THE TRUTH

I've been told to get you out my mind,
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind.
Oh my Lord, I need you by my side.

***

CHAPTER XI

*****

“DO YOU NEED something?”

I snapped up at the sound of Daniel's unmistakable voice, my heart stopping in my chest as I searched my mind for a half believable lie.

There was no use though. I knew it because he had caught me red-handed. And I hadn't even found whatever it was that I was looking for.

I stared at Daniel like a deer caught in headlights, willing myself to just open my mouth and defend my cause, but the most that I could do was gape at him like a fish out of water.

“Did you not hear me?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he took a step closer to me. “Or do you just choose to ignore me?”

“I-I heard you,” I stuttered out like a fool.

In that moment, I couldn't help but wonder where all of that pent up anger had gone. It would've been very useful now that I needed it but I saw that it only lasted until it got me into trouble. Now the only thing that was going through my mind was fear and unimaginable sadness.

“So you chose to ignore me then?”

I shook my head profusely, losing my voice in my throat again as he took another step closer to me. I knew he wasn't going to hit me; I had made him mad many times and he never raised his hands against me.

The problem was that I meant nothing to him. He could easily kill me if he wanted to which, under normal circumstances, wouldn't faze me much (since I would be dead) but I had a son now. A tiny little human being who loved and treasured me. Someone who depended solely on me.

And I loved him too. I wanted to see him grow old and live a long, fulfilling life.

“So, then answer my question, sweetheart,” he said, finally stepping right in front of me. I opened my mouth to force out an answer, but that was when his calloused hand had made delicate contact with my cheek.

An old feeling that I had buried a long time ago suddenly came rushing back and right then and there, I saw the thousands of reasons why I fell in love with him instead of the millions of reasons I hated him.

He traced his finger along my skin, drawing a smooth line from my cheekbone to my jaw. My eyes fluttered shut and my mind took me back to better times when I was with him and had little to worry about.

But then I caught myself because this was wrong and this was just another form of his manipulation. With a sigh, almost as if too tired to function, I took his hand and gently pushed him away from me.

“Don't touch me.”

I heard him let out a low chuckle, making me meet his eyes only to see that he had found the whole situation amusing. I didn't know why that made my heart ache in my chest. I didn't know why I had expected for him to feel the same intense emotions I felt.

He was just playing with me. Maybe checking to see if he still had the same affect on me. It was just a game to him.

Everything was just a game to him. Me falling for it was me showing him that I was that same naïve little girl that he fucked and played around with two years ago.

I clenched my jaw and stared him straight in the eye, wishing I could disconnect emotionally from the confrontation. I didn't like feeling this much and he was making me feel too much; making me feel way too many things that I didn't want.

I knew he had gotten tired of my silence by the way his lips rose an inch into the mischievous smirk I had learnt to fear. Quicker than I could blink, he raised his hand and wrapped it around my neck. I let out a small noise of terror which only made the smirk on his face grow.

He pulled me so close to him, I could feel his breath fan across my face as he applied the slightest bit of pressure. “Don't make me repeat myself.”

At this point, I had completely forgotten the question he had asked. I racked my brain, trying to remember the one question that seemed to have gotten me in so much trouble this far. My mind came up blank though so I decided to divert his attention instead.

“W-Where is Mateo?” I asked, wanting to change the subject. It turned out to be a bad idea.

He let out another chuckle and applied more pressure to his hold on my neck as I gasped. His lips were so close to mine, brushing against my skin as he spoke to me.

“Answering my question with a question?” he asked in a quiet voice. “I thought you knew better than that, princess.”

My breathing was coming out laboured as I stared into his storming brown eyes and then looked down at his lips which were so close to mine. I subconsciously licked my lips which only turned out to be a bad idea. He was so close that my tongue had brushed him and while I reacted with immediate regret, he only blew out a breath of laughter.

I placed a hand on his chest, my other one wrapping around his wrist as I let out a shaky breath. “Daniel—”

“Tell me what you need.”

