Why do I miss the feeling I had,
The thoughts of utter self loathing?

Is it because of way,
You brightened my day,
To the point I ended up burned?

Taking a sip of something good,
But too much of everything is bad.

I miss the poison,
I miss the pain,
I miss the yearn of death.

I miss the cuts,
I miss the burns,
I miss the bruises,
I miss the blood,
I miss the fight,
I miss the missing of feeling alright.

I miss the comments,
I miss the hate,
I miss the social ladder I was on,
I miss the bottom.

Why do I miss the poison?
Why do I miss the pain?
Why do I miss the yearn of death?

Why do I miss the cuts?
Why do I miss the burns?
Why do I miss the bruises?
Why do I miss the blood?
Why do I miss the fight?
Why do I miss the missing of feeling alright?

Why do I miss the comments?
Why do I miss the hate?
Why do I miss the social ladder I was on?
Why do I miss the bottom?

Why the fuck do I?