chapter two
sabrina & wong

        "Congrats on the promotion, Wong," Sabrina says as they step into the library.  "These are some sweet digs you've got here."

Sabrina used to spend a lot of their time in the library, surrounded by shelves upon shelves of ancient texts.   Abiral, the old librarian, had never minded their company.  It's a labyrinth of knowledge, perfect for getting lost in when the world becomes too loud.  The maze of shelves and corridors make it almost impossible to track a single person down.  They aren't small enough to squeeze in between the bookshelves anymore, but for a long time, the library had always provided her with a sense of comfort.  The library used to be their safe place, but the safety has all but rotted and turned sour.  All they can see when they step in is the blood that was splattered on the floor.  The urn.  The head.  The screams.  Kaecilius's reptilian, chilling gaze that had pierced through her like a knife.  His ice-cold grip on her wrist that had awakened her in the middle of the night.  The twisted smirk spread across his face.  His voice that pierced through the darkness of her bedroom.  But Wong is here, and wherever Wong is, Sabrina is sure to be.

"For that last time, Sabrina, I'm just the librarian.  I don't live here now," Wong replies as he appears from behind a bookshelf, snapping her out of her spiraling thoughts.  "Who are you hiding from?"

"What?  I can't say hi to my favorite librarian?"

Wong only raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine.  You got me." Sabrina raises her hands in mock surrender.  "Mordo wants to spar.  My back still hurts from last week."

Wong chuckles and shakes his head.  "If anyone asks, I haven't seen you."

"Thank you, Wong.  You're the best." Wong nods.  Almost unconvinced.  "Really."

It's not so much of a secret anymore that Wong has garnered a soft spot for Sabrina.  There's a wall around Wong—or rather, true Wong—but Sabrina managed to singlehandedly deconstruct the wall.  Not entirely, but just enough so that they could squeeze through its fortifications and into the warmth of his heart.  Wong is more relaxed with her and finds it easier to laugh, easier to trust.  Trust isn't something that he hands out freely anymore.  Not after Kaecilius.  He's more protective of her now after Kaecilius tried to whisk her away from Kamar-Taj.  Sabrina doesn't mind.  There's a hole in her heart where her parents belonged, and Wong is helping to fill that hole, bit by bit.

He's taught her a lot of what she knows about herself.  Before Wong, the string tethering her to her culture is threadbare—only snippets of what her mother had taught her run along the small thread—and her sense of self is just as weak.  Before Wong, she didn't know who she was.  Not really.  After Wong, her connection to her culture is stronger.  She knows more about her family.  There's still a lot she doesn't know, but now she has an inkling of an idea of who she is.

"You meet the new guy yet?" Sabrina asks.

"No."

"He's a total chump," they tell him, "he thinks he knows everything."

"You know what they say," Wong replies coyly.  "People often hate the things about other people that they hate about themselves."

Sabrina's jaw drops and she places a hand over her heart as Wong ducks behind a bookshelf.  "Ugh.  Rude.  And for the record, I don't think I know everything.  I want to know everything.  There's a difference."

Sabrina props her feet up on the nearby table and fiddles with her fingers.  A small spark of gold flickers between them and extinguishes almost immediately.  The small hint of magic leaves her with a warmth that resonates in the pits of her chest and aching for more.  Sometimes they feel like there's something down there, deep in the crevices of their chest.  Something ravenous, clawing and scraping to get out.  Sabrina knows that she can't let it out.  No matter how hard it bites and how much it scratches.

One of the first lessons brought to her by The Ancient One was finding balance in their practice.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  A give and a trade.  You cannot summon something from nothing.  Even Eldritch magic.  The Mystic Arts is based on the alignment of the mind, spirit, and body.  If one is slightly out of line, everything crumbles beneath it.  There are a great many things that Sabrina wishes she could do but knows that she has to bottle everything up instead and keep it shoved deep below where even her desires will not reach.  Reserve the chaos that threatens to bubble over, because magic is organizing the chaos, and this requires two things: balance and control.  It takes Sabrina months to find balance, and even now balance is a tightrope and Sabrina hangs on by the tips of her fingers most days.

"Feet off the table," Wong reprimands as he emerges from the bookshelves once more. 

Sabrina rolls her eyes and drops her feet to the ground with a clunk.

"You need a field trip or something," Wong mutters.  "Or friends."

"Excuse me, I do have friends!" Sabrina exclaims.  "You, Mordo, Hamir—"

"Friends your own age," Wong corrects.

"Ha!" Sabrina throws a finger out at Wong.  "So I am your friend!"

"That's not the point," Wong sighs. "When was the last time you had a conversation with someone your age?"

