Alessandro eyed a long streak of translucent brown as a small drop of coffee rolled down his mug. Its vibrant mint color appeared ugly underneath harsh yellow lighting. A c-shaped handle was marred by a tiny chip. Albeit faint, a small blob of white gave way to a hairline fracture. The mug itself was still functional, but it would probably need to be replaced soon. If not, bleak walls of a psychiatrist's office would quickly turn into bleak walls of a noisy hospital. The cause? Scalding coffee spilling into his lap.

When he was done observing the mug's faulty handle, he found some interest in the wisps of steam that frolicked away from the rim.

His body ached for more caffeine. It screamed for it—begged, even. Puffy bags beneath his eyes had never felt heavier.

But no matter how strong the urge for a hot, fresh cup of joe was, Alessandro didn't go beyond his initial sip.

"You seem antsy today."

He didn't answer. Not verbally, at least. A single nod portrayed a silent agreement with the observation.

Alessandro could feel his psychiatrist's burning gaze when one of his legs started bouncing. The woman's overall form stiffened. She began to write something down on a long blue clipboard. It sat atop her lap, and she used her crossed legs as a sort of tabletop.

He could see her knees as a dark brown skirt stopped right above them. Her lower legs were hidden by shiny leather boots with a tear in one of the side clasps. Slender hands were partially shielded by a fuzzy black sweater. A chain bracelet jingled with every slight movement of the wrist.

Quiet writing quickly became nerve wracking.

"Could you put on some music, Dr. Hall? I- it's too quiet right now."

"What kind?"

"It doesn't matter. Just please use something to fill the silence."

Dr. Hall nodded her head in understanding. She stopped her writing. Incessant jingling from her bracelet stopped as well.

The woman placed the clipboard into her chair after getting up. A leisure pace was taken over to a vintage record player. It seemed that a disc was already in its rightful place because she put the needle down without reaching for a vinyl. Slow piano filled the office. The instrument was accompanied by a slightly louder violin.

Classical music was a smidge too noisy, but Alessandro chose to not comment on it.

"Is that better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Dr. Hall sat back down in her seat. She placed her clipboard back in her lap and resumed her previous position. A small, kind smile was offered to her patient. "You're not usually this... quiet."

"A lot happened this week. I just don't really know how to talk about it because I can't wrap my head around anything." Alessandro scratched his arm. "Things are just... a lot right now."

"Well, you could just start with one thing, and we can go from there. You don't have to start with what's bothering you the most, but I think it'd do you some good if you did."

"...Lance is back."

"Lance" —Dr. Hall raised her eyebrows— "as in Lance Kade?"

"Who else?"

"...Should I assume that your meeting didn't go well?"

"Not at all." Green eyes moved toward the wooden table that housed a mint colored mug. Looking at the heated beverage gave him an excuse to not focus on overwhelming, conflicting thoughts. "He was... hostile, to say the least. But it was rightfully so. He still hasn't forgiven me. And I don't think he should."

"But?"

"But- I just- I want us to be able to move past it. I don't want to ignore his feelings, or make him feel like he has no choice. I just want us to be able to coexist."

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little confused," Dr. Hall interrupted. "How exactly did you two meet?"

"He came by for a modeling job at my company. The interview was a huge clusterfuck of emotions, but I tried to keep the role of Mr. Bale going. Alessandro doesn't belong in the workplace- so I tried to stay in founder-of-the-company mode. It was really hard. The real me came out a few times. Lance just- he's always had that influence on me. He knew my smiles were fake even if I didn't say anything to give it away."

"Why exactly do you want things to work with him?"

"Because he deserves it." Alessandro leaned his elbows atop his knees, his form slouching over. "I don't want our relationship, or lack thereof, to get in the way of something that could be really good for him. I gave him the choice of working with me because of my company's status. At the same time though, I told him I could pull some strings if he wanted to work at another agency. It's the least I can do for him."

"Even though he was so hostile toward you?"

"I had it coming. Lance wasn't always mean and cold and- and bitter toward me. I made that happen. I broke him and formed him into... whatever he is now. It's my fault. I just want to help him get the things that he wants- because it's my fault that things broke the way they did."

