"VENGE, are you okay?"

Nakasimangot ang attorney sa harapan ko, ang mukha niya'y nakangudngod sa kanang palad. Mukha siyang nasasaktan at nahihirapan. "Venge?" ulit ko sabay hawak sa pawisan niyang ulo.

"My head fucking hurts." His answer was straight and short. "And I'm getting dizzy as fuck."

Ganito rin ang nangyari sa kaniya nang magpakilala ako. Siguro, hindi pa talaga ito ang tamang panahon para banggitin niya ang pangalan ko. I wonder why?

"Higa ka muna rito sa kama," nag-aalala kong suhestiyon sabay bangon mula sa pagkakahiga. "Lilipat na lang ako sa sofa."

Umiling siya habang nakahawak pa rin sa ulo. I can see him wincing in pain. "Huwag na. Ikaw na sa kama. Ako na sa sofa."

He's really still so stubborn! Siya na nga itong hindi maayos ang kundisyon, eh. "Nahihilo ka, Venge!" pagpilit ko. "Ako, nahimasmasan na—"

"Papayag lang ako sa kama kung makakatabi kita."

Napakunot tuloy ako ng noo bigla. Nahihirapan na nga, nagawa pang magbiro.

He narrowed his eyes at me and smirked suggestively—causing my heart to suddenly react.

But no matter how attractive the attorney may be, my heart is already taken. My heart has made its decision. I will care for both of them, I will protect them both. But when it comes to who I will love. . .

"Hindi ka naman papayag, 'di ba? Kaya ako na sa sofa," biglang singit ng boses ni Venge na nakatayo na mula sa sahig. "Huwag ka nang makulit diyan."

Hindi ko pa nabibigay ang sagot ko ay tumungo na siya papunta sa sofa. Bumalik na lang ako sa pagkakahiga at napatitig sa malawak na kisame.

When I closed my eyes, it caused my mind to concentrate on how exhausted my body is feeling.

Parts of it are still aching from my earlier rough love-making with the doctor. Kumikirot pa rin ang dibdib ko mula sa kaniyang pagsipsip at pagkagat. Ramdam ng mga pasa sa hita ko ang mahihigpit na pagpisil ng kaniyang magaspang na kamay.

"Doc, I hope you're doing okay. I hope you're not blaming yourself. . ." I whispered away my thoughts as I succumbed into a deep sleep.

A tear fell sideways from my closed eye as my voice faded out. "Please feel better soon. . . both of you."

***

I'VE LOST count as to how many times I woke up at different parts of this mysterious two-sided mansion.

As I lifted up my body and stretched out my arms, I was invited by the delicious smell of food being cooked in the kitchen.

Pagkarating doon ay naabutan kong nagluluto si Venge, may mahabang chopsticks na nakaipit sa kaniyang bibig habang binabayo ang kawali sa kaniyang kamay. Malakas ang apoy sa kalan ngunit parang sanay na siya rito, hindi man lang siya kumukurap.

He looked gorgeously sexy in his striped pajama pants and tight black shirt that hugged his muscles. Pinunasan ko ang laway na tumulo sa gilid ng bibig ko. Mula lang siguro 'to sa malalim na pagtulog ko.

"Morning, reporter. Breakfast will be ready in two minutes," he reported.

Umupo ako sa high chair sa may kitchen counter kung saan may nakahandang plato at kape. Lihim akong napangiti nang mapansin ko ang pagkakaiba nila ng doktor. Xalvien likes tea, Xalvenge likes coffee.

"Wow! Ano 'yan?" Napadilat ako nang ilagay ni Venge ang pulang noodles sa ibabaw ng scrambled egg, tapos gamit ang chopsticks mula sa kaniyang bibig ay tinakpan niyang muli ang noodles sa kabilang side ng itlog. First time ko lang makakita ng gano'n.

"It's my own creation, but I would call it kimchi noodles omelette, I guess?" he answered as he settled himself on the high chair in front of me at the other side of the counter.

"Thank you po sa food!" I excitedly exclaimed as I took my chopsticks and ate some of my portion. "Mmm! Hoy, gago ka Venge! Bakit ang sarap?"

The attorney crossed his arms and cheekily licked the side corner of his mouth while watching me eat. Hindi siya kumakain, he was just staring at me!

"H-Hoy, kumain ka nga." Nilagyan ko na siya ng pagkain sa plato. My cheeks can't help but turn red because of his shameless gaze. Hindi niya man lang sinisimplehan, garapalan siya kung makatitig!

"I'm enjoying my morning view," hirit niya.

Kunwari hindi ko narinig ang sinabi ng malanding attorney na 'to. "Kumain ka na! Baka mawalan ng hangin ang muscles mo, sige ka."

