EPILOGUE

#HLHuLingYugto

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Part One

"WELCOME to Fleur's Blossoms!"

Carrying a basket of pink peonies, I welcomed my first customer for the day. My free hand was wearing a gardener's glove when I waved hello to a young couple who entered my newly-built florist shop.

We turned Dr. Xalvien's front door, which used to be the entrance to his clinic, into a small flower boutique. It looked really pretty, especially with the floral garden leading towards the shop, complemented by the wisteria vines hanging on the walls of the doctor's white mansion.

"Naghahanap sana kami ng mga bulaklak na bagay sa wedding namin," panimula ng lalaking customer na kasama ang kaniyang nobya. "Purple ang motif namin."

Yumakap ang babae sa braso ng kaniyang nobyo at nagdagdag pa ng mga detalye. "Itong si Yugo ang first love ko. Childhood sweethearts kami!"

Their sweetness made me smile, and that short story gave me an idea. "Bagay sa inyo ang Lilacs! They symbolize the first feelings of love."

Sabik ang aking pagkakasabi, na tila ba sarili ko iyong istorya. Umatras saglit ang ngiti ko, may kaunting kirot akong naramdaman nang maisip iyon. Umiling na lamang ako para hindi ito bigyan ng pansin.

Pinakita ko sa kanila ang isang palumpon ng lilac flowers at nagustuhan nila ito. Nag-order sila ng isang daang sets na gagamiting palamuti para sa kanilang kasal. We discussed the designs and agreed on the final orders before they waved goodbye.

After closing the store in the afternoon, I made a simple flower arrangement and wrapped them in a small handcrafted bouquet. Dinala ko ito papasok sa loob ng mansyon. Nang makita ang doktor na payapang natutulog sa malaking kama ng kaniyang kuwarto ay napangiti ako.

"Here are some fresh lavenders!" magiliw kong sabi habang pinapalitan ang mga bulaklak sa vase. "It's October 23, and you guys turned 31 years old today. Happy birthday, Doctor Xalvien. Happy birthday, Attorney Xalvenge."

Lumapit ako para hawiin ang ilang hibla ng buhok na tumatakip sa kaniyang noo. Napansin kong humahaba na pala ang kaniyang buhok kaya nagsalubong saglit ang mga kilay ko. "I think you guys need a haircut again. Ang bilis humaba ng buhok niyo!"

I took some scissors from the drawer and turned his body towards the side so I could have a better look, carefully fixing the tubes around his body. Inipit ko ang ilang hibla ng kaniyang buhok sa pagitan ng aking mga daliri at nagsimulang maggupit.

Doctor Xalvien has been in a psychogenic coma for three years now. All the mental stress that he has suffered starting from the childhood abuse inside the asylum, the repetitive experiments he has done to himself to create an amnesiac potion, the lobotomy performed on his fusiform gyrus that caused his Capgras syndrome, and the traumatic experience of losing Xalvenge—the immense amount of psychological pressure has caused his mind to shut down and become unresponsive.

"You've been through a lot, Vien," tahimik kong pag-usal habang ginugupitan ang kaniyang buhok. "And you've been very strong."

Umangat ang aking paningin para silipin ang electrocardiogram machine kung saan ipinapakita ang kundisyon ng doktor. It's continuously beeping at a regular pace. "And until now, you're still fighting." My lips gave a quick smile. "Malakas ka, Vien. Lahat iyon kinaya mo. Kaya alam kong kakayanin mo rin ito."

Pagkatapos linisin ang aking pinaggupitan ay ginawa namin ang aming daily routine. Minamasahe ko ang mga braso't binti niya para masiguradong maayos ang daloy ng kaniyang dugo. I also make sure that his legs and arms get their daily exercise by stretching and bending his limbs. Palagi ko ring sinisigurado na malinis ang kaniyang katawan hanggang sa kuko.

"Kailangan ay nasa magandang kundisyon ang mga braso mo pagkagising mo! Para makapagpinta ka na ulit!" I chuckled softly while lifting his arms. "Ambidextrous ka pa naman, sayang."

