When Haley woke the next day, she didn't know whether she had slept for ten minutes or ten hours. Her heart felt sore like someone had rung it out, trying to squeeze all the life from it. Even though she was awake, she didn't move, she couldn't find a reason too. The events of the previous night weighed down her mind, making movement and even thoughts too much.

A knock came on her door, but she didn't bother responding. After a second, it swung open and she heard footsteps.

"Hales, you still asleep?" Matt asked. "It's one in the afternoon."

Haley thought about replying but didn't. Matt rounded the bed and stared down at her, a frown of concern creasing his brows.

"I'm guessing you had to tear everything down before you got home," he said. "Was it a rough night?"

Isaac's angry face flashed into Haley's mind. She swallowed, trying not to let it hurt her again.

"You could say that," she mumbled.

Matt's lips twisted downward in sympathy.

"I'm sorry, but hey, you did an amazing job on the fair and I wanted to say how impressed I was of it all."

Haley curled her fingers around the edge of her pillow wanting to forget all of it.

"Thanks."

Matt surveyed the room.

"I know it sounds strange but you haven't seen my hacky sack by any chance, have you? I'm missing it and some guy at work asked if I had one."

Sliding one hand out from under the covers, Haley took the hacky sack that was tucked behind her bed lamp and held it up to Matt. It wasn't like she needed it anymore.

"Hey, thanks," he said. "I'm off, I'll see you later, Hales."

Haley gave a weak nod, curling herself up as the door closed. Every bit of her felt tired. She tried to convince herself that it had been the late night, not having gotten home until three, but there was a hollowness in her chest that said otherwise. The minutes ticked by, but Haley didn't move.

When the fog of sleep eventually left her mind, she was faced with thoughts that she couldn't bear to confront. She sat up and shoved her blankets away. Though she hated herself for it, her attention drifted to Jace's balcony. The curtains were shut as if locking her out.

Shaking her head, Haley told herself that it was better this way, their friendship hadn't been real to start with. The hole in her stomach made food pointless and so she went for the second-best distraction. Collecting her computer, she climbed back onto her bed. There was one final essay to write for her author project and she figured it would take enough brainpower to keep her unwanted thoughts at bay.

As she began to write about how perspective shaped opinions, her hands stilled. The events of the previous night rushed back at her. Part of her had begun to imagine that her view of life had been wrong, a perspective that had needed to be changed, but that wasn't true.

She had been right. All the time she had imagined that relationships only brought pain was true. She had first-hand proof that again that it wasn't worth it. The sentiment was echoed in the gnawing pain in her chest.

Thoughts dive-bombed her and she buried her face in her hands, wanting to shut off her brain, wanting to mute Isaac's accusations, wanting to forget the memories of Jace, Ty, and Josie that were fighting back. Around and around her mind whirled until Haley felt she was going to scream and break apart.

Unable to stand it, she clambered off her bed. She was standing on her balcony facing Jace's window with nothing to throw at it before she even knew what she was doing. A part of her berated herself for even wanting to talk to him, wanting to see his smile knowing it would remind her that not everything in the world was lost.

Another part needed that, needed to have someone tell her she was wrong despite the evidence against it. She knew Jace could be it.

But she was empty-handed and his curtains were closed against her.

Turning away, she entered her room and went in search of her phone. When she found it, she sent off a message before her logical and cynical side could stop her. She waited, staring at the screen. Minutes dragged on. When it felt like no response was ever going to come, one did.

"I don't want to talk. I don't feel like being yelled at for no reason today."

Haley blinked at Jace's reply then set down the phone. What could she say? There was nothing to say. Anger boiled upside her and she climbed off her bed once more. After grabbing a toppled book, she stormed onto her balcony and raised her hand about to hurl the object at Jace's window.

Only a tiny thought of the consequences halted her. She dropped her hands, squeezing the spine, glaring at the doors. She didn't want to talk to him, she wanted to punch him. She wanted to scream at him again because she was on the deck because of him.

Before she would have been fine curling beneath her blankets and blocking out the world, but now the world was inside her heart and she hated him for it. Hated that a piece of her had been uncaged when she had worked so hard to build those walls.

