Zoë

She was a wimp. Everyone was trying to be productive and make her feel good and "that everything was going to be okay." But somehow, deep down on the inside, Zoë knew it wasn't okay.

If Mom had to be transported to Los Angeles for cancer treatment, then it had to be way worse. Only really bad cases get moved to cities nearly two hours away.

"Family of Amelia Flynn."

Those four little words snapped her awake and out of her delirious haze.

She stood dizzily, Carden and Mrs. Ash attempting to steady her as she speed walked toward the nurse. "What happened to my mom?"

The nurse, her name tag read Alexi, sighed. "I feel like this should be a private conversation. Would you and your father like to follow me?"

Alec stepped forward gingerly and achingly slow, offered Zoë his hand. She wanted to slap him and tell him to get out of the hospital because he wasn't "her" family, but she took his hand anyway. She would fall if she didn't have any support if Carden couldn't come with.

But he was her boyfriend. Well, "boyfriend" if you wanted to get into the specifics.

"Can Carden come with?" He squeezed her hand as she looked at Alexi with big eyes. "Please?"

Alexi glanced behind her as if a doctor would appear and give her the Don't-break-protocol-even-if-it-is-her-boyfriend look but she reluctantly sighed. "Fine but follow me. Doctor Foster might start to get a little impatient if we don't hurry up."

Carden wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her walk forward as Alexi vanished through the bright white door that led into the actual hospital.

They walked silently through the bright white halls, the sound of Alexi's shoes squeaking on the tile and occasional coughing being the only filler. Alec gently squeezed his daughter's hand and Zoë realized he was sober for the first time in months.

Not even the smell of cigarette smoke that usually clung to his clothes was there.

"Daddy, is Mom going to be okay?" Zoë whispered quietly. She hadn't used that word since she was eight or nine years old and it tasted foreign on her tongue. He didn't deserve satisfaction in any form. But maybe Mom being in the hospital would change that.

"I...don't know, Zo. I really don't," he responded in a quiet tone.

She scrubbed away her tears with the back of her hand, Carden hugging her with confidence, as they came to a stop outside of a door with the number 132 on the front.

"Your mother is just past this door. But I'll warn you, it isn't a pretty sight in there." Alexi turned her focus onto Zoë. "You don't have to go in if you aren't ready, Miss Flynn. In fact, you don't have to go in at all. It's your choice."

"I," she swallowed her nerves, "I have too."

"Zo, listen to me." The way Carden was looking at her almost made her bawl her eyes out. He looked so caring and so loving...like he might actually have feelings for her. "Don't stress yourself out. If you don't want to go, you don't have too. I'll wait out here with you if you want."

But she shook her head.

"No, I have to see my mother." She ignored the loud voice crack and snatched one of the masks hanging from Alexi's finger. She charged into the room before someone, or maybe even herself, could change her mind.

The sight in front of her made her turn right around and bury her face in Carden's shirt. It flashed through her mind like Polaroid pictures.

Mom was hooked up to who knows what those machines were and what they were doing. IV's and tubes ran out of her body and into bags full of liquid. And that wasn't even the worst part. She looked so pale, as if she might die right then and there.

Zoë didn't realize she was crying until she tasted the saltiness of her tears drip onto her lips.

A woman, not Alexi, cleared her throat. "Ahem, if you can't witness this Miss Flynn, you are more than welcome to leave the room. Sometimes things like this can cause terrible trauma for someone so young such as you. Especially if it's happening to someone you deeply care about."

Zoë breathed a deep breath before spinning around. Carden kept his arms wrapped around her tightly, as if he knew her legs had turned to jello and as if her legs could give out at any moment.

"Lia?" Alec's voice was tender. "What's...what's wrong with her?"

Doctor Foster and Alexi shared a look.

"You don't know, sir?" Alexi asked. "I...I thought out of all people, you would know what was happening to your wife."

"Ex-wife." His eyes glassed over as he stared at his bedridden ex. "Can someone just tell me what's wrong? Please?"

"Mom has cancer," Zoë blurted out. When Alec turned to look at her, she saw an entirely different man. One that was scared for someone he cared for. One that regretted every bad decision. One that might actually...love her.

"What?"

"Indeed she does. Your daughter is correct," Doctor Foster agreed. "Miss Flynn was diagnosed with cancer, what, three or four weeks ago?"

She looked to Zoë, who nodded. "Yeah."

"Is that why all of you got so defensive over the money?"

She paused for a moment. "Yeah."

Alec went silent and then quietly excused himself. He walked straight out of the room without another word.

Everyone stared at the door until Alexi cleared her throat and said, "Ahem, well then. Shall we get to the," her voice wavered for a moment as her eyes met Zoë's, "I guess, bad news?"

"Bad news?" Carden and Zoë said in unison.

Those two words made her legs give out completely and soon she was sitting on the floor with Carden holding her, and her broken pieces, together.

"What bad news?"

Alexi's voice was soft and caring as she whispered, "Are you sure you don't want a minute, dear? We can wait or we can tell your boyfriend and he can relay the message?"

"No. Just tell me, us."

All the attention turned to Doctor Foster as she opened the file that she had been holding in the crook of her arm. "Well, it seems your mother's cancer is much more serious than Doctor Murr originally thought. Through some testing, we've discovered that she has had cancer for at least the past year. Maybe more. But the cancer has officially set in that and that is why the symptoms have begun to show." She closed the file and looked at Zoë with a sad smile. "I'm very sorry, Zoë."

