Ouma's POV:

At first, it was like back then.

An empty sea of pitch black that I kept falling into, no light that seemed to always be described when you died. Time here was immeasurable. Just a sort of distorted panic but unable to move your body or even scream against the darkness, unable to even open your eyes, just the still sensation.

The feeling reminded me of the ocean like I was slowly drowning in the arctic sea, it clawed at me further and further dragging me down, and despite wanting to scream it was so calming, I was so tired and it was promising me at the opportunity to finally sleep. 

It was like leaving the killing game, the same ocean was there back then, the ocean I had called home for the months it took for me to wake up from the hellscape. So I guess meta self experiences are on that level of confusion. 

It was so comforting. I don't want to wake up though...I don't want to deal with this weirdo inside of my head again...I just want to sleep...

...

...

...

The world didn't listen to my request.

~-~-~-~

When I woke up the breathing tube was put back in my throat, it was uncomfortable, to say the least, along with the familiar beep of monitors and the IV drip in my arm.

I reached for the button on the desk and pressed it, a little ding sound went off as I waited for whoever would remove the tube already. Maybe five minutes later Maiko walked in with a flurry of doctors and nurses.

"Ouma!" She screamed running over, "I'm so sorry, I don't understand what happened, but-" she exclaimed when I grabbed the notepad nearby.

Can you get rid of the tube now?

"What-? Oh!" Maiko looked over to the doctor, he seemed to be checking my vitals, "we can remove the tube, but I think he should remain on oxygen, his body is still in a weakened state and we don't know if his lungs will threaten collapse again" he warned.

My lungs nearly collapsed....?

My eyes widened in shock as I waited as they removed the breathing tube and switched me for an oxygen mask. At least now I could sit up and have some sort of dignity.

What did the hell happen?

I wrote, my throat hadn't recovered yet from them shoving that tube down my throat, so the doctor told me not to talk for a few days. "We had your first progressive session, however your brain couldn't handle the stress and began threatening to shut down your body and went into shock" she explained.

Thanks a lot.

"I'm trying my best Ouma," she said tired, I rolled my eyes. "Can you tell me what you remember from the experience? If you have any sort of headache?" She asked. I twiddled a bit with a pen. The truth was complicated even if I wanted to tell it, for all I know it was a dream or hallucination.

I remember taking over the world. It was a good dream.

Maiko rolled her eyes, "be serious" she said.

I also had Panta floats on standby.

"Ok. So you won't take this seriously, or at least not tell me" she sighed as she handed me a notebook with a set of pens. "This is for your therapy, I want you to write down something every day, doesn't matter how small or big, it doesn't matter if it's the truth or lies, that book is for your eyes only, even I won't have access unless you want to share it with me" she promised.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes you can draw pictures" she responded.

That wasn't my question, but ok.

I-I t-think i-it's a g-good idea...

You don't get a say on this.

H-Huh?!

"You understand Ouma?" She asked. I nodded, "ok, good, you're probably tired so I'm going to let you rest, is that ok?" She asked.

How long was I out?

"Around three days" she answered. I looked down annoyed. "I'll see you tomorrow Ouma" she called. At first, I tried to fall back asleep, it didn't work I had too much on my mind.

I played with my Rubix cube. Got bored. I figured out a lot of its tricks. The only thing that could provide any sort of entertainment was the journal. I sighed opening it up, it had lined binder pages completely blank.

I wanted to write a date. That's when I realized I don't even remember what year it is. Let alone the month.

???

Supreme Leader: Log One

I'm bored.

There's only a Rubix cube.

I memorized how to get the colors to align.

I wonder if there are cards here?

Maybe.

Today is going to be boring.

I'm going to figure out a way to sneak in panta.

DICE can help.

Does DICE exist though? Or did I imagine them inside of my head? A lot of things don't make sense still to me, I want someone to tell me what was the lie and what was the truth. I don't want someone to do that at the same time though, what if the truth is something I won't like? What if it's something awful?

What do I do then?

I paused over the last statement. It had come out of me out of nowhere, I didn't seem to have any control of myself as it flooded out onto the page. I could barely look at it, much less let any other person potentially read this. It seemed too personal, so I crossed it out. Most of the note was getting too personal. I didn't like it. It didn't matter if this was for myself.  If I explained myself I would become boring, the only way to survive is to be interesting for the viewers.

Y-You're n-not i-in the g-game anymore...

Shut up.

I laid back down and ignored the monitors, this time I drifted off.

I have a headache.