Aroma Mocha, a quaint café located off campus, used to be a place Emily had frequented every day. The drinks and pastries they have available are some of the best in town, and the overall atmosphere is amicable and cheerful.

Sitting in the café after being absent for almost half a year was a strange experience, to say the least, for Emily.

Although many months had passed, Aroma Mocha still looked exactly the same: coffee-brown walls, simple white tables and chairs, low lighting, and the same glass display that showcased homemade muffins and giant cookies.

Currently, Emily and Levi were sitting in one of the tables nestled in the back corner. The café was quiet with only two other patrons since it was 7:30 in the morning, an ungodly time for college students to be awake on a Sunday. A cup of black coffee sat untouched in front of Emily, and a half eaten blueberry muffin sat on a plate in front of Levi. They were both quiet as they stared down at the table.

The silence between them broke as Levi let out a sigh. Emily glanced up upon hearing him, only to see him watching her with careful eyes. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but clamped his mouth shut. He repeated this action several times before finding the right words.

"You already know what I want to say. I don't think there's any point in repeating it." He paused before continuing. "Recovery is your choice, Emily. I can't force you to recover, even if I want you to. But I promise I'll be right next to you no matter what you decide."

Emily pursed her lips as she listened. She knew Levi meant every word he had just said. And that just made her feel worse. What had she done to deserve someone like him? Someone who wasn't pushy, who would support her no matter what decision she made, who would be her friend whenever she needed one. She felt bad that he had to deal with someone like her.

"I want to recover. I know that." The confession had Emily's heart pounding. "I'm just scared of how my life will change. How I'm going to change."

"You'll still be the same old Emily after you recover. Just without the eating disorder," Levi said gently.

Emily shook her head, a bitter laugh escaping her as the realization hit her. "That's the problem. I don't know the Emily before my eating disorder. I feel like I'm a completely different person now. My eating disorder feels like my new identity. And if it's taken away..." She let the rest of the sentence trail off, having gotten her point across.

Emily grabbed the cup of coffee with shaky hands and brought it to her lips, drinking the bitter liquid greedily in the hopes that it'll calm her racing pulse. As she did so, Levi took a moment to process her words.

"I was the same," he said quietly after a while. "I thought my depression defined me as a person. Everything else about me was insignificant compared to it. But as I got help, I realized my thinking was wrong. That's the thing about mental illnesses. They warp reality and have you thinking illogically. I can tell you, Emily, that who you used to be before your eating disorder is still there. She may not exactly be the same anymore, but that's life. You grow as a person, and you change as a result of it."

Levi's words ricocheted in Emily's head. They made sense, but the fear still persisted. Anything could go wrong if she opened up about her eating disorder: her parents don't believe her, her eating disorder gets worse, recovery doesn't work for her.

But she wouldn't know without trying.

This thought had Emily's heart beating painfully fast, and the cowardly part of her wanted to back away from this challenge. But this time, she didn't let herself be pushed into a corner.

She was tired of living like this. Counting every calorie that passed her lips like her life depended on it, planning out her meal times meticulously, panicking whenever she went slightly over her calorie limit, never feeling like she was enough no matter how many pounds she shed, and pushing herself to the point of collapsing from exhaustion. She deserved better than this.

Emily breathed in deeply. Yes, she deserved better. She deserved recovery. She deserved it.

"Okay." The word was only a whisper as it passed her lips. Levi looked up at her with a hopeful glint in his eyes. It made her smile.

"Okay. I'm getting help," she said, making her decision official. Now, she couldn't help the grin on her face as Levi mirrored her expression.

"I'm really proud of you, Emily. So damn proud of you," he stated. He opened his arms to her, and she laughed with no constraint for what felt like the first time in a long time as she got up from her seat to fall into Levi's hug.

It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Yes, the future was uncertain. But at least now she knew she wouldn't have to deal with this eating disorder on her own. She had Levi by her side, and hopefully she would have her parents by her side as well.

And that alone made her feel alright with whatever changes might occur.

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Well, I'm thinking this story is going to be done soon! Maybe one or two chapters left (probably one more)