And there it is again.  That funny feeling that washes over her in waves, receding just long enough for Sabrina to feel peace before washing over her all over again.  Sabrina doesn't belong—at least not at Kamar-Taj.  Pretending like she belongs only works for so long, but as all things fake, the illusion falls through.  Her imagination will never be enough to bend her reality.  There's a place for Sabrina—somewhere, but she doesn't think that place is here.  There are many things that Sabrina can change, but this is something that will always be constant—at least in this world.  Sabrina knows that there is a universe out there, somewhere, where she does belong at Kamar-Taj.  But this is not that universe.

"Next question," Sabrina answers with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. 

"Hey," says a voice in greeting.  Sabrina looks up to see Strange approaching the table with a stack of books in his arms.

Wong turns to face him with a polite smile on his face.  "Mister Strange."

"Uh, Stephen, please," Stephen corrects as he sets the books down on the surface of the table.  "And you are?"

"Wong," Wong answers.

"Wong," Stephen repeats with a nod.  "Just Wong?  Like Adele?  Or Aristotle?  Drake.  Bono...Eminem."

The wall around Wong is back and he elicits no visible reaction to Stephen's pitiful attempt at a joke.  Sabrina almost feels bad for the man.  So she laughs and shakes her head.  "Don't take it personally.  He was dropped on his head as a baby and his humor got broken."

Wong only shakes his head and slides the stack of books toward him.  He picks up the books and reads the titles aloud, "The Book of the Invisible Sun, Astronomia Nova, Codex Imperium, Key of Solomon."  Sabrina raises her eyebrows as Wong places a hand on top of the new stack of books he made.  "You finished all of these?"

"Yup," Stephen answers, popping the p.

"Nerd," Sabrina mutters.

Wong turns to Sabrina.  "Bèndàn, nǐ shuō de?" Chump, you said?

Sabrina throws her hands up.  "Zhǐshì yīnwèi yǒurén zhēn de dúle nǐ de shū—" Just because someone actually reads your books-

"What's going on?" Stephen interrupts eyeing Wong and Sabrina.

Wong turns back to him and nods curtly.  "Come with me."

"All right," Stephen agrees softly.

He leads them into the farthest chamber in the library.  The room is empty save for the three desks that sit in the center of the room surrounded on all sides by shelves upon shelves of books.  With a lump in her throat, Sabrina realizes that Wong's taken them to the chamber.  The room where it all happened.  They've done a good job of cleaning up the puddle of blood as if nothing had ever happened there.  It makes Sabrina sick how quickly and easily they've moved on from that night.  As if Abiral's death meant nothing to them.  Wong slides into his new position as head librarian like clockwork.  As if nothing had changed.  As if everybody had collectively decided to ignore what had happened that night.  As if everybody had gotten the memo except for Sabrina.  Typical.

"This section is for masters only, but at my discretion, others may use it," Wong tells Stephen.  Sabrina crosses her arms and leans against the nearest bookshelf.  No wonder she's only ever been in this chamber once before.  She watches as Wong crosses to the opposite side of the room and withdraws a book from the shelf from behind the iron bars that lock them into place.  "You should start with Maxim's Primer.  How's your Sanskrit?"

"I'm fluent in Google Translate," Stephen answers.

Sabrina has to hold back a laugh.  She is not going to give Stephen the satisfaction of a reaction.

"Vedic, classical Sanskrit," Wong says as he passes the small stack of books to Stephen.

Sabrina trails after Wong, itching to leave the chamber and all the memories that have resurfaced behind.  Her head is swimming again, and suddenly, she would rather be anywhere but in the library.  But Stephen lingers, captivated by the rows of books with glowing runes in the center of their covers. 

"What are those?" Stephen wonders, pointing a tremoring finger at the books.

"The Ancient One's private collection," Wong answers.

Stephen turns to face them.  Sabrina can see a new light in his eyes.  "So they're forbidden?"

"No knowledge in Kamar-Taj is forbidden," Wong answers.

"You sound like a philosopher," Sabrina remarks.

Wong ignores her.  "Only certain practices.  Those books are far too advanced for anyone other than the Sorcerer Supreme."

Stephen reaches up to take the first book that he sees off the shelf.  Sabrina realizes with a churning stomach that it's The Book of Cagliostro.  The book that Abiral had died for.  Is any book worth dying over?  Is any book truly worth the life of somebody else?  Sabrina understands that The Book of Cagliostro holds secrets far beyond the scope of human perception, but maybe then, if the book was so dangerous, if the book meant that much to The Ancient One, then she should have been there.  Maybe the book should have been protected better.  Maybe she should have been there for Abiral.  For Sabrina.  But she wasn't there.  Not until it was too late.  Not until Abiral's head was in an urn and his blood stained the ground and seeped into Sabrina's socks.  Why wasn't she there?

