THE HURTING

Never be afraid to ask for help, sweetheart. Not everyone sees your pain until you tell them.

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WARNING: Severely unedited. Again. Lmao, sorry guys.

CHAPTER XXLX

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"Anna," I said softly, letting myself into the room and closing the door behind me. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

She sniffled and quickly wiped away the tears on her cheeks as if I didn't already see it. She plastered on a smile that looked so real and genuine, I was scared.

That was probably the smile see had been giving me for months now and I didn't know any better. I thought she was fine, but she very clearly wasn't and I was completely blind to that. She always helped me through my problems, but I never took time out to try and help her through hers.

"I'm fine," she sniffled, turning away from me.

I knew better then. Anna was a fabulous actress, but I was actively learning and I wasn't going to let her fool me anymore. I was going to be a supportive and caring friend, whether she liked it or not.

"What's wrong, Anna?" I asked again, walking towards her and taking a seat beside her.

She remained silent and I decided that I wasn't going to press her for the answer. She was understanding and didn't force me to tell her what was bothering me, so I was going to show her and her privacy the same respect. She was honestly someone to look up to.

I threw my date with Daniel to the back of my mind. I loved him and I wanted to spend every second of the day with him, but in that moment I had more pressing issues. Right now she needed me.

"It's fine," I said calmly, placing my hand on hers. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. But I want you to know that I'm always here for you. I'm always here to talk to and I'll never ever treat you any different. You're my best friend and I love you."

She turned to me, her eyes sparkling with the utmost affection as she smiled. The tears began streaming down her face again, but instead her gaze on me was filled with hope instead of the beaten up look om her face.

I tilted my head to the side and she did the seem, placing her head on mine. "I know it may not seem like it, but it'll get better." My mind flicked back to a past memory, my mind being over taken by a certain red head that went by the name Morgan. "Time heals all wounds."

We remained silent for a while, before she hiccuped and finally spoke up. "My mom's condition has been getting worse," she muttered softly, speaking about her mom who was in the hospital for cancer, "I think I just got my heart broken and..." she trailed off and scooted away from me a bit, making me look at her with concern. "And I think I'm in love with a girl."

My jaw dropped to the floor as I stared at her in shock. I wasn't against it, I didn't want her to feel like I was. I just wouldn't have ever guessed that she would be lesbian. I wanted to slap myself in that moment.

I told her not to get hooked on dick. Of course she wasn't going to get hooked on dick, she didn't like dick.

"Oh," I said slowly, gauging her hopeful reaction as she kept her eyes trained on me. "Then I take back my comment about not getting hooked on dick. Don't get hooked on pussy."

She tilted her head to the side before a smile broke out onto her face and then a giggle tumbled out of her mouth. "What?"

"I told you not to take dick because you'll start craving it like an addict," I explained slowly. "I take that back. Don't take pussy because you'll start craving it like an addict."

She laughed this time, making a smile break out onto my face even though I was being completely serious.

"You're crazy, Araceli," she said, shaking her head at me as I shrugged.

"So, how did you realise?"

I regretted asking that question because immediately after, the frown returned to her lips as her laughing disappeared.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have ask-"

"I had a crush on Celeste," she said, cutting me off. I watched her carefully, showing that she had my complete attention as she spoke. "At first, I never really had a connection with anyone especially men, but I just thought it was because I had extremely high standards. But then Celeste came waltzing in and I was completely head over heels."

She let out a loud sigh and closed her eyes before opening them again and continuing.

"I kept denying it, but the more I fought, the more I realised that I might be lesbian. One night, I was Guillermo sneak out of her room and..." her voice cracked and she looked straight ahead, not focusing on anything in particular. "And I knew they slept together and I felt broken hearted but I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't gay so I... I slept with Guillermo too."

My heart broke for her and before I could help myself, I found myself wrapping her arms around her shoulder as she sobbed.

"And it was so difficult, because the longer it went on, the longer I realised I really didn't like it. Guillermo was a sweetheart and he stopped it because he realised I didn't want to do it, but I forced him... I convinced him to continue because I really had to be right about it. I really couldn't be..."

She stopped completely, letting herself calm down before she picked up again and finished.

"When it was over, I realised that I could've slept with any other man and I just chose Guillermo because he was with Celeste and I wanted to feel closer to her." I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling my heart ache for her as she sobbed. "I'm gay, Araceli, and completely one hundred per cent in love with Celeste, but she's straight and completely, one hundred per cent in love with Guillermo and I have no fucking chance."

She broke down again, covering her eyes with her hands as the tears trailed down her cheeks like rivers. "And I feel like I've just lost something that I never even had in the first place and I fucking hate it. And I hate myself."

I wanted to grab her chin and tell her that there was nothing to hate about herself, but I knew better. I was in her position. I knew that nothing I said would get through to her. I just had to be there for her, support her and show her that even if she didn't love herself, I would always love her.

