the hardest part of watching coming out videos when you're closeted is knowing you probably won't have the same courage to tell someone who you care about truly, or cares about you a lot. I had a mental breakdown when I came out to my friend, only because we were in her mom's house, who was strongly religious as a Christian. coming out to max wasn't as hard, because it was through texting. but I did think they were gonna block and hate me forever. but they didn't, they comforted me and told me everything was okay. I didn't tell them that I had a crush on them until October and earlier that month they came out to me. I love them so much.. it's hard to explain why I was scared to loose them because of my sexuality. I built so much courage when I tried to tell another person I'm bi, but that ended up spreading around the whole school. now most people know I'm gay, and it wasn't even me who had to tell them. but I'm so proud of myself for being able to open about my sexuality in front of my parents and them not even realizing it. I'm so proud of myself for helping people become more comfortable for who they are. I'm so proud of myself for trusting max and telling them something that made me proud for who I am. I'm so proud of myself. I'm proud of you, too.

And if you haven't found your sexuality yet, that's fine. Give yourself some time, I'll be so proud of you when you do. And love yourself, you find a way for embrasse yourself. I love you, okay?

xoxo, ny. ❤