HIS SUICIDAL GIRL
❝I met the guy with his smile when my pen started to phlebotomize, and my fate has begun writing a new story.❞

13 – Deplorable Disease

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●THIRD PERSON●

7 years ago...

"F-Fidji, please do everything you can for my daughter." Andrea Sandoval, the mother of Crystal Xiamin Sandoval, never stopped crying in front of Doctor Fidji.

Doctor Fidji Saavedra has been Xiamin's doctor since her childhood. She is ravishing and kind. She and Andrea are cousins, ​​so they became close friends with Xiamin's parents in no time. Since Doc Fidji has no plans to get married, she does not have any children or anyone else to take care of but herself.

Her siblings and parents in other countries are also living well, so she only takes care of herself. That is why if she has free time, she stays in some schools, private or public as a nurse. Sometimes, she participates in some medical programs.

"She suffered from severe blood loss," Doc Fidji said sadly to Xiamin's parents. "but we will do everything that we can, I assure you that. We will do our best."

Despite the sadness she felt, she still had some courage to utter those words full of determination.

"Do what you can, Fidji. We are willing to pay as much as we can for our child." Xiamin's dad, Scott Sandoval said while rubbing the back of his wife. His eyes were also red, it was obvious that he was crying.

"Of course. No need to tell me," said the doctor. "Crystal is a kind child. I won't let anything happen to my precious niece." After she said this, she entered the Emergency Room (ER) where Xiamin was confined.

Andrea still did not stop crying. So, Scott tried to keep his wife strong and said, "Hold on, Andrea. Everything will be fine."

Andrea rubbed her eyes by using the back of her hands.

"H-Hopefully, Scott. I never thought this would happen to our daughter." She went back to crying, so her husband tried to make her stop anew. "O-Of all my life, I-I never expected C-Crystal, our p-precious Unica Hija w-would try to k-kill herself."

No matter how her husband tried so hard not to cry, he just could not help it. A single tear dropped from his eye, then another one, then another one, then another one until both of them were the ones crying together.

The reason why they were in the hospital was that Xiamin tried to commit suicide by cutting her wrist, and she lost a lot of blood.

"I-If only our daughter hadn't been sick, this w-wouldn't have happened," said the tearful Andrea.

They were currently outside the ER, and they did not care if they ever cried there. The important thing is that Doc Fidji will come out of the ER with good news about their daughter.

"We have to stay strong, Andrea." Xiamin's father reached out to his wife's hand to hold it. "This is just a challenge that the Lord has given us to test our strengths and limitations."

Scott received dagger looks from her despondent wife.

"A challenge? To test our strengths and limitations?" Andrea laughed full of sarcasm. "Our daughter has bone cancer, Scott! How did the Lord God do this to us?! Huh?!" She shouted and cried again.

Scott was in a loss of words and he could not answer his wife at all.

"W-Why does it have to be t-this way? Have we done anything wrong to make Him angry with us and let Crystal vent all of His anger there?" Andrea choked out her words in between sniffles from crying.

Scott clammed up after hearing everything that her wife said. He also feels guilty about himself because his great grandfather then died of bone cancer. Her great grandmother also died of breast cancer.

Based on what Doc Fidji said and from the research of Xiamin's parents from the internet, bone cancer can begin in any bone in the body; but it most commonly affects the pelvis or the long bones in the arms and legs. Bone cancer is rare, making up less than one percent of all cancers.

The term "bone cancer" does not include cancers that begin elsewhere in the body and spread or metastasize to the bone. Instead, those cancers are named for where they began, such as breast cancer that has metastasized to the bone.

"I-I'm sorry, Andrea! This is all my fault. It's because it's in o-our genes. I'm very, very sorry that our daughter got affected by it." Scott also cried because he could not help but blame himself for what happened.

The cause of most bone cancers is unknown. A small number of bone cancers have been linked to hereditary factors, while others are related to previous radiation exposure.

Andrea moved closer to her husband and hugged him tightly. Scott is a strong man, and she rarely sees him crying. Now that he cried, it just simply means that he could not bear the pain anymore.

Yes, Scott is a man, husband, and father, but that does not simply mean that he can no longer cry and be numb. Indeed, not even the pillar of the family can bear an everlasting pain─especially, when it comes to their children because it is excruciating for the parents to see their kids suffer.

This time, Andrea calmed her husband down.

"It's not your fault, Scott. I'm sorry too, it was so wrong of me to speak that way and to blame Him. The Lord has a plan and we need to trust in Him, whatever it is." Andrea let go of her husband's hug and looked him straight in the eyes. "Our baby is tough. She can handle this and when Crystal gets out of the hospital, we'll spend even more time with her. We have to be strong for Crystal, Scott."

Scott wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and forced a smile on his wife.

