Last and final chapter (:

You ready?

Just a friendly reminder: I've entered HS into the Wattys2016, so I would really, really, REALLY appreciate any support, whether it be voting or commenting!

- - - - -

"Alice," Sam gasped.

Alice offered her a soft smile and got up from her chair in the office.

Sam moved forward and quickly pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry."

She could feel Alice shaking her head.

"No. It's my fault you couldn't find me. I . . . ," Alice trailed off.

"You what, Alice?" Sam questioned, pulling back slightly.

"I didn't want to leave just then," Alice admitted softly.

"Why?"

Sam was confused, to say the least.

Alice moved away and sat back on her seat.

Sam glanced up from Alice to look at Chief Cross.

He shrugged. "I'll leave. You two can talk."

Just before he left, Sam asked quietly, "Why didn't you tell me you found her sooner?"

When Chief saved Sam that night, the first thing Sam requested was that Alice be found.

They had made an agreement during the weeks that Alice was helping Sam. Alice would help Sam escape, and Sam would come back for Alice and save her, too.

But on that night, Sam couldn't find Alice anywhere.

"We didn't find her. She found us," he replied before leaving.

Sam furrowed her eyebrows.

What?

She turned back to face Alice and took a seat opposite of her.

After a moment of silence, Alice sighed.

"There's something I have to tell you."

Sam looked up warily.

"Yeah?"

Alice let out a long breath. "I'll just cut to the chase."

Not beating around the bush, she said, "Candice is my mother."

One beat passed. Two.

"What?"

Alice looked her straight in the eye. "Candice is my mother."

Sam's mind reeled.

"How?" She whispered after a second of hesitation.

She looked at Alice carefully.

She remembered that the first time they met, she thought that she looked really familiar. Now she knew why.

Studying Alice closely, Sam saw the similarities.

The wavy blonde hair, the small petite figure, the short height.

Everything looked so much like Candice, unlike Samantha who only had the same eyes as her.

But . . . Alice's eyes were brown.

"I have my father's eyes," she heard Alice say, as if in response to Sam's thoughts.

"What about . . . me? Who am I then?"

"You're my sister, Samantha," Alice said bluntly.

"I don't understand. How do you know all of this?"

Alice took a deep breath.

"I grew up in the village. With all those men. Candice only came along June last year," Alice paused, then carried on. "The men treated me the same as they always did. Roughly, like a slave. I always thought I was just an abandoned child who appeared in the village, because how else had the men found me?

"But when Candice came . . . ,"Alice trailed off. "When Candice came, she -- she told me everything.

Samantha held her breath. Just when she thought her drama was all over, another pile of it came along.

"Candice had me with another man in prison, and when she gave birth to me, she requested -- using her one wish that she was granted -- that I be sent here. I was raised by these men for so many years."

Alice looked at Sam carefully, studying her expression.

"She told me about you last year. You may not believe this, but Candice loved you. She still does, wherever she is."

Sam shook her head defiantly. "You're right. I don't believe you."

Alice so her head slowly. "She was a good mother, Samantha, and she was a good person. Her only imperfection was that she lost her mind. She fell in love at a young age, with the wrong person. He made her the monster that she became. The person you know isn't who she used to be. Even her own family didn't bother to know her properly which is why the only memories you have of her are bad.

"When he left her, she lost her mind. She had no one to turn to. All her family left her. All her so-called friends were his friends. You were the only connection she had, so she placed the blame on you. That's what love does. It blinds you."

Samantha found herself slowly believing what Alice was saying. It only made sense.

"I saw the emotion behind her eyes every time she saw you or spoke about you. She looked after you in the only way she knew how to, and she loved you with everything in her. It may have been a twisted love, but it was still there," Alice said slowly.

"Then why did she kill herself? Why did she want me dead?"

Alice sighed. "She told me, before she threw herself off the cliff, that she wasn't good enough for you. She wasn't the mother you needed. She said that Anne is. She had nothing left, besides me. But it wasn't me she wanted, it was you."

Sam felt a tear drop down her cheek. Her vision blurred.

It was difficult to absorb so much at once. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. And from a ten year old, too.

She's much too old and wise for her age.

"Why would she think that?"

"You said it yourself, Samantha. Many times after you met her."

Sam felt a weight on her shoulders. It dragged her down.

You will never be my mother. Not through anything, but blood.

You will never be my mother.

Her words echoed in her head. Over and over again.

They were hurtful words, she realised, and caused damage so terrible that they couldn't be repaired. The careless words she threw around led Candice to her death.

She killed herself because of me.

"But . . . why me? Why not you? Why couldn't she have stayed for you?"

"Because you're a part of him. You remind her of him. You haven't noticed it, Samantha, but the only thing you have in common with her is your eyes. The rest of you is him."

Slowly, Sam's mind comprehended everything Alice said.

Tears ran down her face. She didn't know why she was crying -- she didn't want to feel anything for Candice --, but she was. And she couldn't stop the flowing tears.

"I . . . ," Sam couldn't say anything.

Her throat was burning, hurting. Her lungs felt like they were constricting.

She hurriedly rubbed at her cheeks.

Alice got up and tried her best to comfort her.