Stephen flips through the stiff pages of the book.  "This one's got pages missing."

"That's The Book of Cagliostro," Wong informs Stephen, "the study of time.  One of the rituals was stolen by a former master.  The Zealot, Kaecilius.  Just after he strung up the former librarian and relieved him of his head."

It sends a bolt of pain through Sabrina's chest to hear how casually Wong regards Abiral's death.  As if his wake had not been just the previous week.  As if he had not consoled Sabrina as she cried.  As if he had not been the one to patch her up while the Ancient One chased after her demons.  As if the wounds were not still fresh.  Abiral was Sabrina's friend.  Abiral cared about her just as much as she had cared about him.  The death of a friend is not something that you can move on from easily.  They expect Sabrina to be able to move on from Abiral's death as if he had meant nothing to her.  As if she was not forced to watch as they tortured him and cut off his head.  It's as if she is a bird and they have stripped her of her wings, but still expect her to fly.  They had not been there.  They will never be able to understand the pain that Sabrina has been put through.  And this is another reason why Sabrina does not belong at Kamar-Taj.  She's still young.  She's still a child, and yet she is expected to act as if she is older.  She cannot remember the last time that she was allowed to act like a child.

"I am now the guardian of these books," Wong tells Stephen.  "So if a volume from this collection should be stolen again...I'd know it.  And you'd be dead before you even left the compound."

Stephen gulps involuntarily as Wong takes a menacing step toward the man and takes the book from his trembling hands, snapping it shut in the process.  The sound echoes throughout the chamber and Sabrina flinches.  Stephen's eyes flit to her and she looks away, crossing her arms tightly over her chest and trying not to cry.  She can't cry now. 

"What if it's just overdue?" Stephen asks.  "Any late fees I should know about?  Maiming, perhaps?"  Wong's face remains expressionless as he presents the stack of books to Stephen.  The former glances down at the stack of books and then back up at Wong.  He takes a deep breath and heaves a heavy sigh, shaking his head.  "Well, you know, people used to think I was funny."

"Did they work for you?" Wong responds.

Stephen's jaw drops, taken aback.

Sabrina tries to laugh, but she can't bring herself to.

Stephen shakes his head and takes a breath.  "All right.  Well, it's been lovely talking to you.  Both of you.  Thank you for the books and the horrifying story..." He crosses to the nearby table and gathers the rest of the books that Wong has pulled for him.  "And the threat upon my life."

Wong doesn't answer, and instead only bows slightly as Stephen makes his way out of the library.  Sabrina leans back against the shelf behind them and slides down until their knees are drawn to their chest.  She warps her arms around her shins and rests her head on top of her knees and watches as Wong delicately places The Book of Cagliostro back where it belongs on the shelf before she speaks up.

"You didn't have to be so...indifferent," Sabrina says quietly.

Wong tilts his head.  "What do you mean?"

"Abiral," Sabrina answers.

"Sabrina," Wong says.  Sabrina can already start to imagine the speech of disappointment that she's going to get from him as she pushes herself up from the ground.  "It's been hard for all of us—"

"Has it?" Sabrina retorts.  She can already feel the hot tears springing to her eyes.  It's been a long time since she's been so passionate about her feelings.  Balance is something that she hangs on by the tips of her fingers most days, but today it seems that her grip has slipped away.  Dangerous things happen sometimes when she loses her balance, but right now, she doesn't care.  "Has it really?  Because it feels like I'm the only one here who actually cares.  And everyone just expects me to act like it never happened and it's sucky and stupid because it did happen and it was scary and acting like it never happened isn't going to change the fact that it did happen.  And I don't know why or when everyone decided that we just weren't going to talk about it and I feel like crap because of it and every time I come in here I want to vomit.  but nobody here understands because I don't fit in here and I never have because this isn't a place for kids and it never has been and sometimes I just wish I can be anywhere but here."

She furiously wipes at her face with the sleeve of her shirt and runs out of the library before Wong can respond. 

author's note: i genuinely did not know how to end this so you get that shitty last sentence :) um anyway, i realized early on that kamar-taj wouldn't be a good place for sabrina it just seems like the kind of place that wouldn't be good for kids???  if you know what i mean?  she desperatly needs therapy and a person to talk to and friends her own age.  also for reference, she is peter parker's age.  so however old he was in 2016 which was i believe 15??

also i gave the unnamed librarian that kaecilius slaughtered in the beginning a name because he deserves one.  sabrina and wong do have a consistently good relationship, but sabrina was just having a really bad day and she doesn't have the support that she needs and it all just ended up spilling out.  anyway she and wong are besties fr and shit talk people in front of them in chinese.  stephen & sabrina bonding next chapter??  i think yes.