"Y-You're right, Andrea. After this, we will treat Crystal in the States. Fiji has a hospital there, right? We will just take Crystal there," Scott said.

Andrea agreed with him and they waited outside the ER for the result of their Unica Hija's condition, hand in hand.

◊◊◊◊◊

•XIAMIN•

The Regional Level Press Conference (RSPC) is near, and it was weekend, so I was chilling here at home first. I have lots of articles to write, and since I was not in the mood to write, I decided to waste my time scrolling on my Facebook feeds.

Technically, I am more active on Instagram. But then, I realized that I have not spent my time on Facebook lately so I just spent time with it.

I was busy scrolling until I saw my copy-reader friend's post at Division Presscon. She posted a picture of us all on the stage of the contest venue.

Angelica Ardiente added a new photo of you

I just saw it now. She captioned the photo, "You guys completed my Division Level Press Conference. To my 9-Aces classmates, I am proud of all of us! CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE !!! It's just so sad that this is over. Good Luck to the RSPC, journos!" It also has a lot of emojis on it.

I looked closely at the photo she posted. All of us have smiles on our faces although not all of us won.

You reacted "❤" to Angelica Ardiente's post.

I could not stop myself from reading the comments of some of my family members and friends, so I went to the comment section. Angelica posted this four days ago, and I just saw the comments because only now have I been able to scroll through my FB feeds again.

Les Villamor:
WOHOOO !!! ROAD TO REGIONALS AND BESHYY KOOOO !!! CX SANDOVAL IS MY BEST FRIEEEEEEND!!! KYAAAHHHH CONGRATS BESHYYYYY!!!!

Ma Ana Cris Lumongsud:
CONGRATS, ACEEE CX Sandoval! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!! I MISS YOUU!

Abby Oyao:
Congrats, CX Sandoval!

Alessa Cano Gungob:
CX Sandoval, congrats!!!

Abbegail Morales:
Wow, I wish all! Your wish to have a tarpaulin at school will soon be granted, CX Sandoval. Congratulations!!

Christopher Mancao Jr:
CX Sandoval I'm so proud of you, Xia! Congratulations!

Elleda:
CONGRATS, MY DEAR CX Sandoval!

Abegail Mae Veraces Aviso:
Congratulatioooooons CX Sandoval!

Gayle Romero:
Congratulations, Crystal CX Sandoval! Proud cousin here.

Mart Vincent Divino Abao:
Wow! Congrats, jolly CX Sandoval!

After I read some of the comments for me or even the comments that I was mentioned in─ I immediately typed a reply for them even though it was a bit late─then I sent them my replies individually.

Gash! Reading their comments with emojis are so darn cute.

Many people congratulated me. Even though my personality is not angelic, there are still many people who congratulate me. From the bottom of their hearts or not, at least, they still made an effort to congratulate me.

After replying to them, I looked again at the group photo of us, campus journalists.

Of all the campus journalists in the photo, only two people have become the focal point of my eyes. Zachrey and me. Side by side. Looking at both of us made me sad again.

"I just told him that I'm such a suicidal girl," I whispered to myself. He was the very first person that I told about it.

I immediately logged out on FB after I stared at the picture of Water and me for about five minutes and put my cellphone on the bedside table.

I lay down on the bed, and I buried my face on my pillow as I remember what I said to Water yesterday. It was so darn exasperating.

My stares landed on the ceiling. After several minutes, I sighed in exhaustion. To make me forget Water even today, I decided to listen to music. So, I turned on my Marvel's Hulk-designed Bluetooth speaker in my room and connected it to my phone. I chose some good music that might drive my stress away, and Bad Boy by Red Velvet was the song I chose.

I like their intro and the verse because Seulgi was the one who sang it.

Who dat, who dat, who dat is?
Coming in the back, back talking slick (uh-huh)
Tell me 'cause I like that, I like that
Yeah, I know what to do with trouble

I know I said that I only love the Kpop group Seventeen but it was Les' fault. She was the one who invited me to listen to Red Velvet's Bad Boy. She showed me the music video, and the song captivated my heart in just a glimpse.

Every time I come around
'Nother bad boy down
Got 'em like ooh ooh (oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Hit 'em with my love like ooh ooh (oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
But they come back another round

Based on what Les said, their fandom name is ReVeluv. I could not say that I stan their group, but I like Seulgi. They are all ravishing women, but I adore Seulgi more, especially her eyes.

Baby, my apologies
I don't mean to leave you hanging on a string
The more you wanna fight that (fight that), you fight that (fight that)
The more I will pull you right back ('cause I)

However, the one that Les showed me was singing in Korean. I prefer English at the moment, so I chose it.

