"Have you boys got everything-"

"Yes, Mum," Albus snapped as he rolled his eyes in complete disdain.

The train gave a loud, piercing whistle; steam billowing around us.

"Thank you for having us, Etta," Scorpius beamed, throwing his arms around me.

Startled, I found myself momentarily speechless before I wrapped my own arms around him, squeezing him tight.

"You're welcome, Scorp," I said, feeling my heart glow with an unexpected flood of affection. "You can come and stay anytime you like."

I could sense Draco bristle behind me. No doubt this wasn't in his grand plan of 'releasing' me. I briefly wondered where Albus fitted into all of this. I guessed Draco had decided to let go of forming any kind of future fatherly bond with him.

"Come on," Albus muttered moodily just as Scorpius turned to say goodbye to his father. They exchanged a stiff, awkward hug.

"Well, bye then, Al!" I called as my moody son stormed off towards the train, fed up with being kept waiting. Clearly, he'd forgotten his best friend's words of wisdom about not taking mothers for granted.

My arms felt oddly empty as I watched Scorpius hurry off after him. A bitter lump formed in my throat, saddened that my own son did not want to even hug me goodbye.

"Well, I guess this is it, then," Draco said gruffly after we'd silently watched the train trundle out of view, his eyes not meeting mine.

"Yup, I guess so," I answered, my voice sounding a lot more coolly than I felt.

And, out of fucking nowhere, a horrific ache materialised in my chest and a hot stinging sensation threatened behind my eyes.

"So... are you straight off to work, then?" Draco asked, sounding stiff and awkward.

"Yes, I've got a lot to catch up on after the Christmas break." I found it hard to breathe. I certainly found it difficult to meet his eyes, in fear that mine would start flowing.

But then - almost as though an invisible force was at play - our eyes connected, making my heart pound uncomfortably in my chest.

"It was alright, you know, Potter." Draco murmured, his lips twitching at the corners, "I wasn't expecting much, but..."

"I'll take that as a compliment, coming from you." I tried to smile, but the pain hurt too much.

"You should." His own smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"Well," I said, finding it difficult to swallow, "I'll be seeing you, then."

Draco nodded as his throat gave a prominent bob. "Take care, Potter."

My heart felt as though it was about to break into a million pieces. It hurt so much, but I couldn't seem to stop what was happening.

Too much hurt and heartache had passed between us over the years.

It was never meant to be.

"Goodbye, Draco." I whispered.

And then, I Disapparated.

*****

"Hermione wants to know if you're coming over for your tea tonight?" Ron asked, popping his head round my office door. "She promises it won't be a salad."

I couldn't even be bothered to look up from my paperwork, such was my mood, let alone accept his dinner invitation.

"Nah, I'm alright," I muttered dully. The idea of having to make conversation depressed me. "I just want to go home, open a bottle of wine and listen to wrist slitting music."

"Excellent," Ron replied, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Uh- can I recommend a nice shiraz?"

I glanced up, throwing him a half-hearted smirk just as tears began to sting behind my eyes again. I wanted him to leave. Ron did not deal well with emotion and I could not face his panic.

"Look," he said as he hovered hesitantly in the doorway, looking unsure whether he should leave me alone or not. "I know it's difficult saying goodbye to Albus, but look on the bright side - you've finally got rid of that arrogant, self centred ferret!"

And there came that lump again. I tried to swallow but found that I couldn't. The thought of returning home to an empty house broke my fucking heart.

"Tell Hermione I'm sorry, but perhaps another night, okay?"

Ron frowned, but said no more. Eventually getting the message, he left me alone.

*****

The house was in darkness when I returned home.

Never had it felt so silent and still. I couldn't help but think of Christmas Eve, when I had arrived home to discover Draco and the boys watching Shrek The Halls. I had been so pissed that no one had even bothered to put the kettle on. But what I'd give to have that back.

Sighing, I went through the house, turning on all the lights, trying to make it feel less dark and depressing. I found myself hovering outside the spare room in which Draco had slept. Slowly, I opened the door, my heart racing as though I somehow expected him to still be there.

But, of course, he wasn't. The sight of the made-up bed in the otherwise empty green room caused my heart to give a sad, lonely tug. Shakily removing my wand, I pointed it at the walls, ready to turn them back to their original yellow colour.

But I found I could not bring myself to do it.

Turning away, I left the room untouched, telling myself I had left it green for Scorpius, in case he ever needed to use it one day.

I slowly trudged back downstairs, grabbing a bottle of wine on my way past the kitchen before sinking into the sofa in my sitting room. As I morosely watched the television, not really taking any of it in, I briefly wondered what Draco was doing. Was he sitting alone in that Manor without even a television for company? Or was he in a pub somewhere, staring at the bottom of an empty glass?

I didn't want to think what else he might be doing.

I picked up my phone, feeling it in my hands. The temptation to use it overwhelmed me.

I quickly threw it back down again.

Flicking through the television channels, I found I couldn't settle on anything. Frustration tore at me. I switched it off. But the ensuing silence pressing against my ears made me feel sick with loneliness.

Without thinking, I picked my phone back up, unlocking my screen. I scrolled through my contacts, not stopping until I got to the 'D's. Draco Malfoy. I stared at the name, my thumb hovering longingly over the letters.

But then I recalled the way he had been so insistent on letting me go, practically handing me over to another man. And it hurt. It hurt so fucking much that he did not want to fight for me.

I found myself scrolling back up the 'B's. Blaise Zabini. I swallowed, remembering how his dark slanting eyes had looked hypnotically into mine and the way my body had reacted to him, wanting him.

Draco. Blaise. Draco. Blaise.

An old, familiar past... or a new, exciting beginning?

Making a snap decision, I sent a text.

I jumped as my phone pinged immediately, almost as though the recipient had been waiting. It was so loud and unexpected that I dropped it into my lap. Scrabbling around, I picked it up and opened the message, my heart thudding furiously.

Hey. How's the scar?

Fingers fumbling, I text back.

Still a lightning bolt.

My phone beeped back almost instantly.

Ha ha. You knew what I meant.

My thumb raced across the screen.

It feels fine. Why? What would you do if it weren't?

Beep.

I would be there in an instant.

I paused, and then, heart racing, I replied.

You know, I think it might have just twinged slightly.

Silence.

And then the doorbell rang.

*****