"And if they, if they really knew all of those things

That you do in your room to hide the pain,"

Russia's POV:

My grin faded as I looked at my bleeding arm. This wasn't enough. It didn't hurt enough. I needed to hurt more than this! My fists clenched and I rummaged through my dresser drawers, looking for my Swiss army knife. A dark smile crept over my face when I saw the familiar blade. My arms were too scarred to inflict any real damage, so I pulled off my shirt, revealing my chest. Taking a deep breath, I slowly made the first cut across my ribs. I felt nothing. Another cut, and then another and another, but still I felt nothing.

"Why isn't it working?!" I growled in a harsh whisper, tears of frustration spilling down my cheeks. I kept cutting, starting to make them deeper until I finally felt a small sting. Deeper and deeper they became, and I smiled. I don't know how long I was doing it for, but soon enough my chest was littered with miscellaneous gashes, and the word "monster" was carved into my left ribs. I smiled. I swallowed hard, knowing what I needed to do next. I couldn't let my boss use me to hurt people anymore. I couldn't let my friends and family suffer because of me.

"Goodbye," I whispered, pointing the knife at my heart. I gasped in pain as I plunged the blade deep inside of me. Blood pooled around me and I collapsed to the ground. I could feel myself going into shock and my body began to shake uncontrollably. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and towards my room, and I began to panic. I struggled to my feet and tried to run to my closet so that I could hide, but the amount of blood I had lost made me weak and I collapsed to the ground.

"Mr. Russia!" a strained voice squeaked, and I turned my head to look at the door. Latvia's tiny frame stood in the doorway, his body shaking with terror as he stared at me. I gave him a small smile and closed my eyes.

"E-Estonia, Lithuania, Belarus, help! Mr. Russia is in trouble!" he screamed, and I heard him run back down the stairs. No...No. Let me die. I don't want to hurt them anymore, I thought, a tear sliding down my cheek. Four figures ran into my bedroom, casting a shadow over me. Belarus screamed and fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face.

"B-big brother! W-why?! Why did you do this?" she sobbed, burying her head in her hands. I lifted a shaking hand and brushed her face with my fingertips.

"It's for the best, Belarus. I can't h-hurt anyone any more now," I said quietly. She shook her head wildly and laid her head on my chest, hugging me tightly. She turned her head to look at Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, her face filled with anger.

"What are you doing just standing there?! Call someone!" she screamed. Estonia nodded, his face still filled with shock, and ran out of the room. My eyes widened and I willed my death to come faster.

"N-no! Don't he-elp me! I don't want to hurt anyone else! Let me die so you all can be free," I said desperately. Lithuania's eyes narrowed but he remained silent. Belarus stared at me with wide eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. I felt my consciousness leaving me and I sighed. Smiling one last time at Belarus, I closed my eyes for the last time.