“I need... I need... answers.” He suddenly pulled away from me, making me rip myself further away from him and make a beeline to the window. “Fucking hell,” I muttered, quickly twisting the handle open and taking gulps of fresh air.

“That wasn't so hard, was it?” he had the audacity to sound cocky as he spoke. I wanted to slap the life out of him for the mental mind fuck he had just performed on me but I held myself back and continued to breathe in my fresh air instead.

Silence lingered around us for a couple moments, allowing my brain to go over what had just happened minutes prior.

He was so close to kissing me... I couldn't help but wonder if I would have let him if he did. Would I have pushed away or let him continue?

It wasn't something I was going to dwell on for too long. If Daniel wanted to kiss me, he would have by now so there was no point in making up hypothetical situations.

“You can flip this house upside down,” he said, being the first to break the silence between us. “You won't find anything of value to you.”

I watched him as he walked up and down his bedroom, stripping off bits of his clothing. He took of his rolex and left it on his nightstand before unbottoning his white shirt and shedding it off.

Around his neck was a different chain - a golden one that was thicker than the one he had given me. It was shorter too and sat closer to his neck. I couldn't help but admire the way it complimented his skin tone and his chest before rolling my eyes and moving on.

“So where do I get answers?”

He met my gaze as I raised an eyebrow at him, waiting impatiently for an answer.

“You ask me.”

“You'll lie to me.”

“I won't,” he responded without the slightest bit of hesitation. “If you don't need to know, then I'll tell you that. Lying is pointless to me.”

He walked into his walk-in closet, leaving me to ponder over his words in solitude. It wasn't like he could lie about this anyway. I knew what happened and I would waste no time in calling him out on his bullshit. Plus, it was probably time we spoke about it instead of teetering around the main problem between us.

He stepped back into the room with a black t-shirt in his hand and walked over to his commode. He pulled open the first drawer and took out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter before walking over to his trusty sofa beside his window and taking a seat.

He paid no attention to me as he silently lit the cigarette and took a hit before lowering his arm onto the arm rest. I picked up the courage and carefully pushed myself off the window I was leaning on. As slowly as I could, I made my way over to his commode and picked up the letters I had left there before walking over to where he sat and dropping them on the coffee table.

“What are these?” I began our question and answer session with what I hoped was an easy question for him.

He glanced down at the pile of letters on the table before staring straight out the window and taking another hit from his smoke.

“Dead trees.”

“I'm not joking, Daniel,” I tried to say with a firm voice, but it only came out whiney instead.

“Am I laughing?” he asked, but even the most socially inept could see the obvious humour he found in the situation. I sighed and took a seat in front of him, making him roll his eyes and huff. “They're letters. What else do you want me to say?”

I stared at him for a couple seconds, not knowing what to say next. I shook my head and buried my face in my hands before letting out a loud breath and looking up again. He wasn't looking at me, but as soon as I turned my attention to him, he outstretched his hand, making me stare at the burning cigarette in his hand in confusion.

“Take it,” he said in a low voice. I tentatively reached over and took the burning cigarette from his hand, watching the smoke filter up towards the ceiling.

As if it was second nature to me, I brought it to my lips and took a long drag before slumping into my seat and breathing the smoke out through my nose. Moments passed by which I used to recollect my thoughts before sitting up again.

I was surprised to see him already staring at me but shook the surprise away and focused on my task at hand.

The event that had taken place two years ago.

“Why are they all addressed to me?”

“Because they're yours,” he said, like the smartass that he was. He gestured for me to give him back his smoke, so I took another quick drag from it before handing it back to him. “You can keep them.”

“Thank you,” I replied sarcastically, snorting the smoke from the cigarette out of my nose. “I appreciate it.”

A moment of silence passed between us again, making me notice that it seemed to be fairly common before he had spoken up.

“Did you read them?”

“Only one important one,” I answered with a quiet voice. “The one that I wrote.”

The air in the room seemed to have changed within seconds. We weren't on the best of terms to begin with, but I felt like I was being suffocated. The intensity of his eyes on me made it hard for my lungs to function and I found myself looking down at my hands as if I was in the wrong.

