Saboohi

You don't have me, Jahan.

I had you.

But

You still have Ronaq. And not me.

I moved away from the large glass walls and shrugged off the burgundy coat feeling very warm. Flickering my eyes to the man I saw him do the same. He moved forwards hanging our coats on the rack in the corner of the room. I smiled at his gesture. Rubbing my hands together I spoke softly seeing him look at me.

" I'll just freshen up and then we'll have dinner."

" Yeah sure. Go ahead." He nodded his head making me drag my suitcase and pull out my clothes. Before closing the bathroom door I saw the man hug the pillows. Making me sigh out in hopelessness.

Minutes later when I skidded out the stairs in my loose pants and a white baggy shirt, the man was behind the islands.

" Hey." He said sliding a packet across the marble.

" I guess we'll have to have this for dinner." He shrugged.

Chewing the inside of my cheeks, I reached my hand to the packet and examined it. Seeing long thin spaghettis stare at me. Seeing the expectant man, I smiled hesitantly. My hands slammed the packet down gently. Running my tongue over my lips, I raised my shoulders.

" I love spaghettis." I spoke lying through my teeth.

He gave me a crooked smile. One very rare one.

" Good! Then surprise me with a nice recipe." He spoke moving towards me.

I chuckled tensing up already.

" You're really hungry." I joked, internally face palming myself.

" I am." He said before handing the packet to me again. I stared at the spaghetti.

Spa what?

" Yeah. Why don't you sit down then and I'll-" I gestured with my hand and rounded the islands. Opening the cabinets I retrieved a pan and sat in on the counter.

" Yeah sure. Go ahead. But if you need anything just ask me." Jahan said easily walking to the television lounge windows and closing them shut. Seeing the man at a safe distance. I pulled out my phone. Scrolling through the apps I waited for the browser to load. My anxious fingers scratched my neck as I waited for good two minutes seeing no signals.

" Um Jahan-" I called out mustering up the best less panic voice.

" Yes?" He asked turning to look at me.

" Uh there's no signal-"

" Yeah. This would be a problem here. No network signals." He stated shrugging his shoulders. I gave him a tight lipped smile and slowly lowered myself on the floor behind the marble island.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

" Saboohi-" he called and I face palmed myself.

" You needed to call someone?" He asked.

I shook my head at myself and answered him from my place on the floor.

" No. I am good."

Pushing myself off the floor. I drew in a deep breath and reached towards the packet. Putting the pan on the stove, I turned it on and poured in some oil. Cold shivers danced down my spine as I felt the man moved towards the kitchen area. With my back to him. I heard the stool scarp on the wooden floor as he pulled it out and plopped himself on it. Cutting open the packet, I pulled out the noodles and seeing the small bubbles dance on the rim of the pan, I dipped a single thin spaghetti in it. Seeing the oil protest and a sizz sound erupt our silence.

"Woah! What recipe are you making?" Jahan seemed surprised and blown away as he asked. Making me turn to face him. His eyes were large and eyebrows raised.

" Um. The recipe can not be revealed." I stated nodding my head.

" And why's that?" He chuckled.

" Because, I couldn't find one. Remember; no network signals." I grinned throwing his words at him. Turning back to the pan, I panicked seeing my noodle turn brown as it swam in the oil. His cologne wafted past my nostrils before I felt his presence.

" You don't know how to make spaghetti?" Jahan asked.

I turned off the stove and turned to him, folding my hands behind my back. Pouting I looked down.

" I know how to make spaghettis." I stated truthfully.

" Then?" He raised my chin with his two fingers and turned it towards the pan.

I flickered my eyes to his and let my shoulders drop as I spoke.

" I forgot the recipe."

He chuckled. Loudly and heartly that my insides melted and my breathings halted seeing him look so so-

" Who forgets the recipe of something as simple as noodles?" He looked at me and asked. Raising his perfectly thick eyebrows. His breaths hit my cheeks as he leaned forward in a teasing manner. Shoving him in the ribs, I moved past the man.

