Dukh de kar sawaal karte hou..
Tum bhe gaalib kamaal karte hou..
Dekh Kar pouch liya haal mera..
Chalo kuch tou mera khiyaal karte hou..
Shehr dil me ye udasiyaan kese,
Ye bhe mujh se sawaal karte hou..
Marna chahen mar nahi sakte,
Tum bhe jeena muhaal karte hou..
Abb kis kis ki misaal doon tum ko,
Har sitam bemisaal karte hou.

Jahan

I turned around hearing the vase shake on my side table as someone brushed past it. My eyes warmed as I saw the woman give me a sheepish smile. Her eyes shying down as she slid a slender finger through her brown hair and brushed them behind her ear. Her skin glowed in the mustard red dress she wore. And her eyes, God her eyes. They were the warmest pools of brown that looked at me with love. And goosebumps were already travelling, crawling up my arms.

" I've been dying to see you." She stated.

Her voice, like melted warm honey to my ears.

I chuckled, allowing myself to sit on the bed.

" Ronaq, you're dead."

She smiled. Quickening her steps and taking the seat next to me.

" I am but you're not." She rose an eyebrow.

" I want to be."

" You're crazy, Jahan."

" Only about-"

" No Jahan." Her expressions morphed into something that I couldn't decipher. I furrowed my eyebrows together.

" I am dead and you're not. Understand this phrase. You have a life ahead. I don't. We're not on the same page now. Don't ruin your life like this. It'll hurt me."

I stared utterly confused at Ronaq. Surprised that she was saying this.

" I don't understand. You think the same." I was hurt.

" Jahan, my death is no punishment that you'll have to endure all your life. It's a fact. You have the right to live, really live and enjoy life. Marry again, have kids. Love someone else-"

" You don't even know what you're saying."

I was angry now. Fisting my hands besides me I looked at her with hard eyes. Her beautiful features looked at me with worry and once she saw my hands, she smiled. Leaving the place on bed, she bent down on the floor before me. Her hands stilling over my knees.

" You'll hate me."

I rasped out.

" I won't, Jahan."

" You'll let me be with another woman." I asked. It felt like accusing her of a deathly mistake.

" I'll let you, Jahan. Don't waste your life over someone that's long gone. Be grateful for what is to come."

" Will you be happy?"

" I will be Jahan, if you will be!"

I shook my head. She was playing with me.

" Do you believe in this? Me loving, someone else."

" I will, if you will. Believe in yourself, believe that you will be able to love someone else other than me."

Angry tears brimmed my eyes. And I stood up allowing her to move away. I walked past her tall figure to towards my work table. Rubbing the bridge of my nose.

" It's all your fault, Ronaq. It's all your fault that I am here in this state."

I yelled on the top of my lungs.

She gasped and tried to reach for me. But I moved away, my arm brushing over the photo frame and down it went. The glass breaking into numerable shards.

" It's all your fault."

I accused again.

" Jahan!" Called a manly voice. I walked to the door, seeing an astonished Bazid stand there and stare at me. I brushed past him as he called me again.

" Why are you angry?"

The man asked as I rubbed the moisture from under my eyes and descended the stairs.

" I am not angry." I stated.

He followed behind with his ice tea cup.

" Yes you are. Now tell me, why are you angry?"

" I am in pain. I am not angry."

Moving swiftly towards the corridors, I walked through the veranda and into the large open hall. Seeing one of the guards pull in a suitcase. Gulroz walked in next, smiling ear to ear as he looked at me. I snarled.

" Mom?" I called out walking towards the adjoined dining area, hearing the small talks the women made.

" Mom?"

" Yes Jahan?"

" I said that there won't be any guests on the wedding!"

Afaaf and mom looked at me with wide eyes. The two women stopped whatever they were wrapping in the pastel blue ribbons and exchanged a look.

" Jahan, what is all this shouting, this early in the morning!"

Dadi Gul Jan scolded as she walked in the dining area. Her hands holding scissors and tape.

" The suitcase-"

" We only invited Shaya over. That's it!" Mom explained as she sighed and went back to doing her work. I clenched my jaw and turned around. Seeing the young woman stand in my way. Her pony tail bouncing as she looked at me with a grin.

" Hmm. It's seems that my arrival hasn't been very pleasant for your health."

