Chapter 19

Jessie's POV

 I'm truly at my breaking point mentally. There is no stability inside of my head whatsoever. Thoughts of self harm, suicide, etc have consumed me. Buzz is trying so hard to play the role of a therapist for me and while I appreciate it, I still feel like I'm burdening him. Sure he has his moments where he falls apart, but his moments are far less than mine. I feel like it's rare for me to feel any happiness these days. I wish I wasn't like this but I am and I have to deal with it, I need to get better at coping with my demons. 

    It took nearly everything in me to leave Woody and Bo behind when we came back home. If it weren't for Buzz and Bullseye, I absolutely would have stayed without a second thought. Bonnie is a good kid but she's no Andy. There's never going to be another Andy for me. Woody felt exactly the same way. He spent months trying to adapt to being a toy of Bonnie's and he didn't feel a strong connection. He was tossed aside and spent more time in her closet than ever being played with. No toy deserves to feel neglected like that. 

      Buzz strokes my hair and it calms me down a little bit. It doesn't ease my thoughts entirely but it does ease the tension in my body. "Buzz, I don't know what I'd do with you. You're my saving grace." He blushes and continues stroking my hair. "Jessie, you were mine. I had nearly given up on ever finding love and then you waltzed into our lives. Life was never the same after that but I mean that in the best possible way. You entering our lives made life so much better, especially my life. I can't imagine life without you, I truly can't." Feeling my emotions build up, I pull him in for a passionate kiss. He's a bit taken aback but kisses me back equally as passionate a few seconds later.

       The kiss becomes so heated the two of us land on our mattress with a thud, our lips not leaving one another's. Our tongues begin to intertwine and we close the entrance to our sleeping quarters. The kissing then leads to us stripping our clothes off.... leading to us having incredible sex. "Jessie, before we go through with this, I need to ask for your consent. Are you ready to have sex?" I nod. "I'm ready Buzz. I wouldn't have stripped off my clothes if I wasn't." He asks once more and once more I reassure him that this is what I want. He nods and gently pulls me back done on the bed. We make love well into the night. 

       You probably didn't think that toys can have sex. Not all can but since we're both human like, we have all of the human like external organs. Let me tell you, I'm so glad I saved myself for Buzz. Not only is a total sweetheart, but he's also a bobcat in the sack if you catch my drift. I can't wait to have sex with him again sometime. That was absolutely incredible! I feel an adrenaline rush that I haven't felt in a long time! Yeehaw!

Hoped that you guys liked this chapter! :) -Mary