"Bakit nasama ang muscles ko sa usapan?" Napangisi siya, halatang natuwa sa biglaan kong pagbanggit nito.

"Ewan ko ba sa mga 'yan. Papansin kasi, eh." Napasubo ako dahil sa sinabi ko. Gago, nakakahiya.

Venge kept on biting his lip and smiling. Lumalamig na ang pagkain niya.

"Check mo nga kung may hangin pa," alok ng gago.

Pinatulan ko naman, pero ginamit ko ang chopsticks ko para tusukin ang biceps niya. I poked it twice, habang ngumunguya.

"Kumusta?" taas-kilay niyang tanong.

"Masarap." Bigla akong nasamid kaya napainom ako ng tubig. "'Yong food! Masarap 'yong food."

Ang hirap naman kumain kasama ni Venge! Nalilito ako kung alin ba ang pagkain.

Nakasalumbaba lang siya habang nakatingin. Hindi pa rin kumakain kaya nagtanong na ako ulit. "Bakit ka ba kanina pa nakangisi?"

"Kasi sa wakas nakangiti ka na." He smiled gently, and it was a new expression on the attorney's face. It suddenly reminded me of the doctor.

"And there it goes," pahabol niya. "Poof—wala na ulit."

Bumuntonghininga ako't ibinaba na muna ang chopsticks. "I-Iniisip ko lang kasi kung kumusta na kaya si—"

"He's hurting too," mabilis na sagot ni Venge. "I could feel it. But he's not mad at you, okay? He's actually. . . blaming himself. He's very down right now."

Sabi ko na nga ba, malungkot siya. I want to talk to the doctor and check how he's doing, but I need to respect their schedule. Today is Saturday and it's Xalvenge's turn.

"Teka, paano mo nalaman kung ano'ng nararamdaman ni Doc?" I leaned my body forward, my palms laid flat on the counter. What he said got me really curious!

Venge pushed his body away from the counter, rocking his chair that's now standing on its hind legs.

He was looking at a far distance as he explained how it feels. "Hmm. . . I don't know how to actually explain it. But when I concentrate on my heart. . . I find feelings that are not mine."

I listened to him attentively. Bawat salitang binibitawan niya ay panibagong kaalaman para sa'kin. Palagi ko silang nakakasama, pero marami pa rin akong hindi nalalaman sa kanila.

"And also, in the past. . . I would always hear Vien crying." Naging malamlam ang kaniyang mga mata. "We were able to talk to each other before without writing on papers or recording our voices. We could communicate with our minds. That's how close we were in the past."

Naguguluhan ako. Nasabi kasi sa akin ng doktor na ten years ago lang niya nalaman ang tungkol sa existence ni Venge. Hindi rin daw sila naging malapit kahit kailan. Bakit sinasabi ni Venge ngayon na naging malapit sila noon?

"Speaking of the past, there's something I need to ask the professor." Attorney Xalvenge looked at me with serious eyes. "If you're free, will you go with me to Villa Vouganville?"

***

NATUTUWA ako dahil sa wakas ay pumayag na si Venge na makipagkita kina Professor. Excited na ako na makilala niya sina Fifteen, Vougan, at pati na rin si Xantiel. I want the attorney to meet more people and have more friends.

Papasok na kami sa loob ng Villa Vouganville nang bigla niyang hinila ang damit ko mula sa likuran. When I turned around, I saw him flinching. "Is everything okay, Venge?"

"I have. . . some really painful memories in this house." Napatingin siya sa isa sa mga bintana roon kung saan nakapuwesto ang dating kuwarto ng doktor.

I held his hand and smiled at the attorney. "Then it's time to create better memories," I assured him. With his shaking hand secured within my hand, I guided him towards the mansion.

Ang unang nakakita sa amin ay si Fifteen na karga-karga ang kaniyang anak na si Vougan. Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Fift sa pagkamangha. Naramdaman niya agad na hindi si Dr. Xalvien ang kasama ko.

Nagulat kaming lahat nang biglang bumaba si Vougan at tumakbo papunta sa paanan ni Venge. "Are you the doctor? You look like Ninong Xalvien, but you act different."

Ngumiti ako't bumaba para pantayan ang bata. "Vougan, this is your Ninong Xalvenge. He's an attorney."

Sumingit ng bulong sa'kin si Venge. "Ninong? Bakit bigla akong nagkapamangkin?"

"Hello, Ninong Xalvenge!" Kinuha ni Vougan ang kamay ni Venge at nagmano bigla rito. "Nice to meet you po."

Namilog ang mga mata ng bata nang mapagmasdan si Venge nang malapitan. "You are kasing pogi ni Ninong Xalvien! Hala, mahihirapan si Ninang Fior sa inyo!"

