{okay...I cried a tad bit writing this-- also might of got some things wrong, also may be hinting at a part 2 ? Despites how I'm feeling,this was meant to be short-- it became longer than I thought  ,hope y'all enjoy ,the angst-- y'all thought I'd do fluff for ever...hah no!

Warning: ANGST!! BLOOD !! Mentions of abuse/torture, Mentions of Evo and YHS , unrequited love ! No happy ending, hanahaki

Songfic!!
Song: you are my sunshine

Ship:  unrequited GriDoc
Requited Bdoc }

Grian smiles gently to himself, thoughts and memories rushing through his mind, one of the first memories that came to him , is when he first time he met his best friend , Taurtis ,he was much more shyer back  then, less social, but Taurtis didn't really seem to care, he remembers he was playing in the sand alone, when this tallish black haired boy had approached him, at first he was afraid of the older, scared he was going to bully him but instead , the older introduced himself, and asked if he could join him in the sand, and of course Grian said yes, and after that day, the two could never be separated, no matter what, Grian was just happy to have a friend.

The other night dear, as i lay sleeping
I dreamed i held you in my arms
But when i awoke, dear, i was mistaken
So i hung my head and i cried

The second memory that came rushing through, made Grian’s smile instantly drop, eyes glazing over slight , he remembers when him and Taurtis got transferred to Yandere highschool, thats were the two best friends first met Sam, yandere highschool wasn’t all bad at first, they all did have some good times, but he still can't forget the tourture he went through  at that school, how yuki had tainted there other friends, how Sam had hurt Taurtis and how the rabbit became more insane, and made Grian dress like his best friend, and if he didn’t, he would tourture Grian, after awhile Grian couldn't stand the abuse from his former best friend, couldn’t stand how depressed and scared Sam made him feel, the things he did to him, and finally  he stood up to Sam.
Grian still remembers the feeling of the blade piercing his chest, and remembers the insane look in Sam’s eyes, and then darkness invaded his vision.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

After Yandere highschool, Grian remembers waking up in this new world, alone, he remembers feeling disoriented, and an unbearable sharp pain in his chest, but he wasn't alone, he met these new people, new friends, they named this world Evo.
In Evo Grian had become more happier, free to be who he wanted to be, all the pranks him and his friends pulled but yet he couldn't help but feel like something was missing, and that someone was his best friend, without Taurtis, Grian felt as if a piece of him was missing, he realized his feeling for his best friend, and he wished he had told him, but it was to late.
Grian had made a summoning platform for his former best friend, he planted a flower each day, it was a way for him to grieve his best friend, he remembers the looks his other friends would give him, he knew they thought he was going slightly insane, but they didn't say anything, they knew this was his way of grieving.

One day as Grian was going to the summoning  platform, he hears a somewhat muffled voice under the dirt, a familiar voice, being the curious person he was, he dug out the dirt and what he saw socked him, he couldn't believe it...he was back, his best friend was back!
Grian overwhelmed with emotions hugged his best friend tightly, crying into Taurtis shirt, Taurtis comforted, whispering sweet nothings in that day, he remembers looking into Taurtis eyes, seeing nothing but love and happiness, he couldn't help but lay a kiss upon his best friends lips, his heart had fluttered when Taurtis returned the kiss, and after that things got a lot better on Evo, Evo brought him nothing but happiness and Love their.
But that all changed when the watchers came, and took him away from Evo, from his friends and lover, they destroyed Evo, made him watch, he remembered hearing his friends call out for him, not knowing he was already gone.
After the watchers destroyed Evo, they realised Grian would no longer help them, so they abandoned him in the void.
One thing he hated about the void, was the ringing in his ears, how unbearable it was and also how lonely he was .

I’ve always loved you and made you happy
And nothing else could come between
But now you've left me to love another
You have shattered all of  my dreams

When Grian had arrived at Hermitcraft, he was more secluded and nervous, at first, the only one who knew the reason was Xisuma, being the admin and the one who saved him from the void, he was the only one who Grian could trust at the time.
But not long after, he made friends with a phew more hermits, Mumbo and Iskall being the two he became more close with, the three even made a business together, he slowly started to become happy, his trama was still their, but it was more bearable with his new friends, his family.
In hermitcraft, is were he also met Doc, an intimidating, robotic, creeper hybrid, and Grian was smitten with him, what angered Grian, he promised himself , he wouldn't catch feelings for anyone again, after losing his first lover, he couldn't bare the pain of losing his lover, he doesn't even know , when he first started gaining feelings for the creeper hybrid, after all, during the first season, the two was always against each other, the war...the hippies and  demise, but yet  he couldn't help but fall for him, he knew Doc at first didn't trust him, what Grian couldn't blame him, he came out of nowhere, and for all Doc knew he could be some evil person, trying to hurt the hermits, but after awhile, he managed to gain Doc’s eventually, after the civil war, the two decided to talk, one on one, and that's how the two became close, and he guesses that was the moment he started developing feelings for Doc.

When they all traveled to the next season, it was more calmer… or well calmer than the first season, during this season Grian grew more closer with his new neighbour Scar, they became a great team during Head games, and he trusted Scar with his deepest secrets...even told him of his feelings for Doc, Scar tried to encourage him to tell Doc, but Grian was too scared to.
During the mayoral race Scar and Grian became more distance, after all Grian was Mumbo’s campaign manager, and well Scar was also running as mayor, but after Scar eventually became mayor, the two went back to each other as if nothing happened, heck even pranking Scar with Bdubs in the upside down, all three of them became the closests friends, and one day when the three was chilling out in the upside down, Bdubs excitedly told the two, that his own crush returned his feelings, both were happy for Bdubs, that was intel Bdubs told them who it was, he remembers how his heart broke, finding out it was Doc, Grian had to excuse himself, he quickly left the nether and went to his hobbit hole in the over world.

And that's what led to now, he was laying against the wall in his bathroom, his eyes were glazed overs with unshed tears, there is slight blood in the corner of his mouth and over and all over layed bloodied Dahlia, despite how beautiful they were, also turned out they were deadly, ever since he realized Doc would never love him back,  he had been coughing up these flowers, at first it was just petelas, but then after some time it became full on flowers, at first it was painful, but he's gotten used to the pain, after everything hes been through, coughing up flowers are nothing, but still he can’t help but feel, his heart shatter and ache, at the thought of bdubs and Doc together.

Grian lets out a chuckle, wheezing slightly, as he feels his eyelids grow heavy, he knows its his time to go, he's done this before, he slightly hopes to himself, he doesn't respawn this time, he doubts he will, after all un curable disease like this, is pretty much perma death, well its curable, he just doesn't want to forget about his love for Doc, he supposes for now all he has is his memories, of the past and present.

Before Grain drifts off into his endless sleep, he could faintly hear, rushed footsteps coming his way, he also heard someone calling his name and he felt a gentle hands upon his shoulder shaking him, didn't they realize it was too late, with one final smile, Grian drifts off , darkness surrounding him, after all he's been through, he can finally rest, finally be at peace, finally be left with his happy memories.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away