Autumn tapped her pencil against the desk, staring blankly into the screen of the phone Cade had given her. Calls were only incoming, never outgoing. It killed her; not being able to call Cade or Tate whenever she wanted.

She tried to busy herself during the day to keep her mind off of them. She worked hard, always worked through lunch. However, she eventually ran out of things to do. When work would get slow, she'd only be able to sit there and watch; counting the minutes of her uneventful day.

It had been two months and a few weeks since she'd left. It had been more than two months since she'd seen her friends; since she said seen Tate. They called when they could, but after Autumn had left things had gotten worse.

Cade had told her the last time they'd talked, two weeks ago, all of the horrible things the council had done to right the wrongs and fix the rules they'd broken. The council had interrogated everyone Autumn had ever even spoke to.

Those who she had helped with there powers had to be tested and examined by Ezra, the council saying they were checking to see the damage she had done. Ezra had lied on the reports, afraid something would happen to those she'd helped. Cade said they were doing this because they were afraid of the people rioting.

Her heart ached at just the thought of being the reason the people she loved had to go through so much.

"Hey," someone called, tapping there fists against the desk top. Autumn jumped, flinging her pencil. It smashed into the wall behind her, she scrambled to pick it up. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Autumn scooped up the pencil, turning to face him.

"Hey," Autumn grinned, dropping the pencil onto the table top. It took her a moment to remember his name. Her new coworker, whom had asked her at least ten times in two months to go out with him. Birch leaned over the counter, snatching Autumn's phone. Strands of his butterscotch hair fell over his eyes. He simply combed them away.

"What's so special about this phone? You're constantly staring into it like it's-" Autumn didn't let him finish. She rose to her feet and grabbed the phone back before he could continue.

"I've been uh . . . expecting a call . . . from a close friend. Just been really eager about it." She tried to play it off, tucking her mocha hair behind her ear.

"It's fine," he laughed. "You do see the time don't you?" Autumn hadn't even checked the time. It had been two hours since she had last seen it. "You could have left by now."

"Yeah..." Autumn had no excuse; no reason.

"You know, a few of us are going down to the bar down the road. You should come with, get a drink."

"I . . . I don't know," Autumn shrugged, forcing on her leather jacket; Clarke's jacket. "I should get back to my apartment soon."

"Raincheck again? What's so exciting about going to your apartment to feed your cat?" Birch laughed with an innocent smile.

"I don't have a cat actually," Autumn attempted to come up with something to say in return just as sassy as his. However, she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"So, no valid excuse?" Birch cocked his head sideways. Autumn bit her lip, staring back down at her phone. No missed calls, no messages; nothing.

"Just one drink," Autumn agreed, pulling her purse out from under her desk.

"Yes! I have done it! Hear that world? I have gotten the illusive Amber McAdams to agree to hang out with me." Autumn flinched at her new alias. She hadn't become used to anyone calling her Amber, not yet.

Forcing her messenger bag over her shoulder, she circled around the desk and they headed out. They walked into the parking lot, heading toward one of the only cars left.

"This beauty right here is obsidian," Birch paused to tap the hood of his coal black bmw.

"Obsidian?" Autumn wondered.

"Yeah. It's basically a really cool way to say black." Birch opened the passenger side door, gesturing for Autumn to get inside. "Milady." Autumn giggled, curtsied like a moron, and then sat in the car.

Birch shut the door, jogged around to the driver side, and hopped in. He started the car, the radio turning on and Katy Perry blasting through the speakers. Birch rushed to shut it off, nervously chuckling as he eyed Autumn.

"It's a guilty pleasure." Birch started the car and drove out of the lot. Autumn rubbed her finger over her screen, still waiting around for a call. It felt like that was what her whole life was now, sitting around waiting.

Before she even knew it, they were parked outside of the bar and Birch was ushering her out and inside. The bar was loud, and filled with people. Music blasted, people danced all around, and others crowded around the tiny monitors watching sports games closely.

Birch lead Autumn through the maze of tables before reaching one with a few people she recognized from work.

"Hey guys!" He shouted, shoving Autumn forward. Resting his hands on her shoulders, he continued. "You guys know Amber, the prettiest little receptionist. After a month of begging, she has finally agreed to join us." Autumn waved slightly.

"About time," one of his friends scooted out a chair, patting it. Autumn slid past Birch, resting in the seat. "Birch has only been talking about his failed attempts to ask you about for the past few months. It's been quite annoying to be honest."

A waitress came over, setting down a few drinks. Birch ordered another one, handing the one his friends had ordered for him to Autumn.