Binabasahan ko rin siya lagi ng mga libro, pati ang mga balita sa dyaryo. Naging successful ang The Street Sentinel at isa na itong kilalang media agency. Nagsusulat pa rin ako para sa kanila, ngunit bilang freelance journalist na lamang. Kailangan ko kasing bantayan at alagaan nang mabuti ang doktor kaya dito na ako nanirahan sa kaniyang mansyon.

Habang binibihisan ng bagong pares ng pantulog si Xalvien, napansin ko ang mga tattoo sa magkabilang gilid ng kaniyang baywang.

My fingers gently traced the letters that form the two phrases which meant a lot to us three.

Hello, Vien.
Venge was here.

I remembered the first times when I saw these tattoos—the first one was when the doctor was exercising, and the second was when I met Venge for the first time.

My lips formed a quivering smile, triggering my tears to fall. "God, I miss you two so much. . ." I whispered while wiping my cheeks. "Xalvien. . . Xalvenge. . ."

I gave their names a kiss each before closing the polo buttons and pulling up the sheets over the doctor's chest.

Bumalik ako sa tindahan para asikasuhin ang mga bulaklak. Kakaunti na lamang pala ang supply ko ng lavenders. Nagtali ako ng buhok at nagbihis ng pang-alis. I went to the doctor's room to quickly say goodbye, then went outside to hail the first taxi I could find.

"Oh, ikaw po ba ulit, Ma'am Fior?" bungad ng taxi driver. "Doon po ba ulit ang punta niyo?"

Tumango ako sa driver ng taxi na aking laging nasasakyan. "Opo, manong. Sa usual. Maraming salamat po!"

My feet found themselves again on familiar ground. I breathed in the fresh scent of calming lavenders. Hinanda ko ang aking basket at nagsimulang maglakad papunta sa loob ng mga hanay ng bulaklak.

"Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm. . ." I hummed the melody from the doctor's violin song while picking little purple flowers. "Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm."

Naglabas ako ng pack ng lavender seeds at pinalitan ng tanim ang aking mga binunot. Nagdala rin ako ng mini water can para diligan ang mga ito. Nang matapos ay pinunasan ko ang pawis sa aking noo gamit ang braso, malalim na pala ang hapon.

I walked towards the middle of the lavender fields and decided to take some rest for a bit. I sat down on the grass and hugged my bended legs. Kumuha ako ng isang pirasong lavender mula sa basket at pinagmasdan ito. I twisted its stem between my fingers, observing the flower as it faces left and right.

"Kahit gaano katagal, maghihintay ako. Kahit sabihin nilang imposible, aasa ako." I planted a soft kiss on the lavender's petals. "Hindi niyo ako sinukuan noon, kaya hinding-hindi ko rin kayo susukuan. I'll continue taking care of you. I'll continue waiting, even if I turn ninety. At kapag nagising na kayo, magpapakasal tayo. . . tulad ng napag-usapan natin noon."

Humiga ako roon sa malambot na damuhan, at dahil na rin sa sobrang pagod ay hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako.

***

Part Two

V

"KAILANGAN ay nasa magandang kundisyon ang mga braso mo pagkagising mo! Para makapagpinta ka na ulit!"

Ang malambing na tinig ng isang babae ang una kong narinig. She laughed melodiously like a sweet angel, yet there was a subtle trace of pain masked within that angelic sound.

Gusto ko siyang makita, gusto kong maaninag ang magandang mukha ng anghel na ito, ngunit ayaw dumilat ng mga mata ko.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kaniya na ayos lang ang lahat, na huwag na siyang umiyak gabi-gabi, ngunit ayaw bumuka ng mga bibig ko.

"Aalis lang muna ako saglit, ha? Kailangan ko nang mamitas ulit. Babalik din ako agad!" kaniyang pagpapaalam. "Pagbalik ko, dapat gising ka na, ha!"

I heard the sound of the door closing. And just like that, I know that I am alone once again. What kept me company was the sweet scent of lavenders that she placed beside my bed.

Ah, it's our birthday again. You never forget to greet us every year. You never failed to update us about what's happening in your daily life. You never missed a day to tell us how much you love us, before kissing our motionless lips good night.

You've done your part, and now it's our turn.

I focused all my energy on one part of my body—my eyes. I concentrated deeply, feeling my every nerve, commanding my brain to move my lids.

I want to see. I want to see her. I want to see her face. I want to see her smile.

