for you?"

Shit. The room began to spin and you literally felt yourself sliding down the seemingly endless spiral. The more people knew about the pact, the harder it would be to ever get that slippery spiral back up. So you put off your roommate with an excuse. "I'll explain it to you later, okay? I had a really shitty day. You didn't tell Jungkook, did you?"

She shook her head and you breathed a sigh of relief. At least some good news today. "I didn't tell him, but I expect you to tell me later what the fuck you got yourself into again." Jang-mi looked at you seriously and you knew you couldn't avoid a later conversation. One more thing on your to-do list of things you didn't want to do, but had to.

You went to your room with a bad feeling. You didn't want to open the door, didn't want to see the young man waiting behind it. You felt miserable. You weren't a bad person, on the contrary. How you had turned into something you never wanted to become in just over a week, you didn't know.

And all that because of a few black lines on your skin. People got tattoos of absolutely pointless and meaningless things all the time. Why did these lines had to carry so much meaning?

You gathered your courage and opened the door. Immediately your eyes fell on Jungkook, who sat down on your bed and looked up at the sound of the door opening. You swallowed when you saw uncertainty in his gaze.

"Hey," you greeted him and carefully closed the door behind you.

"Hi," he replied and managed a brief smile.

Should you sit next to him? Or did he want his space? You didn't know what to do and instead stood helplessly in the middle of the room.

"I wanted to talk to you," Jungkook broke the more than unpleasant silence after a few seconds.

"Okay," you said, stretching the word and playing nervously with your fingers.

"Would you like to sit down? You make me nervous just standing there."

You immediately bridged the few meters to Jungkook and sat down on the bed with him. But you left a little space so you wouldn't get too close to him.

Jungkook sighed and rubbed his hands over his face once before he turned to you and looked at you. "Yoongi told me a few things. As much as I'd like to ignore them, I keep thinking about them and wanted to talk to you about them."

You nodded. You better kept quiet about the fact that you already knew what exactly Yoongi had told him. That would only raise more questions than it would solve problems.

"You know, I've known Yoongi for a few years now and he's always looked after me, in a certain way. And we both know each other for a little more than a week, so I'll just have to ask you."

"I understand that." You really did. You'd do exactly the same thing if you were him. If you were him, you probably wouldn't even give someone like you the chance to explain yourself.

"Are you serious about me, or is this something casual between us?" You avoided his gaze, you had to. You couldn't look into those big brown eyes that demanded an answer. "I know that's hard to say after a week. But please just tell me if you're just using me."

You shook your head. At least one question that you could answer honestly. "No, Jungkook. I don't know where Yoongi got that from, but I would never use you."

Jungkook breathed out audibly. "Okay, then I am relieved. I didn't think you could do it, Liv." He smiled at you and this time it was a little more relaxed.

You had to tell him. You would never forgive yourself if you kept lying to someone as completely good-hearted as Jungkook. You were about to start talking, but Jungkook interrupted you. He probably didn't even realize how much you had struggled with yourself for the last few seconds.

"Taehyung and Jimin were planning a big party tomorrow night. Would you like to come along? I'm not really a party person, I always feel a bit out of place. But I think if we go together, it won't be so bad."

You couldn't.

You looked into his eyes, which looked at you and hoped that you would accept his invitation. And maybe you thought so little of yourself that you felt you deserved that pain and hatred for yourself. And maybe that's why you nodded, smiled, and agreed to Jungkook's invitation.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Yoongi hardly noticed the looks that lay on him, no matter where he went. Even before everything had turned upside down last week, he had mostly ignored the glances. Usually it was girls who adored him and he didn't want to talk to them anyway. But every now and then there was also someone who was not quite so positive towards him. Like you, for example...

When he had approached you in the library, he had been quite surprised by your manner, to be honest. It was a nice change from the amorous looks and nervous stammering he usually had to listen to. He didn't understand why you couldn't be his soulmate. In his opinion you two would be a perfect match.

He bit his tongue. He couldn't have such thoughts. It was unfair to Y/N that he even thought of being with someone else. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling of what was going through him when he had touched you. Not to mention the kiss. In all his years since he had started to take an interest in the opposite sex, he had never felt as he did a few hours ago.