My sister, Alice thought.

It didn't matter that they were half-sisters, all that mattered was that they were still family and that they had each other. They still shared the same mother.

"She left many notes for you," Alice murmured.

She moved away from Sam and pulled out one neatly folded letter from her pocket.

"She always wrote you letters. Even in prison. She begged for forgiveness. She told you how much she loves you. She spoke of your father. She spoke of you. And . . . and she spoke of me."

"Where are the other letters?"

"She never had the courage to give them to you. And in the end, she put them all into a box and packed it away. But I want you to see them, so I found it and brought it here for you."

Alice pulled out a box from underneath the table and handed it to her.

"Alice."

Alice looked up and smiled.

"Thank you. I . . . I wish she was here so that I could tell her in person that I forgive her."

Alice's eyes widened. "You forgive her?"

Sam nodded. "I do."

Alice was at a loss for words.

"Where are you staying?" Sam asked her.

"I don't have a home."

Sam smiled. "Then live with me?"

Alice splutted. "What?"

"I'll tell my Aunt and Uncle. They'll say yes, I know they will."

"But . . . why?"

"You're my sister, Alice. You're family."

Alice didn't say anything. She couldn't.

A family? That's something I've never had before, Alice thought.

"Who taught you to speak properly, Alice?"

"Candice," Alice smiled. "She herself spoke really good English, so she taught me when she came out of prison."

Sam's heart warmed and a smile found its way onto her lips.

She balanced the box in one hand and gently took the letter out of Alice's hand.

"Which letter is this?"

She saw Alice swallow. "It's the last letter she wrote you."

"Come on, Alice. We're going home," Samantha said.

She put the letter on top of the box and took Alice's hand and led her out of the office.

Chief was standing at the reception desk, and walked up to them.

"Chief, we're going home."

"We're?" He raised both eyebrows, deciding not to comment on her tear streaked face.

Sam nodded.

"If there's anything else, just call."

Chief looked lost for a moment, then shook his head as if clearing his thoughts.

"Okay, m'girl."

Sam nodded, then walked out of the station.

"Are you sure they'll accept me?" Sam could sense her nervousness.

"Positive."

They walked quickly to the house, and Sam let go of Alice's hand to open the door with her keys.

Ian and Anne looked like they were in the middle of an argument with Jeff and Megs.

When Sam stepped into the lounge, however, their heads all turned towards her.

"Sam, how'd it --" Ian cut himself off when he noticed Alice at her side.

He introduced himself, "Hello, I'm Ian."

Alice hid behind Sam, feeling shy.

She wasn't used to this. She's never been treated kindly, or met new people. This was a whole different life for her.

Anne came forward slowly, trying not to scare Alice further.

"Hi," she said softly. "What's your name?"

Jeff, Megs, and Ian watched from their places, not daring to move.

Anne had that comforting aura around her that invited people in, made them feel welcome.

That's why, Sam guessed, Alice answered her.

"Alice."

"It's nice to meet you, Alice. My name's Anne," Anne offered her a warm smile.

She straightened to her normal height and gave Sam a look.

Sam took a deep breath.

"Guys, this is Alice. Alice has been living with those men in that village since the time she was born," Sam started off.

Alice shied away again. Sam rubber her back, trying to offer her support.

"And today, I learned that she's related to me."

Anne cocked an eyebrow. Ian bit his cheek.

Sam looked down at Alice and said, "Candice is her mother, too."

There was a collective gasp around the room.

"Oh, God," Anne murmured.

She crouched down to Alice's level and drew her in for a hug, taking Alice by surprise.

"Who are you living with?"

Sam coughed, drawing their attention back to her. She rubbed the back of her back.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk about."

There was a pause.

"She doesn't have a home, and since she's my sister, I thought she could live with us."

Anne looked at Ian for confirmation, and at his nod, a smile split across her lips.

"Of course she can!"

"Really?" Alice asked, surprised.

Anne nodded. "I'd love it if you live with us."

She threw a look over her shoulder, and Ian, Jeff and Megs agreed.

Anne took Alice's hands and led her to the couch, sitting down. Everyone else joined them.

Catching Alice's eye, Sam asked her, using her eyes, if she was okay alone.

Alice gave her a smile and a nod, and Sam went upstairs, hearing them already starting up a conversation.

She closed her door and placed the box on her bed.

After a moment, she made up her mind and opened the box, turning it over to let the letters fall out.

She picked one from the lot --not bothering with the order in which she's supposed to read them -- on her bed and looked down at the neatly folded letter.

It had no writing on top. Sam opened the letter with great care and started reading Candice's cursive handwriting.

Samantha,

I know this is the first time you remember meeting me in person, but it isn't my first time. I also know that you regret it. You wish you'd never met me, and you hate me. I can't blame you for that, I'm not a good mother, or a good person. I've learned to accept that over the years. I really wish I was --

Sam felt tears well in her eyes, blurring her vision, so she stopped reading and opened another letter.