It took forever, but I finally managed to move my lids. Slowly but surely, I was able to open my eyes. Natakot ako na baka katakot-takot na liwanag ang sumalubong sa akin, pero pagdilat ko, kaunting sinag lamang ang nakakasingit sa pagitan ng mga pasimano. Napansin kong bahagyang sarado ang mga bintana upang hindi masiyadong nakakasilaw.

Tila ba sinadya itong iwan nang gano'n. Tila ba lagi siyang nakahanda anomang oras para sa aming pagbabalik.

Nilibot ko ang aking paningin. I want to stand up. I want to go to where she is.

Come on, concentrate. Focus on one body part at a time. Start small. Don't rush it. Do it step by step.

I looked at my toe and stared at it intensely. Move. Move! Please. . . move!

Halos maiyak ako nang makitang gumalaw ito nang bahagya. Yes, that's it. One by one. We can do it. The physical recovery was slow yet gradual. After my toes, I was able to move my fingers, then my arms, and finally my legs. Nang subukan kong tumayo ay nabuwal ako sa sahig. My legs felt like jelly, so I tried massaging them, probing their nerves and awakening their senses.

Gumapang ako sa sahig papunta sa drawer. Binuksan ko ito at natagpuan ang mga epinephrine injection. I took them, breathed in deep, and fired some adrenaline shots onto my legs.

Namilog ang mga mata ko at nakaramdam ng kuryenteng dumaloy sa aking buong katawan. Dahil doon ay nakatayo na ako sa wakas. Nagmadali ako papunta sa pintuan, at nakitang wala na siya roon. Still in my pajamas, I stopped a random car and asked for a favor.

Kung mamimitas siya, sigurado akong doon ang tinutukoy niyang lugar.

Wait for me. . . wait for us.

***

Part Three

Fiorisce

I OPENED my sleepy eyes, only to find out that I dozed off right here on the lavender fields for almost an hour. Agad akong bumangon at pinagpag ang mga ligaw na damo sa aking damit.

"Naku po! Nakatulog pala ako nang matagal!" natataranta kong sabi. "Naghihintay pa naman sa bahay sina—"

Natanggal ang antok ko nang biglang may mga kamay na nagpatong ng kung ano sa ulo ko.

"Oo, naghihintay kami. . ."

I heard a voice that I haven't heard for a very long time, stirring up my unprepared heart.

"Naghihintay kaming magising ka," malambing na sabi ng boses mula sa aking likuran. "You're finally awake, our princess."

"Prince—" Nang banggitin niya iyon ay napahawak ako sa kung anong ipinatong niya sa ulo ko. Saglit ko itong kinuha, at namukhaan ang koronang gawa sa lavenders na parating ginagawa ni Ven-ven para sa akin noon.

Bago pa man ako makalingon ay niyakap niya agad ako nang mahigpit mula sa likuran. His arms wrapped themselves around my waist as he buried his face on my shoulder.

"Pero wala lang iyon kumpara sa tagal ng paghihintay mo sa amin. . ." his soft lips mouthed over my skin. "Thank you for waiting, Miss Fiorisce. We're finally back."

"I-I want to see you! I want to see your face, please!" buong puso kong hiyaw, halos masamid sa sarili kong pag-iyak.

He turned me around . . . and I finally saw the face of the man I have been waiting for since forever.

"N-Nananaginip ba ako o hindi? M-Maraming beses ko na kasi itong napapanaginipan," nanginginig ang boses ko.

His rough hand caressed my cheek, drying my tears. The feeling of warmth from his skin assured me that this isn't a dream. I closed my tear-soaked eyes and brushed my cheek against his rough palm.

"When you said we, did you mean that he is also there?" ninenerbyos kong tanong. "Is Venge with you, Vien?"

Bumuhos ang luha ko nang makita ko siyang tumango. Parang biglang gumaan ang mga balikat ko. Tila ba lahat ng mga pinasan kong paghihirap nang mag-isa sa loob ng maraming taon ay naglaho na parang bula.

"He's here, but he's still a bit dormant." Hinawakan ng doktor ang kaniyang dibdib. "I'm sure of it. I can feel his presence."

I pursed my lips and nodded happily. "It's okay. I will wait. I'll keep on waiting. I can wait forever."

