Dirty Jim is a strange phenomenon that I never expected to capture hearts the way he did. The way I write, I plan out very little of the story ahead of time, aside from a very skeletal plot that usually has a hazy idea of where it could end (and a lot of the time the story ends up somewhere else completely, as I write it). Dirty Jim wasn't in my brain at all when I began writing the story.

Now, for those who don't know, when I started this wattpad account, it was to share the stories I was writing with a single friend, and I would avoid adding tags to the stories, simply putting "notags" or "tagsareevil" when it forced me to tag stories. I wrote the entirety of Ego Daycare with only one person reading it as I went. When I started Honey, I Shrunk the Egos, I only had a handful of followers.

This meant no one really noticed or cared much when I got stuck, and stopped writing after chapter 4. I would eventually get frustrated and completely rewrite chapters 2, 3 and 4, before finally being able to continue. It would be after this point that I would gain the courage to add real markiplier, jacksepticeye and ego tags to the stories and actually begin to gain readers.

So... most people have never read the original versions of chapter 2, 3 and 4. Of course... I still have those versions.

Why does this matter? It has to do with the real origin of Dirty Jim. So for the first time ever, a re-release of a good chunk of the ORIGINAL 3rd chapter (which was first called, "Okay Google, Survive").

* * * * *

Having looked around the room, Google had mapped it out from his new angle. He had attempted to seek out possible escape routes, and odds of avoiding being smashed to bits if he did make it out into the rest of the world. After reviewing the data, he had decided to stay in the room and had begun searching up survival guides and tips. Following his guides, he had surveyed around, seeking out supplies which might assist him. He had come across several paper clips, a few coins and a broken elastic. He had gathered these items under a desk when he caught sight of movement along the wall. The survival guides suggested that when left to survive on your own, you should adopt a pet or create a fictional companion to keep your sanity. Having taken this advice very seriously, Google grabbed his broken elastic, and chased after the creature that skittered around the room. He had captured this new friend and was leading him around by the elastic leash, tied around its 'waist'. He had spent some time attempting to train his new companion and just spending time with him, so the creature could get used to his presence.

It was at this point that Google heard a noise, and pulled his pal under the desk to hide with him.

Opening the door, Amy glanced around the office and sighed. She watched the floor carefully, taking very slow and deliberate steps. "Google?" She called out.

"Google!" Mark cried out from her shoulder.

Slowly, Google walked out from under the desk, pulling the elastic along with him. Amy shrieked and jumped back, nearly knocking Mark off her shoulder, though luckily he kept his grip on her shirt. "What the fuck, Google?" Amy shrieked.

Mark shifted, sighing. "Holy shit. What was that all about?" He muttered, not being able to see what the issue was from his vantage point.

"You tell me!" Amy gently grabbed Mark and set him down on the floor so he was on a level playing field with Google.

"That fucking cockroach is huge!" Mark screamed, turning and ran back to Amy, grabbing her shoe laces and pulled himself up on top of her foot.

"Why do you have that thing?" Amy sighed.

Google glanced down at the cockroach his elastic was tied around. "Survival guides suggest adopting a pet or creating a companion for your sanity. This is Dirty Jim."

"You named it?!" Amy whimpered.

"You named it, Jim?!" Mark muttered.

"Yes." Google looked down at Dirty Jim. "He is my companion."

"But why Jim?" Mark groaned.

Google smiled at him. "Analytics suggested others may not be accepting of a cockroach, but they may be more reluctant to attack one with a familiar name. As well, if I was able to find the Jims, they would likely adopt him as an honorary family member and help to protect him."

"Yeah... we're still killing it." Mark grunted.

"Perhaps I should have gone with Chica." Google glanced down at the cockroach.

"You're not comparing that thing to Chica!" Mark screamed.

"Dirty Jim is a good boy." Google explained.

Amy sighed. "How do you know it's a boy?"

"Mostly his size, but also the shape of his abdomen." Google explained.

"Okay, but this isn't a Castaway situation, Google. I know... you shrunk and it was scary-" Mark started, but was cut off by Google.

"I have no emotions. I was not afraid." Google explained.

Mark shook his head. "Pretty sure I've seen you frustrated. Anyway, if you don't have emotions, you really don't need a pet, right?"

"Dirty Jim shares my second directive." Google looked down at the cockroach, then back at Mark, who was still clinging to Amy's shoe.

Kathryn leaned in the doorway behind them and sighed. "Do we really have time for this? Let's just stick the thing in a container and bring it for now. You can fight this out later."

Reluctantly, Mark slid down Amy's shoe, setting foot on the ground again and walked forward slightly. The cockroach charged him and he ran back to the safety of Amy, screaming. "It's viscous!"

"You frightened him." Google explained.

"It attacked ME first!" Mark shouted, pointing at the cockroach.

Amy sighed and leaned down, gently scooping Mark up and sat him on her shoulder again. "Please don't get eaten by a cockroach."

Mark shook his head. "I wasn't planning on it." He pointed down towards Google. "Step on that thing!"

Google leaned down, patting Dirty Jim's shell, then scooped the insect in his arms. The cockroach wiggled its legs a little and then seemed to settle and allow Google to carry it. "I promise that Dirty Jim will not cause a problem."

Kathryn gently pushed her way into the office and grabbed a box off of one of the desks. Leaning down, she set the box on it's side. "This is your new travel containment, Google." Nodding slightly, Google set Dirty Jim down and led him into the box by his elastic leash. Gently, Kathryn turned the box right side up again and Google sat down in the corner, while Dirty Jim crawled over him.

"This is disgusting." Amy sighed.