Samantha,

I wish I hadn't been so blind all those years ago. I wish I never killed him either. Who knows, maybe we could've been good parents? But even though he's my first and last love, I regret falling in love with him. I regret it so much. But do you know what I regret the most? Giving you up. I --

She found herself opening another letter

Samantha,

I hope you find out soon that sweet Alice is your sister. Sweet Alice is the only thing I've done properly in my life. She's the only thing that isn't a mistake I've made, that I don't regret. And she's a wonderful person, just like you.

Sam smiled through her tears, deciding not to read further, and picked out another letter.
Samantha,

I hope, one day, you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. I don't deserve it, I know I don't. But if I could go back and redo my life, I would start with not falling in love with him. I would've had you with a better man, and brought you up properly. I would've been a good mother. I would've tried really hard to do my best. I don't even know why I write these letters. It's not like you'll ever read them. I don't want you to. But I do. Do you understand? I'm talking to myself. God, I feel like such an idiot, but it makes me feel good --

The discarded letters were starting to build up, and she promised herself to read them properly when she was strong enough.

Samantha,

I remember holding you close for the first time. I was at home, and he wasn't there. He was already gone. I remember thinking that you were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But then I saw a picture of him, and the anger overtook those feelings. I wish I'd never given you up.

Samantha shook her head. She wished she could take away all of her suffering. All of her regrets. She wished Candice would've just spoken to her instead.

Samantha,

What Anne and I told you was partly the truth. When I got out of prison, I tracked you down as soon as I could so that I could ask you for another chance. And then I saw you for the first time in so many years. You were sitting on a log in that forest that you're always going to, and taking pictures. And then I realised that I was being foolish. What reason have I given you to forgive me? To take me back? So I left.

"Why did you leave?" Sam choked out.

Samantha,

I visited you every day. I saw you with . . . with Anne. And Ian. I saw you with your friends, Cross, everyone. I didn't want to ruin the life you'd built for yourself, and so I left you alone. But then I did something I regret greatly . . . I got jealous one day when I saw you with that boy. Cross' boy, Lucas. I thought of him. But I held my jealousy in. And then I followed you home and saw you laughing with Anne and Ian. And that's when the jealousy took over. I started becoming the tyrant he made me. I became that monster again. God, how I wish I didn't.
Sam stopped reading. Jealousy meant that Candice cared. Candice cared for her.

Samantha,

I'm so sorry, Samantha. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for abusing you. Oh, God. I'm sorry for wanting to kill you, for abandoning you. I'm sorry for leaving time and time again. I'm sorry for killing Sally, your friend. I gave flowers to her mother, but it won't bring her daughter back or take her pain away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting Drake. He's a good kid. I'm sorry for hurting Carter. I was jealous of the close relationship you have with him. You care for him, and not for me. It hurt me. I had no right to be hurt, but I was. I'm sorry. But above all, I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. And treating you like dirt. I'm so sorry, Samantha.

"She remembered -- she knew -- all of their names."

Samantha stopped reading. She simply couldn't go on. Every letter she read, every word she read, stabbed her in the heart.

She shut her eyes tight.

The tears were falling uncontrollably after that last letter, and a sob tore from her chest.

She clutched at her heart, feeling a jolt of pain shoot through it.

Feeling drained from everything, Sam removed her glasses and fell back on the bed, pulling a blanket over herself.

She couldn't sleep, however, so she got back out and went to the bathroom to wash her tear stained face.

When she came out, she took the few pictures she had in memory of her mother -- yes, not Candice, her mother -- and stuck them on the wall.

She placed her camera on her table. Next to the drawing she made of the anchor. She moved the box onto her table and sorted it out according to the dates, including the ones she didn't read completely.

She padded downstairs when she felt a little better.

She saw everyone sitting at the kitchen table, eating.

She smiled when she saw the big smile on Alice's face. It warmed her heart.

She felt lighter, in a way.

She forgave her mother and, as weird as it sounds, she felt herself grow to love her.

After all, her intentions were good. Maybe not from the very beginning, but the letters made it clear that she loved Sam and regretted everything. Everything besides Alice.

Feeling a different kind of happiness, a smile found its way on her lips and her face glowed. She walked into the kitchen and gave everyone a smile.

This was her new life now.

She no longer has two cousins, an Aunt and Uncle. She has two sisters and one brother, two mother's and one father.

And not forgetting her amazing group of friends.

This, Sam thought, is more than I could ever ask for.

- - - - -

WHOA. I did not see that coming. My fingers have a mind of their own. Okay that's rude, wait . . .

Hi, everyone! How are you? Seriously asking, how are you?

Now just read that first sentence XD

It just seemed right to end the book here. It feels like everyone deserved what they got. Yes? No? Maybe?

Oh, well.

Tbh, that last letter got me emotional, too. So make me feel good and tell me you cried, too. Okay?

I know this is the end of the book, but honestly, it isn't the end. Sam still has her whole life ahead of her.

So . . . any questions? Ask away.

Thank y'all SO, SO much for reading. I really appreciate it. I mean it.

Don't forget to vote comment and share the story! It'll make me unexplainably happy :)

Follow me on social media:
Instagram: crocodiletears__
Twitter: crocodileears__
(I typed it
incorrectly and
can't fix now :/)

Peace,

Croc

PUBLISHED: 17 / 09 / 2016