I said I'd never let nobody near my heart again, darlin'

I said I'd never let nobody in

*******

"I want to believe I am close to discovering the truth of this virus, but each day, I feel as though I'm going in the wrong direction." The Kymari male said.

"I feel the same way. We must get the answers we need." The female said. "I overheard the head doctor stating there were four more cases over the last lunar cycle."

"This virus does not act like anything we have come across before. It is only on this planet and has steadily worsened over the last few years."

I took a moment to read through their minds, and it was an interesting puzzle. Humans had many viruses with protein bases that would attach to the central nervous system. It could be anything from AIDS to Whipple's disease. But about ten percent of these cases did not attach, which baffled them. When it didn't, their bodies would fight it off without help. But when it did, it could kill without intervention. So far, none have died.

These Kymari are scientists like I was. I miss science.

I closed off my mind and curled into a ball to nap. Not my problem.

Over the next month or so, I ignored all references to this virus and checked on the other dragonets in the park to ensure all were okay. This virus doesn't seem to affect us, just the Kymari. Some are starting to be concerned about the aliens abandoning the planet. After living in the wild, I hope they will take us with them, as I don't want to be outside the walls again.

I thought back on what I had seen in the minds of the two Kymari scientists. The doctors were managing the symptoms of the sick Kymari, but they needed to find the cause. They were a bit frustrated with the lack of history for humans, as this virus is only on this planet, so the humans could have come across it or solved it at some point. If we did, it is in my brain somewhere.

I sometimes think about those years of trying to understand why we were turned into this mini-dragon. I now believe it was so the human race could live on, as the Votaks had destroyed everything. There is no history of our race left—just us.

We need to find out what is happening to the Kymari. The question is, how?

I've spoken to the bonded ones, and they state the Kymari language is impossible to learn to read. We talk in English in the mindlink and the Dragonet language when speaking out loud. We have Blood Memories, which we hatched with, and the newer generations also have.

These Blood Memories are our own from when we were human and information on all the different aliens across the galaxies. We understand thousands of languages and customs of other species. Our brains translate it into English. Even the bonded ones, when talking to their handlers, think in English, but somehow, when it gets to the Kymari, it's in their language. The new generations have memories from both parents.

The other dragonets believe I was a research doctor, just graduated but hoping to work on researching new medications for cancer, which was my aim before... well before. None of them knew I was the scientist who fixed the formula that turned them into dragonets. That's another reason why I will never pair off. I don't want children to be born with my ability or memories.

For now, I will just let it go and keep my mouth shut. Hopefully, the others have forgotten that I was in the medical field. While I would like to help, the last time I used my love and passion for science, many lives were destroyed.

I went to the big pond, bathed, and lay in the sun. No matter how much I tried to clear my mind and nap, my brain continued running.

I could talk to a scientist or a doctor and learn more about it, or I could leave it be. My brain wants the high of solving the puzzle. My heart still hurts from the amount of damage that was caused last time. The euphoric feeling of solving what no one else did can NEVER equal the pain I felt after seeing the terror in the mind of a newly hatched dragonet in that lab.

No. Just no.

I could feel the tears, and I suddenly started to shake. I had no control over the whine that left me as my chest hurt badly. The emotional pain becomes physical sometimes for me, and this was one of those times. I hopped off the rock I was on and walked into the water. I've been in this moment many times over the last fifteen years. I know what to do.

I pulled on my memories of the Morning Song and let myself feel that, blocking out everything else. A few of us originals have tried to hide from the sunrise in our dens or burrows so we don't feel the song's pull. After about a week, you no longer want to eat or survive. It's a form of suicide. But as a flock, we know who is missing and why. If you don't show up, someone will come looking for you. The children born to us don't feel this until they see their first sunrise, as we did after leaving the lab.

I tried a few times. They would find me or send their feelings from the song into my mindlink. We did have a dragonet who succeeded after his mate was killed. He blocked the mindlink and hid in an old burrow. I can't stop my mindlink—another fun fact about my mind-reading ability. I can pull back but can't completely turn the damn thing off.

I guess I deserve the pain of these memories. It is rare for old feelings to surface in the dragonets now. They are all pretty happy and content with their lives, but I still get flashbacks sometimes of the time I spent in the lab.

Sometimes, I wish I had never been born.