I missed you

"Her voice, like cake and vanilla and cherries"
- Eve Babitz

• Bonnie •

"Thought I was dead?" He struggled out
"Yeah" I answered
"Wished it?" He chuckled
"Don't be stupid Luke" I said
"You always call me stupid" he argued, sitting back against the many pillows

Adelaide stepped out, leaving us
"We won then?" He asked
"Yeah. We won" I said
It was silent for a moment
As I struggled for the words and he struggled to say anything at all.

"Did you come in here just to look at me?" He smiled
"Who would want to look at you?" I smiled back

He laughed, immediately coughing afterwards
"Thought I was a goner. I owe Ari and Carlisle a lot of fucking drinks" he joked
"I'm glad. That you're alive" I said

"Takes near death for you to forgive me?" He asked
"I never said I forgive you" I said
He said nothing

"Could you? Eventually?" He then asked
"Yeah" I nodded
"Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean I don't... care" I reluctantly explained

"Awe, you're a soppy bastard Bonnie" he smiled, letting his head rest back.
"And you're a lucky bastard" I said
Always escaping death.

• Adriana •

"So are you two friends again?" I asked confused
"Somewhat in between" he replied
I sat stroking Florence's dark hair out of her face as she slept

"I never understand you two" I shook my head
"You're like children"
"No, he's an idiot" he said casually, pulling his shirt off
I watched him.

Before he turned around
"What?" He asked
"What?" I asked back, looking up at him

"You're staring at me" he said
"You're something to stare at" I said
He eyed me, moving closer as I turned fully to face him
He grasped my jaw in his hand, leaning down.

"Don't tempt me" he said
"Maybe I want to" I teased
He kissed me slowly
"You have another week before we can..."
"I know" I sighed

"Killing you that much?" He laughed quietly
"Oh like it's not killing you" I said, moving over to the other side of the vardo
He wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my neck

"Every fucking day" he mumbled against my skin.

•

It had rained through the night.
It was brisk and cold and just how I imagined mums funeral would be
I pulled my coat on, moving for the car as I waved goodbye to the children for the day

"Give her a good send off" Adelaide said, I nodded
It was a private funeral
Family only.

•

I slowly made my way over to the vardo, placing my flower on the windowsill, before turning to the family
Tommy and Michael stood at separate ends of the group.

• Adriana's Outfit •

"My mother..."
I hadn't prepared what I was going to say. I had wracked my head for days over the words
And nothing sounded right.

"I can't stand here and say she was an upstanding woman. A saint. A good mother, a good aunt. A good woman. But she tried. Till the day she died, she tried to be better, to be the best woman and mother and aunt and... person she could be. To me... she's the best mother in the world" I said, trying to hold back the tears

As Bonnie looked at me the way I had looked at him
With pity
Sympathy
Like he wanted to wrap his arms around me and shield me from it all.

"I know to many here, she was a mother for you all too. And I know I found her late, I know me and Michael didn't get as much of her as you all did but... I am thankful for every second. Every fight and laugh and smile and hug and..."
The tears didn't hold themselves back anymore

"And I miss you... mum. I miss you and I need you. Everyone needs you, all the time, and I know you were sick of it" I said, facing her in the vardo
"I know you were sick of propping everyone else up but... I still need you" I cried
"Anna" Ada said

I cried whole heartedly now. Staring at her lying in there
"And I'll never stop" I whispered.
As Ada came forward to take hold of my arm
"No... no I'm fine" I said, facing the family once more

"She lived as she died. Unapologetic and sad" I said truthfully.
"But she is my mother. A friend, an aunt, a soldier, a... a good soul" I decided.
Her soul was pure. Though the rest of her wasn't.

Everyone came up to place their flowers down for her.
And I stepped up into the vardo with Michael
He placed his hand over hers
"I will make it right mum" he promised.

And I couldn't help but sob at his words before he left
I took my necklace in my hand, the one she gifted me three years ago when I left her for the road
"Gypsy queen... you always did know how to break hearts" I chuckled sadly

"And mine is broken forever now" I said, kissing her forehead

•

The flames grew high, Smokey.
Bonnie's arm around my shoulder, my head against his chest as we all watched on in silence
As Michael stood in front of everyone, staring at the fire.

This will only cause hurt. Death.
I see it. I see it in all of them. A darkness.
A war...

•

"So what's the plan now?" Carlisle asked
"We'll be leaving in two days" Rom said
"Two days? That's a little soon" Bonnie said
None of us wanted to lose Estella yet

"Needs must Bonnie. The Billy boys will come baying for blood. We need to split up, get moving around" he said
He was right. It didn't make it any easier though

Bonnie slowly nodded
"And you?" He asked Carlisle
"We can stick around a while longer, but Rom's right, we'll need to move soon" he advised

"I'm guessing you're going after the IRA?" Kalei asked
"We're going after two men. One with a knife and the other a gun. Not the entire organisation" I said

There's no doubt Tommy was already forming a plan to take down whoever ordered their hits
Me and Bonnie wanted the men who carried them out.

