I was silent as we left the property, the van was filled with the chatter of others, anyway. My feline companion continuously whispered comforting phrases in my ear, along with his apologies for not saving me.

I eventually sighed and gazed at him, "Don't blame yourself, Kuro. There's nothing you could've done." He sighed as well, but he seemed to quiet down on the matter. My eyes were fixed out the window and I seemed to have saw the construction worker's signs before Yukio did.

"Pothole," I warned him anxiously, but he didn't register it in time. The wheel dipped and the kids in the van cried out in shock, but my cries were for a much different reason. My twin gave me a frightened look, but he turned back to the road quickly.

"Dammit! This is the fastest route to the academy, when did they start construction?" He sighed and rolled down his window, approaching a nearby laborer. "Excuse me, but what's the fastest detour to True Cross?" The man rambled off a series of landmarks and roads, stating that it would take us an extra ten minutes to return home.

I inwardly groaned, my skin was crawling and all I needed at the moment was a few hot showers. However, that didn't seem like a possible idea, at least for the next half an hour, or possibly longer.

Yukio sighed and thanked the man, pulling a u-turn and getting us on the right track home. "Unbelievable," he whispered under his breath, "why can't they do this kind of stuff when everyone's well asleep?"

I tried to sit back and relax a little, but as the miles went by, the pain in my body grew. We were just under fifteen minutes away when the road turned rocky. "Damn, why aren't they repaving this road," I heard Shima call from in back.

"Because the road we were on before is high traffic and a priority-gck!" The van ran over a particularly rough patch and my body cried out in pain.

"Christ, Okumura, your ass can't still hurt from falling on those stairs." Bon laughed from behind me and I sighed. "What'd you do? Drop the soap?" My eyes widened and I heard someone smack him.

"What's that mean?" Of course my book smart brother wouldn't know what that meant....

"Surprise sex," Shima said casually.

"What?"

"He's saying he got fucked in the ass." I almost choked when Izumo said the words so deadpanned, but it was also in fright when the van suddenly lurched forward. Yukio had touched the brakes a little too hard and had a disgusted look on his face.

"That's not funny," he scolded, but Bon and Shima seemed to think so. I was grateful when the conversation returned to normal, all mention of my name erased from the others' lips.

A few minutes passed and I heard Yukio put his blinker on, but we weren't supposed to turn for another few miles yet. I gave him a confused glance, but realized that we were only pulling up to a gas station.

He unbuckled his seatbelt, "will you guys excuse me for a moment?" Oh, he needed to use the bathroom. I simply sighed and folded my arms across my chest. The van door shut and I saw Yukio walk passed the front of the vehicle, but instead of going inside, he moved to open my door. I raised my eyebrows, but he had already unbuckled my seatbelt and dragged me halfway out of the van. Kuro jumped off my shoulder, taking my seat and stating something about keeping it warm.

"Calm down, sheesh!" I flinched as my feet hit the ground, but Yukio had no plans to do anything of such. He dragged me by my elbow to the inside of the gas station, passed the register, and into the lone bathroom. "What the hell, Yukio? You could've just asked..." I rubbed my arm through the sleeve and moved my eyes to glare at him, but his expression stopped me short.

He was shaking his head, a look of disbelief in his eyes. "Tell me it's not true."

"Okay, it's not true."

He shook his head harder, "no, be serious, Rin."

"How can I be serious if I have no idea what your talking about?"

He bit his lip and looked away, "did you 'drop the soap?'" I immediately tensed, my mouth moving but no noise coming out. Yukio ran his hands through his hair, "please, please tell me I'm overthinking this, but it all seems to coincide. The way you act at the monestary, your nightmares, your stomach ache." His eyes returned to me, flashing in realization. "For the love of God, please tell me it's not true."

"I-I don't know what to say," I muttered, hiding my trembling hands behind me. "You're tired, Yukio, I'm sure you're thinking things wrong."

"Don't." He demanded, but it was more of a plea. His feet neared me and I stumbled back against the wall. Fear constricted my chest, but for an entirely different reason than what I was used to. "Rin... my god, does he hurt you?" As soon as he said the words, he became even more panicked. "Does he touch you? Oh god, oh no." He brought his shaky hands up to hold my face so I couldn't look away, "Rin... answer me, please."

"I don't want to talk about it," I tried to wiggle from his grasp, but he only grew more desperate.

"Oh god, Rin, it's true, you're hiding it, you've been hiding it for..." his eyes flashed, "years..."

I shoved his hands away from me and they simply fell to his sides. "I don't wanna talk," my voice was shaking now and I absolutely hated it. My walls were breaking, no matter how fast I tried to rebuild them. I desperately tried to ignore the aching feeling inside my ribs, along with my pounding heartbeat. At a time like this, I almost wished I would slip into a state of numbness, so I didn't have to cope with these emotions. I ran my hands through my hair and tried to give Yukio a convincing look.

Yukio stared at me and slowly stared to shake his head, "I'm so sorry..." Fuck.

I broke.

"Don't apologize," I demanded, wiping the fresh tears from my eyes. With that statement, I knew it was over, I'd blown it all, now he knew and he was never going to forgive himself. I hadn't corrected him this entire time, he no doubt figured everything out. "Can we please just go home?" I hid my face, not wanting him to see me cry.

"No," he was firm, "we're going to the hospital."

"No!" I cried, snapping my eyes up to meet his. "No one can know, he'll find out!" My heart was racing at an uncomfortable rate, and no amount of breathing seemed to work. I felt weak, both physically and mentally, my knees were even starting to wobble.