"You're being too hard on yourself, Alessandro," Dr. Hall countered. "You feel like you owe him something for breaking his heart. I understand that. But I don't think fulfilling his wishes will give you any closure. This is the first time you two have met since the breakup. I think you're rushing into this because you want to make up for lost time. You want to make up for all the years that should've been happy- but weren't."

"It's not- it's not that I want to make up for lost time. Maybe that's the case, but that's not why I'm doing this," Alessandro replied, uncertainty showing via tense shoulders. "He just- when I first noticed that it was Lance sitting in my office, I freaked out. I legitimately panicked on the inside. I didn't know what to feel. But the emotions that did pass through me- they weren't bad, per se. He didn't make me feel bad. I was just... frazzled. There were so many things I wanted to say but didn't."

"...Are you talking about now? Or... back then? That day."

"...Both, I guess." A light gulp interrupted slow paced instrumentals. "He brought her up, y'know. Lance brought up... that woman."

"Is it still too hard to say her name?" Dr. Hall asked with a gentle tone.

"Just the thought of her makes me want to vomit. I think if I say it, I actually will vomit."

"Does Lance know that?"

"No. He doesn't need to. What happened before- it happened. I just want to move past it."

"And a step in doing so is being able to say Kassandra's name."

"I know. Just- I-" he stammered, "she's still a sensitive topic. I need to take baby steps when it comes to her."

Dr. Hall nodded. She wrote down a few notes before bringing her attention back up to her patient. "Why don't you tell me what else happened during your meeting with Lance?"

*

Heavy rain pounded against the car window. Tiny droplets were tinted a vibrant orange courtesy of glowing streetlights. They left behind long, stiff shadows that rode across Alessandro's face when he drove past them. He felt a headache coming on; something that probably had to do with the unconscious habit of furrowing his eyebrows together.

His tongue danced across his back molars as a means of keeping a part of himself active. The muscle was slightly chewed on. Faint traces of coffee still lingered on his teeth, their texture feeling rougher than normal. A long session with a toothbrush would probably help remedy the annoying sensation.

The thought crossed his mind as Alessandro stopped at a red light. For a moment, he waited. He blinked once. Twice.

His eyes still felt dry. He still felt tired. But he knew he wasn't going to get much sleep when he went home. Deep down, he knew he needed a distraction because his meds were going to start wearing off soon.

Somehow, that sought after necessity came in the form of a phone call.

After checking to make sure the light was still red, Alessandro looked at the touchscreen display on his dashboard. A contact name for Leonardo Bale popped up alongside a ringing phone icon. The call was accepted without a moment's hesitation.

"Evening, Leo."

"Eh, it's about 1 a.m. over here, but evening Ale." He chuckled. "How are you? You sound tired."

"I am, but I'm heading home to get some rest now. Just on my way back from a session with Dr. Hall."

"Oh? And how was that?"

"...Exhausting." Alessandro sighed as he began driving again. "I know she's just doing her job and trying to help, but it's been a shit week. The only reason I talked about it was because I knew she wouldn't have let me go had I not said anything."

"Well" —Leonardo talked through a yawn— "go ahead and vent if you want. That's what I'm here for."

"You're really playing up the role of big brother tonight."

"What do you mean tonight? I'm your amazing, more handsome, stronger older brother all the time."

"Har har."

"I'm kidding. Kind of. Anyway- say what you need to. I'm all ears. I'm out on the patio right now since everyone else is sleeping. So you don't have to worry about holding things back."

Alessandro felt a slight weight lift off of his shoulders. He knew that he could be completely honest here because Leonardo actually listened. The older Bale was both a pair of open ears and a patient voice of reason. He wasn't afraid of being brutally honest. It was exactly what was needed after the shit show of a week that just happened.

"Lance stopped by the office."

"...That Lance?"

"Yeah."

"What for?"

"A job interview. He's an aspiring model looking to score big with a major company. Me being the nice asshole that I am, I thought it'd be a good idea to go through with having him. Never mind the complete fucking mess that I was on the inside during the whole thing."

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Leonardo asked.

"I don't know. But it gives us the chance to patch things up. To make a new relationship and forget the one that we had."

