chapter three
hey stephen

        Sabrina feels like her brain is rattling in her skull as Green Day's Brain Stew reverberates around her cramped bedroom (along with the Mystic Arts, Kamar-Taj also practices the art of minimalism).  Her head hangs off of the end of her bed, hair brushing the floor while her feet lay crossed and propped on top of her pillows.  Wong does not follow her after her outburst in the library.  He understands when he is wanted and when he is not.  Her bedroom is the one place that she gets to herself in a place like Kamar-Taj.  It's the one thing that is truly hers.  She knows everything about it—how many steps it takes to get from her bed to her door, which floorboards she should avoid stepping on when she wanders in the night, the concise order of the few books that line the shelf above her bed, she knows where the best place to hide is, she knows how to close the closet doors just right.

The transition from Brain Stew to Hey Stephen is almost jarring, but Sabrina doesn't mind.

Taylor Swift stares down at her from where the poster hides behind the leaves of the small potted tree that she's taken the liberty of growing for the past three years.  Taylor Swift has always provided her a sense of comfort that nobody else could.  Taylor Swift always knew how Sabrina was feeling.  (But even Taylor Swift can't be there for Sabrina forever—she's taken a hiatus and Sabrina doesn't know when she'll be back).  They clutch their stuffed pig to their chest, the fur is matted and stained from the years that she had towed it behind her at Kamar-Taj.  She holds it because it is hers and it will always be hers and nobody else's.  Sabrina can't wait until they can get a place of their own—a place that they can call their own and nobody else's where everything in it will belong to her and only her.  She can't wait to make her own choices—to go to the grocery store in the early morning and stay up late on the rooftops, to have the people she likes over and serve them tea and cookies.  They can't wait until they're old enough to move far away from Kamar-Taj and leave their past behind them.  Because these days, the past seems more of a gaping wound in her chest than anything else. 

Nobody had ever asked Sabrina if this is what she wanted.  Nobody had asked her if she wanted to sign her youth away to the Mystic Arts and spend her entire life inside the walls of Kamar-Taj.  Nobody had ever asked Sabrina what she wanted.  It had always been what it is.  Some path she was set to walk down before she could choose.  She had been taken in before she was even able to grasp the concept of free will.  And the thing is, this isn't what Sabrina wants.  Yes, she's bled at Kamar-Taj, but that does not make it her home—she doesn't think that she will ever feel at home in a place like Kamar-Taj.

Three short, terse knocks sound from the other side of her thin door.  Sabrina knows enough to know that it is neither Wong nor Mordo who stands on the other side of the door.  Frustrated, she lets out a long sigh and places her hands on the ground, and kicks her feet over so that she flips and her feet land neatly on the stone floor.  She takes the five steps from the foot of her bed to the door and pulls it open with a soft creak to be greeted by Stephen patiently standing opposite her.

"Hi?" She says, tilting her head as she leans against the threshold.

"Hey," Stephen replies.

"You don't really look like an angel, but I guess I'll take it," Sabrina says in a half-hearted attempt at a joke.

Stephen blinks.  "What?"

"Well, you're Stephen, and Hey Stephen was playing and I thought—never mind," Sabrina says with a shake of her head.  "What's up, Doc?"

"I, um, heard what you said in the library," Stephen answers.  Sabrina raises her eyebrows but chooses to stay silent and chew on the inside of her cheek.  "I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"That's...oddly nice of you," Sabrina replies.  There's a lightness on her shoulders that wasn't there a few moments before.  She's touched that a man who barely knows her felt the need to check in on her.  Maybe Stephen isn't as bad as she had initially thought.  "But I'm okay.  It's just...been a rough couple of weeks."

"Anything to do with what happened to the, uh...former librarian?"

Sabrina bristles slightly but nods.  "Yeah.  Everything to do with it, actually."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm sure you don't want to hear about it, thank you, though."

Stephen only shakes his head.  "I might not have studied psychology but even I know that everyone needs someone to talk to every now and then."

Sabrina sighs and then smiles.  "Fine.  But not here.  Follow me."

They take a step out into the hallway and close their bedroom door behind them.  Stephen trails after them as they lead the way through the hallways.  Sabrina can walk this route with her eyes closed.  The path is worn although she cannot see it.  Eventually, she finds herself on the rooftops of Kamar-Taj.  Most of the sorcerers have retreated inside as the day comes to a close.  The sun is setting over the horizon, casting long shadows across the courtyard and painting the sky with orange and pink.  Out here it's just Sabrina, Stephen, and the sky.

"Are we..." Stephen trails off for a moment, slowly turning around to study his surroundings.  "Are we allowed to be up here?"

"Does it matter?" Sabrina replies.

