So far, Icekit had refused to talk to the medicine cat, sparks of anger still bursting in her heart whenever he tried to talk to her. She ate the herbs he gave her and listened to his instructions dully, but any contact, any friendly interaction beyond that was absolutely despicable. She loathed him for causing pain to her mother, and she loathed him for lying. She had to be RiverClan, what else could she be? 

The medicine cat apprentice, Leappaw, was kind to her, but Icekit knew that when she healed, she would be taking Leappaw's place, and Leappaw could be a warrior. Icekit could never be a warrior. Not with the injuries that the medicine cat failed to heal. He left her ugly and deformed, just because he thought she wasn't RiverClan. He left her to feel pain burning in her back every time she stood up, everytime she tried moving more than a couple pawsteps. She hated him. 

Her brother would visit her every day, lingering for as long as he could before being summoned away again by his mentor. She wanted him to stay, to curl into the side of his body and tell him all her troubles like they used to do as kits. More than anything else, she wanted Greyfin to come see her.

The grey queen had been avoiding her, and whenever they locked gazes she would always look away with a spark of sadness in her eyes. Salmonpaw would assure Icekit that yes, Greyfin still loved her, but she didn't know how to deal with having her daughter crippled for the rest of her life. She didn't understand why she was still in pain, why the medicine cat did nothing to help. 

"You have to understand she's scared," Salmonpaw would say, his tail draped over her shoulders comfortingly. "She's scared that you're not going to be the way you were."

Icekit would be furious inside at this, often creating scathing comebacks in her mind. Well of course I won't be the same, she thought. I'm crippled and I'm useless and I'm stuck in this musty old den. She generally wouldn't listen to whatever else Salmonpaw said, her anger at him and Greyfin clouding her mind and causing her to ignore him. She'd always regret it later when she saw Greyfin send him away if he tried to speak to her.

She knew that their mother was grieving, but she didn't have to shut out both her kits. It was Icekit's fault, not Salmonpaw's. She was resting in the den like she did all day, every day when Greyfin finally visited. She resisted the urge to spring to her paws and fling herself at her mother, her blue eyes brimming with relief. Greyfin came to sit next to her, resting her muzzle on Icekit's head. Icekit enjoyed the silence and comfort for a while, but she knew things needed to be addressed. 

She finally pulled her head away from Greyfin, staring at her mother inquisitively. The silence stretched on as she waited for her mother to speak, forcing her pelt to lie smooth as all her feelings of resentment and rejection rose in her throat. She forced all her barbed comments to keep quiet, her eyes dark as she waited, waited, waited. 

Finally, she burst. "Do you not love me anymore?" She cried, burying her muzzle in Greyfin's fur, feeling a warm tail drag her closer. 

"Of course I love you, Icekit. I'm just.. I am just scared. I haven't been a good mother to you or Salmonpaw lately and I feel awful, but you have to understand, I don't know how to deal with things like this," Greyfin soothed. 

Far from being comforted, Icekit felt angry and lifted her head to glare at Greyfin. "You don't know how to deal with this? You? I'm the one who's crippled, I'm the one who can't walk because of the pain. I'm the one stuck in here without anywhere to go or anyone to talk to, but you don't know how to deal with it?" 

Greyfin quickly tried to backtrack, her next sentence a garbled stutter. "I-I-I didn't m-mean it like th-"

Icekit cut her off. "You know what? I've been wanting to see you the whole time I've been here, but you stayed away from me like a disease. Then you finally come and see me, and make it all about you!" She spat, curling up and refusing to look at her, placing her tail over her nose.

Greyfin touched her muzzle to Icekit's head, letting out a resigned sigh. She padded out of the den, reminding Icekit of what had happened when she was first brought to the den, reminding her of the conversation and how Greyfin gave up. She sighed, angry and disappointed and confused. 

At this point, all she wanted was to curl up and sleep, to be free from her troubles.