Lost in the misery of her own agonizing thoughts, Esmerelda stumbled over her own feet. Fearing the pandemonium she was in, she didn't notice the brilliance of her surroundings. A seagull with white plumage swooped down and landed with a self-confident poise a few feet in front of her. Scavenging for something to eat with it's slightly hooked yellow beak, he plucked up a worm and took his leave by pushing off with his elongated legs and webbed feet.

Watching the methodical motion of the waves retreat and rise, a creased roll, rolled over everything in it's path, consuming it. The same way the chaos that she found herself in at this very moment in her life, consumed her. Feeling a hopelessness uproot itself from her stomach, she started running again.

Her heart beat frantically not knowing if it's because of exertion or fear. Fear of guilt, sadness... and being find out. Her breath came in small spurts, rapid and nervous. Curling her fingers into sweaty fists, swinging her arms quickly forcing herself to run faster.

Esmerelda inhaled deeper and faster, her throat and lungs burning as she pushed herself harder and harder. Panic and pure horror trembled in her exhausted limbs sending blood to her muscles. Feeling the nausea overtake her fear she doubled over and fell to her knees. The cramping in her stomach takes twisted delight in her fear, pouring out everything she had to eat for the last two days.

Tears streaming down a red flushed face, she sits on her knees sobbing into her hands. Slowly becoming aware of an ambient symphony of sounds singing in her ears; huge waves crashed on the rocks, seagulls squawking and the industrial harbor in the background. She recognized the harmony and peace she longed for so much.

Full cognizance of her deliverance, she knew what she had to do. Confess...

Pushing up from her disconsolate position, something glistened in the retreating waves. A bottle protruded from the white foam. On closer inspection she saw a rolled up parchment inside.

She took a seat on a mound of warm white sand. A light breeze stroked her face and brushed loose strands of her against her skin. Hearing the cries of the seagulls in the distance and the echoes of the waves beating against the shore, made her feel more and more relaxed.

The sun began to sink into the horizon, leaving the sky in an array of colors; red.. orange... yellow... Feeling soothed by the tranquility of the spectacle in front of her, she pulled out the cork of the bottle and spilled the note into her hand,

My dearest friend

I have a confession to make. I have to do this because my guilt is consuming every part of my life. Never have I told anyone about this inner turmoil of mine. Please don't judge me. I have done what I have done, out of love.

I have killed my best friend.

Yes, I'm sure you must be utterly shocked to your core. You must think I'm a monster. I know it's not fair asking you to carry this burden with me. I had to get this off my chest. Living with this awful truth alone was devouring my whole existence.

I caught my wife in bed with my best friend, making passionate love to her. I came home earlier than expected from business out of town, when I found them. I had to take revenge. I waited for him in an ally behind his house, where I knew he would pass. Hiding behind a trash can I struck him with a brick when he passed me. When he fell to the ground, I bludgeoned him, but stopped, because I did not want him to die. Yet... I wanted him to know who did this to him. I wanted him to see who did this to him. I wanted him to know why I did this to him.

I still remember his eyes when he recognized me. The word 'WHY' died on his lips when he saw the hunters knife he gave me for Christmas the previous year, glistening in my hand. Admission of guilt flashed in his eyes, but it was too late. He tried to struggle but with a swift movement I sliced his throat. Hatred encouraged me. A single tear spilled from his eye when I stepped away from his lifeless body.

Please forgive me. Please forgive me for laying this burden on someone as innocent as you.

Always your friend
Peter
Oct, 1914

The symphony of sound returned to her ears. Tears, once again, streamed down her face. Removing her backpack from her back, she took out a pen. With shivering hands she turned the parchment around and started writing her confession,

My dearest Peter

I forgive you, because, I too, have a confession to make. Please forgive me for laying my burden on your shoulders.

I slept with my best friend on the eve of my wedding.

I decided to marry someone without being entirely sure that he is really the right person for me. You see, we have a mutual friend... The man I slept with, introduced us to each other.

I felt attracted to him, and felt that it's time for me to get married, when he asked me to. He was clearly willing to make a lifelong commitment to me. Still, though I couldn't quite put my finger on it, I couldn't get rid of nagging feelings that I maybe shouldn't go through with the wedding.

After I committed adultery I felt ashamed. I have betrayed someone that loves me unconditionally. My friend moved away a week later. But that didn't sooth my guilt.

Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to confess my sins. We will no longer speak of this again.

Always your friend
Esmerelda
Aug, 2016

She let herself drift for a moment, becoming aware that she felt restored. Feeling strong, healthy, full of energy, and... happy again

She walked further along the shore, playing with the bottle in her hand that held her confession. She gazed out at the sea, staring at the rhythmic motion of the waves and tossed the bottle as far as she could into the sea.

*****

@Caitlin_67