"Well, speaking of forever. . ." Ngumiti ang mabait na doktor sabay angat ng aking kamay. Tulad ng ginawa niya noon, kumuha siya ng isang pirasong lavender at ipinaikot ito sa aking palasingsingan. "Hayaan mong kami namang ang mag-alaga sa iyo, habambuhay. Will you marry us, Miss Fiorisce?"

My overflowing feelings bursted into tears. Sunod-sunod ang aking pagtango habang humikhikbi. "Three years ka nang delayed! Noon pa ako umoo!"

Dahil sa aking agresibong pagyakap ay napahiga kami ulit sa damuhan. His body was like a bed of lavenders, calming, soothing, and comforting. I have waited forever for them to come back, and now I can't wait for our next forever.

Nang makarating sa bahay ay nanghina ulit ang kaniyang mga binti. He wasn't supposed to be able to walk right away, so his limbs relied on the adrenaline shots he so recklessly took. Hindi pa rin siya nagbabago, wala talaga siyang anomang pag-aatubili pagdating sa pagpuwersa ng kaniyang katawan.

Pinagalitan ko si Doc at sinabihang huwag na ulit iyong uulitin. He should be more careful with his body, and take good care of it, so that it's going to be on top condition for our wedding. So that it's ready for Venge's return.

Habang mahimbing na natutulog ay saglit akong nagising. Mahinang humihilik ang doktor at halatang pagod pa. Tumayo ako para uminom ng tubig sa kusina, at habang naglalakad pabalik ay may napansin akong kakaiba sa nakasabit na malaking painting sa gitna ng sala.

It was the portrait that they gifted to me for my birthday three years ago. Nagtaka ako dahil parang may kakaiba rito. Lumapit ako para suriin ang larawan.

Sa bandang dulo, sa bandang sulok, ay may tatlong salitang bagong pinta lamang. Tatlong salita na nagdulot upang humagod ang kakaibang pakiramdam sa dibdib ko.

Venge is here.

***

Finale

NEWS SPREAD FAST, especially if it's good news. Ibinalita agad sa The Street Sentinel ang naging recovery ni Doc. Tuwang-tuwa sina Xildius at Xantiel nang malaman ang balita, ngunit si Fifteen ang pinakamasaya dahil matagal niya nang pangarap na maging Matron of Honor.

On the day of the wedding, Fift helped me with my makeup and wedding gown. Tulad ng nakasanayan ay naka-messy bun pa rin ang buhok ko na may tendrils sa gilid, ngunit nagmukha akong prinsesa dahil sa lavender flower crown na aking suot. Mayroon itong manipis at mahabang ribbon sa likuran.

My gown was in the soft shade of light periwinkle. It has string-thin ribbon straps over my bare shoulders, and my arms are covered in puffy chiffon longsleeves that are almost transparent. My tulle skirt flowed down to the ground, making me look like a princess.

We finally arrived at the wedding venue—at our favorite place, the lavender fields that carried a lot of memories.

There were beautiful wisteria arches that tower above the aisle, with purple vines hanging down like floral curtains. Sounds of violin greeted the guests, its romantic melody playing across the vast garden, high notes fluttering in the wind along with the sweet spring breeze.

Carved on a big wooden signage are the words: Dr. Xalvien Vouganville and Miss Fiorisce Lavandula.

Sina Xildius at Xantiel ang best men—automatic na raw iyon, at ang magandang si Fift ang aking Matron of Honor. Ang mga imbitadong guest ay ang mga kaibigan ko sa The Street Sentinel, at ang mga naging kliyente namin.

Waiting at the start of the aisle was the most handsome gentleman I have ever seen. Doctor Xalvien looked like a prince. He was wearing an all-white formal tuxedo with a gold label pin draping over his chest pocket. His inner vest was dark blue, the same color as his bowtie. The jacket of his tux carries a longer backside, it has a pair of tails that drape down to his legs.

I wrapped my arm around the doctor's folded elbow, assisting me as we walked down the aisle.

"Buti ay pumayag silang ilakad ng groom ang bride," mahina niyang bulong habang naglalakad kami. "Paminsan pala ay ginagawa iyon lalo na kung walang magulang ang ikakasal."

