Please let me know if you guys enjoy these types of videos while reading chapters. As a musical person, I can't focus when I hear beautiful instrumentals, but I know some people love to listen to music. Anyway!

There was a banging sound and I heard the curtain move violently. I blinked myself out of my trance, hearing a sharp intake of breath. I shifted, moving my body so I could face my visitor

"Nii-san!" In a blur, the figure moved and my body was engulfed in warmth. I blinked a few mores times and recognized his cologne. "Oh my god!" His voice was strained and he sounded on the verge of tears. I felt my chest twist uncomfortably and my voice came out hoarse.

"Nii-chan, I'm sorry..." I swallowed hard and Yukio pulled away from me.

"Promise me!" His eyes flashed with unbridled emotions, pained ones that made me flinch with guilt. "Promise me you'll never do something as idiotic and reckless as this! If you have a problem, you come to me! Don't drown yourself out in whatever you can get your hands on, dammit!" His expression turned troubled, "we are brothers, did you not hear me before? I'm always here for you, through thick and thin!" Again, his features changed, his words were stubborn, "promise me!"

His words sent shock waves through me and I became paralyzed. His hands released my torso and grasped my face, keeping me from hiding my shame. He forced me to look at him and I saw the hell he'd been out through. Regret shot through me and I felt tears falling down my cheeks. "I promise," I sounded pathetic, but I was entirely sincere. "I don't know what I was thinking. I saw the news and, "I breathed shakily, "I called you but you didn't answer." Memories flooded my vision and I clutched onto his arms "I was so scared, Nii-chan! I still am, but at least you're here now." He'd said something similar before I'd blacked out, God, how long has it been? I pushed that from my mind, "I ran to the academy, I don't know why, but I just needed to do something. And the thunder," I recalled the rattling sound and my utter lack of judgement, "I think it was hard enough to knock the pills to the floor. I just stopped thinking then." I paused, realizing that I was rambling. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." His eyes flashed in sorrow and I hurried to soothe him. "I promise you, I'll never do anything like this again!"

He sighed and pulled me to him, "I could've lost you... I could've actually lost you."

My heart twisted, "I'm so sorry. Nii-chan, I love you so much."

He didn't hesitate to answer, "I love you, too, Nii-san." His fingers combed through my messy hair and I was immediately comforted. "I'm... so happy that you're okay."

"I promise you." I put as much conviction into the words as possible, because I couldn't be any more honest.

.oOo.

It was decided that Yukio would spend the night with me, and I was relieved. I didn't want him out of my sight, not now that I almost lost him. One of the nurse's came in and asked if we'd eaten and told us that she'd bring us some dinner. When it arrived, Yukio ate quietly, staring out the window and emptying his applesauce cup.

"I haven't seen you dress normally in quite awhile," he said randomly and I huffed.

"Where did that come from?"

"It's just this setting, I guess," he turned his eyes to me, the soft light from my bedside lamp reflecting off his irises. "That hospital gown isn't really your style." He sighed and set his empty food cartons on an end table. "You're wardrobe is mainly skinny jeans and band tees."

"And? Is there a problem with that?" I shifted in bed, vaguely aware that I wasn't in any pain. Swallowing a dozen opioids really does the trick on squashing any nerve pain, doesn't it? I pulled my blanket up a little higher, getting comfortable for a conversation.

His teal eyes moved away from mine, assessing our surroundings. "No, you're a polar opposite of me, which is refreshing sometimes. However, I can't stop thinking about what your life would be like if this never happened."

"I think my love for dark humor and dank memes would've blossomed no matter my past."

He snorted, "dank memes?" He shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes, "I wish I could change the past," he suddenly whispered.

"Hey, hey," I moved forward on my bed, inching closer to him. "Everyone on this planet wishes that they could change the past, but it all a part of life."
He still seemed upset, "even if we are directly responsible for ten percent of what happens to us; the remaining percentage isn't anyone's fault at all - that's how this world works."

He gave me a surprised look, "are you writing poetry?!" However, he sighed, "I suppose you're right, but that doesn't make me feel any better." He turned to me, "how have you survived this burden for nine years? I've been barely holding myself together for the past week, it's absolutely astounding what you've done."

"Don't flatter me about that, I don't really take any pride in that." My rubbed the fabric of the blanket between my fingertips, "to be honest, I don't know how I managed to hide it. It certainly didn't come naturally, because there were dozens of times I nearly broke when it first started happening."

Yukio slouched in his chair, "I wish I'd known..."

I swallowed hard, "well... I did... try to... never mind."

He sat up immediately, "what do you mean? You told me before and I didn't believe you?" He looked horrified, his tired eyes growing wide.

