After I lost you, who was my everything
My feelings created this fantasy

-lost in the dream

Im Changkyun

"Where were you yesterday?" I asked as I took a sit on the couch. Minjae rolled his eyes, still half lying on the other sofa.

"Nowhere."

"Yeah? But you and Kihyun disappeared at the same time," I stated, a smirk slowly starting to spread across my face. "I'm sure you guys did something, went somewhere togeth-"

"Shut it!" Minjae screeched sprinting up from her lying position. "You're dead wrong!"

"Eh really? Tell me the truth, come on! Amuse me a little." I teased making a frown appear on her face. But she stayed silent.

"You did!" I clapped my hands realizing that something indeed was going on between them. "Whatever you do though fam, always use protection."

"Oh my god!" She screamed and started throwing cushions at me.

"What? I just gave a friendly advice!" I tried blocking all the hits but one cushion did hit me on the face. "Where did you guys go? Are you like dating now?"

Minjae's face became redder, her mouth slightly parted, forming an o. Then she started screaming and groaning, twisting the upper half of her body as she held both her ears so she wouldn't hear me anymore. It felt like a demon had possessed her, probably too much embarrassment could do that to you.

"You're going to wake everyone up like that."

"I'm not hearing you. Blah blah blah." She started rambling words like a baby.

"Argh, okay I won't ask anymore. But have you told him the truth?"

"What truth?" Jooheon yawned taking steps inside the living room approaching us sheepishly. "Why are you guys like screaming at eight in the morning?"

"Just because," Minjae and I quickly replied in unison.

"Minjae, weren't we just talking about watering the plants together? Let's do it now," I suggested hurriedly raising up from the couch. Minjae did the same without another word.

"When did you start liking watering plants?" Jooheon stretched out his arms, his body lazily resting against the sofa.

"You know how much I love plants." I shrugged it off, I could see his eyes shutting off for being sleepy again.

Minjae and I quietly left the room and went outside without waking him up. "He has the worst timings," I retorted before I got back to what I was saying back there. "So, have you told him?"

Minjae looked uncomfortable, she slowly rubbed her arm with her other hand staring ahead. "I mean, I tried."

"You haven't tried enough." Just one look at her and I could tell that she hadn't. But I can also feel how hard it was for her.

Apparently lying or hiding something doesn't always seem bad. You do it for your own good, you do it again, and again. And you get caught in the spider web. That's when it becomes the hardest to get out. Because you're trapped, including everyone around you.

"He said he hates liars." She looked into my eyes, hers looked lost and hopeless. I could see how her own lies had been suffering her.

Even though when I saw her earlier today she looked fine but now I could tell it was all a facade. She probably didn't sleep all night and kept thinking about it.

A small sigh escaped my mouth, I thought I wouldn't be affected much for whatever would happen in their relationship but now I felt a little worried.

"If you're thinking that you're suffering inside can you even feel how much Kihyun is suffering? He's probably stressed out but acting all fine outside. He thinks he is gay, it was surely hard for him to come out."

I couldn't imagine how he felt, he must had been in so much difficulties when he started developing feelings for Minjae.

Minjae bit her trembling lips, she looked like she was on the verge of crying but she held herself back. Truly I'd never seen her like this before. Gosh, both of them were idiots.

"Look, Minjae. I know you think he'll hate you if you tell him. But he will forgive you soon too, I'm sure of that. He would probably need time. Just thinking of himself as gay when he's straight as a frigging pole shows how much he likes you."

"B-but I'm afraid. I know, I am going to tell him. I can't hide this forever!" She said in a breathless voice, hitching on her words. "But not just him, I'm afraid others will hate me too. I..., I just can't bring myself to say the truth."

I felt a sadness spreading in my heart as she said what she felt about the truth. I wish I could tell Kihyun or everyone, but that would just make her a bigger liar. That's why she needed to come out herself and tell everyone that she was actually a girl.

"It will be okay." I slowly put my hand over her head and started stroking her head gently. "Every one of us likes you, thinks of you as our friend. You're like one of us and your real identity wouldn't change that. They'll understand if you try and explain your situation. Like take me for example, I wasn't angry at you."

"But you figured it out by yourself, from the start." She forced a smile in her face as she said.

"I'm the most genius of them all of course. No wait, they are just plain idiots."

***

"Um, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked in a monotonous tone. I wasn't expecting Byul to show up in a convenience store with a packet of chips and a bottle of banana milk in her hands when she acted like a princess all the time.

"What? To eat!" She hissed at me. "Seems like you're here to eat dinner too." She pointed at the cup of ramen in front of me.

"Aren't you guys like the prince or something? Don't you have a chef? Or did your company went broke?"

"I could ask you the same thing, shorty." I started slurping down the hot noodles.

"I'm not shorty. For your information I'm 167 centimeters." She placed the straw in her banana milk, rolling her eyes as she talked. This girl just can't help but amuse me without knowing it herself.

"But you're a shorty for me. Have you seen the height difference?" I blew a whistle showing the difference between our heights. I really wanted to piss her off.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. 5 year old these days." She said it as if she was speaking to herself.

