December 21, 1944

Nixon's expression told them everything they needed to know when he returned to the CP a few hours after lunch. He'd gone for a walk up to Easy's First Platoon. Not ten minutes later, frantic calls for a jeep to the Easy CP had jolted the Battalion radio op from his musings. Alice felt like her heart was going to explode, not knowing who had been hit or how bad.

"What happened?" Dick demanded.

Nixon shook his head. He looked furious. "Peacock's patrol ran into the German line. Private Julian got hit and they couldn't reach him. Then Smith got hit. They called a Jeep and Doc Roe sent him into Bastogne." He shook his head. After taking a drink of his flask, he gestured in the general direction he'd come from. "They all looked... like hell. Sergeant Martin took over, pulled them back. Heffron didn't take it well."

It took all her strength for Alice not to insist on going up to Easy. That made three casualties for First Platoon in one day: Skinny, Julian, Smith. Two wounded, one Killed in Action. So Alice just turned to Dick, silent. He stood thinking and then met her gaze.

"You want to go up." He didn't ask it, he knew. "I'll go, too. I'll get the full report from Martin."

"Right," Nixon said.

It didn't take long for her and Dick to both get their gear together. They traveled with sidearms and rifles, and they traveled in silence. Soon they were approaching Easy's CP, which seemed now to be full of First Platoon's men.

The first thing to stick out to Alice was how quiet they were. First Platoon usually had plenty of noisemakers, between George and Skip, Malarkey, and Alex. Even the quieter guys in First were never silent. But now, now they were silent. They'd been outside Bastogne for less than a week, and her friends had already been reduced to painful silence.

As Dick went straight over to Johnny, who stood on the outside of the circle of seated men, watching them, Alice stayed away. Her gaze darted over the men, trying to figure out where to begin picking up the pieces. And there were a lot of pieces.

Gene sat outside the group, watching them all the same way she did. Except she noticed he lingered on Babe. She followed his gaze and understood why immediately. The usually untroubled young man had his legs near his chest, his face buried in his hands over his knees. Her mind took her to the previous day, when she'd sat with him and Julian. Tears filled her eyes, but she forced them down. She couldn't grieve. Not yet, at least.

Dick moved to sit in the circle, setting up next to Bull. He didn't say anything, just sat with them. Alice figured this whole thing hurt Dick deeply, as he couldn't afford to be as close to the men he'd trained as he could've as their CO.

She found George smoking, sitting quietly against a tree with his forty pound radio next to him. Not even a hint of a smile graced his features. Skip had taken up a spot perpendicular to him on the same tree. He didn't smoke, just closed his eyes and lay his head back. Malarkey and Alex sat in the circle. Pat Christenson smoked next to Hoobler.

The decision to walk away tore her apart, but she knew they all needed time to just process the patrol before she could try to help. So Alice backed away. Instead, she decided to check on the men not involved in the patrol. She started with Third Platoon, and ignoring the ache in her stomach from missing dinner, she eventually wrapped around to Second.

Walking up to Toye as he muttered a frustrated and somewhat defeated "fuck" into the darkness of the Ardennes trees pretty much summed up how she felt. He didn't notice her at first.

"Hey, Joe," she whispered.

He swiveled around to look at her. With a sigh he shook his head. "You here to harass me, too?"

"What?" Alice came over to him and shook her head. "Who's harassing you?"

He groaned and looked in a different direction. "Doc."

"Well, Doc would only harass you if it kept you safe," she reminded him. Sitting next to him on the edge of his foxhole, she shook her head. "So, what'd you do?"

"What?"

As she shifted her rifle into her arms for safety she just shrugged. "What'd you do to make Gene harass you?"

"My fucking boots got hit by a shell. Now I got trench foot," he growled. "And before you say anything about me comin' off the line, I ain't comin' off."

She hummed thoughtfully. With a small shrug, Alice just continued to stare off towards where she knew the OP sat, and beyond the OP, the German line. "Good," she finally said. "We need you up here."

Joe turned to her immediately. Clearly she'd caught him off guard. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Alice sighed, and massaged her forehead for a moment. "I'm worried about Babe. And all of First."

Joe nodded. He and all of Second Platoon had heard about the failed patrol from Buck after dinner. As he tried to work at his foot, get it to move a bit more, he sighed again. "They'll be fine. Babe's tough. He's from Philly after all."

A tiny, half-hearted laugh escaped her. "Yeah. And you know what they're like."

"Fucking tough as nails."

Alice broke into a smile at his comment. With a small shake of her head as she still grinned, Alice looked away from him, out into the dark. She yawned.

"So, you talk to them yet?"

"Who?" Then she shook her head. "Oh, First. No. They needed space, so I've been making my way around the rest of Easy." Then she looked around in confusion. "Hey, have you seen Dike? I don't think I've seen him at all today."

Joe scoffed. "Fucking Foxhole Norman? No. Thank God. Feed him to the Germans, make everybody happier."

For a brief moment, Alice just stared at him in surprise. Then she broke out into a fit of giggles. The mental image was too good.