I rushed to correct him, "I didn't tell you, but I tried to."

"When, what did you say?"

I remained silent, averting my gaze, "I don't really want to talk about it, it's in the past." I've used that phrase previously, and it had gotten me nowhere, however, this time, it seemed to calm the situation.

"Alright, I won't push anything." I blinked and stared at him, he was really dropping the subject? "I should've listened to you better," he stated and I snapped out of my thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair, which had become a mop throughout the evening. "I was so focused on keeping you safe and keeping myself together that I neglected you." I was about to protest but he spoke up again, "I should've asked less questions and let you speak freely, let you breathe."

"You know, if you never asked those questions, I would've shut you out completely." I watched as he sighed, his eyes wandering out the window and to the starry sky.

"I don't know, I feel guilty, you know? Because all of this could've been avoided somehow, and that somehow is me being a better brother." I rustled under my covers, pushing the blanket off of me and dangling my legs over the edge of my bed. The tile was cold against my bare feet as I walked over to his seated position. He glanced up at me just as I slid into his lap, lying my head against his chest and relaxing.

"This could've been avoided many different ways, like I said, it can't be helped. I could've spoken up more, but I didn't, instead, I bottled everything up to keep you happy."

His chest rumbled as he hummed, "yeah, and now both of us are unhappy. I think we need to work on our communication skills." Slowly, I felt his arms wrap around me, and his voice was soft when he spoke next, "you're too good at hiding what you truly feel, Nii-san."

"I wouldn't say that, I think I'm mediocre at best, like I'm barely skating by."

He huffed, "no, it seems to be the law of the universe: the ones with the brightest smiles and loudest laughs, seem to having the most horrifying childhoods."

"Sometimes I pretend that I'm okay, because I don't want to annoy anyone with my problems. Smile, and no one will see how broken you are inside." I felt him flinch and I quietly apologized. There was a moment of silence between us, "Yukio, I wish Dad was here."

"Oh, Rin, I do, too."

"Why didn't you tell me that he was.... yeah?"

I felt him sigh deeply, "Naito?" I nodded, "I planned on it, but I didn't really have a good way to talk about it." His arms tightened around me, "it's been less than a week and I didn't want to break you with something like that."

"Is that why you were acting weird on Tuesday?"

"Yeah, I got a call in the middle of class, Sensei was pissed, but it was from the court. You know he's not allowed in True Cross, right? And he's only able to roam around until his next court date." I did not, in fact, know that bit of information. I'm sure if I'd known, we wouldn't be here in the hospital, musing about our lives.

"... You said the possibility of him not going to prison was slim," I lifted my head and looked him in the eyes, "what happened?"

He held his breath for a moment before letting it go with a gust, his shoulders falling. "The jury was torn, he was such a recognized member of society, and a man of God. A good portion of jurors seemed apprehensive about his charges."

I sighed and laid my head back down, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. "When's his re-trail?"

"Monday. There will be a fresh jury and a verdict will be announced." He must have sensed my anxiety because he added on, "he will go to prison."

"How do you know?" My voice was quiet and I felt my muscles starting to tense, if this was anything like before, then this was the warning of a panic attack. "Yukio...."

"Shhh, breathe," he hugged me close and I took a deep breath. "The previous jury may not have come to a decision, but they knew one thing for a fact; he was guilty." I clenched my teeth and he rubbed soothing circles on my back. "The evidence is too strong for him to get away with this," he took a breath, and a sensed a small amount of agitation. "There was his DNA found inside of you, along with evidence of a struggle and forced entry." He cleared his throat, obviously struggling to talk normally. "When he was questioned, his alibi kept changing. The police also checked his body for marks, which they didn't find none."

"I couldn't touch him."

"I know, I know, he's a vile human. However, when they took forensics, there was skin under his fingernails, along with some blood." He hugged me impossibly tighter and sighed, "I'm never gonna let you go, you know that?"

I breathed deeply, grateful for the change of subject, "I wouldn't complain, to be completely honest." I shifted in his lap, burying my face in his neck, "I remember a point when my life was void of any loving touch, and it's not a time I'm fond of. I much prefer this warmth over that loneliness."

"I remember that, you'd flinch any time I'd come within arms length, what happened to change that?"

I sighed into his shirt, his exorcist jacket was draped on the back of his chair. "You made me promise."

"I'm damn glad that I did."

I tilted my head up slightly, seeing his face from an angle, the moonlight casting soft shadows over his features. "You know what," he hummed, eyes flickering down for a moment. I saw behind the teal orbs and noticed how content he was at the moment, "I am, too."

He smiled and returned to his stargazing, "I never thought you'd say that."