Hi, this is a weird chapter. Bye.

Also, this is in continuation of the conversation from the previous chapter.

*Smokes weed*

"You know, you will never find me in a gay bar. I never go there and stare at attractive men in tight leather pants, with rippling biceps and nor I make direct eye contacts with their devilish eyes that sparkle with forbidden lust. Nope, never." 

*Everyone nods*

"Yeah, man. Same. You'll never catch my head turning to admire a man's tight, muscular ass as he walks down the street, nor will you find me stealing kinky glances at their bulges. Even the really big ones. Some people might find that kind of thing interesting but I'm not one of them. That's nasty, man."

"Yeah, very nasty."

"And I have never ever tried to put a whole banana in my mouth and suck it just to feel how sucking a dick feels like. That's why I always cut bananas with a knife and eat it with a fork."

"Yeah. That's nice, man. I have also never put anything thick and long in my mouth that feels like a dick. Never."

*Everyone nods in unison*

"And I would like to add, I have never touched a penis."

*Everyone stares*

"Other than my own of course. Geez. Stop staring yo all."

*Everyone apologizes*

"I would like to make it perfectly clear that I'm not gay. I would hate it if there is any confusion left. I have never been even the slightest bit tempted to touch anybody's penis, feel its length, or measure its thickness. I have never and would never."

*Everyone agrees*

"Even in public restrooms, I keep my eye level horizontal at all times. I don't even look down at my own penis when I am peeing just in case I catch a glimpse of a stranger's penis in my peripheral view."

"Yeah, man. Me too."

"Any if any man pulls out his penis within five feet of me, I leave the room immediately, even if I am in the middle of urinating."

*Everyone gets shocked*

"Urinating on my clothes is a small price to pay to avoid being alone in a room with a man with his penis out. It's just I can't tolerate any dicks around me. I just can't."

"Same man. I feel you."

"Even I hate dicks so much that I only watch lesbian porn. Because heterosexual porn has penises in it which is very gay."

"Yeah, man. Me too. I don't like men in my porno."

*Everyone nod*

"My case goes a little sever here. I don't like men, dicks, and semen. I always make sure no drop of semen falls on me. While masturbating, I have never laid on my back, fired it up into the air, and allowed it rain down upon me. Never. I always use a tissue or ejaculate in my sock so nothing touches my skin."

*Everyone silent*

"And if by accident, I do get semen on my hand, I wash it away immediately. First with holy water and then with herbal soap that will cleanse my skin where the devilish drop was present."

"Man, that's deep."

"You are the bro, man."

*Everyone accords*

"To maintain my healthy straight sexuality, I only have heterosexual sex. And while I am doing her from behind, I avoid gazing her asshole. Because checking out assholes is so gay."

"Yeah, man. True."

"That's very gay, right."

"In fact, I would never put my dick in her ass and ask her to speak in a deep voice so I could pretend that she is a petite, hairless man. Such a thing wouldn't even cross my mind. Never."

*Everyone agrees*

"Yeah! For me, it's penis-in-vagina all the way. I don't even have sex in doggie-style because hitting from the back is so gay." 

"Yeah. All gays do that."

"As far as my own ass goes, nothing has ever been put inside me. I have never poked my finger in my butthole to know how it feels. Never."

"Yeah, man same. I don't even look at my butt in the mirror."

*Everyone nods*

"If it were possible, I wouldn't even have my poo inside my ass, but that can't be helped. I never imagine a hard, solid dick going out of my ass while I am pooping. Never."

"Yeah, man. Me too. Never."

"I know some men who admit they derive great satisfaction from the feeling of a big poo coming out, but I hate it. If you're going to like it, you might as well just cover yourself in glitter, suck a bunch of cocks, and be done with it."

"Yeah, man. Bro you said right."

"To get around this problem, I consume only light foods including vegan and liquid diet which ensures that my poop is almost completely liquid at all times and I don't feel any hard substance in my ass."

*Everyone looks in shock*

"Pushing a stream of shitty liquid from my ass is both uncomfortable and requires me to maintain an aggressive regimen of hydration to safeguard my health, but at least it's not gay. I talk straight and fuck straight." 

"Wow, bro. You are so hardcore straight man here."

"Yeah, man."

"And just to clear the dust, I am not homophobic or repressing my homosexual impulses. I have gay friends that always hang out with me in my apartment. They roam shirtless and sometimes pantless but I never complain because I am not homophobic."  

"That-That's a true quality, man."

"Thanks, man."

*Everyone praises him*

"Hey, where did Ryan go, man?

"Yeah, man. Where did he go?"

*Everyone looks at each other*

"He is not here, man."

"Yeah, man. He is not."

*Looks around*

"What if he got lost?"

"Yeah, man. I think he is lost."

*Pin drop silence*

"Let's go find him, man."

"Yeah, man. Let's go."

They all begin the search operation to find Ryan. They walk around the house, check the garden, backyard, swimming pool, and lastly the parking lot.

"As a straight man, I never carry lube in my pocket."

"Neither me."

"Also, I have never left my number in boys' washroom or scribble my number in gay bars' toilets. I don't even go there."

"Yeah, man. I never go there too. Not even on Thursday Night Special, that is totally for gays."

"Hey, that's Ryan, man."

"No, that's Dakota, man."

*Everyone looks carefully*

"Bro, that's Ryan and Dakota, man."

"Yeah, right."

"Yah, I forgot to see him."

*Everyone agrees*

"But what are they doing, bro?"

"Yeah, man. What they doing?"

*Everyone stares attentively*

"They are hugging, bro."

"Yeah, man. That's cute." 

*Everyone agrees*

"No bro, I think they are fighting."

"Yeah, man. They are fighting."

･ิ(•̀.̫•́)･ิ

Next chapter will be uploaded in a few hours. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only 500 words are remaining, I think I will complete it before sleeping. 

Also, a big ass THANK YOU to my readers for your wishes and prayers. My dad is all good and healthy now. You people are the best. God bless you all 😇

Shout out to these amazing readers for showering with votes ❤️
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