"Missed that, around here."

"Missed what?"

He gestured to her with his wet sock, trying to dry it. "You out here. I'd rather take orders from you than Dike, that's for sure. At least you were properly trained."

At first she just shook her head with a smile. "Not a huge compliment, but I'll take it." Then, as her smile fell, she shook her head. "Thanks. For what it's worth, I'd rather be out here with Easy."

"Never said you were smart," he admitted.

"Says the man who won't come off the line with trench foot!"

He smirked and shook his head. "Another reason we should feed Dike to the Germans. You got pushed out cause 'a him."

"I was-"

"Promoted? Fucking right. You were promoted in the way Sobel got promoted. You got promoted to get you out of his way. Guess he saw you as a threat."

She fell quiet. Around them, they heard sporadic and distant machine gun fire from other areas on the line. Beyond that, there were no birds and no bugs and barely a breeze. The snow blanketed the world. With a tiny smile, she shrugged. "Not bad for a 'fucking nazi broad,' huh."

His eyes widened. Joe Toye looked down into his foxhole. But she just shook her head and nudged him.

"I don't hold Toccoa against any of you. But, it does serve as a reminder to me that I am always going to be second, at least in the beginning. And honestly, as long as I'm left alone to do my job, that's ok. I'm not here to fight to be recognized," she insisted. After a bit more silence, she moved to stand up. "Well, I should go check on First. I told Winters I'd be staying up here for the night."

He nodded and pointed down the line. "Doc went off that way looking for Babe, if you want him."

Alice looked in the direction he pointed. After a brief pause, she shook her head. "No, Gene can handle it. I'll go find Johnny."

"Right."

She turned around. "Oh, Joe."

"Yeah?"

"I will pull you off the line if you don't take care of yourself," she said.

He rolled his eyes. "Fuck off."

Alice just laughed. As she hurried off towards First Platoon, she wandered into Lipton. He gave her directions to Johnny's hole. It didn't surprise her to see him sitting up, awake, smoking at a cigarette. When she walked over, he glanced up.

"Alice."

"Johnny."

She didn't wait for an invitation before slipping into the hole as well. For his part, Johnny didn't comment, just watched her. Pulling out a Lucky Strike, she lit with a flick of her lighter and then settled back, closing her eyes. She could feel the cold getting under her skin again. Now that she'd stopped walking around, her face began to chill again, losing the warmth of exercise.

"How're they doing," Johnny asked a minute later. "Since I assume that's why you're up here."

"What, I can't just come up here for fun?" she muttered. When he didn't respond, she opened her eyes and looked over. "I actually wanted to ask you that. I managed to get around to Second and Third, but I figured you guys could use some time without me hanging around."

Johnny didn't respond right away. "We couldn't get to him. Babe tried, but we couldn't."

"I'm sorry."

"This fucking war," he muttered. Then he turned her way. "Heard anything about Skinny?"

She shook her head. "Sorry, no."

They fell back into silence. Alice allowed the smoke to fill her lungs, trying to gain some small amount of warmth and calm from it. The darkness all around them evoked a strange dichotomy of emotions for Alice. On the one hand, the silent night calmed her, on the other, it felt oppressively threatening. She eventually turned his way again.

"You okay, Johnny?" she asked, voice low.

He turned to her in surprise. After a moment, he took his finished cigarette from his mouth and threw it against the other side of the foxhole. "I'm sick of seeing these fucking kids get hit and get killed," he muttered. "Sick of it."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Yeah, me too." After several quiet moments, she looked at him again. Alice shrugged. "But, at least they've got a leader like you. You lead them better than any of the officers, except maybe Buck," she added with a small smile.

Johnny sighed. "Yeah, if we could get some fucking competent officers, that'd be nice. Buck's the only one left."

"Well, Dick still looks out for Easy as he can," she reminded him. "Nixon, too. And Harry whenever possible." Her heart constricted. "And, I'm doing what I can."

"The fact that you even make an effort to talk to the kids is proof enough," he reminded her. "Half the Toccoa men won't even look at 'em. I saw ya talking to Julian and Babe yesterday. How are you doing?"

Alice's voice faltered. She took her cigarette out and let the smoke form a cloud in the cold. Then she shrugged. "I'm alright."

He watched for a few more seconds before shrugging. "I assume you won't be diggin' your own hole? Better not kick me in your sleep if you're staying."

Alice snorted. "I'd go find another one but I'd hate to leave you all alone."

The look that Johnny flashed her even through the dark made her laugh. But as she grabbed the blanket of whoever had shared this foxhole previously, she just shook her head. "Reminds me a bit of D-Day."

"You're insane, you know that?"

She laughed, still facing the other direction, all wrapped up. "You're talking to a German woman fighting the German Army with a bunch of paratroopers. Not sure this was even a debate."

Hearing Johnny laugh made her smile, however short and harsh the laugh was. Soon enough, the two of them quieted down. Alice hoped she'd get some sleep. All she really wanted was to dream of home.