"I'm Felicity," the girl with the fuschia hair that sat across from her introduced. "This is Jeremiah," she pointed to the man sitting next to her. "Hendrix." Hendrix wasn't paying attention, whispering something to Birch. "Jane and May." Jane and May were best friends, always together skipping around the office.

Autumn sent everyone a kind greeting before sipping from her beer.

"So, Amber. Tell us a little about yourself. You didn't start here too long ago at our company, did you?" Felicity questioned as the waitress set down a basket of chips and a drink for Birch.

"I started a few months ago," she never realized how much she hated being called Amber until that moment.

"Where did you move from?" Hendrix questioned, grabbing a handful of chips and shoving them into his mouth.

"Those aren't yours," May growled.

"A smaller town, just a few hours away from here." Autumn didn't want to even think of her past.

"Why did you move here?" Jane added on, stealing a chip right from Hendrix's hand.

"Just . . ." she paused, unsure of what to say. Autumn downed nearly half of her drink to avoid finishing the rest of that question. "Wanted a fresh start."

"I know exactly what that means," Felicity shouted. "Boyfriend troubles?" Autumn could feel the blood rushing to her face.

"Felicity," Birch shot her a wide-eyed look.

"What? Come on. Tell us about the old jerk." Autumn knew Felicity was just trying to be friendly, but she didn't want her to keep pestering her about it. Before Autumn could stop herself, she blurted out the truth.

"He died." The group fell silent, Autumn suddenly relieved to finally let it off her chest and tell someone the truth. However, she felt like the biggest buzzkill in existence.

"Oh god, I am so sorry." Felicity whined.

"It's okay . . ." Autumn finished the contents of her cup in a matter of seconds.

"Next rounds on me," Felicity leapt from the table and disappeared, heading toward the bar. Autumn was so used to people knowing Mark had passed, and how, she was surprised by there reactions.

To Autumn, it was crazy to know there was an entire world out there the people before her didn't know about. Birch, Felicity, and the others would never know about the horrible things that happen behind closed doors.

Felicity came back and slid another glass to Autumn.

"May I ask, how did he die?" Hendrix asked.

"Hendrix!" Felicity shouted, throwing a chip at him. Birch buried his face in his hands.

"What?" He was obviously confused.

"It's okay," Autumn nodded. She twiddled her thumbs for a moment. It had felt so good to have someone to talk to, she wanted to keep speaking. However, Mark didn't deserve to be branded whatever he was going to by her telling the truth.

So, she lied.

"We were  out shopping and someone had shot up the store. He was killed." It hurt her to lie. It physically caused her chest to ache.

"I remember hearing about that story, it's so awful. I'm so sorry Amber," May frowned, resting her hand on Autumn's.

"Didn't some girl go missing after that?" Hendrix commented.

"I think I heard about that. She just up and disappeared." Jane continued the conservation. Autumn couldn't help but wonder if she was that girl.

"Let's talk about something else guys," Felicity said whilst slamming her palms against the table. Felicity started up a conversation about a new sandwich shop in town.

Autumn had mixed emotions. For the first time, she had someone to talk to. So, she was relieved to get most things off her chest. She was angry they kept pestering her. She was upset about Mark.

A group of college kids cheered as someone scored a touchdown. Autumn looked to there group. One guy wrapped his arms around the girl in front of him, both of them laughing.

That used to be her.

She had graduated college. She was going to move in with Mark. Autumn was going to start her life. And then she walked into that store to buy something for Marks' mother.

And just like that she was dead.

Autumn tried to pay attention to the people she was with. She faked a laugh every so often, added a comment where necessary, told a joke once or twice.

It felt like years before the group decided to leave and head back to Felicity's for a movie. Autumn claimed she didn't feel well, and departed ways from everyone. She checked her phone the second she walked away; still nothing.

She could feel tears building in her eyes.

"Amber!" Birch shouted. She didn't turn around at first. It took a minute for her to remember her new name was Amber. When she did, she turned to face him. "I do not think I could survive another movie night with them."

"Yeah," Autumn tittered.

"Do you need a ride home? I don't mind. I owe you at least that much." Autumn would have much rather walked home, staring at her phone yet again. But her feet hurt, and she accepted the ride. They made it to the car in silence.

Autumn gave him the directions he needed to take her to her apartment complex and didn't say another word. Birch carried on a conversation by himself, speaking about the last time he hung out with all of his friends at once.

He pulled up to her complex, forcing the car into park.

"Thank you for the ride," Autumn smiled as she unbuckled.