“So you have your answers then.”

“No, I—” I gulped, trying to keep my emotions down as memories of that horrible day filled my head. “Daniel, who wrote that?”

He stared at me with a raised eyebrow before slowly reaching his hand out to pick up the one thing that seemed to have started this whole thing.

“Right here,” he said, pointing to the bottom of the page, “is your signature meaning you wrote it.”

“Can you... Can you read what it says?” I asked, feeling my eyes water as I stared right at him, searching for the smallest inkling of remorse or guilt.

And as expected, I was met with nothing.

He looked at me as if I had grown two heads, and in my mind I began counting down the seconds until I was slapped with a sarcastic response from him, but surprising me, he only held the page to his face and began to read.

“Daniel,” he snorted out the first bit, “I can't be with you anymore. Forget about me, forget I ever existed to you and forget this baby too because it's not yours and it'll never be. Whatever was between us is over now so don't try and look for me. Sincerely, Araceli.”

His tone was calm and even, almost sounding like he had read it so many times that it was now ingrained in his head. I, on the other hand, was struggling to surpress the turmoil brewing inside me.

He dropped the letter on the coffee table and looked at me, as if asking me what I wanted him to do now.

“What does all this mean, Daniel?”

“Fuck sakes,” he huffed, leaning back in his seat and taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Should I translate it into Spanish for you? Will that help you understand it better?”

“You know that's not what I mean,” I said, staring straight at the wall ahead of me. I felt like it was more responsive to me than Daniel was.

“Then what do you mean?”

“What happened?” I finally mustered up the courage to ask him. “In the hospital? Two years ago? What happened? Because the story I have to tell does not fit the narrative this letter is painting.”

Daniel narrowed his eyes at me, as if trying to figure out a difficult puzzle. To me, everything was simple.

“What 'narrative',” he began, putting air quotes around 'narrative', “does the letter paint?”

I refrained from rolling my eyes because I wasn't really in the place to be exasperated. What else did I expect from Daniel apart from the usual mental mind games?

“To me,” I began, suddenly hating the taste of my own saliva as I forced the words out of my mouth. “It's almost as if I left?”

“Did you not?”

Something in me snapped and I clenched my hands into fists in an effort to contain my temper. Was this all some kind of joke to him? Did he think that what I was forced to go through was just a game? Why was he so nonchalant about it? Why didn't he fucking care?

“That's not what happened and you know it.”

“It's not?” he asked sarcastically, leaning in as if he was suddenly invested in the conversation even though we both knew he couldn't care any less than he already did. “Really?”

I stared at him, not wanting to validate his teasing with a reaction from me. He didn't deserve that.

He let out a breath of laughter and sat back in his seat, bringing the cigarette to his lips and taking a long drag. By now the sun was beginning to set, filling the room with a dim, orange glow that only made him look all the more mysterious.

“Your plan worked if that's what you want to hear me say,” he said, releasing the smoke from his mouth as he closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair.

I would've admired how good he looked if I wasn't confused by his words. My plan worked? What plan was he talking about?

“What plan?”

His jaw tensed and I knew in that moment that I had said something that ticked him off. Instead of reacting like any normal human would, he only took another drag and let the smoke out in a low chuckle.

“Do you want me to spell it out for you, sweetheart?” he asked in a teasing tone, but he was the only one who found humour in the situation because in that moment, I nodded my head in all seriousness.

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

He opened his eyes and let his gaze fall on my entire form before rolling his head back and laughing - actually laughing this time.

“Las cosas que esta mujer me hace hacer,” [The things this woman makes me do] he muttered lowly under his breath, making me raise a brow at him. “Well, let's see... After we took you to the hospital and the doctors got you stable, I left only to return the next day to find out you left.”

“I what?”

“You left.” This time the humour was gone and by his voice, I could tell that he was very serious. He clearly didn't like talking about this topic. “Apparently, I had been abusing you and you begged the nurses to help you get out before I got back.”

The silence that surrounded us was deafening. I could hear the blood rushing to my ears as both anger and confusion coursed through me.

