I was sitting still on the hospital bed, my legs spread out into front of me as I rested against the thin pillows behind my back.

Doctor Menroe's red hair  fell delicately around her heart shaped face, stray hairs peeking out the side of her face.

She looked up at me,"Remember we can always stop whenever you want."

"Okay." I wiped the palms of my hands over my pants.

"When were you assaulted?" She asked.

"At a frat party on Saturday." My voice was a bit shaky as I spoke.

"A frat party?" She repeated to herself, scribbling something in her notepad. "Were you under the influence of alcohol or any stimulants?"

"I was drinking, beer mostly."

"Did you take drinks from anyone you didn't know?" She asked.

"No, I only drank beer and a cup of  hennessey from a trusted friend."

I had always been careful, never taking drinks from stranger, never drinking from the punch bowl and always having atleast one trusted friend around me. You hear stories about girls getting taken advantage of at parties and you think, "That would never happen to me."

And then it does happen to you and you wonder if anyone is ever safe really. Careful or not, these things do happen.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I remember dancing with my friend and then walking over to the guy. . . I whispered something in his ear."

"If you weren't buzzed, would you have had sex with him?"

I looked down at my hands, itching to bite them, a habit I'd kicked years ago but it seemed to be resurfacing. "I wasn't that drunk, even if I was sober I n-never would have."

"Why not? You liked him, even wanted flirted with him. Why wouldn't you have slept with him?"

I closed my hand into a fist in anger at her words.

"Wilhem I'm sorry I may sound insensitive but I need to ask all these questions to make sure without a doubt that this is something you didn't want." She assured me as she saw how angry I'd become.

"I don't sleep with people I don't know." I meekly said.

"So you don't know this man?"

I scoffed at her use of the word man. David didn't deserve to be called one. "No, I don't know him. I've seen him around campus, I thought he was cute and that was it."

I remember the first time I saw him. His dark hair was covering half of his face as he made his way to his class, his eyes were a beautiful mixture of blue and grey. Girls and boys alike stared shamelessly, as I did, at him. He was like something out of dream, more of a nightmare now.

"You've never talked to him before?"

"No, never." I was now fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"You said you weren't that drunk, what do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I was drunk but I wasn't black out drunk. I was having fun and I was still pretty much cohesive."

"Do you think you could have been drugged."

"It's a possibility." I nodded. I hadn't really thought about it but that would explain a lot.

I didn't drink enough to black out and the massive headache I had the next morning could have been caused by a drug.

"Oh my god." I clasped my hand over my mouth.

"Wilhem, take a deep breath." I did as she said as her pale hands rubbed over my leg.

"Do you want to stop? We can take a break if you'd like."

"Yes please." I said.

She stood from her seat and moments later she came back with a cup of water for me. I was still mulling over the thought of having been drugged, possibly.

Did David drug me? When would that have even happened?

I shook my head, almost as if I wanted to shake the thought from my head. Trying to make sense of that night's events was hard enough without feeling like my chest was being ripped open and now this?

Maybe I was really that drunk after all. I took a gulp of the water she'd brought me.

"Are you ready to continue?" She tugged some of her hair behind her ear, resting the clipboard on her knee again.

"Yes."

"Have you told anyone about what happened?"

"I told a friend." The bitter memory sending bile up my throat.

"And how did they react?"

"She basically told me she didn't believe me and tried to make it seem like I wasn't actually raped." I spat.

How dare she?

"I'm sorry to hear that Wilhem." She sounded sincere. "After the assault have you had thoughts of harming yourself?"

"No, I haven't."

"Would you consider going to support group for other sexual assault survivors?"

"I'd be open to that"

I didn't believed that talking things through was good for healing but right now I was willing to try anything and, a support group didn't seem like a bad idea.

She scribbled some more information onto the clipboard and she pulled out a card from her breast pocket.

"This is the address of a support group in Foxdale and the name and phone number of the co-ordinator there." She handed the crisp white card to me.

I stretched my hand out to take it from her. "Thanks."

"Do you have anyone you can stay with when you go home?" She asked.

"My parents will probably insist I go home and stay there for a while with them so. . ."

"Last question, do you want to report what happened to you? We can do a rape kit right after this and-"

"That won't be necessary." I stopped her. I didn't want to have to try to convince a bunch of people that I was raped.

I don't want to have to see his smug face in court and hear him lie about it in front of so many people. I couldn't put myself through this.

She wore a sympathetic look on her face. "Wilhem I strongly advise-"

"Yeah, yeah. . ." I said, cutting her off once again. "Spare me the lecture."

"Okay, I understand." She flashed me a weak smile.

"From my evaluation you can go home as soon as you finish filling out the discharge forms. Seeing as how you'll be released into the care of your parents and you've decided to go to a support group I don't see any problem in releasing you."

I sat up on the bed and stood. I was ready to get out of here and she'd just given me the green light so I wasn't going to waste anymore time being here.

"Take care of yourself Wilhem."

"Thanks," I said before shaking her hand and going to look for my parents.

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author's note

Thanks for reading! Don't be a ghost reader and leave me a comment here and there to let me know what you think ;) I'd really appreciate the feedback.