"No.  I suppose not," Stephen replies.  "You know, I never caught your name."

"Sabrina."

Stephen smiles wryly.  "Like the teenage witch?"

Sabrina only sends him a withering glare.  "Joke's old.  Get a new one."

"How'd you get here?" Stephen wonders.  "To Kamar-Taj, I mean."

"Oh," says Sabrina.  "We're starting there."

"If you don't want to—"

"No, it's okay," Sabrina assures him.  She takes a seat at the ledge of the roof and dangles her feet over the edge, swinging them through the air.   "Um.  I've been here for as long as I can remember.  I was abandoned here or something.  I don't know.  The Ancient One decided to take me in.  Teach me the ways of the Mystic Arts.  Sometimes I wish she hadn't."

Stephen takes a seat on the ledge beside her.  "Why not?"

"Well, I think it's pretty clear that I don't exactly belong there," Sabrina says with a bitter sort of laugh.  "They forget that I'm still a kid.  Expect me to act grown.  Don't get me wrong—they've been good to me—but they just don't understand sometimes.  Kamar-Taj is a place where people come to get healed.  It's been a long time since they were kids."

Stephen nods.

"When Abiral died, um, I was a mess," Sabrina continues, gaze downcast and hands clasped in her lap.  "Still am.  Wong and The Ancient One helped me for a little bit.  But now nobody talks about it.  I had to watch as they cut off his head.  That isn't exactly something you can easily move on from, you know?"

"God," Stephen murmurs.  "That's horrible."

Sabrina shrugs.  "It's whatever, I guess."

"You know, um, I still have a few connections back in New York," Stephen tells her.  "I'm sure somebody knows a good person to talk to."

 "In New York?"

"Well, I mean, you could come back with me," Stephen says before he can really think about the words that pour out of his mouth.  Take the scalpel away from him and he's still a doctor.  He still wants to help people—save people.  And here's a patient right next to him in need of saving. 

"Oh," Sabrina says, shrinking away from Stephen.  "Um.  That's...um... very kind of you.  But I barely know you.  Also, aren't you broke?"

"Oh, well, I'd like to think I could figure something out."

"And I totally believe in you," Sabrina answers, patting him on the shoulder before using it to push herself up from where she sat.  "Nice talk, Doc.  See ya around."

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*

The Ancient One talks like Dumbledore, Sabrina thinks to herself.  They are alone in the Ancient One's sanctuary.  Sunlight is streaming through the latticed walls and a pot of tea sits on a nearby table that has been shoved to the outer edges of the room.  They've learned the hard way that Sabrina's magic sometimes ends in destruction if she is not careful enough.  Sabrina does not train with the others that learn at Kamar-Taj.  It's always been this way.  The Ancient One tells Sabrina that she's special.  That her magic works in a different way than the rest.  That nobody can ever know just how special Sabrina is.  Sabrina knows that The Ancient One just tells her this so that she can feel better about how she requires more one-on-one time than anybody else in order to learn her magic.

Sabrina doesn't mind, though.  This way, she can spend more time with The Ancient One.  This way, The Ancient One's attention is on Sabrina, and only Sabrina.  It makes Sabrina feel loved.  It makes her feel seen.  The Ancient One is the closest thing that she has ever had to a mother, and really, who wouldn't do anything for the love of a mother?  The Ancient One doesn't show her love often, so when The Ancient One tells Sabrina that they're special, they believe her.  When The Ancient One asks her to do something, she does it because Sabrina knows that The Ancient One loves her, and Sabrina loves The Ancient One just the same.  And although Sabrina knows she does not want to stay at Kamar-Taj forever, she knows that she would not be where she is today without The Ancient One.  The Ancient One had taken a chance on her when nobody else had. 

"Focus your thoughts," The Ancient One reminds Sabrina.  The Ancient One walks in slow circles around Sabrina as she conjures circles and squares and triangles in the familiar sparkling gold.  The warmth in the pit of her chest is back, only growing with each layer added to her intricate geometric pattern.  The hunger for more is back but Sabrina shoves it down back into the pits of her stomach from where the hunger first came.  "Good."

At The Ancient One's prompting nod, Sabrina thrusts her palms forward and her shield burns brightly before it dissipates in a shower of golden sparks.

"That's enough for today," The Ancient One tells her with a smile.  "You're improving."

"Really?" Sabrina asks, eyes bright. 

"Yes," The Ancient One answers.  She smiles.  "I'm proud of you."

