Y/N = Your Name
M/N = Middle Name
L/N = Last Name
H/C = Hair Colour
H/L = Hair Length
E/C = Eye Colour
S/T = Skin Tone
POV = Point of View
F/F = Favorite Food
F/C = Favorite Colour
A/N = Author's Note
▪ or ●○● or ○●○ = a separator, not really an abriviation. Will be used in certain places.
Italics = Thoughts, Onomatopoeia, Or emphasising.
Parenthesis = A small reminder or conversion of money or standard to metric system.
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Enjoy!

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/!\ Trigger Warning: This chapter involves murder and mention of suicide. Do not proceed if you're sensitive to these topics. /!\

▪Y/N's POV▪
▪8:00 PM, 20:00▪

It's about time I tell somebody. It's killing me. I know just the person to tell, and I'm hoping she's home soon. I left the guild earlier than wanted because of my thoughts because of recent events.

I needed to tell Lucy about my past. It's killing me and she's the only person I can trust, not to mention, I already know hers.

I've always wanted to let go of it, to erase it from my memory. But lately, all of my memories of those days rush back into my head, wanting me dead, and all I can do about it is complain and cry.

Right now I'm laying on the couch in my shared apartment with Lucy. I swear I'm getting myself one soon, it's just I don't got enough money right now. I hear the door click and the familiar sound of Lucy sighing and her shoes clicking along the wood. I turn in her direction. I greet her before addressing my problem.

"Hey Luce, I need to get something off my chest," I mumble as she nods, "Remember when you told me your past? It's about mine this time. Just... let me say I didn't warn you if you're shocked or disgusted by my story." I make room for Lucy as she sits next to me, nodding with a sympathetic look on her face.

"Well, I wasn't always feared and I 'heartless' for say. I had a lovely family and I loved them," I began.

▪Magic: Rewind Time▪
▪Y/N is estimated to be 7▪

I giggled as I ran from my brother. We were playing tag in the decently sized front yard our parents owned. I was much faster than him despite being younger.

"Coming, Blue?" I taunted as he crouched over, hands on his knees, and caught his breath. I did the same.

"You're... You're cheating!" He pants and he laughs, I join him. We were a good 5 feet apart. "How are you so fast?!"

"Hmm, I'm not fast, you're just slow!" I ran some more. "Maybe we can practice magic later if you can catch me!"

Our mother watched us with a smile from her chair on the porch. She had medium h/c hair and these warm autumn-orange eyes. Our father cooked dinner for us from our beautiful kitchen. He had bluish black hair and vibrant green eyes.

They even promised to practice magic with me after dinner. We always had a routine when my brother and I would practice a lost magic or two in between each meal, excluding between lunch and dinner, that was our play time. I particuarly enjoy Arc of Time Magic, my brother prefers Dark Magic.

(A/N: If the dialogue or narration goes back to the present, it will be italicized).

"Our lives were perfect. That was until about two years later of those days." A frown crossed my face.

I screamed for my mother and kicked and swung my arms. I'm in an unknown area. It looked satanic from the candles, but I can't see much else. All I hear is chanting in a language I don't know.

Out of no where, it was like watching my body in someone else's eyes. I watched my as I walked to my house, my eyes soulless as can be. I screamed and cried from what seems like afar as I watched myself grab a kitchen knife from its place in the drawers. I already knew what was to come.

"It felt so unreal, Lucy, watching my 9 year old body murder my family," I was crying by now. What I didn't know is that Gray was standing in the doorway, listening to me rant my story. Looks like Lucy didn't either.

It was bloody and gruesome. An awful sight for sure. Their screams remained in my mind even after they dropped dead. I finally was back in my body, wielding my kitchen knife stained with blood. I screamed and cried for real this time. The authorities took me away to be "corrected" as they put it. I know I was going to be sentenced for at least half of my life time.

It was awful. The people told me it would be alright, I was only going to be questioned. Which was only partly right. I spill my story, the satanic looking area and watching myself in what felt like third person, yet no one believed me.

"This one is delusional," a gruff voice explained, "sentence her to shock therapy."