I squeezed her shoulder lightly, and placed my head over hers as she continued to cry onto my shoulder.

"I feel like I'm letting my mom down so much." She sniffled and looked up again. "I dropped out of college, I rejected religion and now I'm fucking lesbian. What next? I'll join a cult?"

"There's nothing wrong with being lesbian," I said softly, holding her close to me. "Don't compare that to something like joining a cult because they're nothing like the other. Love is still love and as long as you give it, you are always - always - worthy of it."

She wailed louder at my words and I patted her shoulder reassuringly.

"And you are your own person and your mother is her own person. You owe her nothing but respect and the love she gives to you. Your life is your life and it is nobody's business what you do with it if you're not hurting yourself or anybody." I sucked in a deep breath and brushed her hair out of her face. "Life isn't worth living if you're not happy. It's not worth living if you're only doing I for someone else."

I sat there and let her cry on my shoulders, patting her back softly to comfort her. I didn't care if Daniel was waiting for me downstairs seething, I didn't care if there were two people trying to kill me. I didn't care about any of that because my best friend needed me.

And I was going to drop everything to be there for her.

Soon, her sniffles died down to heavy breathing and I didn't take me long to realise that she had falling asleep. I carefully pulled her down and placed her head on her pillow before placing the covers over her sleeping body. She rolled onto her side, and in her sleep, I could make out the smallest hint of a smile.

I was glad she fell asleep, because I wasn't planning on leaving even if she stopped crying and started laughing and told me she was okay.

With a sigh, I got up from the bed and made my way over to my room. I knew Daniel was most likely waiting for me and the only thing left for him to do was spank me if I pissed him off anymore than I tended to. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if that was exactly what he did.

I quickly freshened up, trying my best to do as much as I usually did in a fraction of the time. Thankfully, the dress that Daniel had intended for me to wear was more smart casual than fancy, so I didn't have to do much to doll myself up.

It was a navy dress that singed in at my waist and flared out when I spun around. It reminded me of something my six year old self would've worn. I shook the memory out of my head and slipped on a pair of black flats before picking up a small black, leather bag with a golden chain and hanging it on my shoulder.

I'm record time, I had gone sprinting out of the door and down the stairs, tripping on the last few. Luckily, before I could fall, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and lift me off the last three steps before placing me down on level ground.

I looked up and met Daniel's eyes, giving him a sheepish smile as he raised a brow at me.

"Ready?"

"One more thing," I said, making him roll his eyes and step to the side. I smiled at him before dashing towards the kitchen where I knew Pablo most likely was.

I caught him standing in front of the fridge with the door wide open. He was rummaging through the many things in it, even looking through the places he had already gone through as if a snack would magically manifest out of nowhere if he looked again.

"You know you're not going to find anything nice in there, right?"

The sound of my voice made him jump, before he turned back to me and shot me a sheepish smile. His suit jacket had been abandoned somewhere else and his tie was loosened significantly as he ran his hand through his messy hair that was usually gelled out of the way.

"I know. I'm just..." he trailed off, looking for an excuse to feed me as I rolled my eyes.

"Anna baked a small batch of cookies," I said, ignoring how he beamed at me. "They're in the oven." I then stepped into the kitchen and walked around the island. "I'm going now."

"Bye."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed a small kiss on his cheeks before darting out the door. "Bye."

Daniel was waiting for me in the car by the time that I had made it out of the house. It was dark and the previously warm weather had dropped significantly. Still, I closed the door behind me and rushed over to the car. I got into the passenger's side and slammed the door shut behind me before putting my seat belt.

Before he had even started the car, I turned to him and asked, "where are we going?"

"Can't even wait for me to start the car?" he asked, not looking at me as he typed a quick message into his phone.

I nodded my head in agreement and turned to look out the windshield. "You're right. Go ahead."

I waited until he put the phone down and the car revved to life before I turned to him again.

"So where are we going?"

He smirked and focused his attention on the road, not bothering to answer me.

"You're not taking me to dinner, are you?" I asked, deciding to try my luck at guessing.

He shook his head. "It's too dangerous."

My shoulders slumped with relief and I sighed. "Good. Because I don't think I can stomach anything right now."

I noticed how his lips turned into a frown as he continued speeding down the road. "What's wrong with you?"

My stomach dropped at the realisation and then that same dreaded word appeared in my mind again.

Pregnant.

Instead, I shook my head and smiled. "Just over ate this afternoon."

I was surprised and immensely grateful when he didn't question me any further. I decided not to push my luck and remained quiet the rest of the ride to our mystery location.

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YALL I WAS ALMOST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP WITHOUT UPDATING AND THEN I JUST REMEMBERED HOLY SHIT I HAVEN'T UPDATED TODAY so I was like better do that now before I wake up to pitchforks and torches lmao pls don't kill me.