" I forgot the recipe. I tend to forget things! It happens."

Feeling offended, I propped myself on the marble island and looked at him with narrowed eyes. Seeing the man smirk.

" Really or is this a plain lie as well." He chuckled, pulling out another pan.

" I swear to God I knew the recipe. I cannot remember it just now." I spoke quietly puffing out my cheeks.

" I guess you will have to wait as I fix us some dinner."

" Yeah whatever." Rolling my eyes I reached for the cereal jar and uncapped it. Popping chocolate balls in my mouth. Jahan was quick as he pulled out some chicken and zip locked frozen veggies. He grabbed a jar from here and there and soon he had the pot on stove, boiling the noodles firstly.

" You really did forget, right?"

" Yeah, it happens to me quiet often. I forget things and then just boom-"

" Uhm hmm." He flickered his eyes back to the tin making me munch on my food.

"So who does the cleaning and all the grocery here. I mean the house was spotless when we arrived here." I asked.

Jahan placed the knife down, wiping his hands with a napkin as he stirred the boiling pot.

" We have a house help that comes in. Mom must've called her before we arrived. She used to come on weekends when we stayed here. If you'd like she'll come every alternate day."

Jahan suggested making me nod my head. He returned back to the cutting board.

" Your mother seemed a little stressed today." I scoffed at how cleverly he used his words and rolled my eyes. A bitter taste washing down my mouth.

" She's always like this with me. Probably you only noticed today."

He frowned.

" She looked happy at the wedding!"

I dangled my legs.

" Of course it was the wedding. So many guests were there and probably she was getting rid of me finally."

" Are you by any chance adopted? And hey-" he reached towards the jar craddled in my palms and took it away. I gasped as he capped it and put it on the highest shelf.

" Cereal is for breakfast." He grumbled like an old man and I huffed.

" I am not adopted. It's just that she loves her other daughter more. And she's always been super strict with me since the time I could remember. And I've always done things she has restricted me from." I spoke in a sickly sweet voice conveying my clear message to the man.

He hummed giving me a glance with his amber eyes.

" Well I am sorry."

" Nah! It's fine." I slid off the counter to peek in the pot as he drained the noodles and sauteed the vegetables.

The only work I did was set the dinner table. Placing the napkins fancily on the table, I cringed and against my better judgement I folded them and tucked them under the plates. Jahan placed the bowl of spaghettis and my grumbling self was already filling my plate. We sat down to eat and welcomed the silence.

" They're really good." I complimented going for the second round. He chuckled passing the napkin to me.

" You have some sauce on your shirt." He said pointing to my shirt amd I look down at the nasty blotch and smiled in embarrassment before licking it with my finger.

" I have one last question for you." Jahan said with his mouth full.

" You've already asked awfully thousand questions from me today." I said playing with my fork. My eyes narrowing at him as he ran a hand through his dark hair, messing them up. He then reached for the glass of water and gulped it down. His eyes never leaving mine. He finally leaned his elbows on the table and cleared his throat.

" Why did you marry me? Or should I ask what made you think that marrying me was the best idea."

I felt all the playfulness slip away from between us. And my hand trembled, knocking the salt and pepper pots down. My throat turned dry as I bent to pick the pots up. With chills running down my spine, I stood up scraping the chair hard against the floor. Taking the dirty plates I dumped them in the sink. I felt the man stand and move towards me.

" You didn't answer my question." He stated standing before me.

" Uh sorry. I must have forgotten the answer." Scratching my arms I moved past him. But the man was quick as he placed his around me and caged me between his chest and the counter.

" Answer me Saboohi Jahan." He growled lowly in my ear.

Causing my heart to beat rapidly.

" Jahan, you're invading my personal space." I choked.

" So have you." He leaned in. Making my breaths to halt.

I placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back. Feeling as if I didn't move away from him I'll burst into tears. Rounding my way away from him, I grinned at him shortly before moving towards the stairs.