"I was dragged to a room with a metal table with restraints in the middle. The room was pretty large, yet I remember it so clearly. Directly across was a window with sick bastards with what looked like lab coats controlling my 'therapy.' I thought that was going to be my life. All the shocking," I sniffed, "my screaming in unison of my deceased family's ringing in my head." Tears fell more efficiently now and I barely could talk. Lucy didn't speak once, not wanting to interupt me.

I'm beginning to become emotionless, soulless at that. I accept this is going to be life. It has been for 1 year already, I'm about to turn 11 in this awful place. I even have considered killing myself. Even tried. I tried hanging myself, bleeding to death, borh failed. I don't want to live here. I don't want to live. What's the point in living when I'm already damaged to the point where I'm being shocked for something I technically didn't do?

"I change my mind," I spoke to myself in my shock therapy room, about to receive more punishment, "I want live a normal life, I want to escape. Even if escaping isn't killing myself."

"So that's what I did. I fled as far as possible. I ended up at Fairy Tail for about a year. That's why most of the guild remembered me. Unfortunately I drove my self to leave due to guilt and fear."

I want to feel like I fit in, but it seems almost impossible. No one has been through what I have, or has even done what I've done. They wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain it.

I know I'll miss my new friends I've made like Erza, Natsu, and Mirajane if I left. I'll even miss Gray even though he insists I cheated in our duel yesterday. But I have no choice, do I? What if I mess up again? What if someone realizes who I am or what I've done?

And so I decide to leave. It's for my own good, right?

▪Magic: Fast Forward▪

"I was foolish. I went to Sabertooth of all places to fit in with the misfits. I fit in even less there and got abused a lot," by now I've been sobbing, Lucy desperately trying to comfort me, "I thought that's just how things were, they were rude to new comers. Truth is, I've always been abused by them, but I decided to stay. I thought all the emotional and physical abuse was just play for them, and it was. Only because I was their dog toy and they were the vicious dogs. And that was that."

Lucy was lightly crying with me, whispering, "It's okay, it's okay." I explained that's why I was so upset yesterday about thunder palace and with Laxus on general. She nodded understanding.

"Y-Y/N... You've been through so much... I'm... I'm so sorry." That voice was familiar. I turned around, and just who I suspected it was, it was Gray.

I looked away in shame. Why did I think this was a good idea? Now Gray has seen me crying. Isn't that great? I'm going to be humiliated when he tells everyone. All he did was walk up to me, crouching down to my level. He tried to hug me, but I pushed him away.

"Go away, I refuse to let you see me this weak," I whimper as I pull my knees to my chest and cry into them. Lucy had got up to give me some space and to shower.

Gray picked me up and placed me on the floor, forcing my knees down and brushing my hair out of my face. I kept sniffing, trying to stop tears, but I couldn't.

▪Gray's POV▪

I couldn't help myself from trying to comfort Y/N who was now crying on the floor. I've had no idea she's been through so much, it hurt me a lot more than I feel like it should. I brushed her hair out of her face and wiped some tears from her eyes. She sniffed constantly, trying to feel stronger than she was in this situation. I mentally smiled at how she was still trying to stop crying and be strong. There was no reason to in front of me, I wouldn't tease if she cried, I'm not that kind of asshole.

I sat down in front of Y/N, looking into her teary eyes. I pulled her into my lap and hugged her. She slowly relaxed as she hugged back, her legs wrapping around my weist. I could still feel her warm tears on the shoulder of my shirt. It seemed like she was crying even more now.

"I'm so sorry, Gray..." She was so quiet I could barely hear her. I was shocked, she was apologizing, but for what?

"For what, dear?" I whispered softly, mentally slapping myself for calling her 'dear.'

"For... For crying. For l-letting you hear my story..." I took her head gently off my shoulder, placing it in front of mine, or at least to where she could see my eyes.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault, I promise. It was my fault anyways, you know? For eavesdropping?" I smile gently and allow her to lay her head on my shoulder once more. With one hand I rubbed her back, with the other I softly stroked her hair. I wanted to protect her, I wanted to stay like this for forever.

Y/N fell asleep in my lap after crying for a few more minutes. I get her up on my back, holding her feet so she wouldn't fall, and lay her gently on Lucy's bed, already missing her warmth and quiet yet calming breathing.

Before leaving, I kissed her on the forehead and whispered, "Good night, love." And off I went, forgetting why I was at Lucy's in the first place.

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