Spinning away from the temptation to care or do something stupid, she stormed back into her room and tossed the book aside. She paced, wearing a hole in her carpet, her hand dragging paths through her hair, knots snagging at her fingers. Inside her chest, a furious monster had its claws in her heart and was eating away at it.

Back and forth she walked, too many thoughts and feelings tearing her in all directions. She wanted it all to stop, wanted to go back to when nothing could hurt her. Return to a life where she was stone and events glanced off her, barely chipping at her.

When her thoughts began to scream in her head, she dug her headphones out and hit play. Curling up on her bed, she willed the noise to drown herself. Lyrics and rhythms pounded away in her ears, but still, her mind persisted in traveling back to the previous night ripping apart every second until it stopped at the point where it had all gone wrong. Though Jace looking like he was about to kiss her had been one point of cause, the second was the fight with Isaac and everything she had failed to say.

Haley sat up, struck with an idea. Driven by one thought, she scrambled into her closet and threw on the first thing she saw. She wiped her hair up into a messy ponytail and snatched her purse. Downstairs, she found her mother at the dining room table, papers scattered about her. She tore her focus away from her work and eyed her daughter's jumbled state with a worried crease of her eyebrows.

"Haley, I haven't seen you, are you-"

"Can I borrow your car?" Haley asked, the words rushing out.

"Are you okay?"

Haley shook her head then nodded. "I just need to fix something. Can I borrow the car?"

Instead of answering, her mother pulled out a chair adjacent to her.

"Mom, I really can't-"

"If you want my keys, you'll sit down."

Fighting the voice in her head that told her to run and find a different way to fix everything, Haley sat. Her mother rested her arms on the table, papers crinkling beneath her. The lines by her eyes wrinkled with worry.

"What's going on, sweetheart?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing."

Haley's leg bounced beneath the table, every limb feeling as if it were trying to escape her body.

Her mother laid a hand on Haley's arm. "I'm right here, Haley, talk to me."

The invitation cracked away at Haley and she felt like the dam which she kept everything hidden behind fracturing. Her leg stopped bouncing.

"I messed up with Isaac and I need to make it better. He's mad at me for something that isn't what he thinks it is."

Her mother tucked a rebellious strand of hair away from Haley's face.

"Do you want to tell me what it was?"

At that, Haley dropped her gaze. "No, it was stupid and not a big deal."

Her mother studied Haley, weighing her words.

"Can you call him and explain?" she asked.

Haley knotted her fingers together. "I never got his number. But I figured if I went over to his house I could explain it all to him."

A beat of silence passed between them. "If you want, I can go with you. Would that help to have someone there?"

The image of herself and her mother approaching Isaac's house like Haley needed backup made her shake her head. She let out a sigh, some part of her soothed by the offer.

"No, this is something I have to do on my own, thanks though."

"Of course, I know I've been busy lately..." the stress and exhaustion that had momentarily disappeared returned, aging her face. She tried to smile past it. "But I hope you know I'm always here for you."

The mention of the second problem that seemed to dominate the house made Haley stand. It wasn't a problem she could solve no matter how much she wanted to. The problem of Isaac though was one thing in her life she could make right.

"So can I borrow your car?" she asked.

Her mother nodded. Haley grabbed the keys and headed out of the house. The day was drifting into late afternoon. The smell of chlorine, barbecue grilling, and hot cement swam around the neighborhood. Shrieks of laughter were accompanied by the splash of water. The lightheartedness of it all seemed to contradict the maelstrom Haley felt caught in.

As she drove, she forced herself not to think. Before she could go back to being alone she needed to fix this. Some piece of her asked why if she was just going to be alone, but she ignored it. She needed to know that there was at least one thing in her life she could control.

As she was passing the high school, she made a split-second decision and turned into the parking lot. It was completely empty. The only signs that last night had even happened were the stray bits of napkins that were kicked up by the breeze.

Staring at the vacant lot and the untouched football field, Haley felt she could convince herself that maybe it had all been a bad dream. That somehow everything was okay. But the delusion didn't last long, Isaac's words piercing the notion.

As Haley went to put the car in reverse, she stopped, fear freezing her hand. What if he didn't listen? What if he shut the door in her face? What if even after she explained to him what happened, the pain didn't go away?

She slammed the steering wheel with her fist.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."