" I'll answer that tomorrow."

He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head. His palms flat against the table we just had dinner on.

" There's no tomorrow."

•

I jumped on my toes when no longer could sit idly. Biting the inside of my cheeks, I chewed them unlady like. The past two days here had been awful. The first day it rained and Jahan and I had to viper the gallery continuously and the rest of the day I set my clothes and his in the cupboard. The second day the house help came. She was a nice lady; in her early fifties and was very kind. And it rained again so I wiped the gallery again. I wouldn't want the lady to do that could I?

Today I felt refreshed and excited to explore the near by city but Jahan got a call to visit a site area because of rain. And after Farzan ended the call with Jahan, I cursed the man.

Have a lovely trip.

Jahan wasn't apologetic as he got dressed in his perfect tailored suit after breakfast and left. But not before lowering the jar of cereals on the counter.

The weather was nice except for the cold outside. Feeling fully energized I swept the television lounge curtains with the silky light grey ones, dumping the previous butter brown ones in the washing machine. Going through the storage room, I found a nice cover for the table as well as some mats that needed to be place infront for the bathroom.

When I was done with all the home chores. I decided to cook us dinner. I found some lasagne in the cupboard and started with my work. The previous day the house help had gotten me some kitchen so I decided to roast it as well on the stove. Sweat skiddled down my neck as I layered the lasagne in a Pyrex dish. Turning to the oven, my eyes rounded.

Shit.

We had no oven.

Cursing myself I slapped my face internally and smirked seeing the microwave stare at me innocently. Once the chicken was on the stove and the microwave on work, I made my way to the window seeing the empty car spot.

Evening was falling upon us and the darkness was starting to loom. Sighing to myself, I made my way up the stairs. Wondering on to loosen a bit. I pulled out the nicest backless white number I had. Giggling to myself, I grabbed a quick shower and changed into the dress. Although it was cold outside but the house was warm and I didn't probe on it being so revealing. Standing before the mirror I examined myself in the dress.

It fell till my knees and was white. Beaded straps held the dress against my bony shoulders and it fit smugly against my curves. Running a hand over the fabric, I blow dried my hair and let them cascade down my shoulders. Applying a nude lipstick I did my liner before slipping on the heels. Satisfied, I walked downstairs and arranged the cutlery on the table. Turned off the stove for the chicken and took the lasagna out. Spooning a little from the side, I tasted it before I leveled it again as if it was never touched before.

" Come on Jahan! I am famished."

I said falling on the chairs with my hand over my stomach. Reaching towards my phone I dialled his number hearing no signal from the other end. I huffed and stood up. Looking out of the windows I ran my hands over my arm seeing the darkness outside.

A bad feeling churned my stomach and I pushed it aside.

" It's okay. He'll be here. He's going to be here." I assured myself and sat on the table seeing the scented candle melt away. Groaning, I reached towards my phone and dialled his number again. Hearing it reach voice mail this time.

Fear crawled over me. Suddenly hearing weird noises from all around.

I felt awfully scared.

Haunted.

" It's okay it's okay. It's okay." I chanted and reached towards the lights before switching them off. The moonlight slid in through the thin curtains and I rocked myself. My teeth biting my bottom lip and my eyes sweeping to the dinner getting cold on the table. My heels clicked against the wood and I flickered my eyes to the wall clock seeing it read past nine thirty.

My heart lurched as I heard the car engine outside. My jelly legs moved forward as I waited for the man to open the door and erase my fears away.  My heart melted hopefully and my happiness returned, making me run my fingers through my hair. I bit my lip as I reached to the door.

The keys jiggled on the other end and the door was pushed open. Making my eyes settle on the silhouette of the man who stood in the door way.

I reached forward and flung myself in the cocoon of his arms. His familiar cologne wafted past my nostrils as I placed my head on his chest. His arms came to rest around me as he cupped the back of my head. I reached my other hand behind the door and onto the switch board to surprise him but my fear and his warmth beat me. Tears brimming my eyes.

