Koi chaand rakh mere shaam par
Mere raat ko mehka gulaab Kar,

Kisse saye daar se lafz ko
Mere jalte dil ka hijaab Kar!

Saboohi

Love wasn't a Pandora box.

Love was just a deep feeling, something more than a feeling for that one person for whom you'd crash anything. For most people love was volcanoes erupting and fireworks cascading down dark skies whereas for me; I would have a definition of my own. Love had taught me this, Jahan had helped me through this. He had given me the scope to paint my own definition. To have my own explanation to the word, love. And for Saboohi Jahan Khan, love was undescribable. I wouldn't destroy the meaning of this word by describing it.

When you'd have a feeling towards someone that won't be describable, it would definitely be love. A feeling and emotion that you would feel towards the person and not be able to decipher. I could explain it simply. For some, love was chaotic and thunder and exciting and thrilling and so much more but for me. Love was calming the chaos within me. It was calming the excitement within me. It was taming the craziness within me. And my love for Jahan had that tendency. I could love him for endless years and still see the greater part of bad he saw in himself more than the good. I'd accept all of his flaws more than his perfections. I'd do it for the love I had for him.

I'd help him out of the bad as he had done for me. And I'd follow him blindly wherever he'd take me. Not because the love my soul held for him but because of how much I respected and trusted him.

" Saboohi? Which one, this orrrr-"

Afaaf's extended 'or' made me cast my eyes to her haphazardly making the hanger almost fall down from my grasp. She held two hangers which held almost same printed dress shirts. The left one only a shade lighter from the right.

" Mm. This or this."

She wiggled the hangers showing them to me and I squinted my eyes before nodding.

" The right one."

" Really. I like this one as well."

She turned the hanger and checked the collar whilst I looked at her in confusion.

" Afaaf the shirt is great but don't you think that it's a little too office-ish for you. I mean no offense-"

The woman's eyebrows quirked up and she laughed out.

" No silly these are for Zaryaab."

She said and realization dawned on me. Embarrassment clogged my skin and I mumbled out a small lie.

" I know, was joking."

She smiled and turned to look at the racks behind me. As I played with the hanger in my hand.

" Did you get something for Jahan?"

She mumbled still looking through the racks and I shrugged.

Haww- I should get something for Jahan. Afaaf always shopped for Zaryaab. And Zaryaab always appreciated her for that. But why did I not get anything for my husband.

" Yes, I did."

" You did."

She sounded as surprised as me. And I nodded my head as she turned to look at me.

" Yes I did, it's um at the counter. Let's look at the baby section come."

I pulled her with me as she giggled behind me and soon she was engrossed with soft baby blankets and cushions and I couldn't help but feel so warm and teary with all the baby stuff surrounding us.

" Afaaf, why don't you get some stuff while I find something for myself."

I said and shifted on my feet seeing the woman nod. Swiftly walking away from the aisle, I noticed the bodyguard now follow behind me. I turned around seeing the bulky man hot on my tail. And I smiled too sweetly.

" I am just going to the woman's store, right the side. Why don't you stay with Afaaf."

" But ma'am-"

I cut him off.

" Afaaf's security is much important right now. I'll be back in a second. Please."

I literally begged the man before running out of the store. Once out, I dialled Jahan's number. Hearing the bell ring, ring, ring till it reached voice mail. I tried again this time and the call was attended after a few rings.

" Saboohi. What now? I am in a meeting-"

" What should I get you from the mall?"

I asked straight away hearing the man whisper a curse not meant for my ears.

" Really Saboohi? Get me anything. I had to walk out of the meeting Ro-"

" Jahan now. Tell me specifically what to get?"

I could heard the man groan.

" A shirt or anything-"

" No, Afaaf got a shirt for Zaryaab. Tell me something else."

" Saboohi you get me an underwear for fucks sake. My client is waiting."

I crossed an arm across my chest and huffed at his irritation. My own anger starting to rise.

" You know what, Jahan. You don't deserve gifts."

I stated as rudely as I could without shouting and hung up on him. Now a thought stroke my mind. Although I had said that to him but I really wanted to get him a gift. And underwear was what I surely wasn't getting him.

By the time the car rolled in the haveli's driveway it was already tea time. The guards helped us take in the bags and when inside, I slumped down besides Afaaf in the hall.

" Hm, you two seem very tired."

" Yes."

I quirked up seeing Dadi Gul Jan walk towards us. The helper following behind her as she set the tea tray on the table.

" Saboohi shopped for whatever she could find for Mohid's room. I don't think there's any shop left now from which she didn't buy something."

