Aberama Gold

"People keep telling me that life goes on, but to me that's the saddest part"                          - Unknown

• Adriana •

"Drinking won't bring her back" I said simply
"What do you want?" Tommy asked
"I need to know where Jimmy McCavern is staying?" I asked
"Why?" He asked
"Because he will die" I said honestly

"They were not the men who killed Aberama, or..."
"Mum? You mean mum, you can say her name Tommy, she isn't cursed" I snapped at him
"Who did kill her?" I asked out of interest

"The IRA" he answered
Why them?
"Why?" I asked

"To take my support away" he said
"With lives?" I asked
"With mums life?" I shouted
"I know" he snapped, banging the desk

"I know. I know it's all my fault!" He shouted
"Yeah! It is. So tell me where Jimmy is" I said
"You can't kill him" he said
"You have no right Tommy! No fucking right" I exploded, smashing his lamp off his desk

"He will die for what he's done, and then the bastard that killed my mother will die" I said
"So tell me where he is. Now" I demanded

He sighed, thinking it over
"He went back to camping in the hills. Near London" he said
I nodded
"But I told you, you can't ki-"

"My mother is dead because of you" I seethed
"You do not get to tell me what I can and can't do. Don't ever contact me again" I snapped, heading for the door:

•

I couldn't believe I was stood here
And I knew that as I was... as I knocked on the door and waited... that word would get back to Tommy
But I didn't care
I had to see him

The door opened
"Michael! Your sister is here" Gina said, looking me over
"Nice to see you too Gina" I said
"I'm sorry... for your loss" she said, gliding across the room
"Drink?" She asked

I shook my head
As Michael appeared
Somewhat tired and dishevelled
"Didn't think I'd see you again" he commented, sitting down

"Our mother died" I said bluntly
Why wouldn't I see him?
"And you told everyone you were done with me" he said
"No. I told everyone I wouldn't support your business proposal. But like I said, our mother died, so there are more pressing matters" I said

Why was he so concerned over this feud still?
He should be concerned about our mum
About the funeral
About how I'm coping.
How my children are.
And he didn't... care

"I know. Believe me I'm... fucking heartbroken" he said, with nothing in his voice
In his eyes
He was a shell.

"I just wanted to talk to you about a few things" I said, keeping my coat on, remaining standing
He gestured for me to proceed
"I'm going to plan the funeral. She'll have a gypsy burial" I said

He slowly nodded
"I want you to come to the house and help me sort through her things" I reeled off
All I could do now was be practical
That's all anyone did when someone died

You sort through it all and get rid of things
Keep things
Throw things away and then regret and cry over it.

And Michael needs to be a part of this
She is his mother too.
"I am also going after Jimmy McCavern" I said
"Anna" He sighed
"He caused all of this" I said

"He is a pawn. And he didn't kill mum" he argued
"No but he is the start" I said
"Tommy is the start" he corrected angrily
"Tommy is the one that needs brining down Anna, not McCavern, not Mosley, not the fucking IRA. Tommy did this. Tommy got her killed" He said

"Years ago you would have backed me on this. You would have helped me take out all of them" I said
Not just the man you're obsessed with hating
"Oh years ago, years ago, this isn't the past. We aren't the past, we're the future. We are what will build the new world. Tommy doesn't belong in it" he said

"Oh my god Michael, do you hear yourself? This isn't about him! Or you! It's about mum" I stressed
"She was a good woman" Gina said casually
"Shut up Gina" I snapped

"Adriana" Michael warned
"You know what, whatever! Do what you want Michael, you always do" I said bitterly, heading for the door
"What I want, I wanted a family. I wanted a proper family and they were all fucked before we ever came back" he shouted after me.

And I ignored him, leaving.

• Bonnie •

"What is that?" Isaiah asked, as we watched the wagon approach from a distance
"It's dad" I said

•

I ghosted my hand over his wrapped up body, I didn't know where to open it
He shouldn't be wrapped up like merchandise
"Stop... stop, I'll do it" Grandma said, stopping my shaking hand

I stood silently and alone as the girls stood around the side of the table, looking on as grandma unwrapped dad from the sheet that Johnny Doggs had brought him back in.

Until a hand found mine. And I looked beside me to see Adriana,
"He looks..." Esmeralda didn't finish her sentence. As Estella looked away, crying out, the only sound in the room

I tightened my grip. And Adriana tightened hers right back
"We will have the funeral in five days. Give everyone a chance to make it here" grandma said
I nodded
Dad deserved a proper goodbye
A dignified one.

• Adriana •

In five days... four camps turned up
For the fleeting visit of attending Aberama's funeral
As well as many individual gypsies coming to pay respects
His sister returned. His mother came.

And she cried in Bonnie's presence before swearing to him that blood will run for her son.

And now. Now we sat in our vardo
On the morning of the funeral. Sad and... unmoving
"Why him?" Bonnie asked sadly, hanging his head
"Because he wouldn't lose" I said simply
Aberama was one of the strongest people I know

The man drove miles to beat Johnny Doggs and throw him before Thomas Shelby in the name of his son.

"And he loved you. All of you" I said, running my hand over his back
He nodded, staring at the floor
"Yeah" he said

Before tears ran down his cheek
"Bon" I said, hugging him to me
He was broken. And I knew how he felt
Losing your parent is... unspeakable
Unthinkable

I feel lost. And alone
I feel like a child again, wanting my mother
Wishing she would hold me and tell me it'll all be alright

I never got that with my mother as a child. And yet I yearned for it
For her
For her attitude and her smile
Her... her love.

•

"You busy?" I asked
"I've really got to get this done" Luke said, as him and a few other boys arranged the sticks around the vardo
"It's just a quick favour" I said

"I need to get this right" he dismissed me
He felt guilty. He felt pain. He felt alone just as much as Bonnie does right now.

"I need you to talk to him" I said
"He won't" he said
"Try" I said, stopping him from doing any more work.
"He doesn't want to talk to me Ari" he said, finally looking at me

"You're his best friend. Aberama meant a lot to you too, just... for all of your sakes, talk to him" I begged
He hesitated, looking past me to the vardo before nodding
"Okay" he said

• Bonnie •

"What?" I said, hearing the knocking
The door opened, and Luke stepped in.
"Get out" I said
"Bonnie" he tried
"I want you to get out" I said, looking at him

"Don't make me knock you out twice" I warned
"I know you're hurting" he said
"You know nothing" I said

"I'm hurting too-"
"No, no! He was not your dad! He was mine! Alright, mine!" I shouted angrily
He dipped his head
"I know" he nodded

"I know. But I cared about him. And I care about you. And I think you need me right now" he said
I looked away from him
I needed him before he slept with my sister!

"We're brothers Bonnie" he said
"No. We're not. You ended that when you got with Adelaide" I said
"I can't choose loving her Bon" he said

"And if you could?" I asked
"What?"
"If you could choose, any one in the entire world" I said

He was silent for a moment
"Then I would choose her every time. I love her" he said
"Anyone in the world... could have been anyone but her" I shook my head

"I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you" he said
"You already did" I said

"Bonnie. We can work this out" he said
"Not today. Today I send my dad off" I said, trying to move past him
But he grabbed my arm

"You can disagree with it. Hate me. Fight me. Anything. But let me help you" he begged
I shook his grip off
"I just... I can't Luke" I said, leaving.

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