Im so sorry about the delay guys.... I'm so sorry, so here's a long update to make up for it. I don't know whether its any good.
Please enjoy, and thanks again for all you valuable comments.

.........

"Nishaan... beta... utto... utto baby please..."

Avni shook her son gently with frown that was worried sick. Nishaan held his hands out, still half asleep, adorably asking his mumma to take him in to her arms. She complied with a sigh and a smile, cradling him close to her chest and rocking him until he was fully awake.

Her eyes filled with painful tears, as beautifully bitter memories curdled in her stomach. She recalled how Neil would pull her back in to his arms and cuddle to her and hide his face in her chest, while
mumbling something about not wanting to wake up making her giggle and kiss his hair.

Nishaan looked agonisingly like his father, the same charming eyes, the same quirky cute antics, the same love. It was almost unbearable.

"Mumma its so early and its Saturday... why did you wake me up mumma..." he whined sweetly making her chuckle.

"Aaj tum DD mamu ki ghar jaane wala hai... nahi jaana chati tum?" She knew she couldn't hide Nishaan from Neil forever but she didn't want to accept it, all she knew was she couldn't face it today.

"Mamu ka ghar! Yay!" He started jumping like crazy all over the bed in excitement and then stopped short with a guilty face.

"Kya hua mera baccha?"

"I'm not allowed to jump on the bed..."

She laughed at how obedient he was, just like Neil was... she shook her head.

"Koi baat nahi... do whatever you like beta"

She dressed him up quickly, brushing his hair and tying his laces while admiring him lovingly.

"Aaja..."

She lifted him up and took him downstairs and out the house quietly and stealthily, it was way to early for anybody else to be up. She slipped the key in to the lock single handedly and made her way out.

She cried softly, as they were hit by the cold wind because all the night's events slapped her round the face again. The anger and pain in his eyes were because of her, she thought surely that should have made her feel satisfied that he felt what he had put her through, then why was her heart breaking.

"Mumma are you crying?" Nishaan frowned as he wiped the droplets off her face. She pulled on a smile, pushing the hair of his face.

"No baby... maybe its just starting to rain..." Nishaan still looked puzzled, as if the excuse didn't convince him. "Hey look! We are here..."

The excitement made him forget everything as he ran to DD who she had called earlier and accepted to look after Nishaan, no questions asked.

After Neil left, DD understood her situation immediately and although there were loads of things she chose not to tell him, and he didnt push it either, he was always there to help them both, no matter how busy he was with work or with his wife and child.

"Chotu!" DD threw him up in to the air and caught him and spun him around as Nishaan giggled cutely... "andar aaja beta... avantika has been waiting to see you since morning"

Avni smiled as she watched them walk inside.

........

Avni clicked the lock of the room behind her as she turned to glare at him, with a fiery gaze. She bit back her tongue, lots of words were at the tip of it, words she would regret.

"Nishaan kaha hai Avni?"

"Mein usko DD ka ghar chood ke aaya hai. Aaj usko school nahi hai." She snapped back, her face expressionless.

"Didn't I tell you to keep Nishaan away from DD's family?" His tone was stern and assertive and she couldn't read the expression in his eyes and she chose to ignore it.

"Gaurav we need to talk" She started with a worried frown just to be cut off by a tone so cruely happy. "Neil-"

"What a beautiful coincidence right?"

She narrowed her eyes, tears blurring her sight. She pointed at him furiously, accusation darkening her eyes and her heart racing.

"Its not a coincidence!" She screamed out in rage, her eyes burning in tears she refused to let herself cry. "How could you let him- how could you let him come back?"

"Why does it matter to you anyway!? He's your past right? Mein hu tumhara aaj, mein hu tumhara kal!" He yelled back at her matching her volume and making her jump a little in surprise.

"Gaurav you know thats not why I am angry..." She quietened a bit but her voice was trembling with the pain that ran through her veins. "Tell him we can't keep him here! Tell him there's no space! Let him go... please!"

"Nah..." Gaurav says as he stood up and sauntered closer toward her, close enough that she shrivelled back in discomfort. "But you realise how much fun I'm going to have with this right?"

Her eyes rounded in fear.

