GUYS!
I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED. I'VE REACHED 115K+ VIEWS BUT NOT EVEN 9K VOTES?
ISN'T IT A DISAPPOINTMENT WHERE YOU WRITE JUST FOR YOUR READERS WHEREAS THEY JUST READ AND THAT'S IT!

I GET ALMOST 3K VIEWS ON EVERY CHAPTER BUT NOT EVEN 3/10 OF THE VOTES.

I AM CURRENTLY FEELING VERY REJECTED AND INSULTED.

YOU GUYS SHOULD AT LEAST VOTE SO THAT I CAN GET MOTIVATED TO WRITE.

At least respect me enough to vote on my chapters.

For those who vote, a big THANK YOU from me.

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The whole day, after attending back to back classes I had a constant pain in my neck. The day was tiring and now we even had an assignment to submit tonight.

I tilt my head to the side to see an almost passed out Haya resting her back on the bench as we waited for the driver to arrive.

I told Bari ammi that I'll be visiting khala and will stay there for a day, and Azan was already at khala's house, as I asked Akram chacha to drop him there after school.

Reaching there, I changed into comfortable clothes and went down for dinner as it was already late when we returned from University.

Khala was delighted to see me, and was continuously nagging me of how thin and pale I was becoming.

She made me eat so much that my stomach was hurting. Azan was enjoying as well, he got a partner to play with, even though Fariha was older but as they were both playing his favorite game cricket, he was beyond happy.

After cleaning up the kitchen, me and Haya went and sat in the terrace with steaming hot coffee.

Khala was already asleep along with faariha and Azan as they both had school the next day.

For a long time, we both didn't say anything, but then we started talking like old times, we used to do. It was so peaceful and I myself felt calm. It felt heavenly, away from home, away from unwanted environment and away from Arman.

After talking for hours, both of them felt relieved, as if some burden was lifted off of them.

It was midnight and both were making there assignments, when Haya's phone rang.

Confused Noor looked at Haya, who had paled still looking at the caller ID.

'Haya? Kiska phone hai? Uthao.' Noor didn't understand why she reacted this way.

(Whose calling? Attend it)

Haya on the other hand disconnected the call, and put it on silent.

' kisi ki nahi thi Yar, shayad ghalti se lagayi ho.'

(No one was calling. Maybe it was by mistake)

Haya tried to say in a chill tone but her shivering hands gave it away.

Noor, not to drag the topic, just nodded and again concentrated back to her assignment that was still incomplete.

A loud shrill noise of the telephone ringing downstairs pierced the deafening silence of the night. I looked up at Haya in horror, who looked ready to pass out.

' I'll see, whose on the phone.'

I said and got up from my place and made my way down where still the telephone was ringing. Haya was right behind me, stopping me from attending the call, but I had had enough.

Who the hell was the person who was this irritating, and was this useless to call at this time of the night!

' hello?' just as I picked up the phone, I asked in a not so gentle tone.

' assalamuaikum Noor'

Huh? He knew me? Who was he? And how the hell did he detect I am Noor this soon.

' walaikumassalam. Ap kon?' I didn't hide the disbelief in my voice.

(Who are you?)

I heard him chuckling before he replied.

' Daniyal Walizada.'

His mere name made my eyes to widen in pure shock.
Okay I know something was going on between them, but never in the million years I thought that he'll call her this late in the night.

'Noor? Please do me a favor and pass the phone to Haya.'

At first I couldn't under stand what he said. I looked up at Haya who gestured me to tell him that she's sleeping.

'huh?'

'Noor? Ap Meri baat sun rahi hai?'

(Are you listening to me?)

'jee? Jee! Mai sun rahi hu. Or Haya so rahi hai.'

(Yes? Yes! I'm listening. And Haya is sleeping)

He chuckled again.

'Noor? Mujhe pata hai Haya apke sath hi khari hai. Khair usko Bata dijyega ke Meri warning yaad rakhe. Allah Hafiz.' with that said he cut the call.

(I know she is standing beside you. Anyways tell her that don't forget my warning. Goodbye)

For a good minute I stared at the dead phone in shock. But when Haya placed her hand on my shoulder, I put the receiver back and looked at her, demanding for answers to my unasked questions, which I very well knew Haya was hiding.

' Noor. Mujhe pata hai ke tum Janna chahti ho ke Kiya hua hai. But Noor I'm helpless right now. Sahi wakt aane per sab batadungi.'

(I know you want to know about what's happening. But I'm helpless right now. I'll tell you when the time will come)

I nodded in understanding and wiped the stray tear that escaped. Giving her a comforting hug which I knew she needed the most I made my way back to the room

'sab theek hojaiga.' i said in a soothing voice.