Sabrina feels like she's soaring.  It's been a long time since somebody has told her that they're proud of her.  And she knows that it isn't because they aren't proud of her.  It's just something that gets lost over the years in the same way that I love you gets lost over the years because it's something that goes without saying on most days (but now that Sabrina thinks about it, she doesn't think she's ever heard someone tell her that they love her).  But the verbalization of I'm proud of you makes it so much more real and so much more genuine.  Sabrina suspects that Wong has told The Ancient One about her outburst the previous day.  They've all been treading on eggshells around her—Wong, The Ancient One, and Mordo—and maybe this isn't so bad.  Maybe this way, they'll learn to understand how she feels.  Maybe this way, they'll remember that she's still just a kid.

"Come, I've one last lesson to teach," The Ancient One says crossing the room and beckoning for Sabrina to follow.  "I'll be needing your assistance, and I reckon you'll gain something from this lesson as well."

Sabrina follows The Ancient One dutifully through Kamar-Taj almost like a lost puppy.  They do not speak, but for Sabrina, simply walking alongside The Ancient One is enough.  It's almost pathetic how eagerly she laps up praise and time that The Ancient One gives her.  But when a child is not fed enough love growing up, they learn to take it in any way that they can.  Even if it means licking it off of knives.  But love is a foreign object in Sabrina's ribcage and on some days she has to resist the urge to tear it out.

Hamir silently joins them and Sabrina deflates slightly.  She doesn't let either The Ancient One or Hamir see her silent disappointment.  She has no reason to be disappointed.  Not really.  This isn't about her.  It's never been about her.  Because really, who is she in this vast multiverse?  She is but a speck already fading away on the horizon.  Humans have always been focused on themselves, but when we take a look at the big picture, we realize that the Universe is infinitely wide.  On a larger scale, we are insignificant.  We are but a single cloud in an endless sky.  We mean nothing.  We only control what we do to our planet and nothing more.  We do not rule the universe.

The Ancient One leads them to the courtyard where the trainees stand in two lines, all in perfect uniform.  Sabrina watches as their portals shimmer in the afternoon light.  Mordo walks along the two lines, surveying the students' progress.  The only trainee who has not yet mastered the feat of tearing a small hole through time and space is Stephen who conjures up sparks but nothing more.  Sabrina is not surprised.  They think that Stephen is the kind of man who had had everything handed to him on a silver platter growing up, and now, he lets every small obstacle stand in his way.  Of course, she understands the mental block that he's placed in front of himself.  A car crash and tremoring hands is not something that you can walk away from unscathed.

"And stop," Mordo instructs as soon as he catches eyes with The Ancient One.  Stephen lets out a sigh and hangs his head in defeat, letting his arms hang limply at his sides.  The crackling stops and the golden halos disappear from the courtyard.

"I would like a moment alone with Mister Strange," The Ancient One says.

"Of course," Mordo replies as he dismisses the trainees.

"My hands," Stephen says with a sigh as he approaches The Ancient One.

"It's not about your hands," The Ancient One replies.

Stephen lets out a frustrated, disbelieving sigh.  "How is this not about my hands?"

The Ancient One turns over her shoulder and nods to Hamir.  "Master Hamir."

Hamir silently steps forward with his head bowed and his hands concealed within the sleeves of his robe.  He takes the space in between Stephen and The Ancient One and with his right hand, rolls up the sleeve of his left arm to reveal the amputated limb.  Sabrina grins and Stephen watches with wonder as Hamir draws his own geometric pattern with the golden light and moves his arms with a fluidity and grace that Sabrina wishes that she possessed.  The pattern spins before Hamir thrusts his hands forward and it dissipates into the air in a shower of golden sparks. 

This is what Sabrina enjoys about the Mystic Arts.  There is no right way to do anything.  Each person's magic is uniquely tailored to their own ability.  Each person's magic is uniquely theirs.  Sabrina cannot get reprimanded for doing something wrong if there is no right way to do something to begin with.

"Thank you, Master Hamir," The Ancient One says.  Hamir bows his head and turns on his heel, exiting the courtyard.  The Ancient One turns back to Stephen.  "You cannot beat a river into submission.  You have to surrender to its current...and use its power as your own."

Stephen shakes his head.  "I control it by surrendering control?  That doesn't make any sense."

"Not everything does," The Ancient One replies.  "Not everything has to.  Your intellect has taken you far in life.  But it will take you no further.  Surrender, Stephen.  Silence your ego and your power will rise."

Stephen steps back as The Ancient One slips on her Sling Ring and opens a gateway.  Sabrina peers through the portal and already recognizes the snowy mountain tops of Mount Everest.  This is Sabrina's favorite method of teaching a student to open a portal.  Place them in a life-or-death situation, and nine out of ten times, they will muster the will to open the portal themself.  Because when under the conditions of fear, we relinquish all logic and return to our primal state.  We forget everything that we thought we once knew.  We will do anything to escape the duress of fear.

