It was torture.

Finally getting to kiss the person you have loved for close to four years and having him reject you.

I thought we could finally give a relationship a try, see where it takes us. Be able to kiss each other more than the one time.

I want to kiss him all the time.

When I noticed he was showing signs of Bulimia Nervosa, I knew I couldn't confess to him like I had planned to when I had first walked into his bedroom while everyone else was at the pool. I knew he had other things to worry about. We had other things to worry about.

I had begun to beat myself up.

Why had I not noticed the signs earlier?

He would excuse himself after every meal, despite him barely touching it or looking disgusted while swallowing what he did eat.

He was visibly losing weight. His chubby cheeks were more hollow than before. His hair was even thinner from lack of proper nutrients.

I lay my back onto my mattress as my hands dragged down my face, taking a few loose tears with them.

I felt like I had failed him. The man I love was starving himself to death and I had been too stupid to notice.

"Fuck, I'm an idiot," I mumbled, wanting to run back into Taehyung's room and comfort him. I knew he was having a tough time and for me to storm out on him like that, or even confront him at all after what had happened before we kissed, was just wrong.

I almost got myself up and out of bed when I heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in."

The door creaked open and Jimin walked in, giving me a soft smile. He closed the door and locked it before sitting next to me on the bed.

"Do you have a minute?"

I shrugged, not really knowing what exactly he was doing here.

"What's going on between you and Taehyungie?"

I cleared my throat and shrugged again. Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, we heard you guys this morning. You two kissed!"

I sat up and clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shush. I don't want to talk about it."

He chuckled and shoved his head away from my hand. "I just want to help you, Jungkookie."

"I don't need help."

"Aww, someone is Mr. Grumpy Pants today." Jimin pinched my cheek until I slapped his hand away.

"I'm grumpy because I'm in love with Taehyung and he fucking rejected me. I'm allowed to be grumpy."

Jimin nodded with a slight pout on his face. "Well, why did he reject you?"

The memories came flooding back to me again, making me bend over and grip my hair tightly, practically pulling it out of my scalp.

"H-He said it was just a heat of the moment k-k-kiss."

Jimin could probably sense me on the verge of breaking down. That's what was happening right now.

I was breaking.

Shattering like a glass vase knocked off of a table.

My body curled up into a tight ball to protect my limbs from being shattered in the crossfire.

Jimin tried to wrap his arms around me, but I shoved them away, not wanting his pity. I was sick of people's pity. Pity is probably what truly lead Taehyung to kiss me back like he did. It wasn't the "heat of the moment" like he claimed, but pity.

That thought just made things worse, my cries growing louder. Jimin eventually got his arms gripped firmly around my waist as he forced my head into his shoulder. I ended up clutching onto the back of his shirt, as if my life depended on it.

"Shhh... it's okay, Jungkook. Let it all out, I'm here for you."

My tears were surely staining his shirt, yet Jimin didn't seem to mind. His grip on me never faultered.

I'm not sure how long I spent crying, but by the time Jimin felt comfortable leaving me alone, the sun had set and the rest of the members had gone to their rooms to get some sleep.

I lay back down in my bed, pulling the blankets around me. I felt cold. Not from the temperature, but from the lack of any warmth inside my chest. Taehyung had been that warmth for me the past few years, and now it was like living on a planet with no sun to keep me warm. Poor Pluto.

••••••••

Taehyung POV

I could hear him crying from my room. He was practically screaming. I found myself crying along with him, but without the comfort of anyone else. I cried silently. I didn't want anyone else to know that I was even crying.

I pulled my blanket further around me, squeezing it tightly with my hands formed into fists. I pressed the blankets against my mouth as I screamed, the blankets muffling the sound.

"I'm so sorry, my handsome Kookie. I'm so fucking sorry."

•••••

Hi friends.

College is whooping my ass pt 6, hense the weak ass chapter.

In other news, my Etsy shop hit 1000 views last night and I'm very happy and excited. 💜