"Yeah, no problem." He turned down the radio, watching as Autumn collected her things and reached for the door handle. "I'm so sorry about my friends. There not the best at keeping there mouths shut. I honestly didn't think they'd ask you about all of that stuff. I told them to be normal and-"

"Birch," she cut him off. "It's really okay. All of that stuff happened almost a year ago." Autumn paused, amazed it had almost been a year since she had been shot, and her life had changed forever.

"I guess I'll just have to make it up to you by taking you out to dinner this saturday."

"You have been so sweet and nice to be but-"

"You have a boyfriend," Birch let out a puff of air, hair swaying as he did. "I figured. All of the pretty girls are taken."

"Thank you for taking me out today and driving me home," she threw on her purse. Birch bobbed his head, tapping his thumb against the wheel. "You know, I could always use a friend." The corner of his eyes wrinkled as he beamed.

"I would like that." Autumn opened the door and got out, leaning in the doorway.

"Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He waved at Autumn as she shut the door. She was halfway to the entrance when she heard the radio blasting. She glanced over her shoulder, watching Birch screech Katy Perry's 'Roar' as he drove off.

Autumn laughed at him as her phone began to ring. She simply reached into her back pocket and answered it.

"Hello?" She headed into her complex.

"Don't sound too excited," Cade scoffed. Autumn hesitated, checking out the phone before she realized it really was him.

"Hey!" She giddily shouted.

"Forgotten all about us already?"

"No," she dug into her purse for her keys as she made it up the stairs. "I was just-"

"Out with the Johnny Bravo. I saw." Autumn couldn't help but see the resemblance between Birch and Johnny and laughed so hard her side hurt.

"How did you know?" She questioned after she'd managed to calm down. Unlocking the door to her apartment, she stepped inside.

"I don't want to say I was watching the security cameras to see if you were off of work so I could call you . . . But I was watching the security cameras to see if you were off of work so I could call you."

"You've upgraded to stalking now," Autumn tossed her keys on the counter as she locked the three different locks on her front door.

"I have actually. It's quite easy."

"How come you didn't call sooner?" Autumn kicked off her shoes, opening the fridge.

"You finally went out with friends. You finally rejoined the human population." Autumn could hear Cade tapping away on the keyboard.

"I did, and it was awful." Autumn pulled out a takeout box, opening it to investigate its contents. "I forgot how annoying the human race was." She stuck the box in the microwave, clicking the 30 seconds button and walking off.

"Now you know what we had to deal with," Cade mocked. Autumn took off her jacket, resting it on the bed.

"Thanks," she rolled her eyes as she giggled.  She could hear someone arguing with Cade. She couldn't understand what they were saying, but she could tell Cade was getting angry.

Autumn went back into the kitchen, got her box out of the microwave, sat down and began to eat it. The fight continued on for five minutes before it stopped abruptly.

"Hey," she recognized that voice. It made her heart skip a beat.

"Hey Tate." Saying his name made her smile the dumbest, widest smile she had.

"How long have you been listening to Cade and Clarke fight?" Autumn thought for a moment.

"About five minutes."

"Don't tell me you miss that," she could still hear them shouting at each other in the background.

"It was very entertaining." Autumn and Tate laughed in unison before they both got quiet.

"I submitted another request to go out for some medicine through the council. I have a good feeling they'll agree this time."

"That's great," Autumn tried, but failed, to sound excited as she disposed of her empty takeout box. She set her spoon in the dishwasher and headed into her bedroom.

"You don't sound too happy," Tate murmured.

"I'm sorry," Autumn plopped down onto the edge of the bed. "It's not that. It's just . . . a month ago you said the same thing. And here we are."

"I know," he sighed. "I'll see you soon, I just know it."

"I miss you," Autumn frowned.

"I miss you too. It's not the same out here without you."

"Hows Clarke?" Autumn tried to change the subject, getting upset.

"Cranky," Autumn guffawed.

"Still?"

"Yeah!" Tate roared with laughter. "Hasn't changed a bit." Cade said something and Tate fell silent, causing Autumn to become quiet as well. "I . . . have to go."

"Okay." Autumn wasn't sure what to say.

"I love you, Autumn." Hearing someone say her name was amazing.

"I love you too." The phone clicked off almost immediately. Autumn sat around and pouted for a few minutes. She hated the small conversations, not being able to see him, not being able to kiss him.

Autumn got ready for bed quickly. She brushed her teeth alone, she turned off all the lights alone, she crawled into bed alone.

Autumn turned to the empty side of the bed, running her hand over it. She could feel the tears building in her eyes just at the thought of how alone she truly was.

For the fifth time that month, she cried herself to sleep.