You were incredibly annoying with your attitude towards him, but he inevitably wondered if that was only because you were something he would never have. It was always easier to hate someone than to question the real reason and true feelings.

Frustrated, he pushed open the door to the library. He hated this building and was therefore rarely here. The whole tense atmosphere and the reminder of upcoming exams killed pretty much every bit of creativity he had in his body. But he had no choice but to search for answers here. He didn't know anybody in his immediate environment who had a soulmate and whom he could ask. To be honest, he never expected to get one either.

He always thought that this was reserved for good, kindhearted people. And not people who were like him. He almost felt sorry for his soulmate.

Even though Y/N adored him and almost worshipped him. He had already noticed it last week in the library when she had hardly gotten a word out. Even though things had gotten a little better, Yoongi couldn't ignore that she seemed a little obsessed with him. Was this normal behavior among soulmates? Then why didn't he feel any of it? Why didn't he feel anything in general when he was with her?

And immediately you came back into his mind. Your soft lips, which had pressed against his in a mixture of hesitation and desire. Your hands, which had run gently through his hair– He had to stop. Now.

"Hi," he greeted the librarian, who was sitting behind the counter at the entrance, sipping what was probably her third coffee. He waited to talk until she had placed the cup back on the pile of documents, on which already numerous coffee stains could be seen, and she looked at him from behind her moon-shaped glasses. "I am looking for a book on the subject of soulmates. Do you have anything like that here?"

"A specific book or any book?" she asked in a bored voice and her long fingernails started searching for matching books in her outdated, loudly humming computer.

"Just, any book. Doesn't matter," he replied, nervously chewing on his lower lip. A habit he hadn't fallen back into in a long time. All that was missing was that he chewed his nails again and he would think he was 18 again.

It took a few seconds before the librarian could give him the shelf number. "Shall I write it down for you, or can you remember it like this?"

Yoongi refrained from saying anything spiteful to her undertone and just shook his head.

"Which of the two?" she asked slightly annoyed and Yoongi rolled his eyes inside. So she was a smartass who took every word literally.

"It's all right," he said quickly and walked past the counter towards the shelves where she had sent him. He was relieved that each of the other students was deeply engrossed in their books and notes and that he could walk through the aisles unseen. Especially the aisle where he hoped to find the books on his problem was empty. He took a deep breath as the smell of the old books rose to his nose. Strangely enough, this scent soothed him. He wondered if Y/N felt similar and that was why he felt this way right now. When he was here last time, he was disgusted by it and had hardly wanted to touch the books.

His eyes scanned over the different spines of the book and after a little searching they stopped at a book with the title "Soulmates – Curse or Blessing". He knelt down and skimmed over the books next to it and realized that this was the only book in that category. So all or nothing. Either he found the answers to his questions in this book or not.

He had some trouble pulling the book out because the rest of the shelf was so packed. But with a little skill and patience he managed it anyway. The book was not necessarily a tome, but he was positively surprised that it seemed to have more than a hundred pages. Even if he wouldn't find the answer to his problem, he would at least learn a little more about the subject.

He looked around briefly and then sat down on a bench that stood on the wall at the other end of the aisle. He took a deep breath before he opened the first pages. The book was old, if not outdated, but nothing should have changed over the last decades. Right?

He skimmed the table of contents and after a short search there was only one chapter that might apply to his problem: Pain and complications. He would describe his problem as more or less a complication.

His hands were sweating, which made it difficult to turn the pages. But after some effort he had reached the chapter dealing with all kinds of pain that can occur when you got a soulmate. The chapter began with an illustration of the human body, in which the different areas where pain was felt were noted. The heart seemed to be affected particularly often and he suspected that this had something to do with the tattoo.

He skimmed over the next few pages, which dealt extensively with the pain that occurred when the tattoo was formed. He already knew all this and had it behind him. So far so good. Further it was explained what happened if you had met your soulmate, but could not identify them or they disappeared.

He frowned with concentration as he read the next lines. If soulmates were separated for more than ten days, this could have serious consequences for the health of both individuals. It would be especially complicated if one of the two did not accept their soulmate. Should they be in a relationship with another person–

He turned to the next chapter. That was not what he was looking for. He had spent every day of the last week with Y/N.

