Quite honestly, nothing my life goes right.

Every time I fail I think:

I am going to kill myself.

I can't do this anymore.

I can't take it.

Noooo I can't avoid this unless...

And every time the others tell me that is not right it gets worse.

That is just when 
I fail.

I act crazy and weird to push people away. I get so caught up in my dilemmas that I completely fail whatever I am doing.  I work hard to have little improvement. 

Every time someone tells me a struggle they are going through I think to myself:

SEE they have problems you are just whining. THEY don't ever sleep, their parents physically abuse them,  They lost someone to suicide. And What Am I? I only got bullied. I only lost one person. Go to sleep at 11 wakes up at 5? THEY HAVEN'T SLEPT ALL NIGHT. 

The teachers don't do shit about bullying. I whine and I cry AND YOU KNOW WHY? because I "need to grow a thicker skin." BECAUSE BEING BULLIED SICE 8 YEARS OLD DOES'T PEIRCE THE TOUGHEST OF SKINS. BEING TOLD YOU ARE THE DEVIL THEN LOSING YOUR FRIENDS THEN LOSING A LOVED ONE JUST MEANS YOU NEED TO BE TOUGHER.

When I smile my eyes sparkle. I have the brightest smile. The most believable. The problem is that it isn't my smile. It was so real that my friends thought I had no right to talk about depression because I always seemed happy. I am never happy. If you see me look away it isn't being lost in fantasy It is the sadness slipping through. 

I don't have depression I just have been crying for 4 years straight.

The qualifying time for depression is 2 weeks.

Here is a picture of a cat: