I remember how I was always looking at you, coming up with excuses to follow you around or simply just stare.

I remember your black hair that curled up at the tips, forming that mullet that somehow looked amazing on you. I remember your dark eyes that shone brightly and the smile you wore when you were happy.

I remember your pout when Allura lectured the two of us about teamwork and I remember the scowl when were mad.

I remember the way your eyelashes curled and the way your eyes sparkled when you did something, completed it.

I remember what you were like in the beginning. I remember hating you because you were just so much better than me. I remember seeing you and feeling motivated to beat you, to become better.

I remember coming up with the lame excuse of us being rivals to talk to you. I remember feeling anxious when you first looked at me, eyebrows knit in confusion as your eyes scanned me and your mind processed the data.

Do you remember when we first met? When Shiro was unconscious in an alien craft and we both came to save him? Ha, that was a strange way to meet.

Do you remember when we first formed Voltron? Because I do. I remember when we were all in the heat of battle and the adrenaline was pumping through our veins. I remember how it felt when Allura complimented us, telling us we were the Defenders of The Universe. I felt so happy; I could finally make a difference. Do you remember?

When we met the Arusians and they danced us that strange dance in their way of thanks and you looked so uncomfortable. It was kind of cute when you allowed one of them to hug you and when you bothered to continue to talk to them. I remember how defensive you were at first until you softened up. I remember.

Do you remember that? I remember staying up late, thinking about Earth. We were so far away from our home planet and the distance occasionally found it's way to get to me.

I remember the look on your face when we met Nyma and Rolo and I knew you were somewhat on guard, even if not as much as Hunk. You were trying to start a conversation with Rolo when he was 'fixing' his vehicle and I remember the pang in my chest when I noticed your smile.

I remember when I pretended to forget our little bonding moment after our near-death experience. It was nice. I don't know why I said I forgot about it because, honestly, I loved it. I wanted more and I remember how sad and heartbroken you looked. I remember regretting it.

I remember our first interactions. I picked a fight with you every chance I got, thrusting the both of us into unnecessary bickering. At first it was something I didn't like, the result of jealousy and exhaustion but later on it became our thing. Something to look forward to everyday.

I remember when we started to talk more and I slipped into my family talk. I remember telling you everything about my family, from their faults to their weaknesses to what made them happy and what pissed them off and made good prank material. I remember you telling me that you didn't have a family, that you were alone for most of your life and I remember my body moving by itself when I wrapped my arms around you tightly.

I remember when you finally let your walls down. When you cried in front of me and entrusted me with your feelings. I remember you thanking me and I remember telling you that when we defeated Zarkon, I was going to take you everywhere and give you the experiences you didn't have as a kid.

You were always training. Even after missions when we should all be resting, I remember waking up for a snack to find you hacking away against the training simulation while you let out strained breaths and twisted your body in ways I didn't think possible.

You inspired me to work harder. I had to be better than you. I remember when you were on Training Level Five and I was only on the second level. I remember lying, telling you I was on Level Four so I wouldn't fall behind. I remember looking up to you (even if you are shorter than me) and seeing a person that I wanted to become.

You made my day better. You helped me become a better person. You stated the obvious truths that I had forgotten. You kept up with my stupid jokes and puns and personality. You stuck by my side when I was lonely and when I needed emotional support.

You were special. You were different.  You influenced me in too many ways to list. You gave me, and the rest of the team, strength to keep fighting and to keep going, to not give up.

And I wasn't ready. I wasn't prepared.

I didn't know how much it would hurt, how much I would feel.

I didn't know a human or an alien was capable of shedding so many tears.

I didn't know that one person could make such a big difference in my life.

I didn't know that I had grown accustomed to your prideful comebacks and the way you grinned when you knew you won.

I didn't know that I relied on you so much.

I didn't know how much a team could break apart when a member was missing.

I didn't know that you were trying so hard. Trying your best to look strong, to look dependable.

I didn't know how to react. My emotions were stuck. I felt broken.

I didn't want to accept that you were gone. I never wanted to have to accept it.

I didn't want to accept that you were fighting the Galra and messed up. I was so close to you and I didn't realize that the soldiers were swarming you, taking advantage of your momentary pause. You looked up and I saw your eyes begging at me for help, for me to save you.

I remember that you kept fighting, blocking and swinging your bayard against the Galra. I saw the look of desperation when you realized you lost. I remember the scream when one of the sentries plunged it's sword into your side and the splatter of red blood against the cold gray floors of the Galra warship made the world seem to spin in circles.

I remember how your beautiful dark eyes dilated and how tears formed and fell down your bloody and bruised cheeks.

I remember how you grip loosened on your weapon and another soldier shot you in the back. Your body lunged forward, crashing into the Galra in front of you.

I remember how I froze in fear and when I started moving, it was too late.

My legs found themselves dashing to you as the third Galra stabbed you in the center of your chest, nearly piercing your heart.

I remember how your legs gave out and how I fought off all the guards until they were piles of scrap.

I remember cradling you in my arms, whispering for you to wake up, for you to open your eyes.

I remember how your eyes fluttered open just slightly and the smile that formed when you saw my face, leaning our yours.

And I remember you lifting your hand to stroke my face before allowing your eyelids shut and for you body to fall limp.

I knew full well that I was screaming and sobbing. I knew that I didn't let you go, even when I knew you had no pulse.  I refused to let Shiro close and didn't bother to guard against the attacks of the enemy.

I knew that I had lost apart of myself that I could never get back. I knew that the part of my heart that you filled up would never be full again.

I knew why you smiled in the end. I knew why you fell unconscious with that adorable grin on your face. I know that you were happy. I know that you wanted the rest of us to live and to thrive.

I know that you knew you were dying and chose to be happy in your last moments.

I know that even in the end you managed to outdo me. Your smile was a symbol, a sign to me and for all of us that you thought you were worth it.

But, I could never forget. If I had gotten there sooner, I could have saved you. If I had run faster, I could have saved you.

And I know I won't ever forget you and the memories we made together.

I remember everything.

I remember.

I won't forget.

I promise I won't forget.

I love you, Keith. And I'm sorry.