Music: 'Day is Gone' by Noah Gunderen & The Forest Rangers (heart wrenching song of Felaern's loss)

Chapter dedicated to Lexie17.  You are completely awesome for giving the Vote button a proper smackdown!  lol.

Chapter 95 – Today Was the Day – Felaern's POV

I was not a tolerant man.

Maybe I had been...a very long time ago. But shit happened.

I had been struck down, reduced to just a fraction of the man I had been prior, by a loss so deep, that even now, I felt a familiar prick of pain radiate through my body. I hated that pain – that reminder of my foolishness and pride – because no one was to blame for my sorrow...But me.

Fee...the only love of my life.

She was gone; forever lost to me.

And I had been the bastard who demanded she leave. I was insulted by her ridiculous accusation – it simply wasn't true– of course, I would never, could never want another woman, other than her.

And in that moment as our fate hung in the balance, and Fee trembled slightly, desperately trying to mask her hurt; I had a choice.

I could have comforted her, allayed her fear and insecurities with softly spoken words and gentle touches. I could have shown her with my mind and my body how much I adored only her.

But I had been a fool.

Instead, I flew into a fit of anger, my pride wounded that she would even question me. And the more I dug in my heels, the more I responded with sarcasm and fury; the more Fee believed that wretched woman's lies.

I loved Fee for her stubbornness and strong will, but it was a volatile combination when mixed with my own. Neither of us backed down and the battle-of-wills escalated. Until finally, I had had enough of the nonsense; and told her to leave until she could see me as I truly was and not some made up version that a harlot presented to her.

Her eyes had changed in that moment. The life went out of them. Looking back, I wondered how I had not recognized what she was thinking in the devastation of her expression, because it was so clear to me now. She believed that my response – my unbridled fury and the distinct absence of any sentiment of my love, combined with my order to leave – was confirmation that I had taken another woman to my bed. And worse, she believed my words and betrayal was also confirmation of my true feelings toward her – in such a small, fleeting space of time, I had convinced her that I did not truly love or even want her. I shuddered hard. It didn't matter how many centuries went by, I would always be haunted by that dead look in her eyes; knowing I had caused it.

She never spoke another word. She didn't even bother to gather one item to take with her. Instead, her hand moved in an ancient flourish as she penetrated the air. Tearing through the fabric of space, a portal appeared; a shimmering, suspended moment; a doorway awaiting her command. With a lone glance back at me, a single tear breached her eyelashes and rolled down her cheek, as she stepped through.

And then she was gone.

Forever.

For a moment, satisfaction wound through me that I had made my point. But the moment had been fleeting; so short in fact, that it ended almost immediately and regret washed over me, fierce and strong. In the next breath, I desperately wished I could take back the words, and I swore that as soon as Fee returned, I would drop to my knees and beg her forgiveness.

But she never returned.

I paced the entire night...waiting, confident that once she cooled off, she would come back and we would talk it through. But as the hours – and then the days, months and years – ticked by, I realized I had grossly underestimated her determination to give me exactly what I demanded. I had told her not to return until she saw me as I really was. And now, I suspected she felt my true character and lack of affection for her, was made abundantly clear, giving her no reason to return.

Still...

I held out hope.

For awhile.

Even though I dreaded that she might really never want to see me again, I couldn't stop searching for her. But I was limited in my scope. I couldn't physically transport myself to all of the infinite possibilities she could have gone. Fee had unique and unmatched power to create and control portals. Even I hadn't known her full scope of ability, but I did know if she wanted to permanently disappear, it was easily within her power.

Of course, I could manipulate the portals that connected the human world to my kingdom, but those portals were stationary, hidden at strategic points on the planet. However, Fee wasn't restricted to a specific location. She could create a portal wherever she stood. Nor was she limited to the end destination. Several dimensions existed in the fabric of space, and she had taken me to quite a few. Completely foreign and strange worlds, with creatures and species never imagined in the human realm. Frankly, the humans were not ready for some of the devastating nightmares that awaited them if they accidentally slipped from this dimension to another.

However, after two centuries with no success, I had to admit the devastating truth. Fee may have been incredibly hurt when she left, but I just could not believe that she would not have returned by then, if for no other reason than to angrily give me a well-deserved piece of her mind.

No, the only reason she wouldn't have returned by then, was if she couldn't...If some horrible fate had befallen her. And I knew for a fact, there were many formidable adversaries in the Untamed Dimensions.

So many questions tormented me. Even though I would have felt tremendous physical pain at her loss, I wished that Fee and I had shared a mating bond similar to what the vampires experienced. That way, I would have at least known; I would have felt the minute Fee died, instead of being consumed by horrible guessing. It killed me to know I hadn't been with her in her final moments. Had it been quick? Did she suffer?

"Felaern...Felaern?"

I looked up in confusion.

Iridia smirked as she crawled up my naked body, pulling me out of my agonizing reverie. I glowered as my eyes focused on the bare, curvy redhead in front of me – because she wasn't the one woman I wanted.

I cursed myself for letting my thoughts get tangled in the past, because now my chest felt constricted, as if a steel band were wrapped around it, and compressed to the point of unbearable; courtesy of my very own demon of the past mocking me for every misspoken word.

"Get off of me," I snarled.

Surprise colored her features, and then determination, as she brought her mouth down to my dick. She looked up at me through her lashes and purred, "Let me make you feel better."

I clenched my fists, anger running unchecked through me, and ground out, "You do not want this. I can't be gentle with you. Not right now. You need to leave."

The scent of her arousal flared and she replied with a wicked smile, "I don't want you to be gentle."

Fuck.

On any other day, I would have happily tied her up and pounded into her relentlessly, but that wasn't how I wanted to relieve my pent up frustration today. I growled and forcefully set her to the side, as I climbed out of the bed and stood to my feet. She pouted, but didn't say anything as she left the room.

No, today I was much more interested in using every last drop of my rage to play with Quinn. I normally despised getting involved in vampire business, and as such, rarely deigned to intervene; however, he had made the mistake of ordering Brialle's daughter to be unmercifully whipped, by the man she was promised to, nonetheless.

My thoughts drifted to the little spitfire, and I had to smile. Even though I affectionately called Raine, Little One, I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that she was not little. Her mating ceremony had been undeniable proof of that fact.

Several aspects hadn't gone according to the typically joining; not the least of which being, when she climaxed just from having his fangs buried in her neck. Not only did she climax, but she pushed Cage into an orgasm at the same time. Damn.

She followed up that clever feat with a display of dominance and aggressiveness I never expected from her. It had been fascinating and unexpectedly entertaining to watch Armand cringe repeatedly. I had never seen Armand react like that to a mating ceremony, but apparently, he really did not like watching his daughter suck a man's dick. I guess I couldn't blame him. I would likely feel the same way, had I ever had a child.

Another wave of regret washed over me. When I lost Fee, I determined I would never allow myself the happiness of bearing a child, if it couldn't be with her.

I shook my head, trying to clear my rampant thoughts and refocus my anger on a well-deserved purpose. It had also been quite entertaining to watch Quinn shuffle as far away from me as possible, when Brialle and I showed up unexpectedly to Raine's ceremony.

I smirked. Oh yes, he knew I was going to pay him a little visit.

And today was the day...