She said as her lips morphed in a smirk.

" No, um-"

I scratched my neck in nervousness under her scrutiny and averted my eyes.

" Save it, I wouldn't have missed your wedding for the world." She whispered as she leaned forward and gave me a tight lipped smile.

"  Shaya, is there something I should-"

" My cousin is awfully crazy. Please excuse him and should I please know the name of this beautiful woman-"

Bazid popped up from nowhere and rested his arm against my shoulder. His other arm extending forward towards Shaya. He gave her a goofy smile and I internally smacked him.

" Well thank you for such a warm welcome."

Shaya sassed as she flipped her pony tail and walked past us. Ignoring Bazid's still extended hand. My cousin's jaw remained hung now as he looked at me. Putting his arm around my shoulder he dragged me along with him. And we were again in the dining area.

" Oh so bhabi, she's your sister." Bazid asked as he grinned seeing Afaaf and Shaya embrace. Afaaf nodded her head and smiled politely at my cousin. Shaya was rolling her eyes. And grinning the next moment as she hugged Dadi Gul Jan.

" Now that we have some guests. I am going to enjoy this Shaadi!" Bazid announced and clapped before stealing some nuts from the jars on the table and walked out. Leaving the women to chuckle behind.

My curious gaze made me walk over to mom and her ministrations. She was wrapping up some boxes into ribbons that had small jewels tugged in them. The theme was pastel blue and off white. Afaaf was tucking a dried decor flower of the same contrast on top of each box.

" What are these for?" I asked. Stealing a nut as well. 

" Oh these. We'll be gifting these to your in laws. Filled with like, souvenir. Something like that-"

" Mom, the wedding is after a month." I pointed out looking ridiculously at them. Afaaf giggled.

" Well Jahan, the wedding is after a month but still we'll have so much to do at that time. We're just getting them ready in handy time."

I turned around, a headache starting to brew.

" I don't understand you guys anymore. You guys are getting the house decorated before time. The decors come in and put up flowers after every two days and your prepping gifts for the wedding and now- why do you guys even call the decors in so early." I muttered to no one.

" Because we need to make you comfortable to the fact that you're getting married."

Zaryaab patted my back as he walked past me and towards his wife. Leaving me thinking to myself.

I was going to get crazy by the end of this month.

•

The once golden rays were now hidden behind luminescents grey of clouds. The vast sky was painted in hues of grey and white flossy clouds. As if calling for a storm. I parked my car in the garage, collected my messenger bag from the back seat and got out of the vehicle.

Walking up to the patio steps and into the house, I could hear the giggles as they resonated through the walls of the haveli. Loosening my tie, I frowned and peeked in the large hall. Seeing Zaryaab sprawled out on the couch before the television screen with Bazid besides him. More awkwardly sprawled. Remote controllers in their hands whilst baby Mohid sat utterly speechless in between the two grown ups.

Mom and the girls were on the other side with catalogues of the fabrics before them. And colourful clothes starting from shimmer and silk lying all around them. Dadi Gul Jan was with her knitting kit, doing something on the cushion cover. Whilst Khan Dada and dad were in the far corner. Khan Dada seated in his favorite seat whilst dad on his right, engaged in a secret conversation with his uncle.

" Chai time!"

Someone called out loud and clear. The voice very soft and familiar.

I walked in as her eyes met mine and her grin widened.

" Jahan."

She said and I smiled waving at her.

" Oh so hot flare's back." Bazid commented sparing me a quick glance.

The woman narrowed her eyes and smacked my cousin lightly. Keeping the tea tray on the nearest table, she walked to me.

" Assalam O Alaikum. How are you?"

" I am good. It's so good to see you." I greeted back with a grin.

Faraal grinned with her white pearly teeth.

" Have some sharam Jahan. When was the last time you smiled this much."

Bazid interjected again, almost ignoring his game and that made Zaryaab chuckle. All other attention turned to us as well as I walked in and sat on the arm rest near Dadi Gul Jan.

" Bazid, stop bothering him now."

The woman said as she rolled her eyes, going back to the tea tray. Leaving my cousin to mouth a slang at me.

" How was work, Jahan?" Afaaf asked taking a sip of her just served tea.

" As usual." I said.

" Shaya, would you like to help me with the biscuits?" Faraal asked and Shaya was already up. The two young women exchanging grins.