I suddenly felt tired. So after taking a relaxing shower i straight went to bed. As Haya did the same and went in the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When she came out of the bathroom, I knew she cried in there. Her eyes were red. I so wanted to go kill Daniyal but I had to restrain myself from doing so. It will make matters worse than they already were.

' he said that I should tell you that you should remember the warning.' I told what Daniyal said not long ago, while smoothing my skin with the moisturizer.

Haya stopped midway for a couple of seconds then continued smoothing her hair with the towel.

We both came to bed as we got into covers, and layed down. Sleep was Faraway from me, as I kept staring at the ceiling.

Today I felt at peace. As if I was my own person, and I had my own life and rights.

I was free to do everything and anything. Even though there's no restrictions at Haveli too, but there I feel caged. Everyone loves me there but they talk to me like they should talk to Arman's wife.

I hate everything there. I don't want to go there. I want to live here under khala's shadow. She makes me feel at home. The way she speaks, the way she scolds me or anyone on small things, the way she do things make me remember my own ammi. She even smell like the way ammi used to.

But I can't live with her forever, I have my own family to look after to. And she has her own problems to deal with. She's still not familiar with my relationship with Arman like everyone, and I want to keep it that way. Cause she'll then unnecessarily take stress over me, and I love her so much that it'll hurt me to see her tensed.

With a sigh I tried to sleep as I had a University to attend to the next day.

//////////

It was a week after Arman left for South Africa. And I was over the moon. I felt free and away from stress and fear.

Everyone was present, having fun in the garden, talking and laughing, as only the young generation was present, we were laughing liking maniacs after centuries as Ammar told his sastay and lame Jokes.

'what do you call Mr bean standing far away?'

'what?'

'door bean.' he laughed out so loud, where as we just smiled at him who was thrashing in his chair.

'yar shut up Ammar. Bohat hogaya.' Haris spoke, irritated.

(It's enough)

'aray ek last.' he pointed the first finger indicating one, when everybody shook their heads, groaning as we all were fed up of his silly jokes.

After so long we were laughing and playing together. After a lot bickering we settled on playing cards.

Ammar, me, Haris, Aamina, Hira and Armeen, we all were playing cards when I saw Daniyal coming towards us from his car that was parked in the porch.

Watching him coming like this with a smile on his face, I felt my mood getting bitter and my blood boiling.

He met everyone and sat there with us, I just sat there uninterested.

He was the reason behind Haya's sleepless nights and fearful eyes. He is the only to be blamed for her uncountable miseries. She looked so full whenever we were together.

' kaha ghum ho Noor?' Hira asked, dragging me back to the present.

(Where are you lost)

Before I could answer, Armeen beat me to it.

' Arman Bhai ko yaad kerrahi hogi. Zahir hai ek hafta Hogaya hai aakhir.'

(She must be missing Arman Bhai. After all it's been a week since he is out)

All of them chuckled, except Haris who was busy on his phone and Aamina who was passing everyone the cups of tea. The game long forgotten.

I sat there for a minute or two then excused myself. I felt nausea hitting me sitting with him who was the sole reason of Haya's condition.

I made my towards my room when Daniyal called my name.

' Noor?'

'jee.' i turned around and spoke in an acidic tone

He looked amused for a moment then he spoke up.

' Arman ki file chahiye mujhe. Bas wahi lene Aya tha.' he told.

(I wanted Arman's file. I just came here to take it)

' to le lijiye.' I told in a duh tone and shrugged my shoulders.

(So go get it)

'wo uske room Mai hai.' he stated as if taking me as a dumb.

(It is in his room)

' mujhe Kiya pata ke unki file kaha rakhi hai.' I told with a boring expression.

( And how would I know where he has kept his file?)

' on the top shelf of the last cupboard of his room.'

I nodded and went in to grab the file.
I handed over the file to him, even though I so wanted to throw that same file on his face. But thought otherwise.

He turned around after thanking me when I spoke after him.

' Haya se dur rahai.'

(Distance yourself from Haya)

He stopped, turned around and looked straight in my eyes.

' bhabhi. Mai esa ker nahi sakta werna yakeen maane bohat pehle usse dur hojata.' The way he said bhabhi to me, was enough for me to know what he was trying to clarify over here.

(I can't do this or else trust me I would've distanced myself from her long before)

//////

I was attending my philosophy class, when my phone vibrated, as I had it on silence.

Arman was calling me.

Why he was calling me? And that too this early. I mean if it's 9 here in the morning, then it must be 6 there in Johannesburg.

But why he was calling me on the first place? I thought to ignore and placed my phone back and concentrated on my class.

Not long after, there was ping at my phone indicating a message.

Pick up. It's important!

With a sigh I asked my professor for permission.
Coming out of the class, the phone again started vibrating.

With a deep sigh, I attended the call.

' assalamuaikum.'

' walaikumassalam, Noor.' I heard him sighing.

'apne call ki thi?' I asked cautiously.

(You called?)