“Is that what you want to hear?”

“No!”

“Then the fuck do you want?” he groaned, obviously not taking my emotions serious.

“The truth, Daniel!”

“The truth?” He suddenly sat up, his usually cold eyes burning with all the anger he probably didn't want to be feeling. I knew Daniel. I knew he prided himself on not feeling anything. “The truth is that I worried for you; I thought you were dying. I wanted to send you away from all this bullshit to protect you. So I could think straight and keep you safe. And then you turn around and pull that bullshit at the hospital and you know what the catch was?”

“Daniel—”

“The catch was I still worried for you. I still searched for you as if my head was on fire. I still looked for you. I stopped eating, stopped drinking, stopped everything I did for you. Only to find out that you were fine, living your life up in New York with my worst enemies still pregnant. That's the fucking truth.”

I couldn't do anything except for stare at him in shock. I didn't think I had ever seen him this angry at something; this angry at me. Yet, he hadn't raised his voice at all.

Something seemed off to me. Something seemed very off because how could something this far from the truth feel so real? Why was I sitting there, beginning to believe Daniel and doubt myself even though I knew what I was saying was completely true.

Damiel didn't seen like the type that liked acting very much so it's either what he was saying meant something more or he had always had a secret acting talent that I had never been aware of.

Considering the kind of guy he was, I doubted it was the latter.

“Whoever told you that is a liar,” I said with indifference. The doubt in my mind was growing stronger, but I still clung onto the belief that Daniel was my worst enemy.

“Because the letter you wrote me is a lie too,” he said sarcastically, leaning back into his seat and running his hand through his dark hair. He nodded his head slightly and brought the cigarette back to his lips. “Because Pablo and Anna-Maria who witnessed what happened are liars. Because the hundreds of men that put their lives on hold looking for you are liars. We're all liars here.”

“Was it not those same men that showed up to my room in the hospital?” I hissed, tears brimming my eyes as I thought back to that time. “The same men that lied to me; that told me that I wasn't pregnant and showed a picture of an empty sonogram. Was it not those same men that threw me in the back of a van after a doctor had sedated me and then proceeded to sell me to a cartel. All under your command.”

He had the audacity to look confused but I only scoffed, showing him that his manipulation and mental mind-fuck was not going to work on me.

“What men?”

“Your men!”

“There were no men,” he said harshly, shutting me up. “Do you think that if there were men at the hospital, you would've gotten away that easily?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm talking about the fact that it was only Anna-Maria, Pablo and me at the hospital with you,” he said lowly, his voice almost as dark as his eyes. “And they witnessed everything that happened. The story I'm telling you is the story they'll tell you too.”

“Wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand as my heart beat harder in my chest.

Something wasn't right and I was only beginning to take notice of it. How was he so sure? How could he be so sure of something that wasn't true?

And Anna? Anna's loyalty had always been with me, so why would she join him to concoct a lie? Was he threatening her? But even if he was threatening her, was he doing the same to Pablo too? Pablo wasn't the type that one could easily blackmail or threaten, so how was he in on the lie too?

Unless it wasn't a lie. Unless what he was saying now was the truth that he knew. Unless we were both being lied to.

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut as my head started to ache. My chest felt heavy and it was getting hard to breathe, especially with the lump that was forming in my throat.

“Daniel, please.” My voice came out needy as the tears that I had successfully held back since the beginning of the conversation broke past the barriers and streamed down my cheeks like rivers. “Please, don't lie to me.”

He said nothing and I opened my eyes, just to make sure that he was still there. He was, his eyes glaring at me as I struggled to keep my cool but I was slowly losing it.

I got up from the sofa and walked around the coffee table before taking a seat on it, right in front of him. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, I grabbed his hands and stared right into his eyes.

“Please, just tell me the truth. Please.”

“I'm not lying.” His voice was softer this time and he pulled his hand out of my own. I was so sure it was because he didn't want to be near me, but taking me by surprise, he brought his hand to my cheeks and wiped the tears pouring down them away. “When have I ever lied to you, cariña?”