"And how are you going to find them?" Wilder asked
"By appealing to death himself" I said, eyeing Bonnie

•

"I thought you were done with me? Dead to you" Tommy said as me and Bonnie entered his house office
"You said you know who ordered mum and Aberama's killings" I said, sitting down
"I do" he nodded

"How?" Bonnie asked
"Because she rang me to tell me she had removed my crutch" he said simply
"Crutch?" I asked, my heart shattering that little bit more

She died just to send Tommy a message?
"What do you want Adriana?" He asked, clearly confused
"You know what I want. I want to kill the man who shot her" I said

"And you know I'm already going after the le-,"
"No, I want the man who pulled the trigger" I said
"I want the man who stabbed my dad" Bonnie said
"You want to come back and work with me? After everything?" Tommy asked, tilting his head

He though we were playing some kind of game
"Death is justifiable to the right cause. And this is" I said

"Fine. Then let's reactivate the deal. Bonnie, you fight, in two weeks. Adriana, you come back as an enforcer like I proposed" he said
"Fine" I agreed
"So easily?" He asked

"Our anger is more than dancing to your tune for a while" Bonnie said, standing up.
"You need to hold up your own end though Tommy. We need names" I said

He nodded
"Names" he confirmed.
I nodded
"Good" I said, also standing up

"I'm guessing you and Michael are done" he said
"Why would you guess that?" I asked confused
"You come here asking for my help. And now he's gone, I just assu-"
"Gone?" I asked

"He boarded the boat back to Boston today" he said
"What?" I asked

He left? Without saying anything...
"I'm sorry, I thought you knew" he said
I walked out.

"Baby... baby" Bonnie stopped me outside
He saw my face, he saw the hurt.
And he kissed it away on my forehead, pulling me into his arms
Into safety

Into one of the only people who makes me feel safe.
"Why would he just leave?" I asked sadly
"I don't know..." he mumbled.

• Bonnie •

Adriana cried when we got back
She'd cried all night in despair over Michael
The fucking idiot, what is he thinking? Leaving her like that without a word?

And yet... when the time came for my sister to leave.
I had no words either
And part of me understood that maybe no goodbye at all was better than this
Than the pain in my chest watching my youngest sister leave us.

Pregnant and married and... not a Gold anymore
"I'll be fine. Always have been" she brushed off
"But if you're not, call. We'll come and get you straight away. No matter what" Esmeralda promised, making her nod her head reluctantly

When she got to me, I tried to hold it together
We'd all lost so much and I felt like I was losing her too.

"Don't forget me alright?" She said casually
I pulled her into me, taking her by surprise as she slowly wrapped her arms around me too.
"Don't put up with anything, hm?" I said, making her look at me
"Nothing. One wrong move and you come home. And I'll knock the bastard out" I promised her

She smiled
"You've never been protective Bon" she said
"Never had a reason to. Now... now I want to knock his teeth out and tell you stay" I said

"But you won't" she said
"No. I won't..." I agreed
Because she's strong
She always has been.

And now. She's a Fury.

•

Four days. Since Estella left. Since we agreed to help Tommy in exchange for the men who were due to die at our hands
Since Adriana threw herself into the camp in dads absence

Esmeralda and us. We were all the camp had now. To lead them.
And we needed to do it right.

I trailed down the hill, through the trees, to find Adriana
Everyone was back up the hill drinking, dancing, celebrating the lives we had. Celebrating dad and Polly and what would have been

And our victory against the Billy boys
I found her, bathing in the lake.
"Princess" I called
She turned to me, swimming back to the edge
"Join me" she said

I looked around. As the sun lowered
"We should-"
"Come on..." she enticed
I looked her over. Who could ever say no to her?

I undressed, getting in the water with her
And she wrapped her legs around me, her naked body pressing against mine and stirring certain... feelings I had suppressed for weeks as we both recovered

"Bon" she whispered against my lips, before kissing me softly
I wrapped my hand in her wet hair, kissing her back
As she slowly pressed tighter against me
"I need you" she said

Fuck.
"I need you now" she moaned
I was hard. Fucking hard as she wrapped her hand around me and stroked me, before positioning me right where we both needed

And I slowly pushed inside her
As she gasped. As my chest fucking exploded with the feeling we had both been absent from for the past few months

"Ah... I missed you Bonnie Gold" she smiled against me, her perfect soft lips moving against mine
"And I fucking missed you" I mumbled, kissing down her neck.

Now there'll be a little break before I release the next part. Heading into series 6 and the final storyline! But I hoped you enjoyed series 5. I would love to know what you thought!

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