Yukio wiped his own tears and then wrapped me in an hug, I was shaking violently and he seemed to grow extremely nervous about that. "Please calm down, Nii-san, everything's going to be okay." He sniffled and hushed me, but I just couldn't soothe my anxiety.

"No one can know," I whispered brokenly, my brain was practically fried after everything that had happened today. I just wanted to go home.

"Rin... we have to get help," I cried harder and he wiped my tears. After a minute, I had stifled them to a few sniffles, but my body was still wracked in tremors.  "Come here," his voice soothed and he grabbed some paper towel to wipe my tears with. I took a calming breath and he ensured that I was okay before taking my hand and exiting the bathroom.

The cashier said a lazy goodbye before we exited the gas station, the sight of the van making me grow uneasy. Yukio helped me into the vehicle and got in himself, the cram school kids were abuzz asking what had happened and why we seemed so ragged.

"We're taking another detour, I'll take you guys back to the academy afterward."

"Where are we going, Yuki?" Shiemi's voice was soft and caring, but it didn't seem to calm my brother's anguished mood.

"The hospital."

More questions followed, but none were answered. I simply stared out my window, my brain and body numb. I felt Kuro nudge me, "did you tell him?" I shook my head, "so he guessed?" I sighed and he got the hint, but not without saying a few more words, "things can only get better now."

No, things could seriously get worse if they wanted to. Just because I was involving more people didn't mean I was necessarily safe. I sighed again and rubbed my eyes, the street signs passed by at a higher speed than normal and I didn't doubt that Yukio was speeding. Finally, his anxious behavior was eating at me, "can you please calm down?"

"No."

"Yukio... getting there a little later isn't going to hurt anyone." A speed limit sign whirled passed and I noted how he was going fifteen miles over it.

"The longer it takes to get there, the longer you're suffering." He was gritting his teeth and his tone was curt, but I knew he was hiding his emotions behind a barrier. I knew all too well what it was like to do that.

I sighed, "Suffering? If you're seriously going to call it that, fine. Though I highly doubt I can be put in the same category as those in third world countries with famine and inequality." He didn't seem to appreciate my comments, but he was dragging me places I never wanted to be, he can deal with my bitching. "And I highly doubt a hospital can end my 'suffering,' it'll be there tomorrow, next week, and years after that." I shoved my elbow against the window and leaned my chin against my palm, "I can never outrun this, so just learn to deal with it like I do."

He remained silent, but Kuro wasn't about to be silenced by my lecture. "Rin, just because things aren't going as you planned doesn't mean you have to become bitter. Yukio knows now, and there's nothing you can do to change it. Let's just go to the hospital and things will get figured out from there."

I glared at him, "no they won't, Kuro. Thing are going to change, and just because you think they will get better, doesn't mean they will. Change isn't a good thing, not in this case." I huffed, fear was coursing through my veins, but it felt immensely different than the fear I associated with Father Naito. It wasn't a fear for my wellbeing or pain, it felt a lot more personal. It made me feel uneasy and guilty for unknown reasons, and it seemed to make me irrational as well.

I stared out the window, emotions clawing at my throat and chest. I had a nagging voice in my head, telling me to get out of this situation, no matter how dangerous it could be. My fingers fidgeted on the armrest of the door, my eyes trailing to the handle. I could dodge out of the vehicle, and with how fast we were moving, it would take a few moments for Yukio to stop and return to where I landed. By that time, I could run away, we were on the very outskirts of True Cross, so there were a few miles of trees to hide amongst.

Or... I glanced over at my twin, his body was tense and his eyes were barred, yet ablaze with emotion. I could duck out of the van, but with how fast we were going, I highly doubt I'd make it out unscathed. The time I could use to run off, maybe... maybe I could end this. That way, no one would have to worry about me. Hell, the cram school kids were giving up their Friday night to go to the hospital for something they didn't even know about. They didn't deserve to be dragged into something like this, and neither does Yukio.

I bit my lip and my fingers inched closer to the handle, the smooth surface becoming tainted by my clammy hand.

"Nii-san, what are you thinking about?" Tunnel vision I hadn't know I'd had suddenly vanished, the sound of my twin's voice breaking through my reality. I blinked and shifted my gaze over to him, his eyes quickly darted away from the road to meet mine, worry shining through. "Are you... having a flashback or something?"

"Oh... no." I blinked again and moved my eyes to the road, my fingers slipping away from the door handle. I realized that we were in the heart of True Cross now, and multiple signs signaled a hospital to our right. My heart thudded even faster and I swallowed hard. "We're here?"

I didn't even hear anyone answer me over the pounding inside my ears. Closing my eyes, I took deep breaths, desperate to make my body calm down. The last thing I needed was to pass out in front of a hospital.

"Nii-san? Nii-san, are you okay?" I vaguely felt someone shaking my shoulders and I blinked rapidly to clear my muddled vision. Teal eyes assessed me from my open door, his expression sent daggers into my heart and I glanced around to keep myself from breaking down. We were parked, and the looming building in front of us would no doubt cause me an immense amount of grief. I returned my gaze to Yukio, noticing how the cram school kids were crowded behind him. "Are you okay?" He repeated and I nodded meekly, but I honestly wasn't even sure.

He grabbed my hands and started to gently pull me from my seat, but I couldn't feel my legs. Everything was numb, even my heartbeat was muddled, and time was moving way too fast. "Come on..." he said gently, his hands felt cold against mine, but I welcomed his touch. I took a few deep breaths before touching my shoes to the ground and standing up.

"Okay, let's get this over with."

That moment when you know people will STILL be pissed off at Yukio. "Why is he still so unemotional?" *sigh*