as i step into that great unknown,
that rare chance to rewrite the past and start all over again,
i find it peculiar that i would settle for staying any place that guaranteed snow.
i'd set aside job placements, course syllabi, the great pie in the sky for a white december.

this endears me to you,
no one is truly immune from the dreamer's disease.
but would you laugh all the same if i ran north and never turned back? is it funny then, if the leaving sticks? if i finally stay someplace?

jumpers knit by god,
your unsteady hand seen in all.
con men and criminals and the crook of your neck,
lining up to take things from me.
this christmas day i squeeze many shoulders,
i feel many feelings.
none of it in control.

praying for snow has always been a fool's folly,
but my knees are solid on this ground.
and still i want to walk down the crowded street with you, a huddled mass.
i want to smile the specter's smile, and sneak into the deli while the snow catches tight in my hair.
everyman's halo shining bright, all the time in the world to say nothing and be okay with that.

i'd stay there. i'd stay there.