“I'm so confused,” I cried, shaking my head but he only held me tighter so I couldn't get away from him.

“What happened to you?”

I squeezed my eyes shut again, letting my mind bring me back to the horrible day that my life went downhill. “The cartel...”

“What cartel?”

“The cartel... that you sold me to. They sold me.”

“You know I don't deal like that.” I didn't know when I had gotten so close to him but when I had opened my eyes again, I was close enough to count his eyelashes. “I don't sell people and I don't associate with anyone who does.”

“That's why I'm confused.”

“Tell me what happened.”

The memory of that day came back and I felt my breath hitch at how vivid it was. It was almost as if I was there again, witnessing everything happen.

“I woke up,” I began, sniffling back my tears so he would be able to understand me. “And there were two men. I only remember one name; he said he was Diego. They told me that you were tired of me. There was a note from you in your handwriting saying that you were tired of me. That you didn't need me anymore because I wasn't pregnant. They lied to me and said I wasn't pregnant anymore and then a doctor came in and sedated me and then they threw me in the back of a van and when I woke up I was tied up in the back of a truck with like ten other girls. And then—and then...”

Daniel gently rubbed his thumb against my cheek, shutting me up since I was becoming incomprehensible. A moment of silence followed until he suddenly stood up, making me look up at him.

I watched him as he put on his black shirt, almost mesmerised by the way his muscles flexed with his movements. He pulled it down his torso and straightened out the seam before grabbing my arm and pulling me up to my feet.

“Come with me,” he said, slowly coercing me to follow him before letting go of me. He walked out of the room and I followed after him, having to almost jog to keep up with his long strides.

We went down the stairs, making the confusion in me grow as I realised that we were approaching the front door. Were we going out?

As soon as he reached the door, he swung it open but before the both of us could step out, a voice had called for the both of our attention.

“Mama!”

I spun around, a smile gracing my face as a small bundle of joy running up to me grabbed my attention. I crouched down and opened my arms, feeling my mood immediately lift as he ran into me and wrapped his small arms around my neck.

“Baby,” I cooed, holding him close to my body and standing up. I hadn't seen him for the better part of the day and I missed his little annoying self. “How are you, my love?”

“Fine,” he muttered into my neck, letting his legs swing around as I rocked him from side to side.

I giggled, placing a small kiss on the crown of his head before pulling away from him slightly to inspect him. He seemed to be as healthy as the last time I had seen him, so I was content.

I caught sight of Anna, staring at the both of us with a small smile on her lips. She must have been the one taking care of him while Daniel and I were arguing. I made a mental note to thank her later and also iron out whatever issues she seemed to have with me because all the people that I believed were my enemies were turning out to be the complete opposite.

“Hi!” He almost screamed into my ear, his words clearly directed towards Daniel who was standing at the door.

I turned around to look at him, wanting to see his reaction. He was leaning against the wall, the smallest of smiles on his face as he waved at his son.

“Hey.”

Teo let out one of his loud, high-pitched laughs before burying his face in my neck again.

God, I loved this child.

I patted his back softly and pulled him away from me. “Danny and I have to go somewhere, but we'll be back soon, okay?” He pouted slightly, but nodded his head and hugged me once more. “Te quiero, baby.”

“Te quiero, mama," Teo beamed and giggled again before kicking his legs out for me to put him down. I placed him on his feet and he went sprinting towards Anna, grabbing a hold of her hand once he reached her.

“Bye,” he waved briefly before looking up to Anna who had been waiting p at the whole situation. “Te qieuro.”

“Aww, I love you too, sweetheart. Now let's get you ready for bed.” With that, they both walked away and I was suddenly reminded of the storm cloud hanging above my head.

“Come on,” Daniel said as he took his hands off my back. “Let's get going before it's too late.”

“Where are we going,” I asked, stepping out the door with him into the darkening night.

He only replied with, “to get some answers,” and nothing else.

***

Okay, sorry it didn't come out earlier. I've been being lazy.

See yall soon bye.