"Eh ikaw rin naman ang nagsilbing magulang ko, Vien." Teary-eyed guests watched us as we passed by them. "You took great care of me, from when I was a child and even until now. You have given me my second chance in life. Higit ka pa sa pamilya, Vien."

An uninvited breeze made the petals from the lavenders fly across the air, swirling around us like they were dancing a cotillion, celebrating this wonderful day.

"Look at you, so breathtakingly gorgeous, so far from the skinny little girl that you used to be. You're now the most beautiful bride that a groom could ask for." Ang kaniyang pagngiti ay may baong mga luha.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay kong nakakapit sa kaniyang braso.

"I've seen you grow into the brave woman you're destined to be, Miss Fiorisce," kaniyang pagpuri. "You're the strongest Vouganville that I know."

"Ha-ha! Vouganville ako noon, at magiging Vouganville na ulit ngayon," natatawa kong pagbiro. "Kinukuha ko lang ang apelyidong akin talaga."

Tears flowed down from the doctor's tender eyes as we're getting closer and closer to the altar.

"Ang suwerte ko, dahil ako ang unang nakakita kung gaano ka kaganda. Kaso. . . hindi ko makikita ang buong ganda mo sa ilalim ng belo."

I tried to chuckle, but my throat was too hoarse from the bittersweet feeling welling in my chest. My nervous tears caused my voice to sound scratchy. "P-Para namang hindi ka nagsasawa sa mukha ko, Doc. Saka. . . makikita mo naman ito araw-araw simula ngayon."

"Malapit na tayo sa altar, maihahatid na kita sa groom." I heard him swallow hard as we almost reached the end of the aisle. "Just three more steps. . . and I'll finally let you go."

"No one's going away, silly!" I choked on my tears as I delivered those last words.

Dr. Xalvien closed his eyes when we arrived at the front of the altar. He took a deep breath, loosened his bowtie, and brushed up the right side of his hair.

Before opening his eyes, a lone tear trickled down his cheek. "I love you, Miss Fiorisce. . ."

"Xal—"

Pagdilat niya, hindi na si Xalvien ang aking nasa harapan.

"Miss reporter."

Nang makita ang aking hitsura ay nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa sobrang pagkamangha.

"Venge!" Walang tigil ang aking pag-iyak nang magsalubong ang mga paningin namin. "X-Xalvenge. . ."

He licked his lower lip and left his tongue on the side of his mouth for a second. "Damn. You're so gaspingly beautiful. Hindi ako makahinga, sobrang ganda mo."

"A-Ako rin, hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang kaba," kagat-labing banggit ko sa kaniya.

The attorney tilted his head and chuckled inwards, shaking his head. "Hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang excited ko mamayang gabi."

"Venge, nasa harap ka ng pari!" pagpapaalala ko nang may namumulang mukha dahil sa kaniyang kapilyuhan.

The priest cleared his throat, "Start na po tayo sa kasal, mukhang excited na po kayo sa honeymoon, eh."

What I told Venge was true, my heart was thumping so loud that I'm worried it would explode inside my chest. I am happy, so happy, finally happy. I'm so happy that I can't stop crying—I could fill up a whole wishing well with my tears.

Makakasama ko na habambuhay ang mga lalaking lubos-lubos na minamahal ng puso ko.

Ikakasal ako sa kanila, ngunit isa lamang ang aking magiging asawa. That's the arrangement that the three of us agreed on.

Xalvien and Xalvenge may share the same body, but they are still men with separate identities—and we want to honor and respect their individualities.

We agreed to set boundaries, especially when it comes to intimacy. I will be living under one roof with both of them, but I will only be sharing the bed with just one.

It doesn't change the pure fact that I love both of them equally—but one as my husband, and one as part of our family.

I will continue loving Xalvien as my soulmate, my red string, my cure. The one who hushed my thoughts and provided me with peace.

And I will continue loving Xalvenge as my romantic partner, my mate, my lover. The one who makes my heart beat louder with every tick and tock of the clock.

I am marrying their system, and all three of us will grow together in sickness and in health, through loud nights of anxiety and the hushed mornings that follow after, blooming closely like little lavenders next to each other, till death do us part.

Signed with a promise of forever,
Mrs. Fiorisce Lavandula-Vouganville.

THE END

Thank you for reading Hush Louder.