All of Doctor Foster's words jumbled into one giant voice that screamed "YOUR MOM IS SCREWED! She's going to die so good luck living with your addictive father and his girlfriend haha!"

"Is she going to die?"

The words dripped off of her lips before she could stop them. They were the words that she wished she never would have to say again, but the answer worried her more.

Tears gently began to brim as the two women shared a knowing look and Alexi excused herself to get a cup of ice chips for Mom.

"Is she?" Zoë demanded as she tore herself from Carden's comforting grip and stalked closer to the Doctor. When she didn't answer, she whispered, "Please, just tell me. I...I need to know."

"There's a possibility but," Doctor Foster gripped Zoë's shoulders with a firm grip, "we will do everything we can to keep her alive and if some major setback happens, you'll be the first to know. I can at least promise you that."

Zoë couldn't see her own two hands. All she knew was that they were shaking so badly that she winced when her bones cracked against each other.

Someone, Carden, tried to hug her but she yelled, "AIR! I NEED AIR!"

She pushed open the door and sprinted down the hall. It felt like the walls were closing in and all the air was being sucked out of her lungs. The walls would suffocate her and trap her. She would never escape. She would be stuck and be forced to stay here, waiting for her mother to die or not.

She slammed into the door that lead into the waiting room and tumbled out, clutching her head and screaming at all the voices to shut up.

So many voices demanded to know what had happened. So many loud ones. Someone tried to hold her but she ripped herself from them and took off running down to the entry doors.

Air.

It was so close.

Loud footsteps pounded behind her and she screamed, "AIR!"

The doors opened and sweet, crisp air filled her lungs. But she didn't stop running. If she ran fast enough, she could run away from her problems. Mom wouldn't have cancer and she wouldn't be on her deathbed. Chloe wouldn't try to end things between her and Carden. Alec would stay sober and they could be a happy family. If she just ran...

"Zoë!"

Someone grabbed her arm with a grip that was iron yet so caring. She attempted to rip her arm away and keep running. There was a parking lot across the street.

That would be far enough.

The hand slipped as she yanked her arm with such force, she cried out. But her legs kept moving. She bolted across the street at full speed and finally collapsed on a patch of grass hidden in the shade of a large tree.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Zoë whispered as she pulled her knees up to her chest. "This can't be happening. No, no, no. Please, no."

"Zoë," the voice said gently and when she pried her eyes open, she met the brown ones of her friend. "Hey, it's okay."

"Cal!" Zoë threw her arms around her shoulders and sobbed into the collar of her denim jacket. "How-why are you here?"

"Because. I know we aren't the closest of friends but when I saw you run away from Carden like that, I knew something was up. I'm here for you Z, even if it doesn't seem like I am. And for the how, Amber drove me and Andrew and that weird guy who loves to flirt with Amber here."

"Cam?"

"Yeah, him."

She laughed. "Thank you."

The two girls went silent for a moment, grateful for each other's warm embrace. Cars came and went along the road separating Zoë from her latest nightmares. She felt something inside her crack. Maybe a piece of her heart? Or maybe it was her sanity?

She didn't care anymore. Both were broken beyond repair.

"But Z," Cal's voice cracked as it filled the void, "what happened in there?"

"Mom-"

Zoë couldn't say it. If she said it, it would become reality.

But the words had to be said.

She pulled away from her grip to wipe at her eyes. Things were slowly becoming clearer but the headache that had flamed was burning. She winced as the loud pounding chanted the word "death" endlessly.

Cal wiped away a stray tear from Zoë's face. "You don't have to tell me right now but I'm going to find out. Either from you or Carden or Alexi but I'd much rather hear it from my friend."

The last word echoed around her brain. If Cal and Carden and all of her friends could be there for her to hold her up when she fell, then she wouldn't have to hold this burden alone. She was never truly alone. Never had been.

That gave her the courage to say the words.

"Mom might die."

Shock and pity flickered across Cal's face as the words settled in. "What? I thought your mom was, like, really healthy or something like that?"

"I did too but...she has cancer and it's so much more worse than they originally intended. She could...I don't want her to die, Cal."

She wrapped her arms around Zoë. "She won't."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do."

"Should we go back?"

"If you're ready."

"I think I am."

"Alright."

Cal supported Zoë as they walked back toward the glowing hospital. To Zoë, every step was like a nail in a coffin. She was afraid to walk back there, afraid to face the people in there. But the looks were what scared her the most.

Looks of pity.

When they walked into the waiting room and all eyes turned to her, her legs wobbled from the enormous wave of pity that hit her. From now on, she'd be the girl who's mom had cancer and could die at any moment.

"Zo, I'm-" Amber tried but Zoë interrupted her.

"Don't. I don't need your apologies right now. I just...I just know that everything is going to be alright."

Mrs. Ash piped up with a smile as her son embraced Zoë with a rib braking hug. "It will be, dear. And you've got a large support group behind you."

"That's one hundred percent true," Carden agreed.

"Thanks." She tightened her grip on him. "And I know I've got someone like you who's there for me."

He pulled back to meet her gaze. "Did you ever doubt that?"