Now she was getting on my nerves. But whoops, kind of liked that attitude right there.

"How's Minjae?" She asked suddenly as if she just remembered it, her eyes sparkling in excitement.

"Fine. I think she's dating Kihyun, though she won't tell me. Did she tell you?" I concentrated on the food but from my side vision I could see her getting shocked for a second. But she regained her posture soon.

"Yeah.. Ah no. Really? That's amazing!" She started laughing loudly, real loud all of a sudden. I stopped eating and watched her giggling by herself.

"So, uh why were you here?" She tried changing the topic looking a little distanced.

"What? To eat." I repeated her answer from several minutes ago. She blinked a few times then nodded.

"Me too. I had a violin class, that place is pretty close from here." Her banana milk rested on the table as she was fiddling with the straw looking absent minded.

"You play violin? That's cool." For the first time she was actually talking on something other than Minjae. I complimented her but she didn't look like she'd heard it.

"Do you like Minjae?"

Byul flinched hearing my question. Staring at me with a blank expression, which got replaced with a surprised one the next second. "Why would you think that. What in the world!"

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I won't judge you based on your sexuality."

From the day I'd met her I'd felt that she liked Minjae. Now I was pretty sure.

"I'm not gay. Stop assuming things. Acting you're all clever and stuff." She said in a shaky tone, immediately leaving the store after quickly paying her bill.

I followed her doing the same. For a matter of fact she didn't look okay at all and now she'd started walking in the night streets of Seoul. People in a state like her could commit anything in a whim.

"Hey, wait." I tried catching up with her but she was walking fast, avoiding me calling her out. So I took some rushed steps and caught her arm right before she started crossing a road that had red lights on.

"Can you stop? For God's sake leave me alone now!" She screamed pulling her arm out of my grip.

"Okay, I'm not assuming anything and I'm not going to ask you anything. I just followed you because you looked sick there." I huffed for air as I answered.

"I like her. Alright? I do liked her!" She emphasized the word liked loudly. Even though I hadn't asked anything she was yelling by herself. The look she was giving me easily gave away how frustrated, angry she was.

"I liked her, because I didn't know she was a girl okay? I didn't know she was a girl!"

"Calm down, please." I almost begged seeing her going insane.

"She used to come to our house to deliver newspapers. A year ago I first saw her, then I woke up at 5 am everyday and stood at the balcony to see her. I've studied in an all girl's school all my life. So it was my first time liking someone, whom I thought was a guy." She started blabbering, tears forming in her eyes then they started to pour down.

"It's okay. Let's go sit somewhere and talk about it if you want but calm yourself down first." I started walking holding her arm tightly in my hand. She was following my steps like a lifeless doll, still mumbling what she was saying.

"B-but you know I followed her one day. I went to every doorstep she went, she threw the newspapers at their lawns. I hid myself behind the walls and watched it all for an hour. I just couldn’t bring myself to go and talk to him— her. And then one day I encountered a scene, her aunt was there to visit her."

I could hear sounds of weeping from behind this time, I could tell that she had just broken down in tears. And I couldn't bring myself to watch. So I stared ahead and continued walking like that, slowering my pace a little.

"I.., I a-accidentally heard what they were saying. Her aunt was furious because of the way Minjae's been living and she was scolding her for no reason. I couldn't believe what I heard."

"But then I thought about it, and it actually fit the broken puzzle. That she was never a guy to begin with. I should've realized it sooner." Byul kept on crying, this time like a baby, leaving loud pained screams as if her insides were shattering into pieces.

Thankfully, it was only us in this part of the street. Taking in a large intake of air, I turned around to meet the weeping mess. She was holding her face with both her hands as she was crying.

"You're upset because even after finding out she's a girl you can't help liking her, right?"

Byul didn't answer and kept on crying.

"You know that it's not wrong liking someone as the same gender as you?"

Again she didn't answer but only the sounds of whimpering left her mouth. A moment later, she spoke.

"B-but I keep on trying to think that she's not actually a girl but a guy. I pray that it would happen like a miracle someday. I'm the most horrible person on earth."

"If I was in your place I would've done the same. So don't hate yourself for thinking like that." I went closer to her. For some reasons I wanted to hug her, so I did lightly. And she didn't resist.

"Now stop crying. It doesn't suit you, you should be like those girls from that mean girls movie. Even though I act like I can't stand you, I'll admit that it's pretty hot."

She let out a small giggle in the midst of crying. "Yeah and you can move now. I hate the scent of your cologne."

"I know you like it." I laughed patting the small of her back gently. I didn't let go but I was surprised to the core when she suddenly hugged me back.

"I'll admit that your smart ass is pretty hot too but you're not my type."

"You aren't too baby." I replied. It somehow made me laugh, how we were both badmouthing, dissing each other yet embracing each other at the same time.

And it made me wonder why I'd seen two girls suffering in love the same day. Now I was hugging one of them, hoping that her heart would mend soon. I wanted her to feel warm and be loved by someone.

And this feeling didn't taste bad at all. 

____________________________________
A/n: I love Byul. I know she might've been annoying in some parts but aren't we all in some sorts of way?