Nilakasan ko ang pagtikhim kaya kinarga na ulit ni Fift ang kaniyang anak. "T-Tara, baby. Tara kayo, naghihintay sa sala si Professor," pagyaya niya.

The professor was sipping from his coffee mug, sitting on a big solo sofa while reading the morning newspaper.

As soon as Venge entered the room, he already knew who it was without even looking. "Nice to meet you again," pagbati ni XV, tinutukoy ang pagpunta noon ni Venge sa bahay ni Xantiel.

"P-Paano mo agad nalaman?!" halos sabay naming tanong ni Fifteen. "Hindi mo pa inaangat ang mga mata mo mula sa dyaryo!" dagdag ko.

"His footsteps sound different from Xalvien's," paliwanag ng henyong propesor habang nagbabasa pa rin. "Hello, Attorney. So you finally decided to visit."

"Isa lamang ang pakay ko kaya ako narito," diretsahang bungad ni Venge. "There's a memory of a girl in a lavender field that suddenly appeared in my mind. Psychiatrist ka rin tulad ni Vien, 'di ba?"

Nakaupo kami nina Fift at Vougan sa pahabang sofa, ngunit parang walang balak umupo ang attorney na nakatayo sa tapat ng propesor. "At matagal mo nang kilala si Vien. Do you know what this memory means?" kaniyang dugtong.

The professor laid down his mug and closed his newspaper which he then placed on a study table beside his sofa. He clasped his hands under his chin before answering the attorney.

"Is the girl in your memory wearing a white dress and a lavender flower crown?" tanong ng propesor na siyang ikinagulat naming lahat sa silid na iyon, lalong-lalo na si Xalvenge.

"W-What?" the attorney stammered. I saw him clenching his fist as his brows merged into a confused frown. "How did you know that?!"

Sumandal ang propesor habang kalmadong isinalaysay ang kaniyang nalalaman. "Because that's the exact same memory that the doctor has in his past. He has told me about that very same scene."

"What? I don't fucking understand!" Hindi napigilan ni Venge na magmura.

Tinakpan agad ni Fift ang mga tainga ng kaniyang anak. Kahit kaming dalawa ay hindi rin maintindihan ang sinasabi ng propesor.

"You are both remembering the same memory, the same scene, the same girl in the lavender fields," patuloy ng propesor sabay patong ng kanang binti sa ibabaw ng kaniyang kaliwang tuhod. "It sometimes happens to people with DID. After all, you have the same mind."

Pagtingin ko kay Venge ay tila naluluha ang mga mata niya. "Attorney. . ." I whispered faintly.

The professor lifted up his clasped hands over his lips and mouthed some thought-provoking questions.

"The question here is not what the memory means. . . The question is, whose memory is it? Is it the doctor's or yours?"

Sinundan niya pa ito ng mas nakakalitong mga tanong. "Who is the true owner of that memory? Who is the one playing in the fields with the girl?"

Hindi ko inaasahan ang biglang pagngisi ni Venge na kanina lamang ay nagtataka. "I knew it. I asked the right person. Kaya pala manghang-mangha sa'yo ang doktor. But honestly, I'm not that impressed."

Napataas ng kilay ang propesor at napangisi rin pabalik. "I wasn't trying to be impressive. That's just how I normally speak."

Naramdaman ko ang biglang pagdantay ng ulo ni Fift sa balikat ko. Parehas lang kaming dalawa na nalilito rito.

"You forgot the most important question, Professor. The girl—who is she? Siya ang makakasagot sa mga tanong mo kanina kung sino ang tunay na nagmamay-ari ng alaalang iyon," nakapamulsang pagsaad ni Venge ng kaniyang opinyon. "She's the key witness who can solve this mystery."

"You're an attorney. You know that not everything can be answered by a witness," balik sa kaniya ng propesor na hindi natinag sa sinabi ng abogado.

Natawa si Venge sabay iling nang mabilis. "Did you forget? I came here to ask you questions. You're the witness that's being judged here, Professor. You are known for paying close attention to details. You have the highest IQ among the XVs. So why aren't you asking who the girl could be?"

Tila may kuryente sa pagitan ng mga mata nilang dalawa. Para silang nagtatagisan ng talino.

"I wonder. . . maybe, is it because you know her already?" the attorney tilted his head to the side, challenging the professor.

Dinala ni Venge ang propesor sa isang biglaang korte sa loob ng kaniyang mansyon. Hindi ko inaasahan na iyon pala ang pakay ng attorney sa pagpunta rito.

Xalvenge didn't come here to ask him questions. He came here to question him.

*****
Hush Louder is now a published book!

Enjoy special chapters and bonus content when you buy the book version, published under LIB and Precious Pages. Available at National Book Store, Fully Booked, and Precious Pages Bookstore's Shopee, Lazada, and TikTok.