Afaaf chuckled and I joined in. Soon Khan Dada and Zaryaab came in and I served tea. My eyes anxious for my husband's arrival and soon he was gracing us with his presence.

" So what plans do you two have for Mohid's room."

Zaryaab asked and Afaaf and I shared a mischievous look.

" It's something not to be revealed right now."

Afaaf answered and picked on her nails, giving her husband a sly smirk. Whereas I kept in my giggles that were protesting to burst out any moment from now. My eyes moved to glance at my husband seeing his gaze already fixed on me. And I audacity of the man that he actually winked while our family sat surrounding us. My cheeks heated up and I felt shy enough to look away.

When everyone dispersed out here and there, I found the perfect opportunity to carry the gift I got for Jahan. My fingers hurt because of how heavy it was and I was minutes away from putting it on it's place when a voice interrupted me.

" What is that thing?"

I turned around huffing and puffing and scrunched my eyebrows seeing Jahan come and stand besides me.

" It's a gift for you."

I said before leaning down and removing the paper covers from the thing.

" Really? Then why are you putting it up in Mohid's room?"

The man sounded confused and my heart almost melted at his innocence but soon I smirked devilishly already loving the reaction he'd give when I reveal the gift.

" What's going on your head?"

He asked seriously this time as I stood up straight to face him. But before I could answer him, the man leaned down and unwrapped the whole thing and slight disappointment flashed over me.

" Stop! You'll ruin it."

I protested seeing the unstoppable man. He removed all the barriers of the large photo frame I had gotten him and my eyes twinkled as I saw the photo in it was still not revealed as the backside faced us. I caught Jahan's hand before he could turn it.

" Wait- let me."

I picked up the frame and turned it around excitedly. The first thing I noticed upon Jahan's features was his mouth twisting in distaste and a series of profanities leaving his mouth. Next his eyes widened to the limit that they could bulge out and he took few steps away.

" What the fuck is that?"

He shouted in astonishment.

I giggled and hanged the frame by the wall before clapping my hands dramatically.

" I present to you; Jahan- the Superman."

I announced peering my eyes to his photo now on the wall. Since he had 'oh so politely' requested for an underwear, I had gotten an antique photo frame for him and got it polished. Finding a nice picture of him on my phone with Afaaf's help, I got it photoshopped and now the outcome was Jahan in a Superman suit. Smiling to the camera. His cape was somewhere flying in the background and his blue and red suit noticeable even from afar.

" Fuck, Saboohi. This is unbelievable."

" Haina, I know."

I couldn't keep in my laughter as the man traced his hands on the frame as if not believing what was before him. He soon joined me and we were laughing like two crazy people.

" What is that?"

A new surprised voice spoke and we turned to see Zaryaab and Afaaf by the door.

" What do you think about it?"

Jahan asked with reddened cheeks and turned to his brother. The two men laughing now. Afaaf was all smiles as she winked at me.

" Was this what you guys had planned for my son's room."

Zaryaab said and we all burst out laughing again. Jahan could be inspiration, no matter what he did and no matter what he wore.

•

I woke up with the heavy arm draped over my waist. I groaned feeling as if I didn't escape his clutches my bladder would burst. I pushed his arm away but it wouldn't even budged and I felt as if with each passing second it was getting even heavier.

" Jahan, move."

I hissed. My breaths were getting laboured with his tight grip now. Finally pushing his hand away harshly, I rolled down the bed and hurried to the bathroom. By the time I walked out, I had changed, brushed and even showered. Picking out a long floral printed duppatta, I walked out of the bedroom.

The fresh and golden rays of the growing sun were spraying inside from the large windows and the open terrace. The maids worked here and there, dusting everything from top to bottom and I offered them a smile before I skiddled my way to the terrace and sat on the swing seat. Looking at the fresh greenery as the air sizzled in.

Minutes later, I skipped my way downstairs seeing a maid carrying some warm oil to Dadi Gul Jan's room for her knee massage and I interrupted her.

" Let me take this-"

" Saboohi Bibi you're awake. There's somewhere here to meet you."

She stated and I frowned.

" Who is it?"

I asked with confusion. There was in no way any of my aunty or uncle would visit me. Nor could Moma do then who was it?

" He's sitting in the hall area. And Khan Dada has already met him before he left for his morning walk."

She said before carrying on her way. Him.

With utmost careful steps, I made my way to the hall and stood behind the pillar before peeking from behind. The clean shaven man sat on the plush sofa seat. His eyes impatient for someone's arrivals as he looked here and there. His tall figure sported his black expensive jacket, a white shirt and jeans. My heart fell in my stomach seeing that Alamdar was here to meet me. And my mood turned sour.