Just one look from me, lights out
Watch them hit the ground
Got 'em like ooh ooh (oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
Hit 'em with my love like ooh ooh (oh-eh-oh-eh-oh)
I shot another bad boy down

I looked at the door when suddenly, there was a knock on it. It was such a flawless timing because the song I played was over.

"Crystal, honey? Let's have some snacks." I promptly stood up and headed for the door.

"Let me guess," I laughed, as I opened the door. "another ZacDonalds delivery?"

Mom smiled and said, "Your favorite."

She hugged me, and together we went down to the kitchen.

"Hi, Daddy!" I kissed Dad on the cheek.

He was watching another documentary video on his laptop which was kind of irksome to me because I do not like watching documentary videos.

"Hey, Honey! We ordered your favorite."

"Perfect." That was all I could say because I immediately ate my favorite cheeseburger with mushroom and bacon.

We ate our snacks together. We also laughed and shared some weird stories. I love my parents and my family so much that I could not ask for more. They may be strict, but so what? Only because they worry so much about me. I am only a child, and I understand any parent who is too worried about their children.

Looking at my mom and dad's smiles took me back to what I did just a few days ago.

When I tried to kill myself again.

It was just like what I did seven years ago. I lost a lot of blood, it was a good thing that I was treated immediately.

I tried to commit suicide when I learned about my condition─my deplorable disease. I have bone cancer. The other day, I started to feel pain inside me so I remembered my pain again even though I tried to forget about it.

I hid it to my parents because I did not want them to worry. I just told them that I accidentally cut my wrist, the reason why I wrapped it in bandages. God knows pretty well how much I hated lying. But I had no other choice.

Seven years ago, when I was eight, Mommy and Daddy and I went to the States to be diagnosed with cancer. They said that there was a huge chance that I will get better in there. I do not know if it was real, or they just said that to make me feel better.

At the age of eight, instead of playing outdoor games with other children of the same age as me, I went to America not to have fun but to get cured. The treatment was successful, though. But my doctor said, whom I forgot what looked like because I was still young at that time that there was still a very huge possibility that my pain would return.

I frankly do not know how much time I have left because my parents never told me about it after the treatment.

I took a deep breath and encouraged me to have some grit.

"Osteosarcoma," I said sadly to them. Their smile immediately disappeared as they slowly looked at me. "is a type of bone cancer that begins in the cells that form bones."

The atmosphere started to become so dreadful. However, I inhaled it. I stood up and looked outside the window to see young kids playing catch.

"Osteosarcoma is most often found in the long bones, more often the legs, but sometimes the arms. Although, it can start in any bone. In very rare instances, it occurs in soft tissue outside the bone." I turned to face them and I plastered a weak smile on my face. "That's the type of bone cancer I have, right?"

I became even sadder when I saw that Mommy seemed to be crying. I hate to see her cry. I hate to see my parents cry.

"Mom, Dad, you know how much I disdain to see you cry. But I have two questions that you must answer. One, when do you think will my disease come back?"

"C-Crystal, that again! Don't give your dad and me such a kind of question, Sweetie!" Even if she acted so strong, her eyes were transparent─and it screamed nothing but sorrow and melancholia.

"I just want to know, Mom." I looked at Dad and he was being silent all along. "Second, please, be honest with me. How many days, months, or years are left for me?"

That second question was probably the hardest question I have ever asked my parents. Also, with that, Mommy could not hold her tears any much longer. I closed my eyes as the sound of her cries entered my ears. I could never stand seeing my parents like that but I just have to know.

"It's been seven whole years and you never told me anything after my treatment in the U.S."

"Andrea, she needs to know the truth," Daddy said as she turned to Mommy.

"B-But, Scott!"

"She has to know, Andrea. For seven years we hid the truth from her. Now it's time to let her know," he told her, "Besides, she's at the right age. She of all people deserves to know."

It was very complex. I was perplexed about what they were talking about. I was nervous but I never minded it one bit. I just wanted to know the truth.

"Crystal," Dad inched forward towards me, wearing the calmest eyes just to hide his sorrow. "Please don't be angry with us because we hid it from you, okay?"

He wrapped me into a tight hug. It was so warm than any usual hug and I felt so protected in my life.

"Just tell me," I said.

I could still hear Mommy's sobs. Daddy also did not let go of my hug. He probably did this on purpose to comfort me in whatever he wanted to tell me.

"Seven years ago, your diagnosis was successful. We were so glad because finally, you will be fine and live the life you deserve in this world. However, according to Doctor Fidji Saavedra, your doctor and your mom's close cousin, there is a possibility that it will return when you are fifteen or sixteen years old," Dad explained, and he let go of my hug. He placed both his hands on my shoulder, and that was when I saw the true meaning behind his calm eyes.

And it was there that my world continued to crumble when I heard the last thing Daddy said.

"Crystal, when your cancer comes back, no treatment can ever cure it anymore."