"Follow me," The Ancient One instructs, stepping forward through the portal.

Stephen, wide-eyed with wonder steps through the portal, and Sabrina follows him.  Instinctively, she wraps her arms around her chest as the cold wind batters and blows her tunic.  Snowflakes settle in her hair, and she thinks if the atmosphere wasn't so deadly, that she would enjoy the scenery.

"Wait," Stephen calls over the howling of the wind, turning around in small circles to take in the rocky mountain top.  "Is this..."

"Everest!" The Ancient One confirms.  "Beautiful."

"Yeah, right, beautiful," Stephen agrees, panting.  "Freezing, but beautiful."

"At this temperature, a person can last for thirty minutes before suffering permanent loss of function," The Ancient One informs Stephen. 

"Great," Stephen remarks, wrapping his arms tighter around his body.

"But you'll likely go into shock within the first two," The Ancient One concludes.

The Ancient One nods at Sabrina, who grins.  This is always her favorite part of the lesson.  Leaving a child alone on the tops of Mount Everest with the student raises the stakes.  They become desperate to open a portal back to Kamar-Taj because they do not want the life of a child on their hands.  They do not want to stain their hands with somebody else's blood.  (Even if they won't last much longer).

It's only then, that Stephen fully registers what The Ancient One is telling him.  He whips around to face The Ancient One, but she is already halfway through the portal.  "What?" He calls.

"Surrender, Stephen," The Ancient One calls over her shoulder.

And with that, the portal closes behind her.

"No!" Stephen screams, diving for the portal. Sabrina watches, amused as he passes through thin air and lands in a heap on the snowy ground.

"Ooh," Sabrina says, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against a nearby rock, "hypothermia's already setting in. I can feel it."

Stephen pushes himself up from the ground and whirls around to face her. The wind buffets his hair more violently now, and he has registered just how little time remains in the hourglass. They'll be dead within in the next few moments if they do not get out. He points emphatically to where the portal had been just a few moments before. There's a silent rage in his eyes, that Sabrina is sure will only grow the longer they are stranded on the tops of Mount Everest. Good. He'll need that rage. So long as he doesn't take it all out on Sabrina.

"Did you know?" He shouts.

Sabrina stares innocently at him. "Know what?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Stephen retorts. "Did you know she would leave us here?"

Sabrina only shrugs. "Who knows anything these days?"

"God," Stephen murmurs.

"I prefer Sabrina."

Stephen only lets out a sigh of annoyance and thrusts his Sling Ring at Sabrina. "Here. You get us out of here."

Sabrina only shakes her head and waves her hands in denial. "Last time I opened a portal, Kamar-Taj flooded. I don't think we want that happening here." It isn't entirely a lie, Sabrina thinks. It had happened—only it had been years before. Stephen doesn't need to know this, though. "Time's ticking, Doc. Do you really want the death of a kid on your consciousness?"

"You're really annoying, you know that?" Stephen shouts.

"Tell me something I don't know!" Sabrina replies.

Stephen sighs and faces the rocky wall. Holding one trembling hand up, he starts to frantically circle the other. His eyes are screwed shut in concentration as he conjures the golden sparks in front of him. He's too unfocused. He still has yet to learn the balance. He still has yet to let go of everything that he thought he knew. Stephen is a man of science and a man of pride. It comes as no surprise that he will not easily relinquish all that he has ever known. But perhaps now, he will find it easier once he realizes that he has no choice but to let go.

Sabrina watches as he lets out a grunt of frustration and drops his trembling hands.

He hangs his head low and takes a deep, steadying breath.  He assumes a wider, stronger stance against the buffeting wind.  He seems to know that they won't have much time left.  Sabrina can already feel the cold biting at her fingers.  He thrusts his arms up once more, but this time, there's more power within them.  This time, when he circles his hand, the gold sparks do not dissipate.  This time, the portal rips through space and she can see the courtyard of Kamar-Taj and The Ancient One and Mordo standing just beyond the portal.

Stephen takes a step forward, and then another until he's on the other side and collapses onto the cobbled ground.  Sabrina is quick to follow after him just before the portal closes behind them.

author's note: the beginning conversation would've been more wholesome if they actually knew each other better.  but she's honestly going to be the thorn in stephen's side but he wouldn't have it any other way <33

sabrina is a swiftie first, human second.  in this universe, taylor swift doesn't get blipped, so lover, folklore, evermore, fearless (tv), and red (tv) all come out when they do in this universe.  imagining sabrina's reaction when she learns that taylor swift released three new albums and re-recorded two while she was gone is the funniest thing ever.