Clenching my jaw, I moved away almost immediately. I was not going to meet him. There was no reason to meet him. And why was he even here? He shouldn't be here. I could just skip him easily. I felt agitated and angry.

My vision blurred and before I knew soft tears were rolling down my eyes. I pulled my dupatta with me as I ran across the veranda and towards the stairs.

A gasp ripped out of my mouth as my shoulder collided painfully with another shoulder. I turned around seeing Jahan stand before me.

" Saboohi?"

He voiced out as I started to move away from him. But the man moved forward and caught my wrist. I turned to him with a scrunched face.

" Let go, Jahan."

I said trying hard to get away. But he shook his head and pulled me closer. He pressed my head to his suit clad chest and only then did I notice how fast my heart was beating. I sniffed as he traced my chin with his forefinger and thumb before tilting it up. My eyes looked into his golden amber ones and something visibly calmed my heart beats.

"Saboohi, what happened? Tell me hmm!"

He coaxed and I looked at the direction of the hall. And pointed my finger in the direction.

" Jahan. He is here and I don't want to see him."

I stuttered out seeing the man's eyebrows draw closer. He looked back where I was pointing and cupped my cheek.

" Who Saboohi?"

He asked softly and my mind went blank. The man before me could get angry and what if Alamdar's presence caused problems into our relationship again? What if?

" Alamdar."

I whispered gauging the man's expressions. Jahan surprised me instead. Not one frown or tick covered his face instead he smiled one of his rare smiles and pulled me to sit on the step of the stairs before settling besides me.

" Saboohi, I'll support you in what ever you do. But running away from people and problems is not something I'll appreciate. Maybe he's here to say something you might want to listen to. Maybe he's here to apologise. Or maybe something else. Saboohi, you could just go and meet him and if any point you feel uncomfortable, you can walk out. I'll just be outside-"

" Come with me."

I said already panicking at the thought of meeting Alamdar alone. His warm hands rubbed against my own and he shook his head.

" Maybe he wants to say something only to you, Saboohi. I'll surely meet him but I won't stay there while he talks."

" But-"

" Saboohi. You have to do this and I know you will. And do you know why I think this; it's because I've been told by someone that you're very strong and I want to see that strong woman."

" Walk me to the hall then."

I said with a twisted mouth and blinked away the tears. Jahan chuckled and stood up. He extended his hand out to me and we walked to the hall room hand in hand. When Alamdar saw us, he stood up. Visibly tensed he looked at Jahan who extended his hand for a shake. I looked at the two men carefully as they exchanged greetings.

" I am sorry to bother you both this early but-"

Alamdar trailed off as he looked at me. Offering me a smile yet I looked away at Jahan. Seeing the man shake his head as he gestured for the sofa.

" Please have a seat. Why don't you two talk while I ask someone to make tea."

I looked at my husband as he tried to break through my hold and I almost protested out aloud when he looked at me in the eyes and smiled.

" Jahan." I hissed unnoticeably but he shook his head and left. Once alone in the large room, I awkwardly cleared my throat and took seat on the sofa opposite from my cousin. And when I looked up to see him, I thought as he was a complete stranger to me. Someone I knew not of. Someone who wasn't my best friend and someone who was never a shoulder to cry on.

" Saboohi. I won't beat around the bush and come straight to the point. I am really sorry for what I did and it took weeks to realise this. I am no good man and you knew it. I feel guilty for leading you on that way knowing you were married and-"

I scrunched my eyebrows feeling as what next he had to say would break my heart.

" And Saboohi, you know how I am. You've known me all your life and how could you not see it. I am a jackass, a player. Simply sitting in that shitty abandoned town I was bored and you know, you seemed to be the perfect prey. I hate to say this to you but yeah I played you, okay."

The confession hit me like a boulder as I digested his words. I was completely blown away.

Played me?

" Alamdar, I was questioning my marriage with Jahan for you."

My voice was so small I could hardly care if it reached his ears. I was so stupid! God! I was so stupid!

" I know and am sorry if you ever felt any attraction towards me in a way I was leading you on. I am so sorry for that Saboohi."

" I cannot believe this."

I voiced out before shrinking in my seat. My eyes automatically moved towards the hallways, seeing any signs of my husband.

" Saboohi, believe me. I wasn't in the right mind-"

I glared at the man who's voice had turned softer than ever. And his eyes looked sad, nothing compared to the Alamdar I had ever seen.

" I came to apologise to you for whatever I did. You were just so easy to get and I didn't understand that what I was doing would cause problems for you. Maybe that is why uncle never considered my place besides you."