" I better starve than eat burned cookies." Bazid scoffed.

This statement was barely out of my cousin's lips that Faraal snatched the remote control out of his hands and made his car crash on the screen. Zaryaab let out a laugh hilariously.

" What even?" Bazid protested.

" You deserved it." His fiancée said before going in the kitchen with Shaya.

" Serves you right, wait until you get married to her." I commented taking Mohid in my arms as the baby boy walked to me.

The girls returned with snacks and laid out the coffee table. The boys joined in as well. Bazid eating burnt cookies as Faraal served him. I smiled at them as they kept bickering over miniscule things. They looked happy in whatever they had. Bazid and Faraal got engaged two years ago. Faraal was our distant relative, the relatives you get to see once in a year, that kind of relative but back then. My aunt couldn't wait for Bazid to bring an english wife from Britain and throwing water over his plans, she got him engaged to this woman.

Faraal was beautiful and polite. She was a doctor, a very fresh one. And since the time she was engaged to my cousin, she had a great relation with our family. Her nature was very soft and kind. Guess my cousin got a little lucky. And since seeing Shaya and Faraal laugh on small things, I had a clue that the doctors were already bonding well. Bazid had to be very careful with his comebacks now.

" Jahan."

" Huh, yes?" I rubbed my eyes, sitting up.

" What happened? I've called you like five times in these two seconds." Mom said sighing out.

" Sorry, I zoned out." I flexed my neck, giving all attention to her.

" Hm. I was saying- get changed and fresh. We are going over to your in laws."

" What? I don't want to go." I spoke scrunching my nose.

" Tch, there's no choice. You have to go."

" Mom, please. Don't force me. Who even gave this idea."

I rubbed my face with my hands seeing the woman look at me with narrowing eyes.

" Faraal and Shaya want to meet Saboohi. What's wrong in this? And also since we've fixed the date you haven't been there. What would your in laws think? You're marrying their daughter, Jahan. And there are some manners. Everyone wants to meet you there as well."

Dadi Gul Jan convinced me with her eyes and I obeyed, surrending to everyone's wishes.

" I am waiting in the car, you guys come along!" I said standing up.

" You'll go like this?"

Shaya asked, slapping her hand over her mouth the very next second.

" I mean-" She started only to be cut off by my mother.

" Jahan, you behave like a kid. I'll have to instruct everything to you now. You're getting married, we're not enrolling you in summer camp. Go change. You've forgotten everything."

My mom said and everyone chuckled.

" I know everything, I've been married before."

The response was so spontaneous that I couldn't control it. It just rolled off my tongue and as a result everyone became silent. Their attention turned to me as they looked at me with expressions I didn't want to be looked with. My one statement of fact affected everyone so much. Mom turned her face away and I lowered my eyes.

" Afaaf bought me a new shirt. I kow you'll like it. It'll be the best to wear at your in laws." 

Zaryaab took the reigns of situation in his hands and stood up. Pulling me out of the room with him. With slouched shoulders I walked behind the man.

" You don't have to rescue me everytime. You're not my dad."

Zaryaab chuckled and turned to me.

" Aw. But I keep no difference in Mohid and you. You're just like my son." He goofed, pinching my cheeks.

" Whatever."

•

" You should've called us before hand, Serina. We should have prepared something for you guys." The petite woman said, embracing my mom and exchanging greetings with us.

I shook hands with the men. Some old some young. And we were guided into the lounge. I sat on the same spot where I had sat before when we had come to drop off Saboohi. Her house was packed with guests. Uncles and aunts that were now scurrying here and there.

" Jahan, it's so nice to finally meet you. I am Saboohi's mother Sukhaina, and this is her father Zameer Mirza."

I smiled politely as the old man came to sit besides me. Soon Aunt Sukhaina and the women from my side indulged in a warm conversation. Whilst uncle made small talk to me. Asking me about my studies and work.

" Where is Saboohi? The girls were very eager to meet her." My ears perked up.

Please don't be at home.

Please don't be at home.

Please don't be at home.

Aunt Sukhaina laughed and placed a hand on Afaaf's arm.

" She has gone for her dress trail. If I would've known you were coming over I wouldn't have sent her."

I sighed out. Relief washing over me. I turned to uncle as he talked about the banquet he had booked for the wedding.