"We don't have time!" Kathryn muttered. "We're finding Ed next?"

"Yes." Mark groaned. "And if Ed has a fucking cockroach, we're abandoning them all to figure this shit out on their own."

"Do not worry Dirty Jim, they will all be dead someday." Google promised.

Kathryn stared down into the box, before glancing up at Amy. "A tiny android just promised a cockroach that I would be dead someday."

* * * * *

I don't think I've ever explained it, but a lot of the time when I write Google, I will actually search up questions he's asked or things he wants to know... on Google, since I believe it's what he would be doing. When he was stranded in his office, I searched up survival guides, which suggested making a friend out of an inanimate object like in Castaway, or adopting a pet. As Google himself isn't really a living thing, I thought it would be more amusing for him to adopt a living pet... and being trapped in the office... this left insects. Since Google isn't held back by human conventions, a puppy isn't any more adorable or endearing to him than a bug would be.

Now I myself am an animal lover, and I love most animals. So I personally love a lot of creepy crawlies, spiders being my favourite... and I wanted to pick something that at least gave me an initial response of "Ehhhh... I wouldn't want to bring it around with me.". I also had the barrier of wanting it to be an insect that naturally occurs in LA... except I don't live in LA. Cock roaches are a safe bet, since they live pretty much everywhere (but I checked online that cock roaches do exist in LA).

Thus, Dirty Jim was born!

Now, when it came to naming the new insect friend, I knew that Google wouldn't be TOO creative and he wouldn't have an emotional attachment to a name. It would be a tactical name. Even though Google doesn't fully understand the difference between puppies and cock roaches, he knows that his human counter parts have different reactions to the two animals. I considered a few names, though the only one I remember is "Chica 2". However, I was, at that time, active in a Markiplier Fan Discord, which was still heavily into the cult of Jims. Every member had the nick name Jim, with modifiers based on their normal screen name or personality. This was going to be the first story that included the Jims (outside of Iplier House), so the name could work... but it needed a modifier, I thought. Being a cock roach, Dirty made the most sense.

I feel like I have to admit that when I first thought of the name Dirty Jim, I laughed much harder than anyone should. To the point where I stopped writing, collapsed onto my side and laughed so hard I could barely breath... for at least five solid minutes. I'm pretty sure no one should ever make themselves laugh that hard, and I have no excuse. It was this fit of laughter though, that made me want to include the cock roach friend when I rewrote the chapter, and restructured it to have Google split into four and fight the Roomba (which wasn't in the original).

And so, Dirty Jim made his way into the story.

It might very well be the rewrite that had Dirty Jim worm his way into so many hearts. Instead of having Google seek out a companion, I had a bold and curious cock roach come to investigate the robotic beings that were now much closer to his size, perhaps giving him more of a personality than he would have originally had. Then, as I worked my way forward, I found myself having to be responsible for keeping track of him, just like the egos as we collected more of them, and he quickly became the running joke when a new ego was added to the box.

However, I knew that I didn't want Dirty Jim to make it to the end of the story. The end of the story was going to be about the connections between the characters, and once things were back to normal, Google had no use for pet cock roach. I didn't want Google to just dump this new character to the side though, and I wasn't sure the others would let him, since they had began to grow attached to the creature during the adventure.

The original plan for Dirty Jim, was perhaps, much worse. I had planned to use a time honored writing trope to get rid of characters the story no longer needed... kill them off. The original plan was for the egos to leave the box and be shot by the laser, then as Google Yellow (yes, specifically Yellow), was growing inside the box where he had been left with Dirty Jim, the box would fall and the android would accidentally step on him in the shuffle. This would lead to the other egos mourning the loss, while Google stated that he never really cared for the cock roach and had simply adopted him based on survival guides, causing enough frustration for Mark to admit that he secretly had also grown attached to the insect.

Of course, if you've read Honey, I Shrunk the Egos, you know that Dirty Jim doesn't die, but is lost.

I mentioned at the beginning of this saga that HISTE is the first story I wrote with an audience. As I was chapters ahead in my mind, working towards Dirty Jim's eventual demise, people were constantly finding the story and pulling me back to the old chapters with comments. Dirty Jim received an over whelming amount of love, and support. From being welcomed in Chapter 3 where he first appeared to, just overwhelming amounts of "I love Dirty Jim" comments, I quickly realized that he was a more loved character than I ever expected. Especially considering he was a cock roach. There was even fan art drawn of Dirty Jim!

I had always assumed that Mark would be the relatable one, fighting the acceptance of the cock roach as a pet the entire time... but instead, Mark was the asshole who denied loving the character everyone else did. Honestly, it still worked, since Mark can be a pig-headed asshole when he wants to be. However, I realized that killing Dirty Jim would cause an up roar, and likely distract from the ego's adventure. So I decided instead to have a scared Dirty Jim escape and join a cock roach colony in the old abandoned lab, where he would be nearly impossible to find again.

It was the original readers and commenters who were around while I was actively writing the story that saved Dirty Jim's life. It would be the first time that outside opinions would change the path of a story, and I honestly like the way it turned out, better. It leaves the question open on whether Google really cares about the roach or not, since he did search for it, and Mark never had to fully admit that he liked Dirty Jim, just leaving it implied.

So what happened to Dirty Jim? Despite some one shot stories which have been written and will be written about Dirty Jim in the requests book... Dirty Jim lived out the rest of his life in the old abandoned lab. He probably found a lady roach... or a bunch of lady roaches, and had a few million children. It's hard to say if he even remembered the egos, but if he did, he would probably think of them fondly, and even miss them.

Thus ends the saga of Dirty Jim. He was a good roach.