She shivered as he tucked her hair behind her ear and the breath hitched in her throat, her guts churning. He grinned as he looked back at her before leaving the room.

"Your Mrs Avni Ayesha Gaurav Dewaan now, tell your ex not to forget that"

The door slammed closed behind him.

She shut her blood shot eyes as she panted and her head fell in to her hands. She weeped freely, her whole body shaking incontrollably.

She couldn't help but imagine how Neil would have held her up and let her cry in to his shirt as she clung to him tightly, hiding away in his arms where the ugly world couldn't hurt her.

...

She walked down the stairs, her eyes rimmed red and dazed in thoughts she were lost in. As she reached the last step, her foot slid and she tumbled down. Her eyes automatically closing to brace herself for a fall.

Her eyes shoot open as she feels his hands gripping to her bare waist, sparks electrifying her skin. Her rounded eyes glanced at him who frowned in concern, scanning her up and down as if checking her for injuries.

"Tum ko abhi bhi dekh kar chal nahi sakthi" There was a small wistful smile on his face, his eyes brimming with tears.

She bit her shivering lips trying to hold herself back, she peeled his hands of her. His eyes shatter, his hands falling limply at his sides as harrowing hurt cut through him like a blade.

"I'm fine." His lips parted but she cut him off before he could say anything more, the agonising anguish in his eyes was insufferable but now she had become immune to pain.

"Avni..." He calls painfully, hearing her name from his lips sounded like silky nectar coating her tongue, it stung to ignore it. She walked past, their shoulders brushing longingly.

Neil closed his eyes in an attempt to console himself, his eyes stinging with tears and heart pulsating in torment yet somehow stimultaneously ceasing to beat completely in shocking affliction.

....

He walked in to the kitchen to pull together something or another for breakfast, he was never in the mood to eat anything these days. He stopped walking as his eyes fell on her and softened in awe.

She looked so stunning as she stood working in the kitchen, over the years she had become a good cook, she had to learn to fend for herself. Her eyebrows frowned, and her glittering eyes were narrowed adorably in concentration. Her hair was knotted in to a casual bun and strands fell out tickling her soft skin and teasing him. The pallu of her saree was tucked in for ease, bearing the milky skin of her bare stomach. His fist clenched in possesiveness and anger.

'how could she walk like this freely in this house with another man? What if he stared at my wife with those filthy eyes? What if he-' He had to stop himself, he torturously reminded himself that he didn't have that right anymore, that she wasnt his anymore.

He sat down on the chair by the counter before he could collapse to the ground because of his weaking knees. He sighed heavily, dragging his hand through his hair in an attempt to control himself from showing the way he was crumbling. How losing her crushed him, how seeing her with someone else cut through him like blade.

She placed a covered plate in front of him, as quickly as bullet, not even sparing a second to glance at him. He looked down at in confusion, tearing away the clingfilm and peeking in.

His mouth gaped open, pure joy brightening his face and happy tears glazing over his eyes. Fresh, steaming poha sat in front of him, its aroma salvating him tongue. He ached so badly to taste something made by her hands for so many years, that seeing it front of him wrenched his heart.

Avni knew he couldn't make breakfast himself and how much he loved her poha and she couldn't stop herself from caring for him, no matter how much she chanted that she despised him now. She admires his happiness as eat his first spoon out of the corner of his eye.

She jumped as he suddenly crumbles in to deafening cries, his jaw quivering and body rattling. He hid his head in his hands like he was a small child again yet failed to conceal his suffering. His eyes bore brutal agony and guilt that murdered him, he couldn't hold himself back after tasting her food, memories consumed him, memories that were so happy that they were excruciating.

It was unbearable to watch him in this state, it stabbed at her ruthlessly. All she wanted was to hold him to her chest, let him cry to his hearts content in her arms, nestling in the nook of her neck as she shushed him until his heartbreaking sobs turned in to heavy sleepy breathing and she kissed him until it healed him and herself.

He choked back the sobs that stuck at the back of his thoat and swallowed them down, he didn't want to let her see him so vulnerable, so volatile. She used to see him so brave and courageous, he didn't want her to see that it all changed once she left.

