Momota's POV:

Her neck was covered in tight-laced bandages, along with a neck brace. Her eyes which shone with such life were glued onto the floor with deep eye bags, her hair was combed into a ponytail and out of her face, and although she wasn't thin and brittle like so many of the others, she didn't look as healthy as she could have been.

She tapped her fingers nervously, they carried the same bandages as she drifted her eyes back up towards me, "Hi Akamatsu" I finally greeted her, she smiled and nodded at me as she grabbed a notepad.

Hi! Sorry can't really speak, I damaged my larynx a few weeks ago

"I'm sorry to hear about that," I told her, she just shrugged and carried on a pained smile.

Better than being dead.

"You got that right! Death, well things got pretty brutal after you were gone." I admitted, she looked down sad.

I saw it on the TV, I couldn't stop myself. I needed to know what was happening to you guys after I was gone, it was driving me crazy not knowing

"Oh, so...I'm sorry Akamatsu" I apologized, "I'm sorry not all of us were able to carry out your wish, we tried...we did, and I know it may not seem like that when watching but your sacrifice for us gave us time, time to figure out what was really happening and because of that, we ended up being able to escape. Well, Saihara, Yumeno, and Maki Roll did" I told her.

She nodded but fumbled with her hospital robes before she returned to the paper, I could have done more. It's so strange now...Kiibo's dead, I wish I could have gotten to know him better before he died. And Ouma I hear went into a coma after the funeral, I tried to get in contact with Shuichi but I don't think he's doing well. Some of the others are telling me the two talked before whatever happened on that roof happened.

I feel so useless, I should be doing more but I'm not. I thought it would have been easy for us all to get along after what happened since no one really died...but I realized how wrong I was when I saw Amami.

When I saw Amami, I wanted to cry Momota. Because I keep remembering how I'm the reason he died, and seeing him there, alive, knowing I'm the one who killed him...it's something else.

I paused reading the words she wrote, she was writing frantically as if she was terrified she wouldn't be able to write anymore if she stopped at any second, "that wasn't you though...technically at least" I tried to comfort but her furious writing told me that was the wrong response.

But I did though. If I hadn't rolled that shotput ball down, then he never would have noticed that camera. If I hadn't attempted to commit the first murder then Shirogane never would have finished the job. I'm the reason why the killing game started Momota, and I left Saihara all alone to deal with the mess when I was gone.

"Saihara understood why you did what you did though, he knew you didn't want to do it. Saihara, well you were a good influence on him Akamatsu, it's almost amazing how even in a place like that he managed to gain some kind of confidence because of you, so maybe the killing game did start because of you but the reason those three survived, the reason why we could have maybe found another way to end the game sooner, was because of you. Because you told us to not give up, we were able to fight on till the end, I made friends with Saihara and Maki Roll after that.

"So...don't beat yourself up too much, we all have a share of the blame for what happened. In my opinion, an equal portion" I told her, she paused, Don't you regret what happened with Ouma though?

I paused taking the time to compose my thoughts, "I regret I didn't take that lying selfish bastard, my friend. Maybe I could have put an end to some of his more...out there plans, but do I regret killing him? Well, he wanted me to do it so I guess that took some of the burdens, and I do regret what he's going through now, but...we both wanted to end the killing game, and we both knew the consequences. So I don't carry much regret on that, at least not as much as before" I told her.

She didn't seem to believe me but nodded, Was I really an inspiration? she asked, she didn't seem to believe me for a second but I nodded, "at least to me, yes." 

~-~-~-~

The halls seemed to really have repaired since what happened only a few months ago, it almost doesn't seem real how long we've been in the facility. It feels like it was only just yesterday I woke up.

Still, it hasn't been the worst of times, it's been giving me time to think about being in this place about what I want to do when I eventually am discharged and given me time to think about what I did do during that game, the good and the bad.

How I did, in the end, kill someone.

Never thought I would have done something like that, well if I had to do it then I would have done it for some reason like Akamatsu, protection. But is that really what I did in the end? I saved the at the time five other students so I suppose I did save some people in the end, even if for two of them death came only hours later.

Still, I want to believe I did in the end matter for that game and that in the end, I don't think I have many regrets at all. I supported the people I cared about, and when it came time to take a chance to end the killing game, I took it. Sure the plan didn't work, I'm surprised they thought I was Ouma at all still, but I did in the end did what I could have done.

...but that's the thing, no one else seems to have that same kind of mindset. It seems that it's always about what they should've done, could've done, what they never should have even considered, and that kind of guilt is making us lose all our way.

Maybe, just maybe, when I do have to go...when I leave, I can find a way to make sure that wish that Akamatsu had given to us so long ago will be granted, that Kiibo's sacrifice will never be in vain, because like it or not all of us are still alive. This means that the universe itself is giving us another shot at being friends.

And like hell am I not going to take it.