Was there nothing about people feeling like they didn't have the right soulmate? Surely there must have been at least one other person in all those centuries who questioned the whole subject, right?

He had to swallow when he read the heading of the next chapter: Death of the soulmate. He hardly dared to read on and therefore only skimmed over the next lines. He concluded from his brief research that this was probably the most painful thing a person ever had to go through. But he had already guessed that. The joy, which had flowed through him, after the first pain from the forming of the tattoo had passed, had been indescribable. The fact that this could be taken away from him, frightened even someone like Min Yoongi.

He turned the page over and stared at the next page where the new chapter was introduced. No, this couldn't be. That couldn't be everything on the subject.

"Shit, thanks for nothing," he murmured and closed the book loudly. He closed his eyes in frustration and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

But suddenly his frustration was replaced by a piercing pain. He grabbed his chest and the book slipped from his lap as he tried to stand up. Should he get help? His tattoo was burning and he could hardly stand on his legs. He pulled himself into an upright position with the help of a shelf, which made the pain a little better. At least he had the feeling that he could get some air again.

Damn it, why did this always happen to him in the library? He knew why he usually avoided that place.

He looked around to see if he could find someone nearby who could help him. But if he had been happy about the emptiness in this section just a few minutes ago, it might have become his undoing now.

He knew that it was not allowed to use any phones in the library. But he cared very little about whether he was thrown out of the building. Especially since no one was around to hear his conversation anyway.

He pressed the first number he saw and held the phone to his ear with clenched hands. It took a few agonizing seconds before the pain suddenly stopped. Then a voice reached his ear. "Yoongi-Hyung?"

Yoongi frowned and touched his head in confusion. Was he imagining the pain? When he listened deep inside himself, he could still feel the dull roar of pain in his bones. And his heart was beating like crazy, so he had trouble getting the words out of his mouth.

"Jungkook," he said in a breathless voice, and he took a deep breath once to deliver oxygen to his lungs and brain. "Sorry, but do you have a minute?"

He heard him clearing his throat on the other end of the line and another voice in the background. Jungkook replied something Yoongi couldn't hear because he suspected Jungkook was covering the speaker of the phone. "Sure, give me a moment." He heard a rustle and a few moments later an "okay" from Jungkook.

Yoongi sighed and slowly let himself fall back onto the bench. He pushed the book aside with the tip of his sneaker. "It's about Y/N. Something is wrong."

"Why is something wrong?"

"Are you at home? I think I need to discuss this in person."

Jungkook paused for a moment before hesitating to answer. Jungkook probably hoped Yoongi hadn't noticed. But those few seconds changed the meaning of the next sentence Jungkook would utter. "I'm with Liv."

Now it was up to Yoongi to remain silent. His heart started to accelerate again when your face came into his head. Your soft hair that reflected the light in such an indescribable way as he had never seen before. And suddenly he realized that he didn't want to talk to Jungkook on the phone. He was not the person who could help him. Only you could do that. He was sure that a hug from you would ease all the pain. Your laughter, which he had seen far too seldom before, would make all his scars fade away, no matter how deep they were.

And the more he thought about it while Jungkook anxiously asked at the other end of the line if Yoongi was still on the phone, the more he became aware. He had fallen in love. Head over heels. And that with someone who wasn't his soulmate.

When he finished the call without another word and stood up, his foot bumped against the book that was still on the floor and which he had already forgotten. Something came into his mind. It probably wouldn't do any good, but looking wouldn't hurt either.

He bent down to pick up the book and opened again the chapter in which he had not found any answers before. His eyes quickly found the subchapter this time, which might be more interesting now. His eyes widened as he read further and further from the chapter he had just interrupted in the middle. And suddenly everything made sense.

[A/N] Unedited 

You didn't actually think that I'd do that to you and Yoongi, did you? I'm not that mean lol.

Also, I'm pretty sure now there are going to be three more chapters for this story! So I would be really happy to know what you guys think of this chapter and the story itself! 

I love to hear your thoughts and I'm happy about every comment! I hope you're staying safe and healthy. See you soon! 💜