"Avni mere liye paratha bana dega?" His voice was tiny and gentle. He lifted his eyes to meet hers, slowly as if he was scared.

"Paratha?" She burrowed her brows in puzzlement, and surprise that he even adressed her. "But I can't make parathas without burning them?"

"Exactly..." He laughed but it was strained with hurt. Nobody could burn parathas like she could, he didnt feel like eating anything if it wasn't made by her hands, because whatever she made (burnt or not) tasted ravishingly delicious because of the love in her hands, the love he had missed miserably.

"Neil-" Her face suddenly went serious, stress lines adorning her forehead, his eyes sparkled hearing his name leaving her lips. "You can't stay here..."

Shock melted in to the cracks between his broken eyes. "Avni... look you know I-"

"Neil..." she was exasperated, her eyes pleading for him just to accept her request. "Please just listen to me... please, just leave from this house, from my house"

"Avni... wait-"

"Neil. Dont you get it!?" Her scream made his heart skip a few beats in fear and surprise. "Just get lost!"

At that it went silent. She saw the hurt pierce his eyes, the tears on the verge of falling. His parted lips of utter and absolute shock.

But she didn't stop there, however much she wanted to, however much her heart begged her mind to stop. She carried on, because she couldn't afford to stop, it was for his own good.

"Just get lost! I don't want you back in my life... I don't want you to hurt me again and again... Neil I can't take it... - After you left, i finally made it all better and now...
Now you're going to ruin my life!"

Silence again.

Silence of absolute shock. The only sound was her hyperventilating, he didn't even let himself to take a breath. She could seeing his heart crushing as he weakens suddenly as if he was shot. But the pain was much more severe then a bullet.

"Avni..." he whispered, so weak and fragile that she wanted to pull him in to a huge bear hug right then and there. " I can't lose you again... I-"

She hated seeing that pain curl his lips and slump his shoulders, she hated how much it hurt her to see agony in his eyes.

"I'm married now." The tone of finality in her voice echoed in his ears, raging up a merciless storm in his heart.

"Tum shaadi kar li tho iska matlab sab kuch katam?!" He bellowed in the blinding anguish that hit him in the chest repeatedly at her words, she cowered a little getting reminded of their last encounter. "Humara beech kuch nahi hai abhi? Koi rishta nahi!? Koi pyaar nahi?! Humara pyaar itna hi tha? Itni jaldi se, itni aasaane sab kuch thoot gaya? Sab kuch bool diya?!

Now absolutely terrified fear filled his big eyes that darkened intensely with the emotion, now the small shattered child in him was bluntly evident.

"Tum ab- ab- ab tum mujse pyaar nahi karthi...?

She opened her mouth but she couldn't say it, she couldn't say that she didn't love him. She couldn't say it because of the way he was staring at her, of all those memories she cherished, because of the son they shared, because of how much she does... she does love him even though she doesnt want to.

She folds her hands and as she stares at him imploringly, begging between her chunky sobs that struck his heart like a hammer panging his chest, the pain amplifying as her crying escalated.

"Please Neil... Neil meri baat suno please... I can't- be with you now- I can't remember you now... I'm married and I have a-"

He forced a smile on to his face so roughly that she could see his face crease in pain, his eyes were glassy with unshed tears. He walked over to her, and he lifted his hand which shook warily. And cupped her cheek lovingly, caressing her soft skin yearningly and she shuddered as she felt his touch, the touch she had longed for for all these years, the touch that felt like pure love. Her eyes closed, savouring the feel of his hand against her face.

"Are you happier?- With- with him?" He whispered, childlike insecurities blared through his voice. "Avni... are you happier with him then you were with me?"

She couldn't say anything, the words were burried in her chest, she couldn't tell him how nothing could make her happier than him.

He chuckled agonisingly, bitter bile rising up his throat. He took her fearful silence as a yes, his each breath was labour, each second sending a worse pain shooting through him. But if she's happy, he's ready for that pain to burden him for the rest of his life. He smiled softly, and she felt his tears fall on to her skin. His eyes pervaded with love and admiration.