Each declaration timed with a hit. When her hand throbbed from the pain, she stopped. She cradled her fist to her chest and leaned her forehead on the wheel. She breathed in and out, the rubber digging into her skin.

She didn't know how long she stayed there, but when she eventually raised her head, the light had faded from the sky. She reversed and sat at the entrance to the parking lot, staring at the street to Isaac's house. The engine murmured, the vibrations of its voice the only sound in the car. Still, Haley didn't move. She was frozen to that one spot, forever torn between two decisions.

Finally, she crossed the road, heading into his neighborhood. The closer she got to his house, the more her heart pounded, until it was all she could hear. The quaint home came into view and Haley felt as if her body was seizing up. Woodenly, she parked by the front gate, but didn't move, couldn't.

Lights were already beaming out of the windows. She saw the silhouette of a figure cross behind the curtains. Swallowing the panic that was clawing at her throat, she climbed out and walked to the gate. It whined as she opened it. On the front porch, she raised her hand to knock but halted. A thousand terrible and crushing endings bombarded her making her immobile. Before she could flee, the front door was opened.

Isaac's mother smiled at Haley. Blinking herself out of her petrified state, Haley lowered her hand.

"Haley, I thought I saw someone drive up," Isaac's mother said.

Haley nodded, words failing her. Isaac's mother reminded framed by the doorway, showing no sign of welcoming Haley in. Fear rose in Haley, wondering if it was cause she knew what had happened the previous night and was protecting Isaac from Haley. As Haley went to blurt out her explanation, Isaac's mother spoke.

"If you came to see Isaac, I'm sorry," she said. "He's not here. He took Cal for a run just a few minutes ago."

"Oh." Haley felt the turmoil of emotions that she had been battered around by, stumbling and dissipating.

"I would offer to let you wait for him," Isaac's mother said, "but sometimes he's gone awhile depending on where he goes."

Shaking her head like it wasn't a big deal, Haley took a step back.

"Never mind."

"Do you want me to let him know you were here?" his mother asked.

"No, it's fine. Thank you."

With Isaac's mother still looking after her, Haley hurried to her car and drove off. Unable to make sense of the conflicting emotions of relief, loss, disappointment, and sadness, Haley flicked on her music hoping it could numb her out.

By the time she reached her house, her emotions were in tatters. The evening was giving way to night and windows glowed with yellow light and flashes of blue from tv screens. Passing Jace's house, Haley found herself looking at it and noticing that his bike wasn't at its normal spot on the curb. She tried to convince herself that again the loss of Jace was for the better.

It didn't work.

As she pulled the car into the driveway, she repeated that not seeing Isaac was for her own good. She could just leave it all behind and never think about it again. With each repetition, she believed it less and less.

Giving up the lost cause, she got out of the car feeling drained. She was at the front door when the sight of the light on in the living room made her pause. Puzzled, she peered in through the open window. What she saw made her blood turn to ice.

Hunched on the couch was her father, a suitcase at his feet. Her mother sat beside him, her face weary. As Haley inched closer, she heard her father speak. The resigned tone tore at her heart.

"I can't do this anymore, Tess."

**********************************************************************

Hold up! Hold up! Single File People!
*continues to hand out ice cream and tissues*

As you head to the armchairs that feel like a hug please leave behind your weapons and any emotions, thoughts, or exclamations you might have. Thank you. 👉🕳👈

Okay, well at least we all saw this coming. Not like it doesn't suck any less added with the fact that everything with Isaac is down the drain and...and Jace isn't talking to Haley either. *sniffs* I mean...it's just how life goes...*swallows hard* sometimes and we just have to be strong.

Oh who am I kidding! This is the worst!!! *falls on the floor crying* Poor Haley Day! Jace where are you! We need you!

*breathes deeply* Go to your happy place Joy, go to your happy place.

Random question that has no connection to what I just said, what is your happy place?

Mine is the beach, quiet and during a sunset. Cause you know I can't get anymore hopeless romantic than that.

Before you go, how pissed are you at me right now from a I'm-mildly-annoyed to I-would-rather-read-any-other-book-than-this-one-at-the-moment?

If you can have any pieces of your heart left then so ahead and vote, comment, follow.

Okay this has to make you smile!