"...You sure about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You sure you're doing this because you want to forget your relationship? And not because you want to try to fix it?"

"Leo-"

"I'm just saying," he interrupted, "I know how you are. Seeing how things ended between you two, I'm sure you see this as your shot to make amends. I don't think your real goal here is to legitimately end the relationship you used to have. Seems more like you want to fix the one you had- even if that means it isn't a romantic one anymore. Can't really say it's a new relationship if you still have wires, no matter how old, keeping you tethered to him. And you can't tell me you're not. If you weren't, you wouldn't even entertain the idea of seeing him—let alone working with him."

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Do I need to tell you that you're lying to yourself if you disagree?"

"Do I need to tell you that you're an asshole for being right?"

"I mean, you could." Leonardo snickered to himself. "But like you said, I'm right. You'll save yourself a lot of time and stress if you just come clean about your feelings. The honest ones, anyway."

"Yeah..."

"...Are you sure that you want to fix this strictly for business reasons?"

"I honestly don't know how to answer that, Leo. I really wasn't ready to see him so out of the blue. He... really caught me off guard. I'm not sure how to feel about what'll happen if he actually starts working for me."

"Is he not yet? Did you tell him no, or..?"

"I told him he could choose between me and another company for the sake of his own comfort. He's thinking things over. So as of right now, he doesn't work for me. Whether or not that be a yet- well, we'll see."

"If he doesn't work for you then you shouldn't worry about it. If he says yes, cool- you can worry about it then. But if he says no and decides to work elsewhere- there's nothing for you to freak out over. And even if he does start working for you- it's your business. You call the shots. I know he has a certain hold on you, but don't let that fuck up how you run your company."

Alessandro hummed noncommittally. He was still unsure of what to do about all this, so he wasn't sure how to respond. Fortunately, a well placed yawn gave him an excuse to not think about the situation at hand.

"You should get some sleep, Leo. I know you work tomorrow."

"Yeah, but the restaurant opens late. Isabelle is taking the kids to school in the morning too, so I can sleep in a bit."

"Still- don't force yourself to stay up because of me."

"I'll stay up if you need me, Ale."

He smiled in response to the passing, genuine statement. "I'll be fine. If anything, I'll call you if shit hits the fan again, okay?"

"...Fine. But if I find out you're hiding shit-"

"You'll march over here and chew me out in person, I know." Alessandro shook his head, laughing.

"Saves me the effort of saying it," Leonardo added. "...I'll let you go then. Have a good week- and... good luck with all this."

"I will. Tell Ma and Pa I say hi. Give my love to Isabelle and the kids."

"For sure. Goodnight, Ale."

"Night, Leo."

The call ended, and the car became silent again.

Alessandro brought his full attention back to the winding road in front of him. His hands slightly loosened against the steering wheel; and it didn't feel like he was moments away from popping it right out of place.

With the distance lessening between himself and his house, less streetlights were seen. They became further spread apart until the only source of illumination came from the beams in front of his car.

Pleasant silence was interrupted by a quiet ringtone. The display screen showcased an unknown number attempting to call him.

Raising a single eyebrow, he answered. "Hello?"

"Alessandro."

His eyes widened. "Lance? Uh, how are you?"

"I've thought things over." The question was ignored altogether, Lance choosing to get straight to the point. "I've decided to accept the position at your company... along with your conditions."

"That's- that's good to hear. I'm sure you'll be a great addition to the team."

"Right."

"...When would you want to plan a meeting for dinner? Or lunch- or whatever you want. Unless you'd rather discuss this in person."

"I'll get back to you on that."

"Yeah- no worries." Alessandro nodded, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. "If that's the case though, I'll need you to come down to the office, so we can go over your contract. While we do that, I'll start making the preparations for your first photo shoot."

"Can I stop by tomorrow?"

"That's more than fine. I'll be a little swamped with meetings, but you can stop by during lunchtime. I'm open from 12:15 to 1:30. If you can't make it then, I don't mind staying a little later to talk after hours."

"I'll come right before closing. I'll text you when I get there."

"Of course."

A moment of silence was shared between them. It still felt awkward, but at least this time it wasn't overtaken by suffocating tension.

"...I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lance."