"Agar tum iske saath khush ho... tho..." He intakes a sharp breath to drag the words out of his lungs. "Mein- Mein khush ho... I won't- won't ruin your life anymore"

She stared at him beguiled in confusion, he staggered back and his hand fell at his side. He turned and started walking away to hide his weeps. Her mouth opened but nothing came out, she was desperate to stop him, to yell out how much she loved him but...

"Neil?" A meek call that sounded more like a question was all she could make out. "Won't you finish the poha?"

"I- I need some time alone." He was bluntly short to hide the way his voice was breaking.

Her heart pounded as she watched him walk away helplessly, not having anything to say to fix it, to make it better. She watched him like he watched her that day as she walked away and didn't come back..

...

He drove down the road carelessly, barely paying attention to the road. Their conversation echoed in his head repeatedly, so much so that he hit his head frustratededly until the memory went away. He couldn't believe that she could love someone else, he knew what he'd done that day was so unimaginably awful and that he never deserved to be forgiven but their love had been so true, so strong? Could she really love someone else?

Another thought punched him like a hurricane, winding him. He had thought his love for juhi was so strong and true but then he met Avni and he realised what he felt before was nowhere close to love. So was he that to Avni? To her was loving him her first mistake, a mere... infatuation? Was this stupid Gaurav, her true love?

His eyes widened in severe shock as he pressed the break quickly. He threw the car door open and and sprinted out, immediately frowning in concern.

He fell to his knees and lifted the boy up back standing. His eyes glassed over in realisation of his stupidity, brushing the dirt of the boy.

"Oh my god, beta are you okay?"

Neil saw that his knee was scraped as he slipped just before he stopped the car, he bit his lip in guilt.

"Uncle tumhe gaadi nahi chalani aati kya?"

Neil's eyes rounded in surprise at the child's boldness, he nodded... dumfolded.

"Tho kidhere dekhe chaala rahi thi? Dont you know that your meant to be looking at road? I'm a kid and I know that."

He smiled, this kid was adorable, his hair tossled messily and his eyes bright and innocent. He thought nobody could look at his antics without smiling.

"I'm sorry baba... mein kal se tumhara paas aati hu driving sikne ke liye... teek hai?" He nodded cutely, making Neil grin. "Ab batao beta... bohot dard ho raha hai?"

He scanned the wound to check that it wasn't too injured or deep, Nishaan shakes his head. "Mumma bolti hai ki mein humesha ek brave boy hona chaiye..."

Neil cupped his cheek affectionately, "Well aapka mumma bilkhul teek bolthi hu.."

"Haan aur agar mera mumma ab yaha thi, wo mere liye aap ko bohot maarenga" Neil chuckled heartily at his innocence, patting his cheek.

He took out a first aid kit he stores in his pocket and bandages the scraped knee carefully. Nishaan smiles at him cutely as he blows on the graze.

"Better?" He nodded, beaming. "Aap ka naam kya hai beta?"

Nishaan looked puzzled for a second, as if wondering whether he was allowed to tell him. "Nishaan."

"Well hi nishaan..." he held out his hand and Nishaan shook it excitedly. "Mera naam-"

"Bura driver uncle!" Neil laughed and ruffled his hair.

" shall i drop you home then?"

"No its okay, my mamu will be back any second. You don't have to wait..."

"But-" He looked worried

"Go... go..." he smiled at Neil, melting his heart. "Mein bilkhul teek hoga..."

He reluctantly turned away, and as he walking away he felt a small tug on his sleeve. He looked round to see Nishaan calling him back. He pointed at his shoes and Neil looked down to see that they had become untied. He knelt down with a happy sigh and tied them for him, he is about to stand up but gets tackled by a huge hug.

He grins with watery eyes as he rubs Nishaan's back lovingly, it stings as he remembers how he longed to have son like this himself, a son both he and his Avni would treasure like a gem and recite all their stories to and who he'd teach all his favourite sports or help with his homework and love, love more than anything.

"Mumma kehthi hai ki har koi ko khushe dekhe, hum khush ho jhaata hai..."

His smile was delicate and fragile as if it could turn in to cries any second, he squeezed Nishaan's hand sweetly.

"Wow beta... tumhara mumma tho bohot hoshiyaar hai... ek din mujhe iske saath introduce bilkhul kar dena..."

.......

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