" Saboohi aapa is here." A kid ran in informing no one in particular.

" Shit." I mumbled to myself.

" Oh. The girls were very eager." The women chuckled as they moved out of the room probably to meet the one who arrived. Whilst I internally groaned. Moments passed in peace as Mirza sahib introduced me to his brothers and nephews. All I could gather was that Mirza sahib was a decent man. With same eyes as Saboohi he was very polite and gentle. And the way he talked about her was clear that he adored her very much. Saboohi had an elder sister as well that was married and lived in Austria with her husband.

As silence pronounced in the sitting room, I relaxed in my seat. Just then the girls walked back in. Huge grins on their faces.

" Jahan you could go and have a talk with Saboohi. I am sure Mirza sahib, you won't mind?" My mom asked and I internally panicked.

" Oh no sure. Yes please, kids could discuss something before the marriage." He responded almost beckoning me out of my chair.

I threw a quick glance towards Afaaf seeing a smile on her lips as she looked at me. A smile that didn't reach her lips yet she reassured me with her eyes.

I was guided by a kid into a room at the very far corner of the hall.
" It's the library. Enjoy a book." He smiled with a missing tooth and ran off.

I twisted the knob and walked in. The room was indeed the library. Decorated with small bean bags by the wall length windows and a large couch. A reading desk in the centre with a wall encased shelf opposite to me. By the shelf stood the woman with streaked hair. Her back to me as she traced the books. As always she was dressed in white.

" Please close the door." Her voice bounced through the walls and I looked startled at her before complying.

I stuffed my hands in my jeans and walked over to the reading desk, looking aimlessly at the book lying there.

" Hi. I hope you're doing great."

I looked up seeing Saboohi now turned towards me. Her lips in small smile as she looked at me with her butterscotch eyes.

" Yeah... And how are you?"

I asked with quite awkwardness. She nodded her head.

" Good. The wedding, it's just-"

" You are informed about my first marriage?" I cut her off.

She squinted her eyes and scrunched her nose.

" Yeah. I am." She puffed her cheeks out.

" Then why are you doing this? Marrying a man whose already been married once?" I flexed my arms and crossed them against my ribcage.

She leaned against the book shelf and lowered her eyes. Her fingers brushing her hair behind her ears.

" My father says you'll keep me happy." She stated.

" And do you know why he says that?" I asked out of curiosity. My voice had dropped down octaves as I spoke.

" Not yet." She spoke softly.

" And other than why are you marrying me?"

" Hm!" She grinned.

" Are you bring forced to marry me?" She asked folding her hands behind her back.

" What? Um..no!" My male ego came in between but she sensed the lie.

" Ah! I see."

" Saboohi, is it out of pity that you affirmed the marriage with me. Was this because of a story my mom told you?" I wanted to be just sure.

It was going to happen. The wedding. But I wanted surety.

" Pity? You? Hmm that is exactly what it is. I thought about you. A broken man. No one would except you as their spouse so I thought to make a sacrifice and affirm the alliance." She said looking all serious.

I tried not to gape at her words. It did hurt at some places and I turned around to leave.

" Arey. I was just kidding-"

She came to stand before me. Deliberately blocking my way.

" I am marrying you because I want to. Because I think you'll keep me happy." She said winking at me. Soft giggles ripping out of her mouth.

I sighed and tried to walk past her but she came in my way. I took one step left, she took one step left. I took one right and she took one right.

" Bye Saboohi." I said.

" Ah huh. Say that you aren't being forced to marry me." She grinned.

I brushed past her swiftly. And opened the door, sliding out. Hearing the woman call out.

" I'll wait for your answer on 25th of this month, future husband." Her laughter followed after and a smile curved my lips at how she had managed to form the sentence.

•

Whoopsies!! God, my shoulders pain now.

This was such a long chapter!! 😭😭

Ohkay, first thing first- the next chapter is going to be the wedding/ or hopefully if there is a wedding.

Next- how do you like Faraal and Bazid. And no there won't be any book for them.

Next- what do you think about the chapter. What are your thoughts about Saboohi and Jahan.

Next- I did great in my test and got the highest marks in class. The subject teacher would've been surprised as well but she is unaware of the support I have from you guys! You guys have got my back!!👏😍

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Love,
_Hafsa♥