For God's sake I had a class going on! Hurry up and tell me already.

' ha. Tumne Meri ties kaha rakhi hai?' His voice was strangely gentle. Oh well he was behaving strangely the whole time when he was here, so it was kind of indigestible for me.

(Where did you keep my ties?)

With a frown on my forehead, I told him where I had put his ties as well as his perfumes.

I was about to cut the call when he asked.

' apna khayal to rakh rahi hona?' His voice was so soft yet strong that I looked at the caller ID again to make sure he was the one asking me.

( You're taking care of yourself?)

'jee?' i asked unsure.

(Yes?)

'maine itna mushkil sawal to nahi poocha Noor!' He stated with a sigh

(I didn't ask a very difficult question now!)

'mai rakh rahi hu apna khayal.' i replied politely, not wanting to anger him, which he will ultimately take out on me.

( I am taking care of myself)

'pakka?' he asked amused

(Are you sure?)

'huh? Jee jee. Pakka.' I told confused but replied none the less

(Yes yes. I'm sure)

I heard him chuckling on the other end of the phone

Arman Mustafa Malik was laughing?!

' I am sorry Noor.' after a while he spoke again.

I was left stunned.

' Allah Hafiz.'

After a moment, I disconnected the call as if I never heard of his apology, and went to sit in the garden area of the university, as I had no strength left to go in and attend the class.

What has happened to him? Why he was being nice and gentle with me? He was apologizing! I don't know for what! Was he apologizing because he called me when he knew i was busy, or was he apologizing for all that he did to me. I didn't know anything.

I sat on the bench, pondering over the thoughts when I saw Haya coming towards me with a concerned look plastered on her face.

' Haya mere sar mai sard horaha hai. I think I should go.'

(I am having a headache)

' Noor? Is everything alright?' She asked while patted my back.

' everything's alright. Just a little headache.' I replied putting a hand on my temple.

'go home and rest. I'll call the driver for you.' she told and picked my phone. Whereas I just sat there still and confused.

/////

I was loosing myself, bit by bit, little by little but I was. I was feeling helpless and this time I had no control over myself.

From the past week I was away from her, I realized many things. But the only thing that was making me feel haunted was the fact that I was accepting my mistake that I had raped her.

Gradually the guilt increased and now it was enough to make me feel ashamed of myself. And strange thing was, it was very unreal for me. It was so foreign to me. But it was hitting me hard. Making me loose my sanity.

I called her today early in the morning, not because i couldn't find my tie, but because I wanted to hear her voice, even for once to keep me going and not to make me look my fucking sanity.

I don't know how and from where I apologized, but i was not regretting apologizing to her, instead I was feeling an ounce of hope blooming inside of me.

What made me feel hurt was her straight rejection and denial when she disconnected the call on my face.

I guess I deserved it. I don't even myself know what was happening to me. But I felt suffocated living here, away from home Away from her!

With a dejected sigh, I left for my meeting. I wanted to finish my work over here as soon as possible so that i can go back to her.

///////

I

was still not over this fact that Arman apologized to me even after three days.

In those three days I was thinking about many scenarios that can lead him to apologise.

It felt so surreal and unfamiliar coming out of his mouth.

I don't know why, but i still was not convinced that he was actually sorry. Maybe it was another cruel act of his to get me under his bed. Or maybe it was a mistake. After all he didn't call me again to elaborate.

We were having our dinner on the dining table when something on the TV caught everyone's attention.

There was this news, highlighting an attack in Johannesburg, SA.
Everyone's attention was now on the TV, when Haris tried to call on Arman's number.

'uska phone off hai.' He cautiously stated.

(His phone is switched off)

The atmosphere changed into seconds, seconds before everyone was enjoying their dinner whereas now every male had a tensed expression on their faces whereas Bari ammi and dadi along with Armeen had tears in their eyes.

I just looked at them, unable to make myself tensed in front of the.
I

don't know why, but I didn't feel anything.

Haris along with other males were now out, to manage to get to know about Arman's whereabouts where as I just sat at the corner sofa, with Azan sleeping on my lap.

/////

It was a week after the attack, but there was still no sign of Arman. Till now everyone had tried to do everything to get to know where he is but there was no lead.

The flights were cancelled, and the whole city was locked down. So there was no way to get to him.

Arman's disappearance spread like a wildfire in the region, and almost everyone till then were tensed and were trying their best to get to know about their sahab's whereabouts.

I didn't shed a tear. I don't know if I was being selfish, but I couldn't fake cry now! I just prayed for his health and safety in prayers.

The Haveli lost its charm, as every single of the occupant of the Haveli had tears on the disappearance of their lives one.

Bit by bit, the news of his disappearance was taking a toll on me and seeping into me, and there I was falling into the never ending darkness, that I very well knew, if engulfed in, there will be no way out.

_______________

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Allah Hafiz.