" You left me all alone here. I was so scared Jahan. Please don't leave me alone again." I breathed out shakily.

He sighed in relief.

" I won't Ronaq."

The weight of my fingers pressed onto the switch and the lights turned on. The man's fingers trembled over my bare back and I wrenched my cold self away from him. My eyes growing large as I staggered backwards.

" Fuck." He cursed. His eyes rounding in disbelief.

" What the hell!" I choked out.

The once brimming tears rolled down my round cheeks. He looked pained as he averted his eyes and moved inside. Closing the door behind him. Fiddling with his hands he looked at me before reaching a hand to rest on my shoulder.

" I am so sorry. It was so spontaneous. You embraced-" He fumbled for the words and I took his hand and jerked it to his side.

" Don't touch me."

I hissed through my teeth and walked to the table feeling my heart fall in the pit of my stomach. Reaching for the wild flowers that I had plucked from outside and placed in a vase, I threw them away. Soundlessly they scattered on the floor. Cold finger tips reached towards my arm and pulled me.

" Saboohi come on. I am really sorry. I'd never-"

" Shut up. Just shut up. And-" I yelled.

Jerking my hand away from him and hissed.

" Don't touch me ever again." 

I heaved glaring him in the eyes. His jaw ticked and his amber eyes blazed as he glared me back with an intensity I couldn't compete. He moved back.

" That was why I asked dammit! Who told you it was the best idea to marry me?"

He snapped back. His shoulders dropping as he ran a hand through his thick hair. Wiping away the cold tears angrily, I moved to stand before him.

" You want to know so bad that I married you, that you plotted a revenge against me to knock it out of me?" I yelled angrily not caring if I look crazed or how my jugular vein popped.

" I'd never do that Saboohi. Even if you're my enemy I wouldn't do it. I said it was a mistake for which I am sorry-"

His hand held my arms and I cut him off.

" I married you because papa said that you'll keep me happy. I married you because I was tired of being rejected again and again." My hands reached to my hair and I pulled at my strands seeing the adrenaline rush through my body.

" I married you because I was tired of being humiliated again and again. I was tired of being looked down. I was tired of being rejected by families because they couldn't accept me." I yelled feeling my throat parch.

His touch turned soft on my arms and he rubbed his big palms against my bare arms. His amber eyes looked down at me and I averted my eyes. Pushing my hair out of my eyes, I placed a hand over his black dress shirt and straightened out the invisible crinkles.

" Papa said you'll keep me happy! He said you'll be keep me happy. You'll have to keep my happy."

Moving away from him, I bent to pick the flowers and placed them in the vase again. Wiping my tears I flickered my glassy eyes to him.

" You cannot upset me. You have to keep me happy."

" Saboohi." Jahan walked up to me and took my hands in his.

" What are you doing?" He asked softly as I smiled through my tears.

" I made dinner for you. Look I remembered the recipes. You'll make me happy if you eat-"

" Saboohi-" he raised his voice and shook me.

" Your father said I'll make you happy does that mean by having dinner with you? And spoiling you with chocolates. Don't you understand? I am trying so hard to make it work for both of us. But this is not the happiness he talked about. Ask yourself!"

He said, clenching my heart within his palms.

" Papa doesn't lie to me. He said-"

" Well he said wrong then. Because I have a hard time struggling."

I looked up at him. Moving away from him, I climbed the stairs feeling tears blur my vision.

" He was wrong. You'll not make me happy."

" Saboohi." Jahan called.

" Stop it Jahan. You're upsetting me!" I said from the top of the stairs seeing the man lower his face and look ashen.

•

Oopss!!

I am excited! Who else is drop a heart emoji down below!

I'll see you very soon in the comment section.

And we'll meet tomorrow IN SHAA ALLAH!

Till then<

Love,
_Hafsa♥