His guilt driven face lowered and he played with his fingers. I gulped down my throat at the mention of my father. Alamdar looked sorry and someplace it hurt, but I wasn't rude enough to consider. He looked up and smiled and I noticed the sheer gleam of moisture in his eyes.

" Men like me never change maybe. I wasn't a changed man either when I met you in the cabin. And although it's vile to say but I could assure you I never felt love towards you, Saboohi. It was just a- "

He trailed off and I thanked the heavens that he didn't dare to complete it.

I was everything for him but not love. I was lust and desire but not love.

" I am glad that uncle chose the right man for you. He sure is the right man, Saboohi."

" I know."

I spoke out confidently and somewhat rigidly. Alamdar smiled and nodded. His cracked lips lifting more as he spoke.

" It takes a lot to confess the truth. I did. Will you forgive me?"

The maid walked in with a trolley and I sighed out. Moments later, I took my seat again with the tea and looked at the forgiven man. He grinned through his lips and I failed to reciprocate.

" Your family is very warm welcoming. You're very lucky."

I hummed before sipping from the cup. He talked about here and there and I zoned out, thinking about the phenomenas of life and human nature.

" I hope I am welcomed here again."

" Yes Alamdar, bring aunty next time with you."

I offered politely.

" I would. Um can I ask you something?"

He rose an eyebrow and I nodded almost immediately.

" I hope my arrival and what went down the past would not cost me my best friend."

I smiled at his skeptical statement and stood up with the finished cup of tea.

" I've already gotten a best friend, I don't think I'll need more."

" It's not me is it? It's Jahan."

Alamdar stood up as well and smiled. And I turned to look at him.

" Nothing could compare to him Saboohi. I was a fool to think to be in the competition."

We remained silent until I walked him to the main door.

" I'll see you then sometime."

" Yeah."

We exchanged goodbyes and I rushed in immediately. I found the maid in the kitchen and asked,

" Where's Jahan?"

I was out of breath as I asked and I had to fill a quarter glass of water to chug down.

" He left for work."

She simply replied and narrowed my eyes in space.

Stupid him!

I walked to the hall room to retrieve the trolley. Placing the cups and saucers on the trolley, I set them up for space and my eyes caught the small note under the sugar pot. And the words were enough to blow a smile on my face.

You did great!

•

The way to a man's heart is to go through his stomach first. I had heard it quiet a number of times but as I looked down at the bowl of ruined kheer, I knew it wasn't something going into Jahan's stomach tonight. My lips puckered down as I packed it in the air tight container and placed it in the fridge.

Three hours. I had spent three hours in the kitchen without allowing Dadi Gul Jan into the kitchen just to make kheer for Jahan. He loved kheer. And so I attempted to make it for him but something had gone wrong because it looked more like sticky combination of rice and milk and not to even ask it tasted as if it was made without sugar.

Disheartened, I kept away the container and pressed my spine to the counter.

" Saboohi, come for dinner."

Afaaf called out and I completely forgot that everyone was outside at the dining table. I walked out and took my seat besides Jahan who looked at me skeptically with a teasing smile on his face.

" What took you so long, huh?"

He whispered and I shook my head before digging into my plate. Within moments dinner was finished and Khan Dada chuckled. Catching everyone's attention. I looked up to see him smiling at his wife.

" Be a little patient Bakhtiyar Sahb."

The old woman retorted and Khan Dada wiped way his hands.

" What's for dessert?"

He asked purposely and my heart fell in the pit of my stomach.

" Khala Jan brought methai in the morning-"

My chair scraped against the wood as I half stood up ready to bring the methai when Zaryaab stood up and waved his hand, indicating me to sit back down as he disappeared in the kitchen.

" I'll get the methai box."

Seconds later he returned with the methai box and everyone dug in the gulaam janum. But then Dadi Gul Jan looked at me and spoke,

" Saboohi, you made kheer? Aren't you going to serve?"

Eyes turned to me expectantly and Jahan nudged me. Whilst I remained flabbergasted.

" I did? I mean no. I was planning to make some."

" But you were in the kitchen all afternoon."

She said now confused and I laughed nervously.

" Oh that. I was checking if the ingredients were all right or not."

I shrugged nonchalantly, hoping the matter would drop but Afaaf spoke up all confused.

" You were checking the ingredients for three hours?"

I shot a quick look at Jahan and then at Afaaf and shook my head.

" I made tea and um-"

I paused and gulped nervously with all the pair of eyes on me.

" I cleaned the cabinets that why it took me so long."

I chuckled out hoping everyone would join in but all I got were skeptical looks. But Khan Dada saved the day as he sighed sadly and stood up.

" Mm Saboohi. It looks like I would have to wait till tomorrow for your kheer."

I nodded and offered him a small smile. And Dadi Gul Jan said sternly,

" Enough with sweets for this week. Saboohi make sure you don't spoil his health with kheer."

Everyone shared a laugh before dispersing off and I sighed in relief. Cleaning up the kitchen, I could hear Jahan somewhere in the veranda as he talked to someone on the phone. Placing the extra dishes in the cabinets, I wiped the slab and turned around to see Zaryaab walking in with an empty bottle.

" Water for Afaaf."

He sang before exchanging a cool bottle from the fridge. I could hear him rummaging through the fridge and I tensed.

" Was that kheer that I just saw?"

He asked with a teasing smile and I felt heat colouring my cheeks as I slowly nodded.

" It's okay. Your secret is safe with me."

He chuckled before walking off and closing the lights of the hallways. I huffed before opening the fridge and pushing the container at the very back. Once done with the work, I walked to the kitchen door and my mouth gasped out as a hand twisted mine and pushed me to the wall.

Amber brown eyes bored into mine as the man leaned closer.

" Jahan! You scared me."

I gasped and placed a hand on my thudding heart. A slight pain shot up my arm and I noticed my twisted hand still behind my back.

" My arm it's hurting-"

" Did you make kheer?"

He asked and my eyes widened. I started to shake my head but the man smirked and leaned closer. My breaths caught up in my chest as I glanced at him in the dark with the soft glow of the kitchen light on his face. His deamanor was nothing like that of minutes ago. He looked dark and dangerous.

" Are you lying?"

He breathed in my ear and warm shivers pooled down my spine. I gulped with much difficulty not knowing what to answer. His close proximity was doing wonders to me.

" I hate liars, Saboohi. Are you lying then?"

With widened eyes, I slowly shook my head. And then nodded.

" Words. I need words."

His breath was tickling my neck now and I felt more than warm. My insides were melting, my heart was racing. Simply I was going insane.

" Yes."

I gasped out just for him to bite the thin skin of my neck.

" Why did you lie then, sweet Saboohi?"

I felt breathless at this moment. And embarrassed as a small sound ripped out of my mouth.

" Tell me?"

He coaxed with interest.

" I made it for you and my efforts turned into waste when I ruined it awfully."

I voiced out looking into his warm amber eyes.

" Where's it?"

He whispered with his nose brushing against mine.

" Fridge."

He moved away instantly and pulled me along with him into the dimly lit kitchen. I stood by the island as he pulled open the door and retrieved out the box before taking the spoon and coming over to stand by me.

" You won't like it. Please don't eat."

I insisted. I was embarrassed, it was one thing he liked and I wasn't even a master into making it.

" Shsh."

He shut me up by opening the box and I closed my eyes, already defeated. Leaning against the island I looked at him as he took some dessert into the spoon and put it into his mouth.

" It's not even sweet."

I whispered.

Jahan smirked as he looked at me before coming to stand before me. And much closer that personal space existing in the dictionary was long forgotten. His eyes twinkled as he pulled my hand up so that light shone on my palm. Filling the spoonful of kheer, he cleaned it down from the spoon onto my palm and I could only look at him with widened eyes. And next what he did took my breath away and buckled my knees.

He licked the kheer off my palm.

I looked at him with horror as he smiled after his achievement and ran his tongue across his lips.

" Mm sweet. Enough sweet."

He spoke and my heart jumped out right there and then. Filling another spoon he slid the cool dessert on my palm again and heat dispersed all over my skin as he licked my palm clean. Running his cold tongue on my skin more than necessary. And the gasp bubbled in my mouth. His tongue so intimate, I thought I'd burst from my skin this very moment.

" I'd love to have every kheer sweetened this way only."

He breathed near my mouth and I could feel the coldness travel to my breaths.

" It was the best kheer I had in a while. You don't have to feel embarrassed or insecure. I'd eat anything if you serve me."

He smiled and ran his hand across my cheek and I noticed my palm still in his. His eyes moved to my palm once more, a tiny bit left on my finger side and he does down before sucking the spot clean. Once done, he moved away and walked out from the kitchen. As if he was never there.

Leaving me paralyzed with buckled knees. And my mind screamed.

What did just happen here?

•

Someone asked for a long chapter so this is 4922 words!

My babies! If you missed me or this book then just know I missed you all more!

I wasn't just in the shape to write! I just couldn't bring myself to write! And so I left you all hanging! But please forgive me! 💗❤

I am really sorry! But hey, look at Saboohi and Jahan doing what not with Kheer! 😂😂

Leave down your comments and I'll meet you in the comment section!

Next update is going to be FIRE! 🔥🔥

<Till then,

Love,

_Hafsa♥️